BY MOLLY TEMPLETON
The Heart
Attacks
Friday July 13
88324 VINEYARD LANE · VENETA
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Her Name Isn’t Veronica
Nancy Drew gets pulled into the present
NANCY DREW: Directed by Andrew Fleming.
Written by Fleming and Tiffany Paulsen. Story by
Paulsen, based on characters created by Carolyn
Keene. Cinematography, Alexander Gruszynski.
Starring Emma Roberts, Tate Donovan, Josh Flitter,
Max Thieriot and Rachael Leigh Cook. Warner Bros.
Pictures, 2007. PG. 99 minutes. 42111
Grynch
& AlterEGO
Wednesday July 25
291 WEST 8TH AVE · 7:30PM DOORS · ALL AGES
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Saturday August 4
88324 VINEYARD LN · VENETA
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3 LEGENDS 1 STAGE
The
Ditty
Bops
Wednesday Aug 8
291 WEST 8TH AVE · 7:00PM DOORS · ALL AGES
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Tuesday August 21
291 WEST 8TH AVE · 7:30PM DOORS · ALL AGES
SPECIAL SEATED SHOW
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24
JUNE 21, 2007
Dear Nancy,
It’s not you. It’s me.
Actually, scratch that. It’s not me
either. It’s another teen sleuth with a pen-
chant for cracking tough cases. She’s
come between us, and I can’t deny it any
longer.
I grew up with you, Nancy. I still have
all your books in a box in my dad’s base-
ment. I still shake out my shoes before I
put them on; I remember (possibly incor-
rectly) when you found a scorpion in your
boot. Scenes from your stories linger in
my imagination. I envied you your awe-
some friends (but not your doofy
boyfriend) and your endless adventures.
I was probably about 10 then. You
were supposed to be 18, yet your fans
were years younger. I think they’re about
to get younger still. This movie that just
came out — Nancy (Emma Roberts),
what happened? You’ve got the car and
the bland boyfriend (Max Thieriot), but
Bess and George are left back in River
Heights when you and your dad (Tate
Donovan) head to L.A. Daddy dearest
wants you to stop sleuthing, which could
have something to do with the weird case
you solve in the film’s opening minutes
(something about Chris Kattan robbing a
church?). But you’ve moved into an old
house with a creepy caretaker straight out
of an old Scooby-Doo episode, and
you’ve just got to figure out what hap-
pened to the actress who once lived there.
I understand that.
But what’s a surprise, Nance, is what
you’ve become. This time warp thing,
where you “just like old things” and listen
to vinyl, is jarringly unconvincing. It also
doesn’t seem likely that a girl who does so
much sleuthing would have a lot of spare
time for sewing retro dresses. Making you
self-confidently unpopular in your new
town turns you into a watery girl-power
princess: you’re well-off, good at every-
thing and too clever to care what the snob-
by girls think (or to call them on their crap
when they befriend you just to get closer
to your boyfriend). Emma Roberts has a
sweet smile (it must run in the family), but
she doesn’t quite have enough presence to
portray your goody-two-shoes side as
charming instead of, well, a little grating.
But as I said before, it’s not really
about you. It’s about that other girl I met
this summer. Her name’s Veronica Mars,
and I think you must have inspired her.
She’s in high school too, but her life’s a
little tougher than yours: Her mom split,
her best friend was murdered and her dad
got fired. She’s got seriously complicated
boy troubles, and while she’s trying to
deal with her own stuff, the entire student
body of Neptune High (even the people
who don’t like her) seems to come to her
for help. She’s a smart cookie, she’s
sassy, she’s extremely talented but not
unbelievably good at everything, and
when her heart breaks, you can feel it.
After Veronica, Nancy, you’re just too
nice (though many grown-ups like that
about you). But the real issue is simply
that the girls who’ve followed in your
footsteps —the Harriets, the Veronicas,
maybe even the Buffys; all strong, intel-
ligent, complex heroines — have passed
you up.
I’m sorry. Maybe we’ll have another
chance in the future.
Love,
Molly