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SEEKING FUN FEMALE
A CUNNILINGUS GENIUS
LIKE EM BIG
I am happily married, but need a
girlfriend to cuddle, send flowers
and cards Im laid back really just
looking for an ltr. I am confident
in myself. friendlybigurl, 31,
g , #105250
Lived in Eugene my whole life,
I’m nice, have a good sense of
humor, and I’m looking for a fun
sexy girl. BobaFett, 20, g ,
#106168
FREAKY SCORPIO
In a relationship want fun sex on
the side. Open to anything minus
pain. Im fit & sexy. I am looking
for a hot woman, STD free is a
must! takenbutavailable,
22, #106154
I have not done all checked in
boxes, just checked ones like.I
biggest turn ons are, bicurious/
bisexual men, crossdressers,
love woman, and want new
things!!! help me explor my fata-
sys!!!
salthedon,
33,
#106142
Married bi-curious seeking a dis-
creet one on one encounter. I am
outgoing and a kick to be with
for a beer or a glass of wine.
witchy6, 47, g , #106158
I like whips, chains, and gags. I’m
dominant but looking for domi-
nation. I’m insatiable, sadistic,
yet happy and caring. I’m a pas-
sionate lover with a very dirty
open mind. Sunshine05, 19,
g , #106104
LUSTY, LUCIOUS, LOVELY
MAGICALSTUD
OUTGOING BI-CURIOUS 4U
Looking for someone to get me
over my excess baggage. Slick,
31, ☎, #106057
THINK U CAN HANDLE ME DEN
WEN FINNA SEE!! magic27, 19,
g , #106094
CRAFYGIRL
ATTENTION CHICKS
I’m in a committed non-monoga-
mous partnership. Curious...
CraftyGirl, 27, ☎, g ,
#105791
Free Mammograms,and cavity
checks, for chicks only!! king-
cool, 75, #105959
LOOSE-WOMAN WITH QUES-
TIONABLE-MORALS
just moved back to engene and
don’t know where to start. look-
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and more. i’m 29, with long
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#104676
I am “America” looking for
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BUCK, 20, #105539
BIGBOOBS, SEXY, FUN
DOMINATEME
I am down for new experiences
with a guy or girl, newly single
and looking for fun. part-
g ,
timelover,
22,
#105422
DARK& HANDSOME
Just looking for some NSA fun
hit me up and we’ll go from
there. Andrew1234, 20,
#106153
LOOKING FOR
COMPANIONSHIP.
Would like to meet Females for
some friendly companionship
and some fondling frienship.I
also like seeing females that like
wearing nylonor pantyhose also
like females in sexy dresses,sexy
outfits. Skippy, 49, #106146
I’m looking for someone who
wants to play and have a good
time. I’m tired of attachments
and would like a friend of the
same mindset. Shinobi, 31,
#106122
SEX POSITIVE NYMPHO
Impeccable hygiene is a must.
Intelligence preferred. Be sexu-
ally open, honest, and mature.
Into transvestites, groups, would
love to try a gang bang, into new
experiences. Sex positive, no
shame. I_want_it_all, 30,
#105142
TIME TO PLAY!
Looking for some fun, we’ll take
it from there. I will try anything
twice.
herbman,
30,
#106114
HANDSOME OLD SENSUALIST
looking for a nice attractive,
slender young beauty or a stable
couple to play with. Disease free.
Not a freak. Let’s just have us
some pink, naked, squishy fun! :).
pure, 49, g , #101299
ORALLY BI-GUY
Attractive hwp male seeking
stable long term couple for more
than one night. Interested in
developing a relationship out of
the bedroom. Friends first.
snowball, 45, #104989
CURIOUS NICE GUY
AZ PHENOMENAL FACIAL
dirty little school slut trapped in
hairy man suit. can take any size,
any load. i like older men who
take 3 dicks on a long drive in
their van. AZgoodman, 26,
#106143
HOT4U
Straight female seeking young
lesbians to teach me. I’ll be the
submissive one. I can host. I live
with my gay brother undergoing
MTF changeover who supports
me 100%. SassyGirl4U, 37,
g , #106134
CURIOUS
Bi-curious male, clean, fit, seeks
beautiful boy for first time
encounter. I want to adore your
smooth, lean body. A lot to ask
for? Of course. maxd, 40, g ,
#103934
I’ve been feeling bored since my
last relationship and felt it’d be
fun to go try something com-
pletely new. Email if you want to
break someone into your favor-
ite thing. EtCetera, 20, g ,
#104804
I WANT PLEASURE
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. DESIRE, 27,
g , #101108
HANDSOME DAD SPANKS
Looking for a young man in need
of an over the knee, bare bot-
tomed spanking. Just like dad
used to give you. Slim and young
preferred. All considered. firm-
papa, 53, g , #106127
THROBN4U
Always horny and very hard
male. I want couples and females
to get kinky together.
