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interfaith, ethnic ceremonies performed at
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MEDICAL MARIJUANA Clinic in Eugene.
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344-5571
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Specialists in Parent Skill-Building
Weddings
Language
SPANISH FOR EVERYONE! Classes, tutoring
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Classes
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ing from surgery, cancer, or combating
some disability, yoga renews and provides
physical and mental strength. Postures,
relaxation, breathing exercises and nutri-
tion for a happier, healthier life. Day:
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EARLY HOLIDAY DEADLINE For Eugene Weekly
Advertising. Please contact us to run an ad by
this Friday 5pm, Dec 22 for our Dec 28 issue
and Friday 5pm, Dec 29 for our Jan 4 issue. 541-
484-0519, classy@eugeneweekly.com
www.parentcoachLLC.com
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CITY VIEW
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88530 Greenhill Rd
Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm
Closed Wednesday & Thursday
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302-3880
l
BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES
(March 21-April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries!
I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for
you. What might inspire you to take maximum advan-
tage of the cosmic currents in 2007? Here’s my answer:
a plane ticket to an exotic playground where your mind
will get blown and your emotions aired out and your
instincts educated. Another gift I’d love you to have
would be a pilgrimage to a spot where you lived once
upon a time. There you could take advantage of Nelson
Mandela’s counsel: “There is nothing like returning to a
place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which
you yourself have altered.”
TAURUS
(April 20-May 20): Happy Holy Daze,
Taurus! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift
for you. What item might inspire you to take maximum
advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve decided
on Winning With Integrity: Getting What You’re Worth
Without Selling Your Soul, a book by sports agent Leigh
Steinberg. It’ll help you be both smart and heartful as
you navigate your way through the negotiations you’ll
be called on to do in the coming months. Here’s a taste
of Steinberg’s advice. (1) Align yourself with people who
share your values. (2) Learn all you can about the other
party. (3) Create a climate of cooperation, not conflict.
(4) Learn to listen. (5) Convince the other party you
have an option, even if you don’t.
GEMINI
(May 21-June 20): Happy Holy Daze,
Gemini! I’ve been thinking about the perfect holiday gift
for you to give yourself. Considering the cosmic cur-
rents in 2007, what offering would be most appropri-
ate? The answer is a magic mirror. Why? Because I think
you should look at your reflection more often in the
coming year. Gaze more deeply into your own eyes and
try harder to find out who’s really there inside you. Talk
to yourself pointedly while you’re in front of your magic
mirror; ask yourself probing questions. And every now
and then, press up close to your reflection for a kiss.
CANCER
(June 21-July 22): Happy Holy Daze,
Cancerian! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday
gift for you. What symbolic offering might put you in the
right mood to deal proactively with potential problems
in 2007? I’ve decided on a set of those specially-
40 DECEMBER 21, 2006
designed clothes-storage bags that allow you to suck all
the air out, compressing your sweaters and pants so
that they take up significantly less space in your lug-
gage or closet. Hopefully these bags would inspire you
to come up with creative applications of the “less is
more” principle, which will be a recurring theme for you
in the coming months.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! In
2007, I predict that you’ll experience a metaphorical
version of something that’s rare in nature: a gentle
birth. There’ll be a big new addition to your life, in other
words, and its arrival won’t hurt a bit — may even feel
downright ecstatic. Here’s some more mysterious good
news: In the coming months, you will have the power to
learn from the moon, converse with the dead, and
remember your ancient origins. And get this: The
adventures that amuse you most could involve foam
rubber, distant bells, smoke rising from manholes,
plums from Damascus, and exotic trophies. One more
thing, Leo: In 2007, brand new bedtime stories will be
mandatory.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Mytho-poetic scholars
say that honey symbolizes emotional maturity. When it
appears in your dreams or reveries, it may mean you’re
expanding your capacity to experience feelings that are
positive and healthy for you. It suggests you’re ready to
shed distorted psychological patterns that you unwit-
tingly absorbed as a child, and replace them with new
imprints that are in harmony with your highest values.
Since 2007 will bring opportunities for you to do these
exact things, Virgo, I suggest that you give honey an
honored place in your life. Maybe buy some of the best
stuff on the market, put it in a fine decanter, and keep it
on an altar in your bedroom. Happy Holy Daze!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra!
I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you.
What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in clos-
est alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve
decided on the book Power Unseen: How Microbes Rule
the World. In it, author Bernard Dixon praises bacteria,
viruses, fungi, and protozoa. Without them, he says,
we’d be nothing. They’re instrumental in providing our
food, purifying our drinking water, and processing our
sewage. If you keep Power Unseen in a prominent place
in your home during the coming months, it might con-
stantly remind you to be reverent toward and grateful
for the little things — which is exactly what the astro-
logical omens suggest you should do. Maybe the book
will also inspire you to be alert for invisible helpers and
inconspicuous allies.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Happy Holy Daze,
Scorpio! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift
for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be
in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007?
I’ve decided on Elvis Presley’s favorite midnight snack:
a peanut butter and banana sandwich deep-fried in but-
ter. Why? Because like the King, you should aggressive-
ly pursue the unique experiences that will reliably give
you comfort and sustenance. Like the King, you should
feel no guilt about doing unusual things that you know
in your heart will help you perform at your best.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Holy
Daze, Sagittarius! My gift for you is the following oracle:
A breakthrough you were blessed with in 1995 will be
coming back around in 2007. How? Three possible
ways: (1) You’ll be inspired to make changes to whatev-
er sprung from that original breakthrough 12 years ago.
(2) You’ll be visited by a new version of that break-
through, on a higher octave this time. (3) You’ll attempt
a quantum leap that resembles the original, but hap-
pens in a different area of your life.
CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Holy
Daze, Capricorn! I’ve been meditating on the perfect
holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might
inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic
currents in 2007? I’ve decided on Ed Anger’s book
Let’s Pave the Stupid Rainforests & Give School
Teachers Stun Guns. Not because I agree with his
assertions, but simply because his outrageousness
might push you to dream up wild solutions to your
same old boring dilemmas; his rowdy spirit may fuel
your own rebellious flights of imagination that will
inspire you to fight back against the numbing insanity
of the loony bin known as “reality.”
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You should and
could be the zodiac’s premier networker in 2007. The
connections you foster and the deals you broker can
save the world — or at least your local segment of the
world. In order to pull it all off with maximum effective-
ness, you should also be the zodiac’s premier fun-
maker. Throw parties, tell jokes, and constantly invite
people to play harder and take themselves less serious-
ly. What can you do to prepare for this destiny? Start by
getting yourself holiday gifts that will help you fulfill
your assignments. How about installing a backyard
water park, for instance? (Neiman-Marcus offers such a
thing in its Christmas catalog.) Or about some comedy
lessons from a person like the humor coach in the film
Borat? Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius!
PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Holy Daze,
Pisces! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift
for you. What symbolic item might stimulate you to take
maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007?
I’ve decided on a ladder. This power object will signify
two important themes for you: (1) Your potential to
climb to a higher level of excellence and clout, giving
you a more expansive view of your surroundings. (2)
The need to make this ascent carefully and deliberately
(not quickly and sloppily), with the aid of simple tools
(not with the metaphorical equivalent of an elevator),
and with trustworthy assistance (for example, with
someone to hold the ladder steady).
HOMEWORK:
Make a prediction about what you
will do in 2007. Tell me about it by going to
http://RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”
Go to RealAstrology.com
to check out Rob Brezsny's
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES
and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.