cheerful, brash smartass and the eager apprentice hoping to
absorb the decades of collective car experience surrounding
him. Rose, it just so happens, is also married to Worman’s
daughter, which is just too perfect, exponentially upping the
comic quotient by adding a kind of Archie-and-Meathead
repartee to the proceedings.
And then there’s Daren Kirkpatrick, who is ... well,
actually, I have yet to discern just exactly what purpose
Kirkpatrick serves or what he does, though apparently, by
some vague consensus, his glowering, sniping presence is
regarded as essential to the shop’s operation.
Worman jokes that Kirkpatrick is a jack-of-most-trades
who knows a little bit about everything but not a lot about
anything. MCG Magazine called him “the ultimate villain”
of Graveyard Carz. Certainly, there’s something ominously
instigating in his well-honed nabob-of-sarcasm routine —
which is not to imply that Kirkpatrick lacks charm. It’s just
that his sense of humor is so dry as to be nearly vaporous.
“You’ve got issues,” Kirkpatrick tells me during my second
visit to Welby’s. It’s a Saturday, and I’m there to observe a
day of fi lming. Kirkpatrick leans into me and suggests, in a
conspiratorial whisper, that I focus this entire article on him
else he’ll mess me up. “I’m serious,” he says, and I laugh, but
he never relaxes the pinched, threatening look he’s beaming
at me, like he’s the world champion of contest staring. The
guy is good.
Not long after fi lming begins, Worman accuses Kirkpatrick
of being a “closet Vega driver”; Worman then lets everyone
know that his daughter is mad at Rose because “Josh is
immature and plays video games all day” when he should be
helping out around the house.
“You’ve got a crooked mouth like Stallone,” Worman
tells Rose, “but it isn’t sexy.”
Rose, who often parrots his father-in-law’s sentences back
at him in a constipated, high-pitched cartoon voice, refers
to Worman as “vertically challenged” and then observes, à
la that old Randy Newman song, that short people always
seem to be untalented and unattractive.
“I’ll let Robert Deniro know,” Worman replies. “Al Pacino.
Tom Cruise.”
And around and around it goes. This incessant verbal
bastinado seems to function almost like an emotional release
valve — a preemptive vent that prevents bad feelings from
bottling up and exploding. Which is to say, there is absolutely
nothing passive-aggressive about these guys. In fact, it seems
to me their barbed but benign back-and-forth presents us with
a wonderful antidote and refreshing corrective to the insidious
passive-aggressive big smiley of Northwest politesse.
First Twin Peaks, now Graveyard Carz.
Because, really, there’s nothing wrong with a little smack
talk and rowdy horseplay, especially when it gives shape
and structure and pace to a successful workplace. A good
roast is hard to fi nd — about as hard to fi nd as an OEM-
standard rebuilt ’71 ’Cuda convertible. Graveyard Carz
offers both: hazing without end, as a means to renovating
Mopar masterpieces. It’s a riot. It’s a fast ride.
And it makes for great TV.
ew
Look Forward
to Summer at
the University
of Oregon!
March 23, 2012 • 12pm
South Eugene County
Commissioner
Candidate Debate
Pete Sorenson, Andy
Stahl and Kieran Walsh
How should the representative
of the county’s most liberal
district approach governing
with a conservative majority
on the Commission?
June 25–September 7
March 30, 2012 • 12pm
UNFINISHED BUSINESS:
West EmX Yes or No?
Summer offers courses, workshops,
seminars, and institutes, ranging
from two days to eight weeks.
Schedule your studies tightly
or settle in and take your time.
Summer affords flexibility.
The EmX in West Eugene via
Val Hoyle, Joseph McKinney
and Bob Macherione
For program details or to
view the complete newsletter,
visit us online
www.cityclubofeugene.org
or call 541-485-7433
Important information about
courses, housing, registration,
and fees can be found on the
Summer Session website.
uosummer.uoregon.edu
facebook.com/uosummer
541-346-3475
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