BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nitrogen compris-
es 80 percent of the Earth’s atmosphere, but plants
can’t access it in its gaseous form. That’s a prob-
lem, because plants need nitrogen to live. Luckily,
there are five million lightning strikes on our planet
every day. The fierce heat they generate compels
nitrogen to blend with oxygen, thereby formingni-
trous oxides, which are soluble in water and carried
into the ground with the rain. There the plants drink
up the nitrogen with ease. The moral of the story,
Aries, is that without lightning, there’d be no plants,
which means that you are utterly dependent on the
lightning for your sustenance. In the coming weeks,
you will receive abundant evidence of how much you
need metaphorical kinds of lightning as well.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “People who
do not break things first will never learn to create
anything,” says a Tagalog proverb. I’d like you to
remember that in the coming days, Taurus. It may
be quite important for you to make mistakes. Your
path to the next stage of mastery might even
require you to take some detours into mediocrity. In
fact, I bet that one of the keys you stumble on while
you’re off-track will eventually allow you to unlock a
higher expression of your unique genius.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In his commence-
ment address to Stanford’s graduating class, Apple
CEO Steve Jobs reminisced about the time, many
years ago, when he was sacked by the company he
started. “It turned out that getting fired was the
best thing that could have happened to me,” he said.
“The heaviness of being successful was replaced by
the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure
about everything. It freed me to enter one of the
most creative periods of my life.” In telling
you this, Gemini, I am definitely *not* predicting
that you will lose your job. My purpose is to encour-
age you to cultivate the frame of mind Jobs
described. Here’s another angle on the
perspective I hope you’ll make into your permanent
modus operandi: “In times of change, learners
inherit the earth,” wrote Eric Hoffer, “while the
learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal
with a world that no longer exists.”
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Every now and
then I go down to the booth at the Santa Cruz Beach
Boardwalk where you can find out how fast you
throw a baseball. You hurl the ball as hard as you
can, and a speed gun tells you your score. In all the
years I’ve tested myself, I have never topped 65
miles per hour—until this week, when I posted an
astounding 74 mph, which is 14 percent higher than
ever before. I’ve been feeling lately that my
strength and physical energy have been exceptional,
and this was hard proof. The astrological omens
suggest it’s because those of us born under the sign
of Cancer, like me, are currently enjoying a time of
maximum vitality and rapid growth. Take advantage,
my fellow Crabs.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The odds against getting
a royal flush in poker are 649,739 to 1. The odds
that Elvis Presley is still alive are 1,000 to 1. The
odds that the Loch Ness monster exists are 150 to 1.
And the odds that Elvis will someday crash a UFO
into the Loch Ness monster are 14 million to 1. If
you would have asked me a month ago, Leo, I’d have
given you similar odds, 14 million to 1, that you
would ever walk on water while closing a big deal on
your cell phone and seeing a double rainbow appear
over a cloud that resembles your face. But as of
today, the odds of that happening have dropped to a
mere 10 to 1. Magic time begins now.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the 1933 movie
*King Kong,* the starring gorilla appeared to be 25
feet tall—so humongous that airplanes had to shoot
him down from the top of the Empire State Building.
But the model used to depict Kong in that era of
primitive special effects was just 18 inches high. This
discrepancy is similar to the gap between your per-
ceptions of your personal monster and the truth
about it, Virgo. It may seem to be a giant, but in
reality you could hold it in the palm of your hand.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Thousands of years
ago, inhabitants of India thought the Earth was car-
ried by giant elephants, which in turn were balanc-
ing on the back of a huge turtle, which itself was
perched on top of a stupendous snake. We laugh at
this belief now, but many of us have equally prepos-
terous ideas about the way reality is constructed. I
mention this, Libra, because it’s the best time in
many moons for you to revisit your own versions of
the elephant-turtle-snake theory. I promise you
it will be liberating. So examine any unwieldy delu-
sions that are at the foundation of your personal
worldview. Look for evidence that supports your
theories about the nature of life, and if you
can’t find any evidence, abandon the theories.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mountains
are not always as static as they seem. Due to the
collision of two tectonic plates, for example, the
Himalayas are growing at the rate of about a half-
inch per year. And in 1972, the flooding of an under-
ground river moved a mountain in the Caucasus
range over a mile in eight days. Likewise, Scorpio, a
situation you have always believed to be fixed and
inert is now susceptible to change.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Bureaucrats at an agency in Belfast have banned the
word “brainstorming” from official usage. They say
it’s insulting to people with epilepsy. In the future,
they’ll use the phrase “thought-showers” to
describe meetings that are designed to stimulate
fresh ideas. I don’t care what term you employ,
Sagittarius, as long as you just do it. You’re overdue
for prolonged encounters with mind volcanoes,
imagination avalanches, and creativity hurricanes.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I am
crossing years tonight to light an answer,” writes
Keith Althus in his poem called “Poem.” That should
be your theme in the coming week, Capricorn. Take
a deep journey into your past, armed with good will.
