BY KELLLY O’BRIEN
Follow-Up Flops
Summer of sequels may leave you yawning.
I
f you’re looking for one word to sum up
this year’s summer movie line-up that
word is sequel. With movies such as X-
2, The Matrix Reloaded, Charlie’s Angels:
Full Throttle and Terminator 3: Rise of the
Machines, it seems that Hollywood is hop-
ing that if it worked once, it will work again.
Alas, it proves untrue in at least two cases:
Terminator 3 and Full Throttle.
Terminator 3 is the latest installation in
the Terminator series. Its predecessors are
classics, considered must-see material by
sci-fi fans. Unfortunately, this sequel doesn’t
live up to that must-see reputation.
John Connor (Nick Stahl), future leader
of the human resistance in the war against
the machines, again finds himself between
assassin robots — one sent to kill him and
one sent to protect him. Once he figures out
which is which, he sets out with his sweet-
heart (Claire Danes) to stop a nuclear apoca-
lypse — same old, same old.
The Charlie’s Angels legacy is not as
great, therefore the standards for the sequel
not as high — but that doesn’t keep Full
Throttle from failing to meet them.
Both films use gratuitous
nudity, violence and cameo
appearances to varying
degrees of success.
The Angels (Cameron Diaz, Drew
Barrymore and Lucy Liu) are at it again,
fighting dumber villains and wearing
skankier outfits than even the first movie had
to offer. What was successful about the first
one was its infectious levity and its clever
disguises. This time the humor is either
forced or stupid and the disguises serve only
to reveal cleavage.
Traditionally speaking, Terminator 3 and
Full Throttle would never fall into the same
category, one hinged on bombs and big
stompy robots and the other on boobs and
big stompy go-go boots. However, there is
one key element that ties them together —
their overwhelming gratuity. Both films use
gratuitous nudity, violence and cameo ap-
pearances to varying degrees of success.
Take, for example, this scene from Full
Throttle: The Angels, in their effort to fight
evil, must somehow gain entry to a ware-
house full of antiques and artifacts. To do so,
they smuggle themselves in inside a statue of
three angels (how clever) and break out once
inside the warehouse. This would be cool
and clever if it weren’t for the fact that they
do it, inexplicably, in the nude.
In the first 20 minutes of Terminator 3 we
see the latest robot model, the TX, zapped
back in time. As per the last two movies, the
robot modeled after the human form arrives
in its time-bubble completely naked. This
particular model of killing machine, how-
ever, is played by supermodel Kristanna
Loken. Truthfully, Loken doesn’t do a bad
job as the unstoppable TX, but her unclothed
arrival feels deliberate, obvious — even a lit-
tle skanky.
Death defying stuntwork and mind
numbing violence also make their marks in
these films. In Full Throttle, the key word is
“implausible.” Diaz, at a motocross track,
gets her dirtbike shot out from under her.
Instead of falling to the ground, she does an
impossible midair cartwheel and lands on
the back of Barrymore’s bike. In the first
film, such silly stunts were funny; this time
around they just seem tired, even a little stu-
pid.
Terminator 3, at least, does not succumb
to the temptation of midair acrobatics.
Instead, director John Mostow just destroys
everything in sight. Picture Arnold hefting a
bulletproof coffin in one hand and wielding a
massive gaussrifle in the other. It’s hard not
to laugh.
Ludicrous stunts aside, both films take
advantage of the built-in depth that sequels
have to play on nostalgia through cameo ap-
pearances. Full Throttle brings back Angels
veteran Jaclyn Smith from the original ‘70s
television show. Unfortunately, this cameo
serves only to remind the audience of how
much better the television show was.
The Terminator 3 cameo is slightly more
successful. It comes in the form of T-1, the
original Terminator robot. Rather than mak-
ing the audience long for the prequels, it suc-
ceeds in reminding us of how good it is to
have believable computer graphics.
Unfortunately, no matter how good the
effects are in either Full Throttle or
Terminator 3, both films will make you wish
you had just rented the original.
ew
F R I. , J U LY 2 5 T H
W . O . W . H al l - 8t h & L i nc ol n
A LL A GE S • 5 b u ck s
w i th g ue st s
T oa d in t h e H o l e
OPENING OR RETURNING:
Bad Boys II: Martin Lawrence and Will
Smith reunite with producer Jerry
Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay
for another in this summer of sequels.
