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KNOCKED UP
HAPPY LOVE DUDE!
Young, pregnant 20 year old
looking for her first female
encounter. Hot and heavy
encounter. babymakinprin-
cess, 20, g , #106872
I’m in a committed non-monoga-
mous relationship, and am look-
ing to make new friends! I have
led a pretty vanilla life, sexually,
but am looking to expand. Try
me!
bobdobbs,
38,
#106904
KINKY SUB BIMALE
Attractive, outgoing, and open-
minded, bi, white male seeking
HWP couples. somewhat submis-
sive and wantto explore my sub-
missive side more. toys, oral,
porn, glory holes and wantto
explore more. Very open-mind-
ed. Rogue, 45, #106879
RECIPROCAL PLEASUARE
I am in a healthy poly-amours
relationship and I am looking for
women to please. I enjoy giving
as much as receiving. god-
desspleaser27, 27, g ,
#106899
CASUAL, GROUNDED, REAL
32, looking for a casual lover,
(younger?)...prefer a man, maybe
the rt woman. *Not* looking for
*just* a “kinky-fuck.” Expect
boundaries to be respected and
intimacy to evolve naturally.
Celeste, 32, #106915
KINKY SCORPIO SLAVE
A femme fatale by nature, the
scorpio in me will dominate any
weaker human. My desire is to
play with a dominant with balls
big enough to break me down.
NaughtyScorpio,
44,
#106891
CLIT PLAY
i want to have the mind blowing
ultimate fantasy lived out, and
there are alot to be lived i hope
there is time for it all...
NaughtyNice, 47, g ,
#106898
MRSHY PLUS IMAGINATION
I would like to meet someone
one on one discreetely,on nue-
tral ground without the distra-
tions of the daily grind. That way
I can get to know you, and your
desires!!! 14692012, 45,
#106894
IM NEW HERE.
looking for friends text buddys
or more if you want to know
more just ask. tuzo2242, 26,
g , #106876
THICK,LUSCIOUS BROWNIE
Im shy at first with a little confi-
dence hidden in me. Im tryin to
get myself out there and brake
my walls.. well message me if ya
wanna know more. Brown_
eyes, 19, ☎, g , #106883
GREAT LICKER
LOOKING FOR SECRET
HORNY AS HELL
A GOOD FUCK
Never been with a women but
looking to change that.
jenna_m, 19, #106856
I LIKE TO MAKE FEMALES CUM
HARD AND IM GOOD AT IT.
tex727, 38, #106901
BOTH BI CPL
we r a mid & late 40’s both bi m/f
cpl, he is a bottom & she is a BBW
& we want to find other bi’s to
teach us. Mobicpl65559, 51,
g , #106877
CUM PLAY NOW
Hello im a 42 yr old male thats
ready to try some new things.
leppro, 43, g , #106908
looking for an erotic adventure.
savage, 21, #106907
LOOKING FOR FUN
HWP couple looking for fun lov-
ing friends to experiment with,
have fun with and explore. Let’s
get acquainted, over a few drinks
and see if the chemistry is right.
Cheers! yndrmtn, 45,
#106914
LOVER4CANHANDLE
I’m into it all that is crazy and
wild. Looking for that special
women or couple that can show
me the swinging life and be my
teacher. Extremeley open mind-
ed.
izzyta1987,
24,
#106887
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#106865
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WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
Have boyfriend. Several months. Love sex. First time we sixty-nine, I notice he has a little
turtlehead sticking out. You get me? Second time, he has bits of toilet paper stuck in that area.
CAN I ADDRESS THIS? And how do I do it without giving him a permanently flaccid penis? I love
this man to pieces and know this is a humiliating topic. Please help!
Mired In The Mud
Got you. Wish didn’t. But did.
If you don’t have the nerve to speak up when someone is grinding shitbuds and dingleberries
in the vicinity of your nostrils, MITM, I’m not sure there’s anything I can say that’s gonna help.
But for what it’s worth …
YES, YOU ADDRESS IT! IMMEDIATELY!
When someone pushes your face into a dirty asscrack — or allows you to place your face in
the general vicinity of a dirty asscrack — you say something along the lines of “What the fuck,
dude, go take a dump and jump in the shower! Christ!” His ego, to say nothing of his future
erections, should be your least concern at a moment like that. So you say it without hesitation,
without concern for his feelings, and you say it as you leap out of bed and reach for your shirt,
pants, car keys, and phone. You don’t just lie there pretending that his buttrasta isn’t dangling
over your nose. Even if he’s never able to get another erection with you, MITM, he’ll know to
spot-check for cleanliness — are there no washcloths in Gilead? — before he crawls on top of
anyone else.
I’m a 23-year-old gay guy. I’ve been talking to a nice guy who will possibly become my first
boyfriend. The little quibble I’m having is … I’m a virgin. It’s not that big a deal to me — it just
hasn’t happened yet — but I was wondering if I should mention it to this guy. He made an aside
about virginity (unprompted by me) during one of our chats: “No, I’m not a virgin, that’s nothing
that you should worry about with me.” That was probably my opportunity to tell him, but I didn’t.
