have been lost if they are constantly crossing traffi c. They
may have been just lucky to date.”
So let’s talk turkey: Despite the Northwest’s
preponderance of deer and elk hunters, turkey hunting is
the fastest growing type of hunting nationwide, and Oregon
is no slouch when it comes to the number of folks trying
to wing a gobbler (most commonly with shotguns or bow-
and-arrows). According to ODFW management numbers
for the 2011 spring wild turkey harvest, there were 14,389
registered hunters who, averaging nearly four days of
hunting apiece, bagged a total of 4,132 birds, meaning just
about one in four hunters nailed a turkey.
And get this: assuming Oregon wild turkey hunters hew
to the national average for hunting expenses, the state’s
2003 spring wild turkey season (14,152 hunters) generated
somewhere around $11 million, with more than $412,000
of that coming just from tag sales. To say nothing of the
money coming in from so-called non-consumptive wildlife
activities like bird watching and picture taking — gas,
equipment, fi lm, cameras — which, for instance, a U.S.
Dept. of the Interior 1998 estimate puts at $693 million
spent in Oregon alone.
Budeau says Oregon’s wild turkey population appears to
be stable for now, with between 40,000 and 50,000 of the
things roaming the state. “Most of these turkeys would be
considered truly wild, and live in natural habitat with very
little contact with people.” It’s illegal to hunt turkeys in the
city — even with a knife, Budeau says — so maybe the
gangs that show up here ain’t so stupid after all.
Wild turkeys are known as habitat generalists with a
highly adaptable “cosmopolitan” diet that allows them to
thrive in a variety of settings. They also “domesticate or tame
easily,” Budeau says, especially when “well-meaning folks”
intentionally place snacks out for the birds. So there you have
it: “Food,” Budeau says. “That is the simplest answer as to
why the turkeys end up in our urban or suburban areas.”
And even when folks don’t purposely feed the birds, he says,
“urban/suburban areas still offer numerous food resources”
ranging from pet food to wild berries and home gardens.
“In most areas this is not a problem,” Budeau explains,
but in the Willamette Valley, which sports the state’s densest
human population, “it is more common for turkeys to encounter
humans and the food resources associated with them. There
is simply more opportunity for wild turkeys to interact with
humans and become hooked on the easy food resources.”
Hooked, like junkies. Heroin is notoriously diffi cult to
kick, which may explain why our fi ve feathered friends are
reluctant to return to the wild: Who wants to go cold turkey?
Who wants to trade cat food, crosswalks and local celebrity
for the sodden Hobbesian hell of foraging grubs and berries
when, at any time, in the wobble of wattle, some asshole in
an orange vest could end you with one squeeze of the trigger?
There was a stretch of days, maybe six or seven in a row,
when it seemed I couldn’t step outside without stumbling
across Eugene’s gang of (not so) wild turkeys; they were the
talk of the town; my friends and I started texting each other
cell-phone snaps of our latest wild turkey encounters. But the
day I went out looking for them, photographer in tow, scouring
the city, asking passers-by (few of whom weren’t immediately
aware of what we were asking), posting a call for turkey-
sightings on Facebook, making turkey calls — nothing. “There
are always some up by Dan Neal’s house running by the water
tank. They look delicious,” said one posting. “They have been
told to stay away from my trees,” said another, while others had
us running from Chavez Elementary to Broadway downtown
and then back to Monroe Park.
It took a full 24 hours of intermittent hunting and
pecking before, by chance, I was out walking my dog when
I spotted them on Polk heading west down the W. 10th alley.
We cornered them in someone’s back yard, penned on three
sides by a tall fence, pecking around or standing motionless,
giving us the sideways eyeball.
What sort of damage might those turkeys have been
causing in that backyard? We spotted a single, cylindrical
turkey turd, tinted somewhere between mauve and babyshit
brown, if this can be considered damage, but other than
that there appeared no serious carnage. According to
ODWF, during a two-year period between January 2002,
and December 2003, homeowners fi led 284 turkey-related
damage complaints, with a combined estimated fi nancial
loss of $25,792.
Budeau says wild turkeys are capable of messing up
fl owerbeds and gardens. “They often forage by scratching the
ground with their feet in an attempt to expose seeds or other
food items,” he says, which “can damage fl owers or crops.”
Budeau suggests several methods for discouraging wild turkey
tomfoolery, including removing artifi cial outdoor food sources
like bird feeders or pet food, installing motion-activated
sprinklers, “shiny objects blowing in the wind,” fencing, dogs
as well as raking fallen nuts and fruit from your yard.
Also, though Budeau didn’t directly recommend this, it
might help if the turkey paparazzi, a la Lindsay Lohan, got
a bit more aggressive. “I guarantee that if every person with
a camera frightened and chased after the turkeys, it would
not take those turkeys long to recognize a camera-toting
person as a possible threat,” he says, “and they would do
everything possible to avoid photographers.”
Imagine a gang of fi ve turkeys skulking around
the Barmuda Triangle, going incognito in hoodies and
sunglasses. Or better yet, taking a clue from Russell Crowe
and going ballistic, charging you balls-to-the-wall and
pecking out your Nikon lens.
“In general, turkeys are not dangerous, and usually are
not aggressive toward people,” Budeau tells me. “However,
they are large birds and can be intimidating, and almost
every year there are reports of turkeys, usually adult males,
chasing people or attacking cars. I am not aware of any
serious injuries caused directly by a turkey.”
ew
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