Smith plays Mike Lowrey and Lawrence
plays Marcus Burnett, two Miami nar-
cotics detectives assigned to stem the
flood of designer ecstasy into Miami. R.
Cinemark. Cinema World.
Freaky Friday: Remake of the 1976
Disney film. Directed by Mark S.
Waters. Dr. Tess Coleman (Jamie Lee
Curtis) and her 15-year-old daughter,
Anna (Lindsay Lohan), are not getting
along. One Thursday evening, their dis-
agreements reach a fever pitch — Anna
is incensed that her mother doesn’t
support her musical aspirations and
Tess, a widow about to remarry, can’t
see why Anna won’t give her fiance
(Mark Harmon) a break. Everything
changes when two Chinese fortune
cookies cause mystic mayhem. PG.
Sneak preview, Fri. 7/18 only. Cinemark.
Cinema World.
How to Deal: Directed by Clare Kilner.
Stars pop singer turned actress Mandy
Moore. Laura Sinagra of The Village
Voice writes, “Moore’s whinier here
than in churchy weepie A Walk to
Remember, but playing opposite Trent
Ford, who, as her rakish beau, affects a
chin-down, three-quarter boffo stare in
every shot regardless of circumstance,
her spunky resolve still brands like hon-
esty.” PG-13. Cinemark. Cinema World.
Johnny English: When all but one of
MI5’s top agents are killed in an explo-
sion, it is left to the inept Johnny
English (Rowan Atkinson of Mr. Bean
fame) to try and solve who has stolen
the crown jewels from the Tower of
London. Accompanied by his assistant
Bough (Ben Miller), Johnny bungles his
way through one scrape after another.
Directed by Peter Howett. PG.
Cinemark. Cinema World.
Lizzie McGuire, The Movie: Disney
comedy about a girl on a class trip to
Italy who is mistaken for an Italian pop
star. Stars Hillary Duff, directed by Jim
Fall. PG. Movies 12.
Osmosis Jones: Directed by Bobby
and Peter Farrelly with others, this live
action/animated comedy goes inside
the body to the sites of the most yucky
sites. Stars Bill Murray, Molly Shannon
and the voices of Chris Rock, David
Hyde Pierce and Laurence Fishburne.
PG. 10 am, 7/22 only. Movies 12.
Raising Victor Vargas: Indie film
directed by Peter Sollett. Tender,
romantic comedy about young bucks
who want to players in their Lower
East Side neighborhood. J. Hoberman
of The Village Voice writes, “School is
out and romantic intrigue is in. All over
the neighborhood, persistent guys are
madly scheming to get next to tough,
sassy girls. Cute and vain 16-year-old
Victor (Victor Rasuk) is pursuing pretty,
diffident “Juicy Judy” (Judy Marte).”
All if this plays against the Old World
Dominican values of Victor’s grand-
mother (Altagracia Guzman), who’s just
trying to raise a good, Domican boy.
Inspired performances by these fresh,
new faces. R. Bijou. See review this
issue.
Films open the Friday following date
of E W publication unless otherwise
noted. See archived reviews at
www.eugeneweekly.com.
CONTINUING:
Anger Management: Adam Sandler
plays a man who must undergo anger
management. His shrink, played by Jack
Nicholson, moves in with him. Also stars
Marisa Tomei. PG-13. Movies 12.
Archaeology Channel International
Film & Video Festival, The: Discover
lost civilizations, sunken galleons,
buried treasure — even a cave of glow-
ing skulls — and the true tales of mod-
ern African bushmen, all here in
Eugene as part of the first internation-
al archaeological film and video festival
to be held in North America.
www.archaeologychannel.org for
schedule and information. July 16-19,
McDonald Theatre. Online archives.
Bruce Almighty: Jim Carrey, Morgan
Freeman and Jennifer Aniston star in
this tale of a at TV reporter, who has a
really bad day, rages against God and
receives more than he expected. PG-13.
Cinemark.
Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle: McG
again directs the angels — Cameron
Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and
ex-angel Demi Moore — to save the
government’s witness protection pro-
gram, from which classified info has
been stolen. Written by John August.
PG-13. Cinemark. See review this
issue.
Chicago: Broadway spectacular direct-
ed by Rob Marshall stars Renee
Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones as
killer dames behind bars who compete
for tabloid coverage. With Queen
Latifah, John C. Reilly and Richard
Gere. 2002 Academy Awards for best
picture, supporting actress Zeta-Jones,
art direction, sound, editing and cos-
tumes. PG 13. Movies 12. Online
archives.
