THU FRI SAT SUN MON TUES WED THU
THE TREE OF LIFE
BY MOLLY TEMPLETON
C
I
N
E
M
A
S
for July 7 - July 14
A
R
T
5:00
8:00
2:00
5:00
8:00
5:00
8:00
2:00
5:00
8:00
5:00
8:00
5:00
8:00
5:00
8:00
5:00
8:00
CINEMA PACIFIC
FILMMAKER
DIALOGUES
presents
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
4:45
7:00
9:15
492 East 13 th
4:45
7:00
9:15
follow us!
686-2458
July 14
July 13
July 12
July 11
July 10
July 9
July 8
July 7
movies
ENDS TONIGHT!
2:25
SAINT
4:45
4:45
4:45
4:45
MISBEHAVIN’:
7:00
7:00
7:00
7:00
THE
WAVY
9:15
9:15
9:15
9:15
GRAVY MOVIE
Coming soon:
Q&A with
Wavy Gravy
HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN THE ROOM
& Director
Michelle Esrick
CONAN O’BRIEN CAN’T STOP IN A BETTER WORLD
6:00
POETRY INCENDIES
8:30
2:25
4:45
7:00
9:15
*Adults—$7*Students w/ID—$6*Seniors—$5*Matinees—$5*Lates—$5*Miser Mondays—$3*
bijou-cinemas.com
TIX $2 Tix 21 & FOOD
$5 Sun & Tues ovER MENU
762-1700 | 180 E. 5TH AVE
Asian Food
Market
davidminortheater.com
THURS JULY 7 – WED JULY 13
THUR
Make It Stop
Largest Selection of
Asian Groceries
Only you can stop audience abuse. By not going
to this movie.
SUCKER
PUNCH
8:20
HALL PASS
10:15
A FARLEY BROS FILM
WoodÀ eld Station
SHOPPING CENTER
CEDAR
RAPIDS
8:20
TRUE GRIT
6:15
City
2
City
S H U T T L E
59
X
PD
EUG to ay
1-w
Reserve Now! 541-758-8001
www.city2cityshuttle.com
WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
5
Sunrise
www.sunriseasianfood.com
M-Th 9am-7pm•F 9am-8pm•Sa 9am-7pm•Su 10am-6pm
70 W. 29th Ave. Eugene • 541-343-3295
BAD TEACHER (DIGITAL) R
10:25AM 12:40,3:00,5:10,7:25,9:40
PIRATES OF THE
CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER
TIDES (3D) PG-13
SPECIAL EVENT PRICING: $3.00
UPCHARGE ALL TICKETS
1:00,7:20
PIRATES OF THE
CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER
TIDES (DIGITAL) PG-13
4:15,10:30
THE ZOOKEEPER (DIGITAL) PG
12:00,1:15,2:30,3:45,5:00,6:15,7:3
0, 8:45,10:00
MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS
(DIGITAL) PG
12:20,2:50,5:20,7:50,10:20
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF
THE MOON (DIGITAL) PG-13
1:10,3:10,4:30,7:50,9:50
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
(DIGITAL) PG-13
12:30,3:45,7:00,10:15
SUPER 8 (DIGITAL) PG-13
10:45AM 1:35,4:25,7:15,10:05
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF
THE MOON (3D) PG-13
SPECIAL EVENT PRICING: $3.00
UPCHARGE ALL TICKETS
10:30AM 11:50AM 12:30,1:50,3:50,
5:10,6:30,7:10,8:30,10:30
CARS 2 (3D) G
10:30AM 1:20,4:10,7:00,9:50
CARS 2 (DIGITAL) G
11:55AM 2:45,5:35,8:25
MONTE CARLO (DIGITAL) PG
11:55AM 2:30,5:05,7:40,10:15
HORRIBLE BOSSES
(DIGITAL) R
12:25,2:55,5:25,7:55,10:25
LARRY CROWNE (DIGITAL)
PG-13
12:30,2:55,5:20,7:45,10:10
GREEN LANTERN (3D) PG-13
SPECIAL EVENT PRICING: $3.00
UPCHARGE ALL TICKETS
2:05,7:35
GREEN LANTERN (DIGITAL)
PG-13
11:20AM 4:50,10:20
FAST FIVE PG-13
RIO (3D) G
SPECIAL EVENT PRICING: $2.00
UPCHARGE ALL TICKETS
11:50, 1:40, 3:10, 6:20, 7:25, 9:15
11:45, 2:20, 4:40, 7:00, 9:30
INSIDIOUS PG-13
11:35, 2:05, 4:45, 7:10, 9:40
SOMETHING BORROWED
PG-13
THE LINCOLN LAWYER R
11:20, 1:55, 4:30, 7:15, 9:50
11:10, 1:50, 4:35, 7:30,10:10
THOR PG-13
PRIEST PG-13
12:15, 3:05, 5:45, 8:25
11:00, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:25
THOR (3D) PG-13
SPECIAL EVENT PRICING: $2.00
UPCHARGE ALL TICKETS
SOUL SURFER PG
11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45
11:25, 2:10, 4:50
YOUR HIGHNESS R
RIO G
7:20, 9:55
11:40, 2:00, 4:10, 7:35,10:00
12:25, 3:15, 5:40, 8:15
let us do the driving
