TO PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD CALL 484.0519
LOST CAMERA at Willamalane Park. Digital
camera in purple Crown Royal bag. Please
return memory chip, reward. 970-846-5745
or 606-6403
LOST NORTHFACE JACKET pale green, small
women’s size. Small round crystal light
catcher in pocket. Reward 255-2513
SPEARHEAD CONCERT, 5/24 .... I have your
Monet and you have mine. I miss my Paris
street scene. Do you miss your blue lady?
Call me. 686-8871.
Announcements
ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alterna-
tive newspapers like this one. Over 6 million
circulation every week for $1200. No adult
ads. Call Jayme at 541-484-0519. (AAN CAN)
OBAMA - BARBARA BOXER! What could be
foxier for healing the Democratic party and
promoting a progressive agenda.
SUN. JUNE 22 Major Global Blessing. 3:00
pm. Soak up radiant Love & Peace.
www.share-international.org. Hooray 4
Transformation!
Adoption/Family
Services
*ADOPT* ADORING fulltime Mom, loving
successful Dad, strong values, closeknit
extended family awaits your baby. Expenses
paid. David & Joan 1-800-476-9335
PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?
Talk with caring agency specializing in
matching Birthmothers with Families
nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call
24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-
413-6293 (AAN CAN)
PART TIME Inventory/Custodial position for
coffee shop. Afternoons M-Sat, approx. 1 1/2
hours daily. Honest, dependable, reliable.
Bring resume in person, 1090 Willamette St.,
before noon.
Help Wanted
COAST DISTRIBUTION DRIVERS WANTED
Eugene Weekly seeks a distribution driver
to deliver papers to Veneta, Florence and
up to Newport. Delivery is every Thursday.
Applicants must be reliable, punctual, pro-
fessional, and have a desire to help grow
distribution. Must posses a clean driving
record, current valid insurance and reliable
vehicle. To apply, please fax or mail resume
to: Eugene Weekly Circulation, 1251 Lincoln
St. Eugene, OR 97401. fax: 541-484-4044.
CARE GIVERS Needed P/T-F/T for young
man with Autism in Eugene. MR/DD care giv-
ing experience required. Must pass criminal
background check. Email resume:
robyn@cvision.org for info about
Community Vision Inc www.cvision.org.
$9/hr and up, full benefits available for full-
time hours
MERCHANDISE MANAGER Due to our
increase of our business we are seeking for
responsible, accurate and sociable persons.
Easy! Up to $3k/month. Email us at: car-
goeastline@gmail.com
BLACK LOTUS is looking for a piercer for
possible full time employment. Please bring
resume to Black Lotus 1011 w 6th, Eugene.
MARKET OF CHOICE is currently hiring for
a Chef, Cooks, Kitchen Clerks, Barista,
Bakery Clerks and other various positions.
Our company offers excellent benefits that
include a company paid premium insurance
plan for employees and dependants, com-
petitive wages and matching 401K retire-
ment plan. Applicants should be available
any shift including weekends. To download
an application, visit our website www.mar-
ketofchoice.com and mail it to: Market of
Choice Attn: Jessica Gale 67 W. 29th Ave
Eugene, OR 97405
BARTENDER/SERVER. Popular South
Eugene restaurant and sports bar is looking
for the right individual to complete our pro-
fessional staff. You must have min 1 year
experience in a full service bar. Position is
part/full time with a flexible schedule.
Please bring resume with qualifications to
The Old Pad, 3355 E. Amazon Dr.
NOW HIRING: Companies desperately need
employees to assemble products at home.
No selling, any hours. $500 weekly poten-
tial. Info 1-985-646-1700 Dept. OR-1072
COOK MUST have 1-2 years of experience in
a fast paced restaurant environment. Desire
an individual that is interested in growing
their career in the kitchen. The position is in
a popular full service restaurant/sports bar.
Must have dependable transportation.
Position requires a flexible schedule due to
rotating shifts, part to full time.
Competitive starting wage plus tips
depending on experience. Bring resume to
3355 E. Amazon Dr. Eugene.
ACCOUNT/FUNDS REP. Millwall Textiles &
Fabrics Ltd. a major supplier of Textiles and
Fabrics, requires urgent employment of
part time workers. Must have access to the
Internet. For more information do email as
Phone inquiries will not be accepted. Please
send all inquiries to. (dhk256@yahoo.com)
DRIVERS NEEDED New company in local
areas to fill several positions call to Start
Now! 541-429-1989
NEW TATTOO shop in Springfield is looking
for tattoo artist. Please call 541-221-6494 for
details.
¡ASK A MEXICAN!
BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO
SPECIAL PHILADELPHIA EDITION
Dear Mexican: I recently went to
a Los Angeles Dodgers game at
Dodgers Stadium. It was good to
see the familias having fun with
their children, pero I then saw and
heard something disturbing. There
will always be rivalries in any
sport, of course, pero the white
people cheering for the St. Louis
Cardinals would clap and cheer
when their team did something
good. When the Dodgers did good,
the Mexican fans— mostly home-
boys and paisas — were yelling pro-
fanities and flipping off other people. It
was very sad that they would display such
language in front of innocent, young, impression-
able children, and it upset me that they made Mexicans look like ruth-
less, ignorant animals. I was compelled to go up to those Cardinals
fans, and I made sure the Dodgers fans were looking. I said to the
güeros, “I apologize for these ignorant young men who don’t know
how to behave like a civilized adult at a sporting event.” It’s bad
enough our culture gets a bad rap, but they shouldn’t add leña to the
fuego. Was I wrong to stand up and excuse them? — Garciaparra Girl
Dear Wabette: No. It’s always noble and a bit antiquated to ask for decency
in this modern mundo, but you’re waging a Sisyphean battle if you think you
can reform foul-mouthed Dodgers devotees — and not because they’re a
bunch of Mexicans. Remember that “fan” in the context of sports is short for
“fanatic,” and then tune into ESPN Classic and wait for footage of Disco
Demolition Night to air. Dig all those long-haired gabachos! If that 1979
Chicago White Sox fiasco still doesn’t convince you about the innate savagery
of sports fans, then buy the 2003 tome The Great Philadelphia Fan Book and
marvel at how Mexican Philadelphians can act when placed before loser
squads. And don’t forget the followers of the Oakland Raiders, New York
Giants/Mets/Jets/Yankees/Knicks … really, any major-league rooter except
those pussies who cheer for the baseball Cardinals.
SHIT
HAPPENS
24 hour full service plumbing and rooter Service
CALL A. HANNAMAN • 541-653-9750
ccb 178662 / pb 9750
THE JOLLY GOOD
CHIMNEY SWEEP
344-5571
I read your column every week and notice your ongoing theme of
pushing for “immigration reform.” I realize your concern for your fel-
low compadres, but what of those of us who see that our country is
becoming simply too overcrowded, and too Hispanicized? In Plano,
Texas, my grocery began putting up directional signs only in Spanish.
At the school that I taught at in Dallas, all the blacks left and their
places filled by the illegals’ children. And because I don’t speak
Spanish, I was forced into an early retirement. First, we need a zero
population growth mentality. I used to be a Catholic, but in this day
and age, pushing for no birth control is insane. So, do you believe we
should just open up the country to anyone and everyone? Where do
we draw the line? — Randy for Romo
Dear Gabacha: Damn, chula: get yourself together! Your question scatters
across rhyme and reason like Mexicans spilling out of a hole in the border
fence. I’ll address pero one part of your pregunta: the idea that Mexicans are
irredeemably Hispanicizing the United States. For your answer, I turn ¡Ask a
Mexican! over to the chingón satirist of his time, Benjamin Franklin:
David S. Bull, Esq.
Lic. #51931
A Sweep for All Seasons
www.eugeneweekly.com
First time in Eugene! Gifted Author and Medium!
Heart of and Presence
your Spirit Guides
WITH ROBIN H. LYSNE, M.A. AND HER GUIDES
We hear about coming into the moment, but is there a process
to help us? Have you ever met your Spirit Guides or Angels?
Thursday June 26, 2008
7:00 - 9:30 PM
…Why should the Palatine Boors [Germans] be suffered to swarm into our
Settlements, and by herding together establish their Language and Manners to
the Exclusion of ours? Why should Pennsylvania, founded by the English,
become a Colony of Aliens, who will shortly be so numerous as to Germanize
us instead of our Anglifying them, and will never adopt our Language or
Customs, any more than they can acquire our Complexion.
Last I checked, the most German thing remaining in Pennsylvania were the
Amish, and they’re more American than the Phillie Phanatic. Though
Mexicans are influencing the culture of America, the Republic always absorbs
its idiot immigrants and becomes richer for it — and if you don’t believe me,
then ask yourself why Franklin was proven such a schmendrick, or why a
Mexican uses Yiddish as part of his fakakta shtick.
Sliding Scale $15-$25
Pre-Registration is Suggested
STAR GATE BOOKS
1374 Willamette St. #1
(541) 342-8348
WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
Get all your Mexican needs at youtube.com/askamexicano, myspace.com/ocwab,
and themexican@askamexican.net!
EUGENE WEEKLY
JUNE 19, 2008 41