Men of Eugene
Calendar boys and Kesey contributors.
By Bobbie Willis & Jamie Passaro
EDITOR’S NOTE: Hey, Eugene, where are you, and what’re you doing for fun, for work, or just to pass the time?
This new, occasional column is part observer and eavesdropper, part day-after gossip, reflecting upon the Eugene scene.
Mr. Hubba Hubba
It all started with two young women and a lie: During a recent night out carousing, Cheri
Browne said to her friend Courtney Anglin, “Courtney, tonight we’re going to have the best idea
we’ve ever had …”
The idea turned out to be a white lie the two fabricated to get the attention of one hunky
“Rory.” “We’re going to do a calendar,” they said. “You would make a great model.” But there was
no calendar, no modeling opportunity — just a good looking fellow and two women working the
vibe.
Quick call to their friend Crystal Walen, local promoter with Realkidz Productions. “We met
this cute guy and kind of promised him a modeling gig …”
Walen: “First, I’m like, ‘Good luck. Where is there money to make a calendar?’ But the more I
thought about it, the better an idea it seemed.”
So Friday after Thanksgiving, the three women — along with the crew at John Henry’s —
pulled together The Men of Eugene Booty Pageant, searching out a dozen local he-men for an
actual Men of Eugene calendar. (Ironically, original muse Rory opted out.)
In her press release for the event, Walen writes, “[The] men that run our bars and [coffee
shops], diners and restaurants are invited to flaunt their goodies and talents.” Despite the holi-
day weekend, the event drew a sizeable crowd and 20 local contestants vying for a calendar
spot.
The pageant competition, bacchic debauchery according to all, included three questions
(such as, “How do you like your eggs?”) and an opportunity for each man to display a talent. No
tap dancing or overwrought renditions of Für Elise here: Acts ranged from a bartender break-
ing a board over his head to a body piercer juggling lemons in the nude (“I didn’t drop a single
lemon!”) to a break-dancing VRC retail manager to — this writer’s favorite — a gentleman who
could remove his boxers without removing his pants. The audience voted for the top 12 men,
and it was Mr. John Henry’s (John Henry himself) who walked off in cowboy hat and cummer-
bund with the most votes.
Twenty-one-year-old contestant David Hansen arrived with friends and family, including his
grandmother, in tow. When asked what he learned from his participation, Hansen replied, “Well,
I thought it was interesting, but I probably shouldn’t have brought my grandma.” (Calendars
will be available before the new year — contact realkidszproductions@yahoo.com for more
info.) — Bobbie Willis
Brought to You by…
If you alphabetized the list of supporters and contributors to the Kesey statue fund from
Jean Auel to Bryce Zabel, you’d probably recognize your neighbor alongside Neil Goldschmidt;
the String Cheese Incident alongside the Stanford English Department. You’d have Barry Lopez
alongside Hattie Mae Nixon (who met Kesey at a 4-H campout in 1950) alongside Larry
McMurtry alongside Kenny Moore; Wavy Gravy alongside Bill Walton alongside Rolling Stone
Editor Jann Wenner alongside Cynthia Wooten and Tom Wolfe.
It’s that Kesey synchronicity, plus hard work, plus love. Working from her home office, Cathy
Briner, the former deputy director for planning and development for the city of Eugene, along
with Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer Brian Lanker and the Lane Arts Council, helped raise
more than $120,000 — from a former UO wrestler’s $2 contribution to Phil Knight’s $25,000.
Briner spent hours tracking down celebrities and, in doing so, acquired tidbits that read bet-
ter than Star Tracks in People Magazine. “It’s been really amazing that you can write a letter
to someone and they’ll turn around and send you a check,” said Briner over tea last week. The
money is still coming in, and with each check, a story of meeting Kesey or being changed by his
words. Briner tears up when she talks about it.
There was the time she received a reply from Paul Newman with a check for $10,000. There
was Kesey’s fraternity brother, who called from Nevada saying he’d think about contributing.
He called again to find out what Lane Arts Council’s administrative fee would be. He wanted to
donate $1,000, plus that amount, to ensure the thousand would go to the memorial.