29TH AVENUE
FEATURING “TEXT-A-BEER”
RANGO PG
Service to and from PDX
Serving Eugene, Albany & Salem
BACK TO
THE FUTURE
6:15
“NO LONGER SNEAKING BEER INTO THE MOVIES SINCE 2008”
1:30, 4:55,10:15
$
We carry groceries from Holland,
India, Pakistan and Polynesia
Sushi & Asian deli take-out
CEDAR RAPIDS R
fl ying out of pdx?
THE
ADJUSTMENT
BUREAU
10:15
OAK STREET
I
t’s possible that what I took away
from Transformers: Totally Irrelevant
Subtitle wasn’t exactly what director
Michael Bay intended. I suspect I was
supposed to have a response that went
something along the lines of, “FUCK
YEAH, ROBOTS! And America! Man,
that blonde chick was hot.”
What I thought about instead was
how much I loathed Sam Witwicky (Shia
LaBeouf). Witwicky acts as a wholly
unnecessary rebuttal to all those earnest,
well-intentioned heroes who have things
like strength of character, a do-gooder’s
heart, a romantic streak and an interest
in generally doing the right thing. Fuck
that nonsense, man! Here’s a real hero:
An entitled chucklehead who complains a
lot about how he wants to “matter” again
because, dude, he saved the world.
Witwicky — who I am genuinely
surprised is never referred to within the
fi lm as “Twatlicky,” given that the Bay
universe is the kind of place where you
goad a robot into kicking another robot’s
ass by suggesting he might be the opposing
robot’s “bitch” — poor, put-upon sod
that he is, can’t get a meaningful job.
His girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-
Whiteley), to whom we are introduced,
shall we say, backwards, lets him live in
her palace of an apartment and calls him
her hero for reasons never suffi ciently
explained, seeing as Sam has no
discernible talents or skills. Carly, on the
other hand, is employed and appears fairly
self-suffi cient, so the movie works hard
to remind us that she is, in fact, just a hot
collectible that Sam had better hold onto.
I’m honestly not sure what purpose
anyone serves in this fi lm, except to play a
type (Josh Duhamel is especially good as
Effective Military Fellow) or chew scenery
(as done with gusto by the Johns: Malkovich
and Turturro). Who needs asshat characters
when you have GIANT ROBOTS? The
stakes are ostensibly high — just the end
of the world, man, no bigs — but after 30
tolerable minutes of backstory regarding
the secrets of the moon landing, the fi lm
dissolves into incoherent, unengaging
nonsense. Bay has zero sense of physical
logic; shit blows up, robots fi ght and are
impossible or easy to kill depending on what
the scene requires, Carly gets kidnapped so
Sam can prove his manliness by rescuing
her, and the number of Decepticons on or
near Earth is so variable that I’m not sure
the Decepticon leaders could tell you the
strength of their army.
And we’re supposed to eat this up
with a spoon and beg for more. Look, I
like movies in which things blow up real
good, but that doesn’t mean I — or you
— ought to tolerate fi lms that leave you
feeling as if the director has asked you to
pay for the privilege of being fed a series
of logos dotted with meaningless dialogue
while he laughs at you as he gets inducted
into some billionaire’s club. Action movies
can be smart and fun and leave you feeling
like you could totally save the world with
your robot buddies. That’s what they’re
for. But uninspiring, insipid movies like
Transformers rake in the dough, and there’s
always someone willing to make the least
creative effort for the largest fi nancial gain.
