living out
BY SALLY SHEKLOW
Forever Hold
Your Peace
The big bogus bridge
to nowhere
I
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f anyone present has any reason why
these two women should not be joined in
matrimony speak now.
Nobody?
Amazing!
The bad news is that while 53 percent of Americans now support
legalizing marriage for gay and lesbian couples, 44 percent remain uber-
opposed. I’m not talking about YOU, of course. You’re cool and you get it,
and I thank you sincerely.
Meanwhile, in all but six U.S. states, it’s still illegal for two men or two
women to wed. In Indiana, for example, they’re pursuing a constitutional
ban, even though it’s already against the law there, so they can install
one more padlock on equality’s door. Can’t be too safe when it comes to
protecting us from … what was it again?
Oh, right. “Redefi ning traditional marriage.” Which defi nition and which
tradition, do they mean, exactly? The Biblical tradition of a man marrying
multiple wives? Keeping concubines? Owning slaves? Laws prohibiting
interracial marriage? Or denying that rape can occur within a marriage?
Requiring a wife to obtain her husband’s written permission to borrow
money? Thank God(dess) we’ve evolved. The defi nition of marriage has
always been evolving. It’s traditional for our traditions to evolve.
The 44 percenters are irrational, but they have their reasons. Let me
count the ways.
We must exclude lesbian couples from marriage because — and you’ll
remember this from Anita Bryant’s “Save Our Children” campaign — They are
out to get our kids! (Same old scare tactic that worked wonders for the Klan,
the Nazis, and the Spanish Inquisitors — talk about reuse-repurpose-recycle!)
Naturally, they’re not talking about saving children who already have two
moms or two dads. Truth is — and study upon study backs this up — on
average, offspring of married parents tend to be healthier, better adjusted,
and more secure than offspring of non-marrieds, whether the parents are
gay or straight. No lie. Wanna save the children? Let their parents marry.
Besides, heterosexual couples aren’t required to reproduce to qualify for a
marriage license. Lots of married people don’t have kids. Basing the freedom
to marry on how it might affect children is one big bogus bridge to nowhere.
Even so, by the way, studies also show that children with two dads or two
moms actually exhibit better problem-solving skills, more compassion,
and greater acceptance of differences than children of straight parents.
Not that anyone’s advocating only same-sex parents be allowed to have
kids. I’m just sayin’.
The one-man/ one-woman-only thugs claim that gay and lesbian
weddings somehow would take away religious freedom. Please. The whole
idea is to ensure everyone’s freedom. Religions get to choose which couples
they marry within their churches, mosques, synagogues, temples, covens,
faerie circles or wherever. No law would change that. Only faiths supporting
marriages for gay and lesbian couples will perform them. The rest are free to
practice their narrow-minded, backward, chauvinistic, misogynistic, spiritual
terrorism to their shriveled hardened heart’s content.
Not that I’m biased.
So, what does that leave. Anything?
I mean it. If anybody has one single solitary valid reason for denying
me and my mate of 23 years — or any loving couple — the freedom to
marry, I’d like to hear it.
Well?
I’m waiting …
Award-winning writer, Sally Sheklow’s legal Canadian marriage is not recognized by the U.S. government
or the state of Oregon.
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6 APRIL 21, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY
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