BY MARY O’BRIEN
40 Perfect Years
Together and independent
R
emember Konrad Lorenz’s experiments on
imprinting? He found that if a gosling’s
first companion was a human rather than
an adult goose, the gosling would follow the
human around.
I may have gotten my concept of what a friend
is by imprinting on Jimmy Bentley. He was my next-
door neighbor and best buddy for the first seven or
eight years of my life. We never argued. When we got
together to play, Jimmy would suggest an idea, say
roller-skating around the block. If I didn’t want to do
that, I’d suggest an alternative. We’d bounce back
and forth until we both liked an idea, and off we’d
go. We always had fun.
Forty years ago this month, I set off on an
eight-week camping trip and a Jimmy Bentley life
with O’B after our simple morning wedding. I was 16
years old when I spotted O’B in a high school to
which I had recently transferred. He didn’t notice me,
but I noticed him: He was always polite with whomever he was
talking or walking. I thought, “I’m going for this guy,” and did.
To this day I am astonished at my 16-year-old instincts and lifelong good for-
tune. Each to one’s own, but here’s my list of what has made for 40 (to me) per-
fect years:
• Support for independence. I’ve been able to have my own life and work. No
matter how many days or weeks I’m away, I’ve never heard a complaint. Instead, a
cheerful, “Hi Rabbit!” has greeted me whenever I call or arrive home. Likewise, I’ve
made spectacularly non-monetary choices for work over the years, but have never
heard advice to the contrary. All I have heard is interest in whatever unprofitable
work had seemed worthwhile to do.
• Seeing humor in foibles. You’ve got to hand it to someone who, riding shot-
gun, exclaims, “It’s so exciting to take a ride with you!” after I’ve twice in one
morning started driving up the wrong way on a one-way street. Think about the
useless alternative responses.
• Sharing tasks. Whether taking half care of our two boys (and the runaway
15-year old we took in), or half care of house tasks and cooking (except when our
children were around and they too helped), it’s been a fair deal all the way around.
• Decency to all. It’s a comfort knowing that O’B treats others as decently as
he treats me. I’m not sure why that’s such a comfort, but it is.
• Love of life. Hiking on a backpack trip, reading aloud to each other, grubbing
out blackberries or getting some tape at a hardware store — it’s always fun. And
peaceful.
A good relationship like this isn’t unique. I spent last Memorial Day weekend
with a couple who, for 47 years, have been ranching, cougar-hunting, raising two
children and working to protect jaguars from extinction near the Mexican border.
The same affection, humor, independent lives, task-sharing and decency to all
were there. A photo on their mantle shows a 19-year old young woman and a lanky
20-year old young man, both in jeans, about to set off on a week-long camping trip
after their simple morning wedding.
On Memorial Day I thought of the war-crafted rows upon rows of white crosses.
Under each of those crosses lies a life cut short. Whether the person who rests
beneath any given cross believed their early death was worth it or not, the multi-
plicity of those crosses didn’t come from good relationships. Why so often we
make life miserable for each other is partly a mystery and partly a realization that
we’re not so different from our primate relatives as we might want to pretend.
I can only be grateful that I’ve had 40 years (and more) of dawn. I’d love to get
a thank-you to Jimmy.
WHO YOU GONNA BLAME?
Mary O’Brien of Eugene has worked as a public interest scientist since 1981. She can be reached at
mob@efn.org
EDITORIAL Editor Ted Taylor
News Editor Alan Pittman Reporter Camilla Mortensen
Arts & Music Editor Molly Templeton
Performing & Visual Arts/Copy Editor Suzi Steffen
Calendar Editor Chuck Adams
Contributing Editor Anita Johnson
Contributing Writers Bryan Andersen, Sara Brickner, Jason Blair, Joshua
Blanchard, Jes Burns, Brett Campbell, Rachael Carnes, Wade Christiansen,
Michael Cockram, David Constantin, John Dooley, Rachel Foster, Phillip
Getty, James Johnston, Zach Klassen, Sarah Mazze, Sharleen Nelson, Mary
O’Brien, Aaron Ragan-Fore, Vanessa Salvia, Steven Sawada, Sally Sheklow,
Lance Sparks, Eva Sylwester, Adrienne van der Valk
Interns Amanda Burhop, Erin Rokita, Deanna Uutela
ART DEPARTMENT
Art Director/Production Manager Kevin Dougherty
Graphic Artist/Webmaster James Bateman
Graphic Artists Shannon Browning, Todd Cooper, Barbara Cooper
Intern Carly Kratzer Baby Samara Cooper
Contributing Photographers Kurt Jensen, Paul Neevel
ADVERTISING
National Sales Manager Mark Frisbee
Display Marketing Consultant Jennifer Donohue, Nate Krusi, Rob Weiss
Advertising Traffic Coordinator Geneva “Goddess” Miller
Classified Manager Jennifer Donohue