The obnoxious and ungrateful shall inherit
the Autobots, the power and the cash.
Am I talking about Michael Bay or Sam
Witwicky? Honestly, does it matter? ew
WILLAMETTE STREET
TRANSFORMERS:
DARK
OF
THE
MOON: Directed by Michael Bay. Written by
Ehren Kruger. Starring Shia LaBeouf, Rosie
Huntington-Whiteley, Frances McDormand,
John Turturro, Josh Duhamel, Patrick
Dempsey, John Malkovich and Alan Tudyk.
About as long as three episodes of Game of
Thrones. PG-13 for robot porn. I mean, for an
ass, and occasional swearing. 1 1 1 1 1
Seaweed, rice, noodles, frozen
products, deli, snacks, drinks,
sauces, spices, produce,
housewares, and more.
Adv. Tix on Sale HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY
HALLOWS 2
Adv. Tix on Sale CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) - ID REQ'D
Fri. - Sun.(1145 1215 220 250) 440 510 730 800 1000 1030
THE ZOOKEEPER (PG)
Fri. - Sun.(1105 200) 430 700 930
THE ZOOKEEPER (PG)
Fri. - Sun.(1135) 400 630 900
IMAX: TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON 3D (PG-13)
★
Fri. - Sun.355 PM 715 PM 1035 PM
IMAX: CARS 2 3D (G) ★
Fri. - Sun.1100 AM 130 PM
MONTE CARLO (PG)
Fri. - Sun.(1205 245) 635 920
LARRY CROWNE (PG-13) Fri. - Sun.(1120 155) 420 705 935
OC: TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (PG-13) ★
Fri.(1110 AM) 625 PM
Sat.(230 PM) 945 PM
Sun.(1110 AM) 945 PM
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF IN REALD 3D- EVENT
PRICING (PG-13) ★
Fri.(1140 1210 230) 425 645 745 945
Sat.(1110 1210 300) 425 625 745 1005
Sun.(1140 1210 230) 425 625 745 1005
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (PG-13) ★
Fri.(300 PM) 1005 PM
Sat.(1140 AM) 645 PM
Sun.(300 PM) 645 PM
CARS 2 (G)
Fri. - Sun.(1200 PM) 415 PM
CARS 2 IN REALD 3D - EVENT PRICING (G) ★
Fri. - Sun.445 PM 955 PM
BAD TEACHER (R) - ID REQ'D
Fri. - Sun.(1150 240) 500 755 1020
CARS 2 (G)
Fri. - Sun.(1130 AM 205 PM) 720 PM
SUPER 8 (PG-13)
Fri. - Sun.(1125 215) 450 725 1015
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (PG-13)
Fri. - Sun.650 PM 950 PM
BRIDESMAIDS (R) - ID REQ'D Fri. - Sun.(140) 435 735 1025
Adv. Tix on Sale HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY
HALLOWS 2
HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) - ID REQ'D
Fri. - Sun.(110) 430 740 1020
THE ZOOKEEPER (PG)
Fri. - Sun.(1240) 420 710 940
MONTE CARLO (PG)
Fri. - Sun.(1250 330) 720 950
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (PG-13) ★
Fri. - Sun.(1200 320) 640 1000
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF IN REALD 3D- EVENT
PRICING (PG-13) ★
Fri. - Sun.(1230 345) 700 1015
BAD TEACHER (R) - ID REQ'D Fri. - Sun.(100) 415 730 1030
CARS 2 (G)
Fri. - Sun.400 PM 930 PM
CARS 2 IN REALD 3D - EVENT PRICING (G) ★
Fri. - Sun.(1215 PM) 650 PM
Summer Movie Express - Tues & Wed. 10 am
HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) - ID REQ'D
Fri. - Sun.(100 130) 400 430 730 1005
CARS 2 (G)
Fri. - Sun.(1245 345) 645 915
SUPER 8 (PG-13)
Fri. - Sun.(145) 445 745 1020
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (PG-13)
Fri. - Sun.700 PM 955 PM
Times For 07/08 - 07/10 © 2011
EUGENE WEEKLY JULY 7, 2011 23