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LARGE LABIA FETISH
LOVER4CANHANDLE
Someone to bite my cock, abuse
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Luv26669u, 63
I’m into it all that is crazy and
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me the swinging life and be my
teacher. Extremeley open mind-
ed. izzyta1987, 24
LOOKING TO PLAY
Hmm basically looking to play
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me a. hornedup, 27
SWE
LOOKING FOR FUN
i am a good girl looking for a
man i am a good girl. sharon-
bbb, 25, g
looking for a curvy women who
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sies. If you are then contact me.
jace123, 20, g
CURIOSITY ;)
With a bit of luck and some seri-
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hobby horses. KuatoLives, 19
PLEASURE TO PLEASE.
Silly sub in serious relat. looking
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Respectful, knowledgeable,
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SensualSub999, 24, g
SPANK SPANK SPANK
I am weird and shy at parties, but
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My favorite position is doggy-
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I want somebody who can hold
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Experienced Master seeks wor-
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LongJohn26, 56, g
HERO OF LEGEND
I am a really shy dude who want
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Basil, 22
just looking for a fun female or
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EugeneGuy03, 21, g
LOOKIN BROWN EYES
brown eyes hit me up;). cjdoz-
in, 22, g
PIERCED DICK
Hi im into older women but open
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email me. bbigguy, 23
HORNY FOR DVP
We are 25 and 28 and looking for
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njillnoff, 25
TANTRIC COUPLE LOOKING
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ADVENTURE SEEKER
Married, but not satisfied.
Looking for fun, but no relation-
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FOUR LETTER WORD
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UNEXPIRENCED 18YR MAN
recently turned 18 not vary inex-
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18, g
I WANT COCK!
i want cock, but like female
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mus, 41
3SUM CUM
me & my gf have wanted 2 be
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minded. please help us do this.
kennethwells, 43, g
HUGECOCK YOUNGGIRL-
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Want to try something new.girl-
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WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I am a straight 24-year-old female who has known my fi ancé since freshman year of col-
lege. He has a fetish where he likes to watch women use the bathroom. I knew this, having
seen some of his porn early on, and I accepted it. We all have kinks. But while peeing in front of
someone isn’t that big of a deal, shitting in front of someone is hard.
So we had a lovely night going, when I had to poop. We went into the bathroom together.
He got very horny, but I couldn’t go. I said I was sorry, maybe I’ll be more relaxed later, and he
goes, “Well, let’s fuck in here in case you have to go.” He wanted to do it sitting on the toilet
with me on top. No go. Too hard, so we went in my room and had amazing sex and smoked
a joint. I wanted to have sex again, but he wanted to wait to see if I could go. He said, “Drink
some coffee! Smoke a cigarette!” I love him and want to be GGG, but the pressure turned me
off. (1) Is this my fault for bringing it up? (2) Was his pressuring me wrong? (3) How should I
approach this situation without sounding like a bitch?
Pressured Over Observable Performance
1. You didn’t do anything wrong when you brought it up, POOP, and he didn’t do anything
wrong when he got excited about the possibility of having his fantasy realized.
2. Yes. However excited your fi ancé was about fi nally realizing his watch-my-girl-take-a-shit
fantasy, he shouldn’t have pressured you to perform once it became clear that it wasn’t gonna
happen. (And he shouldn’t encourage you to smoke cigarettes; those things will kill you.) Shit-
ting in front of someone — and here’s hoping that’s as far as his interest in poop goes — isn’t
easy, POOP, and badgering you won’t help. Your fi ancé, if he knows what’s good for him, will
hang back, let you set the pace, and thank his lucky fucking stars that he found someone who
is willing to even try and will get there eventually.
3. “I know you’re excited, honey, and it excites me to see you so excited. But dial it back
a bit, okay? Next time I feel like I can give it a try, I will defi nitely let you know. But all of this
pressure is making me feel constipated. And you don’t want that, right?”
