BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): California’s San
Joaquin Valley has the worst air in the state, and
as a result, 12 percent of the kids who live there
have asthma. The terrible pollution stems largely
from burned fossil fuels trapped between the
mountain ranges that surround the valley.
Ironically, the smog often hides the mountains
from view. Some environmentalists have made that
a symbol of what they hope to accomplish as they
strive to purify the air. “Fifteen years from now,”
one activist told the San Francisco Chronicle, “I
have faith that I’ll see the mountains.” Let this be a
metaphor for the work you have ahead of you,
Aries. Banish what’s obscuring your sight of the big
picture.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Life would be a lot
less boring if there was a fight to pick.” So mused
the narrator of a show about rival monkey groups
on cable TV’s “Animal Planet.” The moment I heard
this, my psychic sensors went on red alert and the
image of a lethargic bull popped into my mind’s
eye. “Uh-oh,” I thought. “I bet this is a theme I
should warn my Taurus readers about.” Checking
the astrological aspects, I had my hunch confirmed.
And so I am asking you not to seek an exit from
your doldrums by throwing your weight around in a
china store or in a crowded room full of sensitive
egos. Have a little patience, and your healthy, lusty
appetites will soon return, rescuing you from the
need to spark an entertaining ruckus.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): There’s not enough
time to do all the things you want to do. You’re
constantly rushing to get to places at an appointed
hour or to complete a certain task by a deadline.
Part of you hates the regimen of doing the same
thing at the same hour every day, and part of you
hates living your life by schedules set by other
people. In short, Gemini, you have an embattled
relationship with time. Can anything be done about
it? A little. You’re now in a phase when it’s possible
to make modest progress. To get in the mood, I
suggest you conduct a ritual to empower yourself.
For instance, you could buy a cheap battery-oper-
ated alarm clock, take it into a natural place where
the rhythms of nature surround you, and smash
the clock with a hammer.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your assignment,
my fellow Cancerian, is to meditate every day on
the following lines of poetry by L.S. Asekoff:
“There’s a hole/ in my left shoe/ stuffed with a
page/ of Aristotle’s Essay/ on Morals/ which con-
tains/ a grammatical error/ in the first line.” Every
secret you need to discover in the coming week
can be obtained by holding that image in your
mind’s eye and letting it work its magic on you.
Clues to your biggest question can be found in the
same way.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): British actor John Gielgud
was considered one of the greatest Shakespearean
actors of the 20th century. He also won an Oscar
for his supporting role in the film Arthur. He once
said, “People like to hear me say ‘shit’ in my gor-
geous voice.” You Leos are likely to have encoun-
ters with experiences like that in the coming week.
Vulgarity and elegance may arrive wrapped in the
same package. Expensive wizardry may use cheap
effects. High-quality performances might deliver
base emotions. None of these mixed messages will
cause you problems as long as you’re discriminat-
ing enough to separate the dross from the essence.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In America’s presiden-
tial election of 2000, Al Gore received 543,816 more
votes than George Bush, the candidate who was
declared the new commander-in-chief. I foresee the
potential for a comparable event occurring in your
life soon. An apparent loser may, by some techni-
cality or twist of fate, become the winner. A
stronger, more popular option could be eclipsed by
a second choice. There’s a 50-50 chance you can
prevent this aberration from coming to pass, but
only if you act quickly and with unshakable integri-
ty as you take a fierce stand for what’s fair and
just.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Columnist L.M. Boyd
told the story of Mark Gubin, a photographer whose
business was located near Milwaukee’s airport. A
lover of pranks, Gubin decorated his roof with a
giant sign that read “Welcome to Cleveland.”