Throbert46,
46,
☎,
#106124
SAMURAISEXMACHINE
UNPREDICTABLE HUNGRY-
STRIPER PROWLING
My honey-pot is low and needs
something sticky. Submissive at
times, but this cowgirl can ride.
Preferably a bucking bronco ;-).
I’m a saucy whench boys, I need
spanking. AlainaFuck, 21,
#105484
FUN WITH MISTRESS?
CURIOUSFOREXPLORATION
TIME TO LIVE
looking for an older man wanting
a sexy boy to play nice with.
funside86, 24, #105986
Looking for anything, friend, fuck
buddy, snuggle buddy. letss-
nuggle, 21, g , #106129
PASSIONATE LOVE HOLES
Tired of wet Gloomy Oregon Cum
Live in Sunny Arizona, Ex Eugene
BI Cpl, He 50”s She 40”s RVers
Looking for Top BI M 50-65 to
Live w/Us. firecrotch, 40, g ,
#106172
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Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
My wife and I click on just about every level — parenting, money, religion, politics, etc. — except
for sex. After our last child was born, my advances were increasingly rejected. In an attempt to
avoid pressuring her, I stopped initiating. One week passed, nothing. A month passed, nothing. A
YEAR passed, nothing. Depression and anger set in. But I was committed to being the “perfect
husband,” so I did not pressure her, hoping her libido would return. It didn’t. Our “happy” life
continued, and if you were a friend or neighbor, you’d have no idea this was going on. After two
years, I fi nally lost it and confronted her. I expected that an open dialogue would improve the
situation, but a month passed and she never brought it back up.
She’s a stay-at-home parent, so she does most of the shopping, laundry, etc., but I contribute
to the housework. We live in a large house, so we also have house cleaners and landscapers. Ad-
ditionally, our kids are respectful and have been taught to pick up after themselves. The bottom
line is that I’ve removed all of the obstacles I can think of.
I realize that I’m lucky to be happy and fulfi lled in just about every area of my life, but I’ve
become fi dgety, short-tempered, and hypersensitive. I do not want to have an affair and I do not
want a divorce. I love her and our children, but I’m at a loss as to what to do. Knowing there are
women out there in the world who actually enjoy sex is devastating (it kills me to listen to you
fi eld a call from a sexually confi dent woman on your podcast). I am mourning the loss of intimacy
and connection with another person.
Please Advise Troubled Husband
I’ll get to you in a minute, PATH, but fi rst …
MTV, a cable television channel that has been broadcasting music videos in a continuous
loop since the summer of 1981, has elected to speed the moral collapse of the United States by
putting me on television. My upcoming sex-advice program is tentatively titled Savage U, and it
represents MTV’s fi rst foray into non-music-video programming. (My preferred title for the show
— Dan Savage’s Alaska — was rejected by the program’s co–executive producer, Piper Palin.) This
news has upset not only my son, who has been in the MTV stage of his development for roughly
three years, but also Maggie Gallagher, the head of the National Organization for Marriage, who
has been stuck in the raving-bigot stage of her development for nearly three decades.
“Renowned sex columnist Dan Savage, who is an openly gay man,” Gallagher wrote on her
blog, “will be taking his popular sex and relationship advice column to MTV in a show appropri-
ately called ‘Savage U’ where he intends to educate your college student about the importance
of honesty over just about anything else, including fi delity.”
Gallagher, who once had a child out of wedlock, speaks for the fi delity-over-anything-else
crowd (fi delity over honesty, reality, statistics, biology, ability, etc.). Now, some people are
capable of abstaining before marriage and being faithful to one partner for life — some people,
but not Maggie — but these people represent a tiny minority of sexually active adults. And while
those who make this aberrant lifestyle choice should not be discriminated against, the rest of
us — the majority of sexually active adults — should be free to engage in grown-up conversations
about sex and desire and the more reality-friendly ways in which we defi ne fi delity without being
shouted down by the monogamously correct.