Before you go, inscribe in your mind’s eye a vision
of something that symbolizes the power to illumi-
nate, like a torch, lantern, or star. As you wander
through your memories, becoming reacquainted with
all the turning points that helped make you what you
are today, pay special attention to lingering ques-
tions from the old days that never got properly
resolved. With the help of your torch, lantern, or
star, light some new answers.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lip Venom
is a gloss you apply to your lips to make them look
pouty and bee-stung. The secret ingredients that
provide the swollen effect seem to be cinnamon
and ginger. While it would definitely be fun to see
how people would react to you if you had the look of
an icy supermodel, I don’t recommend you try the
product anytime soon. For one thing, it’s not a good
time, astrologically speaking, for you to try cosmet-
ic augmentation or any other form of masking your
true essence. For another thing, it’s essential that
you give off warm, engaging, intimate vibes in the
coming weeks. There’s a lot of help available to you
out there, and the best way to draw it all the way in
is to be inviting, not icy.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “When truth is
buried underground it grows,” wrote French novelist
Emile Zola, “it chokes, it gathers such explosive
force that on the day it bursts out, it blows up
everything with it.” I’m delivering this as a warning,
Pisces, not as a prediction. In fact, if you act quick-
ly, you have an excellent chance of ensuring that
Zola’s scenario doesn’t unfold in your own life.
There are important truths that are buried, but if you
dig them up and expose them to the fresh air now,
they won’t explode in a few weeks.
Homework: Where’s the place you’re
half-afraid to travel to even though you know it
would change your life for the better? Write
www.freewillastrology.com.
Real Estate
ALTERNATIVEREALTOR.COM
Eugene’s
Alternative Realtors. Free email listings. Toll
free, 866-706-3283 or local, 521-DAVE.
FREE EMAIL listings! Kathy Ging, M.A., G.R.I.,
Socially responsible Realtor, 19 years of eth-
ical practice, networks local self-reliance!
Pilot Realty, LLC; local 729-1444; 800-944-
0130. kathy@kathyging.com
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Commercial Rentals
THERAPISTS: ARE you seeing clients regu-
larly in Portland and looking for a great
consultation space? We offer a unique
arrangement where you can enjoy the con-
venience of sharing an elegant office in a
restored SE neighborhood mansion, then
spend the night in the top floor suite and
have the use of the kitchen and bath while
you are there overnight. Flexible individual
arrangements. Please inquire at
teressa@campavalon.org or 541-345-0756.
MASSAGE STUDIO open to share. Nice
space near the fairgrounds. $150/mo includ-
ing EWEB. Call Kristy, 345-7724.
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate adver-
tising in this newspaper is subject to the
Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to
advertise “any preference, limitation or dis-
crimination based on race, color, religion,
sex, handicap, familial status or national
origin, or an intention, to make any such
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Familial status includes children under the
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ing custody of children under 18. This news-
paper will not knowingly accept any adver-
tising for real estate which is in violation of
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that all dwellings advertised in this newspa-
per are available on an equal opportunity
basis. To complain of discrimination call
HUD toll-free at 1-800-669-9777. The toll-
free telephone number for the hearing
impaired is 1-800-927-9275.
VERY NICE, quiet 2-bdrm townhouse style
apt. Wood floors, vaulted ceilings, W/D, NS.
$680/mo + dep, incl water, garbage. 485-
3417.
FOR PEOPLE who care. Large, 1-bdrm apt.
suite, walk-in closet. $580/mo. includes
utils, cable, laundry, parking. NP, NS. 2490
Tandy Turn, Ferry St. Bridge. 232-3530, 686-
1771.
UNIQUE ONE+ bdrm. $665/mo, pets OK with
fee. 490 W 4th. Studios also avail from
$415/mo. For details call 338-2190.
Duplexes for Rent
2-BDRM DUPLEX, South Jefferson St.
Fireplace, hookups, garage, deck with view.
Avail. August. No pets, no smoking.
$725/mo. 689-1738.
Homes for Rent
QUIET LITTLE guesthouse for, storage, loft,
grad student preferred, no Section 8, pets,
smoking. $495/mo, last, dep. Utils, trash
paid. 541-686-4528.
Apts. for Rent
COLLEGE HILL 2 room studio across from
park, wood floors, tiled bath, private patio,
quiet, NP, NS, $420/mo. 687-0438.
NEW SE Hills large, beautiful 1-bdrm. Nice
view, kitchen has cherry cabinets, crown
moulding, W/D hookups, lots of storage.
$650/mo incl utils. 431-7077.
1-BDRM, SKYLIGHT. Quiet mixed-use build-
ing. NS, W/D, AC, cat OK with deposit. South
Eugene. $490/mo + deposit. 2833
Willamette. 520-8278.
TWO-BDRM upstairs in home. Separate
entrance. Very quiet, private, secure. Fully
furnished. All utils paid. Easy walk to UO,
downtown. $650/mo. 683-1644.
COZY, 2-BDRM home hoping for a gardener
to love it. On quiet, dead-end street. Close
in, off River Rd. Wood floors, hookups,
garage, fenced back yard. No smoking,
small pet considered. $725/mo. 689-1738.
CUTE 3-BDRM near river, bike path, down-
town. Wood floors, W/D hookups, front
porch, minimal yard. No smoking, no pets.
$850/mo, Avail now. 689-1738.
HUGE STUDIO, quiet, private, secluded,
newer, close, efficient, well lit, yard, garden,
laundry, NP. $565/mo+. 344-1964.
SWEET TWO-bdrm apartment, daylight
basement of duplex. Near river, bike path,
and rose garden. Small fenced backyard,
garage storage. No pets, no smoking. Avail.
August. $475/mo, 689-1738.
ARTIS0T’S COMMUNITY: Private, large stu-
dio apartment. Garden and greenhouse. NS.
$550/mo + dep, utils. 683-0626.
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