BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): This may
sound crazy, but the best way to attract good luck in
the coming week is to experiment with doing the
opposite of what you usually do. For instance, you
could act as if limitations are fantastic opportuni-
ties. Instead of indulging your impulses, you can
question them — lightheartedly, of course. Rather
than leading everyone into interesting temptation
with your fiery enthusiasm, you could be a medita-
tive follower who listens well and tries out other
people’s daring plans. Any other ideas?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The next
couple of weeks will be an excellent time to purge
any nagging karma that has been haunting your
love life. You’ll be ready to move on to new romantic
frontiers once you clear away the residue that has
been subtly burdening you. To achieve the proper
spirit of rowdy fierceness, I suggest you learn the
following country music songs and belt them out
now and then: “You Done Tore Out My Heart And
Stomped That Sucker Flat,” “Get Your Tongue out of
My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye,” “How Can I
Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?,” “I Wouldn’t Take
You To A Dawg Fight, Cause I’m Afraid You’d Win,”
“I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well,” and
“I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): This is your
official too-much- of-a-good-thing warning. To pro-
tect and preserve the sweet progress you’ve
enjoyed in recent weeks, make sure that abundance
doesn’t tip over into gross excess. How? Refuse to
become a slave to your good ideas. Don’t let your
triumphs lead to exhaustion. Avoid expressions of
generosity that are wasted on the recipients or
motivated mostly by the urge to impress people.
You can keep all your well-earned rewards, dear
Gemini, if you’ll start setting graceful new limits
now.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Most
practitioners of the healing arts believe in taking a
gradual approach. Psychotherapists and acupunc-
turists, for example, typically see their clients once
a week, theorizing that even deep-seated problems
have to be undone slowly and gently. Some maver-
icks take a more radical approach, however. One
acupuncturist I know has her clients come and stay
at her clinic for six consecutive days, during which
time she administers a fresh treatment every two
hours. This is the kind of approach I recommend for
you right now, Cancerian. You’re on the verge of
curing a certain longstanding imbalance, and
intense, concentrated attention is the best way to
do it.
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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I shopped at a local
supermarket for months before striking up a con-
versation with Wendy, one of the check-out clerks.
“How was your weekend?” I asked her one
Monday. “I worked at my two other jobs,” she said.
I was surprised, having assumed her career con-
sisted entirely of tallying grocery purchases. “I’m a
psychotherapist at a group home for disturbed
teens,” she continued, “and I’m trying to finish my
PhD dissertation.” I blushed in embarrassment for
having misread her so thoroughly. As she processed
my order, we had an interesting exchange about
adolescent angst and the politics of psychotherapy.
I suggest you make Wendy your inspirational sym-
bol this week, Leo. May she remind you to dig
beneath the surface and uncover the deeper truth
about everything you think you have figured out.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “The fox
knows many things,” said the ancient Greek poet
Archilochus, “but the hedgehog knows one big
thing.” Twentieth-century philosopher Isaiah Berlin
used this thought as an organizing principle in dis-
cussing types of writers. Hedgehogs like Dante and
Plato yearned to explain life’s apparent chaos with
a single, all-embracing theory, Berlin believed,
whereas foxes like Shakespeare preferred to revel
in the world’s messy multiplicity without feeling a
need to unify it all in one system. My long experi-
ence with astrological types has convinced me that
most Virgos tend to be foxes. In the coming days,
however, I advise you to try out the hedgehog per-
spective. It’ll ensure you don’t miss the forest for
the trees.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Where exactly
does happiness come from, ask David Meyers and
Ed Diener in their article, “The Science of
Happiness,” published in The Futurist magazine. Do
you experience happiness primarily through being a
good person or contemplating the meaning of life?
From indulging in pleasure or knowing the truth?
From preserving comfy illusions or purging yourself
of pent-up rage and sadness? All the above? Let
these questions be the starting point for your own
meditations on the subject, Libra. It’s a perfect
moment to get very serious about defining what
brings you joy and making concrete plans to harvest
more of it.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The sci-
ence newsletter, “Mini-Annals of Improbable
Research,” did a poll of its readers on the question,
“Does reality exist?” Forty-two percent answered
yes, while 31 percent asserted that it most certainly
does not. The remaining 27 percent were undecid-
ed. A few of the latter believed that their reality
exists but no one else’s does. Two people said,
“Yes, reality exists, but you can’t get to it.”
According to one respondent, “Reality exists only
when it is really necessary.” Remember that line,
Scorpio, because it will be quite necessary for your
reality to exist in the coming weeks. Here’s another
response to the poll that you should make your
own: “Reality especially exists right after a thunder-
storm.” I predict that your reality will become vivid
and deep once your metaphorical tempest ends in a
few days.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.
21): Fate is conspiring to suck you into an intensive
behavioral modification program. The goal: to weed
out the wishy-washy wishes and leech out the luke-
warm longings that are keeping you distracted from
your burning desires. Here’s the paradoxical formu-
la that will be at the heart of this process: If you try
to maintain the illusion that you’re not losing your-
self, you will in fact lose yourself. But if you surren-
der and agree to lose yourself, you will break
through to a new level of communion with the deep-
est, most eternal part of yourself.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
Nice guys finish last. So proclaimed the crusty old
baseball player, Leo Durocher, who was famous last
century for his rough play and dirty tricks. His once-
wicked insinuation has, 50 years later, devolved into
a decadent platitude. It needs an update. As you
enter a phase when it will make sense to become
more strategic, Capricorn, try on the following for-
mulas for size: Nice guys finish last because they
follow all the rules by rote. Nasty guys often don’t
even finish because they break the rules by rote.
Smart guys and riot grrrls win because they get
away with inventing new rules that update the
meaning of the ever-evolving game.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Would you consider acquiring a three-foot-long dou-
ble-edged sword like the one Beowulf wielded in his
famous battle with the monster many centuries
ago? A blade resembling King Arthur’s Excalibur
would be fine, too, as would one modeled after
Glandring, which belonged to the wizard Gandalf in
J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. You won’t need
this weapon to defend yourself from physical attack
in the coming days, Aquarius; that’s not why I rec-
ommend it. Rather, I suggest you use it as a magi-
cal prop in a ritual designed to rouse your warrior
spirit. Hold it in front of you as you visualize yourself
scaring off your inner demons and cutting away the
inessential concerns that are bogging you down.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): This may
be the time your descendants will tell stories about:
the turning point when you outwit an old nemesis
and undo an ancient knot, freeing you to finally
begin fulfilling your life purpose in earnest. On the
other hand, this may be the moment when you
shrink back from a challenge similar to one that
many generations of your family members have
faced. If that’s what happens, your descendants will
be lacking an important clue when they encounter
their own version of the ancestral puzzle many
years from now. Which will it be, Pisces? Answering
the call to adventure or refusing it?
What Halloween costume could you choose to help
you activate a secret or dormant part of your poten-
tial? Testify at www.freewillastrology.com
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OCTOBER 16, 2003 33