There was former UO President Dr. Robert Clark, who had written the letter of recommenda-
tion for Kesey to the Stanford Creative Writing Program. He was one of the first contributors.
Then, the Monday after the unveiling, he walked into the Lane Arts Council office and wrote
another check for $5,000.
Though it was reported in The Register-Guard and on KVAL that Jack Nicholson sent a
check, he didn’t. Briner sent him a letter, but he never wrote back. Briner wonders if it might
have had something to do with Kesey having wanted Gene Hackman to play the role of
McMurphy in the movie version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
Out of all the letters, e-mails and calls, Briner says there were only two definite no’s, both
from people condemning Kesey’s past drug use. Many others wrote to say they wanted to con-
tribute but couldn’t.
Kesey’s grandkids helped out by making laminated, brightly tasseled bookmarks with
a photo of Kesey in a starry shirt and his quote, “People think love is an emotion. Love is
good sense.” They sold them at the unveiling and made nearly $200. — Jamie Passaro
4 DECEMBER 11, 2003
TO THE EDITOR
NO-GROWTH SILLINESS
In your 10/30 “Slant” column, you refer to
Jack Roberts’ economic development ideas
as “obsolete” because they will “draw more
people to our valley” and “even 1 percent
growth” will destroy the livability of our
community.
Hold the presses, EW, I’ve got breaking
news for you. The Willamette Valley contin-
ues to grow. No amount of blind, no-growth
silliness is going to stop it. During our current
economic recession, in-migration has contin-
ued unabated. Even without jobs, our area
grows. According to LCOG’s Region 2050
study, our area will double in population to
over 500,000 by 2050, regardless of eco-
nomic development policy.
Job growth through business recruitment
could provide welcome relief to the over
12,000 current residents of Eugene and
Springfield who are out of work and looking
for a job. Creating new jobs would also retain
and attract something every healthy commu-
nity needs: families. Families provide support
for schools, libraries, parks and social serv-
ices. Families have an obvious stake in the fu-
ture and provide community volunteers and
support for community-based organizations.
Your no-growth strategy would most
likely not stop or even slow growth. Growth
would continue. But without job creation, it
would likely be limited to people who don’t
need or don’t want jobs. Nothing wrong with
those folks, of course, but we need diversity
in our community and we need citizens with a
stake in the future. We should work diligently
to create jobs that put our citizens back to
work and support Oregon families. The eco-
nomic development ideas expressed by Jack
Roberts are just exactly what this community
needs if we are to accomplish that goal.
Bob Warren
Eugene
STINKING DUCKS
I have been a fan and avid reader of
Eugene Weekly for a few years now. I espe-
cially appreciate the hilarious comics and of
course the honest reporting and event calen-
dars.
However, I am at a loss as to describe my
feelings about Ducks Illustrated. You see,
I’m a student here at OSU. Although it was
fun for a while to see all those losses listed on
the Duck’s schedule this year, as a proud
Beaver, it’s insulting and an affront to have to
see Ducks Illustrated week after week.
Ethical questions aside, however, what a
waste of resources to include all those inserts
for everyone in Corvallis.
We don’t need your stinking Ducks
Illustrated! I’m not going to stop picking up
the publication every week, but I just have to
get this off my chest.
Thanks and keep up the (otherwise) great
work!
Tim Nam
Corvallis
CLASSY CARTOON
Great “Viagra” cartoon (11/26) … would
be right at home in a public restroom stall.
Keep up the high class and soon the edito-
rial content will be on a par with that same
venue.
Dan Schmieding
Eugene
WEP REDESIGNED
A recent column by Mary O’Brien (“Wise
Collaboration,” 10/9) stated that environ-
mentalists had succeeded in stopping the
West Eugene Parkway. She wrote that collab-
orative effort in the local environmental
movement includes “Protecting the
Willamette Valley’s last wet prairie wetlands
from an unneeded five-lane highway.”
While wet prairie is an extremely rare
ecosystem, the west Eugene wetlands are not
their “last” location. The WEP would not be
five lanes wide. And, the Oregon Department
of Transportation just completed a nearly
year-long, half-million dollar redesign of the
WEP.
The WEP will be dead when the money
appropriated for it is used for other projects