a Code 3 call for assistance and Stuart-Pope says, “It
wasn’t minutes — they (EPD) were there in seconds. They
swooped in from everywhere, fast.”
The team tells other rugged stories as they cruise the
street, scanning the pavement for those in need. These tales
stiffen the hairs on your arm, like the time Alvarez and
CAHOOTS worker Matt Eads were dispatched to an alley
to remove a lone trash bag stuffed with bloody plucked
bird feathers, surrounded by and full of dirty syringes. Or
repetitive incidents involving a homeless man who feels
the compulsory need to masturbate openly while waving to
passing drivers at busy intersections.
There’s the call to help a mentally ill man who believes
the squirrels of Eugene are telepathically manipulating
him for the purposes of world domination, or the guy
who masochistically hacks at his arm with a machete
and then passes out in random parking lots, or the neo-
Nazi who (after being rousted from an unconscious state
by CAHOOTS team member Brenton Gicker) physically
attacked the CAHOOTS van. Or the client Alvarez tackled
in order to prevent him from taking a swan dive off a
local overpass. There are many other stories too, some
so disturbing that I cannot morally reconcile telling you.
CAHOOTS employees have seen their share of hard work.
DURING THE PAST YEAR
55%
of CAHOOTS client contacts have
been with homeless persons
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Back in the van, the team heads to White Bird. Alvarez
says he wants to show me something. We hop out and step
into the alley beside the clinic’s main building. Stuart-Pope
stays in the van, carefully eyeing a group of men standing
outside, one of whom recently offered to trade her shift
partner (Alvarez) a tall-boy of Budweiser for her, um,
affection. Stuart-Pope is an attractive young woman. She
says that sort of stuff happens all the time.
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THIS AD SPACE
30%
have dealt with mental
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MATT EADS
PHOTO BY ROB SYDOR • DIGITALLATTE.COM
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EUGENE WEEKLY JUNE 30, 2011
13