I’d like to address Gallagher’s two main objections to Savage U in some detail:
“Savage, for all his experience, does not know what women are like,” says Gallagher.
I may not know what women taste like — I’ve never gone down on one — but I do know what
women are like. My mother was a woman, my sister is a woman, my favorite bartender is a
woman, my fi rst sex partners were women, and many of my friends, neighbors, and coworkers
are women. And as someone who is attracted to men and is in a long-term relationship with a
man, I know what straight women have to put up with.
Ironically, Gallagher is a practicing Catholic who cites her faith as a reason for her opposi-
tion to same-sex marriage. But not knowing what women taste like has never stopped the pope
from offering his unsolicited advice to women — no birth control, no abortions, no oral, no anal,
no handjobs — and it seems a little hypocritical of Gallagher to suggest that I’m not qualifi ed to
offer advice to women, since I don’t fuck ’em, without fi rst telling that old fag in Rome to STFU
already.
“The possibility of taming one’s sexual desire for the sake of another, or of a vow, is not in
the Savage moral imagination,” says Gallagher. “Libido will have out, and honesty about that is
the best policy.”
The possibility of taming one’s sexual desire for the sake of another most defi nitely exists
within the Savage moral imagination. I frequently discuss the “price of admission,” that is, the
personal sacrifi ces, large and small, that make long-term relationships possible. For some, the
price of admission — what it costs to ride a particular ride — includes “taming one’s sexual desire
for the sake of another.” If anal sex is something you enjoy but you’re in love with someone who
doesn’t do anal, going without anal is the price of admission. If you’re not into monogamy but
you’re in love with someone who insists on it, then monogamy is the price of admission.
Yes, libido will have out — but “libido will have out” doesn’t translate into “Dan ‘Doesn’t Fuck
Women’ Savage says anything and everything goes.” Two people in a long-term, committed
relationship should be open and honest with each other about their sexual interests, turn-ons,
drives, etc., because, yes, libido will have out. Meaning sexual compatibility and sexual satisfac-
tion have a huge impact on the health of our relationships and marriages, Maggie, particularly
if your spouse is your sole source of sexual satisfaction and release. People who can be open
and honest with their partners — whether the relationship is monogamous or not — are likelier to
have their needs met and likelier to meet their partners’ needs. And when needs are met, people
are less likely to cheat and more likely to stay married.
Openness and honesty don’t automatically translate into everyone gets everything everyone
wants. Not all needs can be met. But sometimes just having the sacrifi ces we’ve made for the
good of our marriages acknowledged — getting a receipt after paying the price of admission — is
good enough. Getting some credit for going without anal, along with the green light to jerk off to
anal porn now and then, can make going without anal easier. Indeed, it can make going without
anal virtuous, something that speaks well of the going-without-anal partner’s character and
priorities.
But there are times when monogamy — its pressures, its discontents, its unquestioned ac-
ceptance — can destroy an otherwise decent marriage.
Take PATH’s marriage. If his wife doesn’t come around — if her libido doesn’t kick back into
gear after mental or medical intervention — this couple is surely headed for divorce. PATH is
not only feeling depressed and resentful, he’s also contemplating an affair (even if he’s in the
dismiss-that-idea stage). Sooner or later, he’s going to cheat or walk. But this marriage, a mar-
riage that works on every other level (“parenting, money, religion, politics, etc.”), could be saved
if Mr. and Mrs. PATH were encouraged to openly and honestly discuss their sexual needs and
their sexual disconnect. If Mrs. PATH is done with sex — for now, perhaps forever — Mr. and Mrs.
PATH should be encouraged to come to a reasonable, mutually agreeable accommodation, one
that allows for Mr. PATH to get his needs met elsewhere if that’s what he needs to stay sane and
stay married.
I’m not sure what to call someone who places a higher value on preserving monogamy within
a particular marriage over preserving that marriage itself, Maggie, but I wouldn’t call that person
a defender of marriage.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
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EUGENE WEEKLY APRIL 14, 2011 39