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SEXY BUSTY BABE
Needing someone to show me
the ropes. Im not submissive just
new to this. littleone, 20,
#103646
CRAFYGIRL
AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL
WANTED FWB
I’m in a committed non-monoga-
mous partnership. Curious...
CraftyGirl, 27, ☎, g ,
#105791
like to meet a woman who can
keep up with me in the sack! One
who likes to keep her eyes open,
and willing to explore and share
your
s ex u a l i t y !
GreyboyAllstar, 59, g ,
#105893
i am a 32 yr old male who knows
what i like. i have not had any
complaints about my tongue. i
am attracted 2 voluptuous
women. howlman, 32,
#105891
DISCREET FUN
i’m an attractive, single mom
looking for discreet fun...would
enjoy an attractive, dominant,
personality as i tend to 2 b more
submissive...send me a msg and
lets chat! Sammi, 43, g ,
#105766
ADVENTUROUS, EXCITED,
EAGER
I’m looking for a guy who’s
dominant in the bedroom and
wants to teach me new things.
i’ve had a good start in D/s but i
really want to explore! pink_
ocean, 32, g , #105553
PANSEXUAL
I don’t know what I want and
that’s what I’m looking for to find
out what I want. krys-
tal2727, 19, g , #105900
SEX POSITIVE NYMPHO
Impeccable hygiene is a must.
Intelligence preferred. Be sexu-
ally open, honest, and mature.
Into transvestites, groups, would
love to try a gang bang, into new
experiences. Sex positive, no
shame. I_want_it_all, 30,
#105142
EXUBERANT AND CURIOUS
I’m 5’4” pixie-cut brunette with a
penchant for adventure and a
great smile. I am in a committed
non-monogamous partnership,
but hoping to branch out and
meet other poly-friendly folks.
g ,
gewilnian,
23,
#104721
I WANT PLEASURE
HOT BI-GIRL
lookin 2meet a hot, spunky, fun-
loving, punk/goth, pierced/tatted
girl- &a bit submissive, who
enjoys life... preferably between
the ages of ~19-29~ NO DRAMA,
NO
HARD
DRUGS/HEAVY
DRINKERS& DEFINITELY NO
DISEASES. Lellabel, 35, ☎, g ,
#105770
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. DESIRE, 27,
g , #101108
LOVE TO LICK
if ur clean and decent and inter-
ested hit me up. cgro2010, 31,
g , #105869
SUB NEEDS MISTRESS
Looking to fulfill a humiliation/
domination fantasy. I want a
mistress to dominate me, give
anal, mock, scold, make me her
human pet, and generally force
my submission. Owned85, 25,
#105882
ASS SECRET
Discreet or anonymous encoun-
ters. Bangerang7, 18,
#105878
TIGER, OPEN-MIND,
2DAMNSEXY
I would love to meet a woman to
please on the down low. I have
been told I’m great in Bed and
sexy as hell. Please let me
share... easysplash, 29,
#105876
LOOKING FOR...
Up for anything. In a kind of
crazy stage right now so I’m just
wanting some cool people to
expend some of my free time
and energy with. thatonekid,
22, #105855
STEAMPUNK CULTURAL REF-
UGEE
Our “kinks” or turn-ons are
based in an interesting personal-
ity with a slender figure. We’re
kind of geeky in our interests but
very cool. Shallow sit-com fiends
need not apply. Klokwork, 24,
g , #105889
YOUNG ADVENTUROUS COU-
PLE
We are a couple in the Eugene
area looking for a woman or
couple to enhance our sex life.
mikeandamber,
24,
#105852
READY RIGHT NOW
we really would like to have a
three sum we are ready and will-
ing. jensbigwood, 36, g ,
#105803
COMMITTED NON-
MONOGAMOUS PARTNERS
We are looking for mature fun,
NO DRAMA!!I have a very intense
libido, she is a scream’n HELP!!
We would love to meet like mind-
ed people and socialize and PLAY.
CNMP, 38, g , #105811
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3 " 1 ) :
Your outer Dan Savage won’t lead you astray either, CAR, but he will smack you around:
1. Your guy needs to tell this girl that he shares absofuckinlutely everything with you. He
needs to tell her that he’s in a successful open relationship — successful for you two, anyway
— and that he has no intention of limiting the “intensely open communication” that has made
your relationship work. She needs to know that you’re hearing about their dates and the
details of her life, reading every text, etc.
2. Sure, you can meet her — you absofuckinlutely should meet her, CAR, as soon as pos-
sible. How about under coffee circumstances? Or drinks circumstances? Or dinner circum-
stances?
3. Um … gee. If every girl you two have ever “dated” has wound up hurt, CAR, then a
reasonable person might conclude that YOU’RE DOING THIS OPEN-RELATIONSHIP SHIT ALL
WRONG. Your “wonderful” open relationship may be working for you and it may be working
for him, but if it’s not working for them, CAR, then it’s not working.
So your outer Dan Savage is ordering you to refrain from inviting anyone else into your
“wonderful” relationship until you get a handle on what’s so un-fucking-wonderful about it for
your thirds. If you can’t come up with anything — if it’s really not anything you’re doing wrong
— then you should have a few laminated cards made that read, “He’ll never leave me for you,
his relationship with me will ALWAYS be more important than his relationship with you, and
this will most likely end in tears for you. Enjoy the ride.”
