Abbreviations: A Asian • B Black • Bi Bisexual • C Couple • Ch Christian • D Divorced • F Female • G Gay • H Hispanic
HWP Height/ Weight proportionate • J Jewish • M Male • NA No alcohol • NAm Native American • ND No drugs • NS No smoking
P Professional • S Single • W White • Wi Widowed • ISO In search of • LTR Long-term relationship
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I’VE RECENTLY QUIT
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Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I love my wife. We’ve been married 10 years. Young punk-rock love turned into adult debt-
ridden love. She’s been there for me, helps me achieve my goals, all that. But she’s let herself
go, while I’ve gotten myself into better shape.
I pride myself on being a good husband. I’ve been 100 percent faithful, I clean, I tell her I
love her. I don’t want to hurt her. I love her. I just don’t lust for her anymore. My wife’s skin is
a mess, she has dietary issues that cause gnarly gas, she eats bad food that causes her to
gain weight. I always thought I was against the society-imposed, magazine-model, porn-star
look girls are supposed to have. So it’s hard for me to admit that I’m not cool enough to think
my wife is hot the way she is.
I’ve started stoning to dull the fact that I’m hating on myself for not being hot for my wife.
She’s picking up on all of this, which is affecting her mood, self-esteem, and energy levels.
And since she tends to eat more when things aren’t going well for us, this is creating a hugely
negative feedback loop on the weight-and-lust fronts.
When almost any girl you see is hotter to you than your wife… what the fuck do you do?
When the desire to be with someone who actually turns you on is overwhelming… what the
fuck do you do? When people you find attractive, women and men, hit on you all the time…
what the fuck do you do?
Hawt And Royally Depressed
Before you give up or drive yourself crazy over this situation, HARD, you need to have an
honest talk with your wife. It’s simple: Tell your wife that you no longer find her attractive. It’s
called being honest.
It is quite possible that she has no idea that her out-of-shapeness is a turnoff, especially if
she has never been told! Try saying something like this: “Honestly, I love you, but I’m not as
physically attracted as I’d like to be. Can I help you work out a bit?” Then perhaps pick up a set
of weights at a garage sale, set up a full-length mirror in a spare room, and work out together
as a couple. Or take her for long walks. Or, if she’s a foodie, encourage her to garden; a lot of
calories get burned when you fork over your own vegetable patch!
But start with complete honesty. It’s not that hard to say, “You have gotten fat and unat-
tractive and my sex drive is nil, so can we do something about it before I bail on you?” My
goodness! Whatever happened to being honest? Sit your partner down and tell her you love
her in every way but you are not attracted to her due to her appearance. “You are out of
shape and it’s killing our relationship” is a good place to start! Stress how much you care,
bring up the health thing, and tell her you want her to live a long, happy life, but impress upon
her that this is a problem that might lead you to leave.
Open communication means revealing your thoughts so the other person can take action.
Which sometimes means saying, “Unless you take up jogging and lose 35 pounds, sweetie, I’m
going to have a hard time being sexually excited about you.” The partner either laces up the
running shoes or they waddle on with their life.
Good luck!
My boyfriend and I are both in our 20s, we’re GGG, and we’ve experimented enough to
know what we both like. There’s only one thing that I’d like to try that he can’t help me with:
I’d like to be with a girl. He feels that if I get to be with a girl, then he should get to be with
her, or another woman. I feel that any experience I have with a woman wouldn’t threaten him,
as I have no interest in having a relationship with a woman. I’d be fine if he wanted to be with
another man. But he has no interest in being with a guy. I know what you’re going to write:
Shut up and have a threesome! We’ve talked about that, but it would be too hard for me to
watch him with another girl.
This is an argument that we keep coming back to and it always ends up with us having a
semiserious fight. Help us out!
Wants A Girl Alone
What you’re proposing, WAGA, is basically this: “I get to do this thing I want to do (eat a lit-
tle pussy) and in exchange you get to do this thing you don’t want to do (suck a little cock).”
That’s hardly fair. If you’re too threatened by the idea of your boyfriend going to bed with
someone besides you whom he would like to fuck, then you have to forgo bedding someone
besides him whom you would like to fuck. The end.
I am a 21-year-old, attractive straight male with an identical twin brother, also straight. I’ve
never understood the “twin-fetish” thing, and whenever girls mentioned it, my response was
confusion and disgust. Thing is, I was at a party with my brother a week ago, and this girl stat-
ed quite plainly that she had a thing for twins and wanted to do both of us at the same time.
This girl is hot—great body, fuck-me eyes, likes to take control. And so my brother and I decid-
ed that we weren’t so disgusted with the idea after all.
I have two questions: How common is this twin-fetish thing? And where’s the incest line?
This girl says she wants to see my brother and me kiss, but I don’t want to do that if it crosses
the incest line.
A Nervous Twin
It’s amazing how quickly “confusion and disgust” at a proposed position/kink/sibling-
combo-platter morphs into “comprehension and desire” when someone with come-fuck-me
eyes/tits/asscheeks, etc., does the propositioning. Bill O’Reilly wants to rub falafels on your
tits? You’re not interested. Milo Ventimiglia wants to rub falafels on your tits? You’re in the
kitchen mashing up chickpeas in your underwear.
Anyway, how common is the twin-fetish thing? Common enough for beer and chewing-gum
companies to market their products exploiting your kind, ANT, and, in a related development,
common enough to have its very own porn genre. Rest assured that you and your brother are
going to receive proposals like this one so long as you insist on being young and attractive
and identical. (With the notable exception of Viola and Sebastian, fraternal twins aren’t nearly
as compelling.)
As to where you should draw the “incest line,” well, different people draw that line in dif-
ferent places. Personally, I feel there’s something vaguely incestuous about being in the same
time zone when one of my siblings is getting it on with someone—hell, I’m uncomfortable being
in the same time zone when one of my siblings is showering. So you’ll have to look inside
yourself, ANT, and then look at the outside of that smoking-hot girl again, before you can
decide where to draw that line.
But I’m sure I speak for everyone out there reading this column when I say this: If you
decide to go ahead with this threesome, whether it includes incestuous twin tongue kisses or
not, we all wanna see the video on XTube.
Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
SAVAGE LOVE IS PROUDLY SPONSORED BY:
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NOVEMBER 21, 2007 43