Countless passengers arriving in Milwaukee by
plane were amused and confused by the greeting. I
suspect that a similar event will occur in your life
this week, Libra. As you arrive at your new destina-
tion, you’ll get signals that lead you to believe
you’re not where you thought you were. Ignore the
misdirection.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): To an optimist, the
glass is half-full. A pessimist says the glass is half-
empty. But in the eyes of an engineer, the glass is
twice as big as it needs to be. For the foreseeable
future, Scorpio, it makes perfect sense for you to
think like an engineer. Resist all temptations to be
either an optimist or a pessimist. Purge any reflex
you have to indulge in hope or fear. Instead, main-
tain a neutral, objective attitude as you try to see
things exactly as they are, then make a calm, rea-
sonable response.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): British
physician Joseph Lister (1827-1912) was a pioneer of
antiseptic surgery. He even built an unwieldy
machine called the donkey engine to spray steamy
disinfectant on patients he operated on. His most
famous patient was Queen Victoria, whose armpit
had an abscess that he healed. She rewarded him
with the royal title of baronet, which is like a
knighthood except that it can be passed on to
one’s heirs. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because
there’s a good chance you’ll receive an opportunity
comparable to Lister’s. One of your talents could be
called on by an unexpected source — maybe even a
higher power or VIP. If you do well, you’ll get a
long-lasting reward.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My friend
Glenn suffered a thumb injury while playing soft-
ball a few years back. Though it eventually healed,
the scar tissue made the thumb less mobile than it
had been before. Three weeks ago, he got stung by
a bee in the exact spot where the original wound
occurred. It swelled up for a couple days, then
receded. Since then, he has enjoyed a dramatic
upgrade in the thumb’s freedom of movement. I
predict a comparable scenario for you in the com-
ing days, Capricorn. A fresh boo-boo won’t last
long, and — wonder of wonders — it will ameliorate
an old boo-boo.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When I traveled
from San Francisco to Amsterdam with Maureen
some years ago, we arrived at our hotel in a state
of radical sleep deprivation. The concierge told us
our room wasn’t quite ready, and suggested we go
kill some time at a nearby tourist attraction. We
took his advice, walking a few blocks to the History
of Torture Museum. There we found devices like the
Judas Cradle, the Heretic’s Fork, and the Chair of
Spikes. Being horrified and grossed out helped
keep us semi-awake, which was good, but we kept
nodding off and dreaming of being tortured, which
wasn’t so fun. And yet soon we were back at the
hotel, safe and sound, catching up on our lost rest.
I predict that in the coming week, Aquarius, you
will have a series of experiences with an uncanny
similarity to ours.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In her book Women
Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes
suggests that we all need to periodically go cheer-
fully and enthusiastically out of our minds. Make
sure, she says, that at least one part of you always
remains untamed, uncategorizable, and unsubju-
gated by routine. Be adamant in your determina-
tion to stay intimately connected to all that’s inex-
plicable and mysterious about your life. At the
same time, though, Estes believes you need to keep
your unusual urges clear and ordered. Discipline
your wildness, in other words, and never let it
degenerate into thoughtless chaos. It’s especially
important for you to act on all these principles in
the coming weeks.
HOMEWORK: What do you like best about
the part of yourself that is least evolved and needs
most work? Testify at www.freewillastrology.com
You can call for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per
minute. Touchtone phone 18 & over c/s 612-373-9785
44 OCTOBER 13, 2005
Commercial Rentals
WANTED: ACUPUNCTURIST to share exist-
ing office. 2 well equipped treatment
rooms, reception area, parking. 342-1186.
BEAUTIFUL SMALL office space. 100 sq. ft.
with private entrance and shared waiting
room. Located in Eugene’s historic
Broadway and Pearl district. $200/mo. 520-
9166.
Apts. for Rent
STUDIO APARTMENT, quiet and private. Pet
friendly. 460 Monroe. Rent $450/mo utils.
included. Call 338-2190.
THE TREEHOUSE. An extraordinary 1-bdrm,
1-ba nest with view and light in all 4 direc-
tions. Deck, loft with skylight, beamed ceil-
ings, W/D. 1558 Charnelton Alley behind 1563
Lincoln. $675/mo. + utils. Dennis, 514-0625,
343-6645.
Homes for Rent
2-BDRM DUPLEX, South Jefferson St.
Fireplace, hookups, garage, deck with view.