Finally, CAR, if this woman is reeling from a rough few years and she can’t handle more
heartache right now and everyone you’ve ever messed around with has gotten hurt and you
elect to “bring her into your relationship” despite my advice, then at least have the decency
to stop pretending that you give a shit about the people you mess around with. Fuck her, fuck
her over, move on — but don’t stand there wringing your hands, pretending that you’re just
heartsick about the damage you two are doing to people.
My 20-year-old brother is gay. My family has known for a few years. He came out to my
mom — she found his Facebook profi le; he hasn’t come out to anyone else in the family, but
we all found out anyway. (I already knew because I would be treated to some interesting porn
whenever I opened the browser on the family computer after he used it.) I’ve voiced my accep-
tance of homosexuality while he is around, but he hasn’t come out. Should I pull him aside and
tell him that the family is OK with him?
His Straight Big Brother
If you wanted to pull your brother aside to tell him the same shit every homo on earth has
heard ten million times by age 20 — “I love you, bro, but Jesus said that every time two dudes
get it on, an angel gets an anal fi ssure” — I would advise you to keep your mouth shut. But
since you’re supportive, and Mom already knows, and it’s on his freakin’ Facebook page, pull
the little coward aside. Tell him everybody knows, everybody loves him, but everybody is sick
of having to pretend that they don’t know what they damn well do.
I love it when you invent words, and I want to nominate a nameless phenomenon that
sometimes affl icts boring het guys like me (as well as all other guys): The blockage that is cre-
ated by dried semen on the tip of your dick after sex needs a name. You wake up at 3:00 a.m.
to drop a line after dozing off after sex, and either the urine gets blocked for a moment and
then bursts out like a geyser (which kinda hurts) or the blockage is only partial and the piss
sprays off at some crazy angle and gets all over the fl oor or the walls (which kinda sucks). This
phenomenon should have a name!
Can’t Spell Neologism Without Gism
FNBJMUPEE!FVHFOFXFFLMZDPN
PSDBMM
SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES!
NO COVER
Any time I have relationship questions, I always ask my inner Dan Savage, and he never
leads me astray!
My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship for six years. We have had “girl-
friends” in the past who were involved with both of us simultaneously. But he recently met
a girl, and they instantly clicked. They have been on a few dates since — nothing physical yet
— and she seems completely infatuated with him. She is aware that he lives with me/we are
together, but I’ve yet to meet her. I am fi ne with them dating, but I have a few questions:
1. My guy and I share everything. He’s shown me her texts and told me about her life. We
both feel slightly uncomfortable with me knowing such personal things about her without
meeting her, but we don’t want to limit the intensely open communication we have earned with
each other. How much am I entitled to know about her/them, and how can he tell me about her
without being disrespectful?
2. Can I meet her? Under what circumstances?
3. Can this end well for her? Every girl we’ve dated has ended up hurt because our relation-
ship with each other is always more important than she is. I worry this girl will be devastated
when he doesn’t leave me for her. Should he squelch all the romance now? She’s had a rough
few years, and he doesn’t want to add to her problems. On the other hand, he’s the fi rst person
she has been able to connect with in a long time. And should he even consider bringing her
into our relationship? Things always end badly for the other girl, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Curious And Respectful
There’s nothing unhealthy about a grown man fantasizing about superheroines, SUPER,
but there is something deeply disturbing about a grown man using the present tense the way
you did in your letter. You wrote “a woman I am crazy about,” when what you clearly should
have said was “a woman I was crazy about.”
She drew you out after sex and encouraged you to open up to her about your sexual fanta-
sies, and then she stomped on you like that? That was an asshole move on her part, borderline
emotionally/sexually abusive, and I hope you arranged to have the door hit her in the ass on
her way out of your apartment.
$PPQFS
NUDE
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I’m a hetero guy in my late 20s. I’ve been dating a woman I am crazy about for two months.
We waited a little while to have sex, but once we fi nally did, during the ensuing pillow talk she
probed my general fantasies, and I dropped that I sometimes fantasize about superheroines.
Despite the fact that these fantasies are otherwise very vanilla, she freaked out and said it
refl ects some kind of deep psychological problems and fundamental immaturity.
Dan, these women are drawn to appeal to what the inner pubescent boy in every hetero
guy wants! Can you weigh in on whether there’s something unhealthy about a grown man
fantasizing about Supergirl and Zatanna?
Superheroines Unconsciously Permeate Erotic Romps
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Savage Love
I’m tempted to ask SUPER what his girlfriend’s name is, CSNWG, because if anyone on
earth deserves to be forever associated with a crusty blockage that has to be pissed away
after sex, it’s her.
But I’m sure my readers — the folks behind “santorum” — can come up with something
better. Gang?
DANCER
AUDITIONS
*(33
465>,+ ;()3,+(5*,:
NO COVER
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
:(:[YLL[:WYPUNMPLSK
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EUGENE WEEKLY JANUARY 13, 2011 39