Classified Marketing Consultant Janus Brezsny, Aspen Rosen
BUSINESS Director of Sales and Marketing Bill Shreve
Circulation Manager Danica Stiles Baby Persaeus Eilah Zapata Stiles
Controller Paula Hoemann Distributors Bob Becker, Matt Bryson, Margaret
Garrison, Tobin Herrera, Susan and David Lawson, Tim Risch, Quick Draw,
Pedalers Express Printing Signature Graphics
HOW TO REACH US BY E-MAIL:
(letters): editor@eugeneweekly.com
(advertising): ads@eugeneweekly.com
(classifieds): classy@eugeneweekly.com
(personals): personals@eugeneweekly.com
(calendar): cal@eugeneweekly.com
(music/clubs/special shows): music@eugeneweekly.com
(art/openings/galleries): visualarts@eugeneweekly.com
(performance/theater): performance@eugeneweekly.com
(literary arts/readings): books@eugeneweekly.com
(movies/film screenings): movies@eugeneweekly.com
(circulation): distribution@eugeneweekly.com
We miss you Drew “Rockdstar” Harrison
Eugene Weekly • 1251 Lincoln Street • Eugene, OR 97401 • 541.484.0519 • fax 541-484-4044
4 JUNE 7, 2007
TO THE EDITOR
WISHING HIM WELL
FOLLOW THE PEOPLE
While the May 31 Slant column harshly
catalogues editorial disagreements with as-
pects of departing Eugene City Manager
Dennis Taylor’s tenure, I do think that a nod
to some of his best qualities is in order.
While I am admittedly more focused upon
county rather than city issue intricacy, I have,
from afar, seen Dennis Taylor in a far differ-
ent, albeit perhaps less informed, light.
While the new signs were being erected in
an outdoor ceremony for the renaming of
Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard from
Centennial Boulevard, a project I helped ini-
tiate, I spoke at length with Taylor for the first
time on a street corner. From that conversa-
tion, I gleaned that he had deep commitment
to human rights and diversity, and had a basic
sympathy to the historic people — first
legacy of the Democratic Party. He conveyed
that both he and his father had been loyal par-
tisans to Robert F. Kennedy in Kansas and
had played roles in that historic campaign.
I have watched Taylor assist the City
Council during the most contentious of meet-
ings — always facilitating complex issues
with courtesy and diplomacy. I also watched
him doggedly advocate for the city in its con-
frontation with the commission on the enter-
prise zone negotiations several years ago.
We should not lose sight of the fact that
Eugene’s politics are riven down the middle,
that city government is a huge and unwieldy
herd of cats and that City Charter delineations
of authority can always be changed via a vote
of the people — but not through unilateral al-
terations by any manager.
Having seen city managers since 1965, I
believe that Dennis Taylor has projected a
core personal kindness and patient persona
— despite the inevitable brickbats and
harshly personalized criticism over this or
that transient issue. We all should wish him
well in his future life in Montana and thank
him for those patient labors that escape the
front page and controversy of the moment.
Scott Bartlett
Eugene
In the early 1970s I worked at the
Brooklyn Museum and often attended
Manhattan art openings. Frequently we’d end
up at Broome Street Bar. It was in the middle
of the 43 blocks eventually to be known as
SoHo. It was utterly dark at night, with noth-
ing open except this tavern. Home of the
world’s best burger, it was the place to go for
pioneering artists who found cheap loft
spaces to live in (illegally) in this abandoned
industrial quarter. Eventually the city surren-
dered and rezoned SoHo for residential use.
In a few years it became one of the world’s
hippest gallery and shopping districts.
From 1999 to 2001 I lived on Peachtree
Street in midtown Atlanta, an area that had re-
cently improved through renovation of clas-
sic but run-down homes. My first year there
were almost no stores save a convenience
store, one all-night club and scattered eater-
ies. Then a lot of folks got tired of insane
commutes and started moving into “lofts” on
Peachtree Street. By 2001 every loft had been
sold with more being built, and there was a
major supermarket, galleries, boutiques,
gourmet restaurants and vital commercial ac-
tivity everywhere.
The point? If Eugene does all it can to de-
velop housing downtown for all sectors of
our population, we will reach a turning point,
and business will thrive. Business follows
people — especially artists, entrepreneurs
and other urban pioneers. Not one nickel of
subsidy is needed for parking or tax benefits
for “business development” to make down-
town thrive. I promise.
Bob Ransom
Eugene
NOT TERROR
My wife gave birth to our first child last
week. Like most new parents, I find myself
looking forward with a new appreciation to
the next 20 years and beyond, wondering
how her life will develop and how the world
will be when she reaches maturity.
Unfortunately, that vision is looking