Should I have told him? What if I tell him during sex? Could that make it hot?
Thank you for what you do. I found the courage to come out because of you.
Ready And Willing
If you found the courage to come out to family and friends about being gay — which you
found inside yourself, RAW, but thanks for the nice compliment — you can come out to this boy
about being a virgin.
Don’t tell him during sex, RAW, and don’t tell him in a way that makes this relevant infor-
mation about your sexual history — you don’t have one — seem like a character flaw, a cancer
diagnosis, or a request for an open marriage six years after you began an adulterous affair with
a congressional staffer. You’re just a 23-year-old virgin, RAW, there’s nothing wrong with you; it’s
not like you’re one of Elizabeth Santorum’s idiotic gay friends or a cast member of The A-List:
Dallas. The next time you see this boy, initiate a casual, low-stakes, getting-to-know-you make-
out session at a time when you can’t transition to full-on, no-holes-barred gay sex. Relax, kiss
the boy, be chill. Then pause and inform him that you’re not very sexually experienced — in fact,
you’ve never been with anyone. Reassure him that you’re not a duckling — you’re not going to
imprint on the first dick you see — but that you wanted him to know.
How are you supposed to react to the discovery — entirely accidental — that your youngest
brother has a “femdom” relationship with his wife? I stumbled over my brother’s “anonymous”
sex blog. It goes into detail about the “domestic discipline” she subjects him to: humiliation,
spanking, “ruined orgasms” (whatever that is!), cuckolding. There are no names, but there
are pictures. Their faces are blurred out, but I recognize their living room, their bedroom, the
necklace my sister-in-law wears, my brother’s chin and hair. If I recognized them, other family
members might. What do I say?
Biggest Big Bro
Besides “Hey, bro, I’m kinky, too!”? (You “stumbled over” your brother’s kinky sex blog?
How’d that happen? Did he leave it sitting in your driveway?) If you can’t bring yourself to say
that, BBB, you say nothing and trust that more-distant, less-kinky family members are unlikely
to “stumble over” your brother’s anonymous femdom blog anytime soon. And even if they do,
they’re probably not familiar enough with your brother and sister-in-law’s home, jewelry, chins,
etc., to recognize him.
Congrats, Dan. It looks like you’ve got your first high-profile “monogamish” public figure:
Newt Gingrich. You must be so proud.
Savage Can’t Understand Monogamy
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For anyone who spent last week under a rock: Newt Gingrich, brave defender of traditional
marriage, was still married to his second wife — and still fucking the consecrated host out of his
“devout Catholic” mistress — when he asked his second wife to agree to an open marriage. Newt
had been fucking Callista, his devoutly Catholic mistress, for six years when he made the big ask.
Newt’s second wife wouldn’t agree to an open marriage, according to Newt’s second wife, which
is how she became Newt’s second ex-wife and Newt’s mistress — the devoutly Catholic Callista —
became Newt’s third wife.
That’s not monogamish, SCUM. That’s CPOSish. And lumping honest nonmonogamists —
people who don’t lie or cheat — in with the likes of the Gingriches and Schwarzeneggers of the
world, which whiny and insecure monogamists (who are not to be confused with reasonable and
secure monogamists) are always doing, is simply unfair. Newt, like Arnold before him, didn’t suc-
ceed at nonmonogamy, he failed at monogamy.
Zooming out for a moment: The Gingrich campaign has presented the holesome story of
Newt and Callista’s courtship as a redemption narrative: Newt is a better man today thanks to
Callista, he’s better suited to be president thanks to Callista, and he’s better prepared to defend
traditional marriage thanks to Callista. She’s been described as a “devout Catholic” in every
profile written about her — so devout that her love brought Newt to the one, holy, Catholic,
apostolic, and ever-more-rabidly anti-gay church. So it seems to me that it’s fair to ask if Callista
knew in advance that Newt was proposing an open marriage to his then-wife and approved of
the arrangement. (It might be more accurate to say that Newt informed his second wife that
she was already in an open marriage and asked if she wanted to remain in it.) Did Callista know
about Newt’s open marriage proposal? Did Newt bounce the idea off his devoutly Catholic mis-
tress first? Maybe right after he finished bouncing himself off his devoutly Catholic mistress?
Would the devout Catholic still be Newt’s mistress today if the second Mrs. Gingrich had
agreed to remain in the marriage that Newt had already opened?
This news alters the redemption narrative that the Gingrich camp set before the voters. So
questioning Callista about the open marriage proposal — what did the mistress know and when
did she know it? — seems like an entirely legit line of inquiry to me.
Callista Gingrich, like her vile husband, doesn’t believe that gays and lesbians should be
equal under the law because, as a good Catholic, she believes that homosexuality is a sin and
that homosexuals should remain celibate. Well, the Catholic Church considers adultery, divorce,
and birth control sinful, too. Someone in the liberal media really ought to ask Callista to explain
why her faith should place limits on my sexual expression but not her own.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
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EUGENE WEEKLY JANUARY 26, 2012 27