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I’m an 18-year-old male. After three years of silence, my ex-girlfriend texted me out of the
blue. She was my fi rst love, and part of my heart still aches for her. I feel like the smart thing
to do is to stop talking to her right now, but my heart says if I keep at it, I might be able to win
her back. Most of her messages sound fl irtatious, but it could just be me being optimistic. She
even said, “I don’t think of you as more than a friend. But I would be open to a relationship if
I started having feelings for you again.” Is this a lost cause? Or do I need to give it more time
and see how it develops?
Love And Memories Enfl amed
Forgive me, LAME, for what I’m about to type.
You’re being used. Your ex-girlfriend sent that out-of-the-blue text because she wanted
to feel wanted. Maybe she got dumped recently, or maybe she’s in the midst of a dry spell, or
maybe she’s just selfi sh and cruel. But all she’s after here — most likely — are the ego boosts
your texts provide. And to keep those boosts coming, LAME, she’s dangling a little false hope
in front of you: She told you the truth so she wouldn’t have to admit to herself that she’s a
manipulative liar (she only thinks of you as a friend) and then tacked on some meaningless,
impossible-to-disprove crap (a relationship might be possible if she starts to have feelings for
you again) to keep you textin’.
You dated her three years ago… when you were 15. You’re not in love with her, LAME,
you’re in love with the way she made you feel. There are other girls out there who can make
you feel that way. Go fi nd one.
I’m a 35-year-old GGG married male with a 33-year-old not-so-GGG wife. We’ve been to-
gether 17 years and married four months. She was a virgin when we met and she’s never been
too sexual a person. I am a very sexual person, but she kept me satisfi ed with oral, dress-up,
sex in different places — things like that. Things really started to fall off sexually around our
10th year together. When I mentioned it, she said that she felt I was never going to marry her,
so why should she give me 100 percent? I enjoy oral and watching women masturbate, and
she wouldn’t do either and blamed it on the marriage thing. Five years later, I gave her the big
wedding she wanted. I actually enjoy being married. Now, here’s my dilemma: She won’t do
anything besides traditional sex — and only when she’s awake enough to actually have sex, and
I always have to initiate. When I mention things like oral or toys or masturbation, she says she
feels uncomfortable doing things like that. If she would have told me this before, my decision
to get married might have been different. I don’t want her to do anything that makes her feel
uncomfortable or degraded. But in my opinion, what I’m asking for is not “kinky,” certainly
when compared to some of the things I could be into.
We’ve had this discussion consistently throughout our short marriage, with no sign of her
even trying. Am I doomed to a bad marriage, or is there something I can do? Because talking
isn’t working. I feel she lied to me to get me to marry her, and now I don’t know what to do. Any
advice is appreciated.
Lots Of Sexual Tension
All your options are bad, LOST.
Stay married, stay faithful, and stew in your own frustration and resentment until you die;
stay married, cheat with cause, and hope you don’t get caught; inform your spouse that you’re
not going to ask her to do things she’s not comfortable with but you’re also not going to ask
for her permission to do those things with other women, and be cast as the villain when she
fi les for divorce; or initiate the divorce yourself, fi nd a new partner, and make sure your new
partner both enjoys sex and enjoys the kinds of sex you do before you marry her. (Hint: If she
likes sex, and likes the stuff you like, she’ll want to do that stuff whether you’re married to her
or not.)
Sorry, LOST, but that’s all I got.
HEY, EVERYBODY: You know how Mormons “baptize” dead people who weren’t Mormons —
including Holocaust victims — because Mormons believe they have a right to choose Mormon-
ism for the deceased? And you know how the Mormon Church says that being gay is a choice?
The same church that doesn’t think you should have a choice about being posthumously
baptized? Well, now you can choose homosexuality for dead Mormons! Just go to www.All-
DeadMormonsAreNowGay.com, enter the name of a deceased Mormon or ask the site to fi nd a
dead Mormon for you, and — presto! — that dead Mormon gets to have a gay afterlife!
HEY, CANADIAN READERS: I’m following @vikileaks30 on Twitter — and you should, too. Really
entertaining stuff!
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
@fakedansavage on Twitter
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EUGENE WEEKLY FEBRUARY 23, 2012 31