Avail. Nov. No pets, no smoking. $725/mo.
689-1738.
1-BDRM, GREAT neighborhood. Pets?
$600/mo. 343-0721.
LIVE SURROUNDED by nature 15 min south
of Eugene on 11 shared organic acres. 2,500
sq. ft. historic mansion; 4-bdrm and office,
huge kitchen, great views, wood, pellet
heat, $975/mo. No smoking, no dogs, lease,
secuirty. Potential for small rent exchange
for skilled carpentry. 342-5027
CHARMING, 3-BDRM near river and bike
path. Wood floors gas stove, gas and wood
heat. Garden space in large , shared back-
yard. Shared laundry hookups. Prefer long
term gardeners. No smoking, no dogs. Avail
Nov. $900/mo. 689-1738.
RIVER ROAD area 2-bdrm, 1-ba. Gas, electric
heat. Recently remodeled. Large fenced
yard, hot tub, deck, organic separate studio
and sun room, carport, most pets okay.
Avail. Oct. 15th. $995/mo. First, last and dep.
461-4486.
2 NICE rooms open, FM Cats manufactured
home. Total $890/mo. Landscaped. West
Springfield, near bus line. Paul, 541-543-
5227.
RIVER ROAD area. 3-bdrm, 1.5-ba duplex,
W/D. Bus and bike path. $223/mo + utils. NS,
NP. 688-2828.
ARTISTS COMMUNITY. Permaculture proj-
ect. 1 bdrm. with small studio in shared
house. Gallery, garden, greenhouse. $350 +
dep. and utils. NS. 683-0626.
3 BDRM. 1/2 ba. Large yard, 2440 Adams St.,
Eugene. Partially remodeled, nice floor
plan. Cute place. $900/mo + dep. 942-5846.
SHARE 3-BDRM, SE Eugene. Off busline,
trails. Wood stove, garden, W/D. NS, NP.
$275/mo + utils., last, $100 dep. 431-6658.
PRIVATE, TREED hideaway! 2-bdrm, 2-ba,
vaulted sky lit cottage. New kitchen, bath.
Huge, fenced, quiet yard. Near gardens, bike
bath. Excellent refs required. $825/mo. 541-
390-5228.
2950 ALDER. 3 bdrm. W/D, dishwasher.
Share with 2 people. $375 + share EWEB.
342-6038. Leave a message. Pets okay.
2-BDRM duplex. No pets, off street parking,
storage. 374 1/2 West 4th. $575/mo. 343-1178.
SHARE ELEGANT downtown apartment
with one other. Huge room available. 14’
ceilings. $275 plus utils. 344-8443.
Shared Housing
BEAUTIFUL ACREAGE 15 miles NW. Garden,
river, cable, more! Room $300/mo +. 998-
2604.
ALL AREAS. Roommates.com. Browse hun-
dreds of online listings with photos and
maps. Find your roommate with a click of
the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com
(AAN CAN)
MATURE ARTIST, progressive values, per-
sonal growth. Hardwood floors, just paint-
ed, huge deck, fireplace, dishwasher, W/D.
River road area. $310/mo + 1/3 utils. 541-689-
2540.
SHARE BIG home and yard near river bike
path. Mature life and fun loving person
wanted, addiction free. NP, NS. $350/mo.
Cindy, 688-4134.
SHARE PEACEFUL country living 8 miles
from downtown. Bright cozy cabin, great
views. Share kitchen, bath with friendly
folks. $335/mo + 1st, last, dep. 344-4766.
QUIET HOUSE in great neighborhood to
share with one other. Light filled rooms.
Nice yard. Pet negotiable. $395/mo + 1/2
utils. Avail now. 683-5375.
NICE, CLEAN, quiet 2 bdrm. duplex to share
with 1 person. W. 12th St. neighborhood. No
drugs, smoking or pets. $330/mo + $250
dep., 1/2 utils. Contact Tim, 687-6988.
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541-431-7317
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Highlands Brew Pub
Edgewood Ctr. (40th & Donald)
Eugene, OR 97405