TOWN
A
BY ANY OTHER
NAME
EW SLOGAN CONTEST RESPONSES BY ARIA SELIGMANN
I
n response to the state of Oregon’s
new slogan, “Oregon: We Love
Dreamers,” we ran a little slogan
contest of our own. What would
Eugeneans say of their own little
slice of geography?
The answers came in, not in gushes or
droves, but from a few very creative souls
who got the wheels turning and offered us a
feast of choices.
Hats off to Ali Gartlan, “Nancy,” “Irene,”
Christopher Logan, Don Webb, Linda and
Martin Sage, Benton Elliott (and his dog,
Gus), Troy Frahm, Leslie What, Rachael
Dillman, Jean Horsfall, Jake Wilson, Michael
Chuko, Jeff Koenig and John Jordan-
Cascade for their creativity and participation.
Some slogans were givens and some were
repetitive, and most were classifiable, but not all.
So here they are, in their very own topical array, a
whole new batch of bumpersticker fodder.
RAIN
The rain was a no-brainer, inspiring com-
ments on Ken Kesey, “We Read in the
Rain,” and musical associations, “Where
the Rain It’s Plain is not Mainly in
Spain,” and The Rain in Lane Can
Really be a Pain.”
Green, hairy comments included “Where
a Rolling Stone Gathers More Moss,”
and “Where Moss Grows on All Sides
of a Tree.” We received one homage to our
great summers: “A great place to live —
from September to June.”
COUNTER CULTURE
Both conservatives and liberals weighed
in on Eugene’s counter-culture. From the ob-
vious lifestyle stuff: “Where the Counter-
Culture Grew Up (sort of);” and
“Hippie.com;” to more specific examples of
the freedoms we engage in: “Where the
‘Grass’ Grows Greener;” “Where
Hippies Make a Profit;” and “Can You
Spare a Smoke, Bro?” the comments
came pouring in, including the more generic
“Where the Dead Head,” and “Land of
100,000 Hippies.”
Hair drew feedback: “Greatest
Concentration of White-Boy Rasta
Dreads in the Known Universe;” and
“White People with Dreadlocks;” as did
our fashion statements: “Capital of Tie-
dye-stan;” and “Where Ties Dye.”
But the ‘tude was perhaps best summed
up by this short quip: “The Hippie Vibe is
Still Alive.”
POLITICS
Eugene is well known for its political
chasms. Ralph Nader chided EW during an
interview last year, “Aren’t you the town that
calls itself progressive but has one of the
most conservative city councils in the coun-
try?” Ouch. A tough one to respond to, but at
least we can laugh at ourselves, as these slo-
gans show: “We’re Broadminded, but
We Ain’t Stupid;” “Insular and Proud
of It;” “Where We Argue till the Ducks
Come
Home;”
“Where
We
Dogmatically Question Dogma;”
“Where We Tolerate Everything but
Intolerance;” “Where Tolerance and
Respect for Diversity is Welcome as
Long as It’s What We Agree With;”
“So Democratic Nothing Gets done;”
“Conspiracy Theory Capital of the
U.S.;” “Nothing’s Certain but Our
Hate of Bush, Government and
Taxes;”
and
“Sustainable
Disagreement.”
We dare not quibble with those responses.
Ironically, it was Eugene humorist Leslie
What who got serious on us: “It’s Your
City. Vote.”
ing grounds appeared in several categories,
but in the unique slot, the legacy of Kesey
and his cronies, Tim Leary and Ram Dass, is
felt the most. Quips included: “Always a
Great Notion,” and “Sometimes a
Great Notion;” as well as “Tune in. Turn
on. Drop by;” “Be Here Now;” and a sum-
mation of those thoughts: “Where the
1960s Meets the 21st Century.”
Not everyone wants to be labeled an acid-
dropping freak, however, and some weighed
in on the cultural chasm that sometimes oc-
curs: “Are Those Protesters or Duck
Fans?” “Where East Meets West (on
Willamette St.);” “The Springfield of
the New Millennium;” and “Where
Ecotopia Lies Down with the Beast.”
While those slogans point out our differ-
ences, others poked fun at our homogeneity:
“Caucasians for Cultural Diversity;”
and some didn’t miss the opportunity to re-
flect on our boontown image: “Well, at
Least We Have One Library.”
More Duck love is apparent in the slogan
“Green and Gold and Gray” and round-
ing out the category is one for the peaceful
people: “Open Minds, Open Hearts,
Open Arms.”
boy.
UNEMPLOYMENT
The next category of responses reminds
us of that old joke: Why do hippies move to
Eugene? Because there aren’t any jobs.
Sometimes it’s healthy to be able to laugh.
Slogans in this category included:
“Unemployment Means More Here;”
Food
Stamps?” “Clean
“Got
Environment. Good jobs. Dream On;”
“Yeah, Slooooww Growth … Just the
Way the Caterpillar Likes It!” and “We
Write and Weave, Paint and Pot, but
Seldom Sell.”
TRANSPORTATION
If everyone’s so broke, then how do they
manage? One answer might be the paucity of
fancy cars you see cruising through town.
Keeping that ol’ beast going forever is cer-
tainly a matter of pride — for some. Can’t
you just see these slogans slapped on the back
of the bus? “VW Campers Last Longer
Here;” and “Greatest Concentration of
VW Microbuses in the Galaxy.”
If all of your friends seem to driving the
same white Forester lately, you’re not alone.
One slogan points out this phenomenon:
“Home of the Subaru Station
Wagon.” Meanwhile, we’re still scratching
our heads over: “Not Your Father’s
Oldsmobile.”
Whatever you say.
CLAIMS TO FAME
Funny, but except for a couple of com-
ments relating to Duck spirit and the green
and gold, nobody mentioned anything about
the UO.
Academics? What?
We’ll let the expanded UO marketing de-
partment figure that one out.
Meanwhile, the following suggestions
came in to point out our éclat: “Ken Kesey
Tripped Here;” “Rip van Winkle Slept
Here;” “Former Home of the
Willamette Valley;” and one that smarts:
“We Tore Down the Animal House.”
CATEGORY BUSTER
Last but not least, we received one cate-
gory-defying entry that perfectly sums up our
bi-polar existence. Where you stand is clear
from your attitude toward this slogan; whether
you view it as positive — or sarcastic:
WHERE MOSS GROWS
ON ALL SIDES OF A TREE
UNIQUE EUGENE
TREES
“Come for the Rain, Stay for the
Hippies.”
Of course, the hippies and the conserva-
tives and the Ducks all amount to one big,
weird conglomeration. Several respondents
didn’t pass up the chance to note Eugene’s
uniqueness: “An Entertaining, Eclectic
Eddy,” and “Alternative is Just the
Beginning!”
The fact Ken Kesey made this his stomp-
You’d think there would have been more
commentary on Eugene’s trees, or lack
thereof, or controversy over, but no, no
human noted them at all. In fact, only one
submission falling into this category was re-
ceived, by an interested dog named Gus:
“Always a Tree on Which to Pee.”
We’re glad that was from a dog and not a frat
So there it is. Your town; your words.
We’re still wrestling over which are the best
slogans and will announce them next week.
Thanks for all your submission. Got some
late slogan inspirations? We’ll run the best of
them as letters to the editor.
Happy New Year to all.
DECEMBER 31, 2003 9