Dumb & Dumberer: Prequel is subti-
tled When Harry Met Lloyd and stars
Derek Richardson and Eric Christian
Olsen as the 1994 Dumb and Dumber
duo in high school. Directed by Troy
Miller, with Eugene Levy, Cheri Oteri
and Luis Guzmán. PG-13. Movies 12.
Finding Nemo: Pixar (Toy Story) pres-
ents this computer-animated fantasy of
two Clownfish, Marlin and his son
Nemo, who get separated in the Great
Barrier Reef. Written and directed by
Andrew Stanton (A Bug’s Life), with
voices by Albert Brooks, Ellen
DeGeneres, Willem Dafoe, Geoffrey
Rush, Allison Janney. Very highly rec-
ommended. G. Cinema World.
Cinemark. Online archives.
Holes: Adventures digging holes at
Camp Green Lake for Stanley, who
comes from a strange family that’s
been cursed for generations.
Embarrassingly, Jon Voight, Sigourney
Weaver and Tim Blake Nelson co-star.
PG. Movies 12. Online archives.
Hulk, The: Director Ang Lee’s action-
adventure adaptation of the Marvel
Comics series hits darker notes than
the usual superhero comics. Scientist’s
(Eric Bana) inner demons change him
after a catastrophic experiment.
Written by James Schamus, it also
stars Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte,
Josh Lucas and Sam Elliott. PG-13.
Cinemark. Online archives.
Identity: Ten travelers caught in a rip-
snorter of a storm seek refuge at a
creepy motel in the desert, and sure
enough they begin to die. Directed by
James Mangold, stars John Cusack,
Ray Liotta and lots of screaming
women. R. Movies 12.
In-Laws, The: Andrew Fleming directs
Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks as
the reluctant fathers of the bride and
groom. PG-13. Movies 12.
Italian Job, The: Mark Wahlberg leads
a heist that’s double-crossed by one of
his crew. Charlize Theron plays a safe-
cracker in this cool revenge movie.
Also stars Edward Norton, Mos Def and
Donald Sutherland. Highly recommend-
ed for its pure entertainment value.
PG-13. Cinemark. Online archives.
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen:
Based on the comic book miniseries by
Alan Moore. Matthew Tobey in All
Movie Guide writes, “The League of
Extraordinary Gentlemen takes place
in an alternate universe, where the
characters of several literary classics
exist in reality. If that wasn’t enough,
they’ve been assembled together in
1900 by Queen Victoria as a team of
evil-fighting heroes.” Directed by Steve
Norrington. Stars Sean Connery, Peta
Wilson, Shane West, Stuart Townsend,
Naseeruddin Shah, and Tony Curran.
PG-13. Cinemark. Cinema World.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and
Blonde: Reese Witherspoon is back as
Elle Woods, Harvard Law, class of 2001,
now in DC on behalf of pet animal’s
rights. Luke Wilson is still her
boyfriend, as is her manicure person,
Jennifer Coolidge. Sally Field and Bob
Newhart join the cast. Charles Herman-
Wurmfeld directs. PG-13. Cinemark.
Cinema World.
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers:
Directed and re-imagined by Peter
Jackson, part two of J.R.R. Tolkien’s
trilogy continues. New characters, a
surprise return and great battles.
Director Peter Jackson’s second mas-
terpiece. Very highest recommenda-
tions. 2002 Academy Awards for sound
editing, visual effects. PG-13. Movies 12.
Online archives.
Man Apart, A: If you’ve seen the trail-
er, you know that Vin Diesel is an
undercover cop you don’t want to mess
with, especially after some sorry drug
dealer scum breaks into his home. The
New York Times’ Dave Kehr calls it “a
bread-and-butter action film.” Directed
by F. Gary Gray. R. Movies 12.
Owning Mahowny: Richard
Kwietniowski directs this film set in the
1980s. Stars Philip Seymour Hoffman
as real-life Canadian Dan Mahowny, a
young Toronto banker whose assistant
manager status puts him in charge of
millions of dollars. The movie opens:
“Some folks believe everyone has a
public life, a private life and a secret
life…” Mahowny’s public banker life col-
lides here with his private obsessive-
compulsive behavior, and his secret
gambling addiction — he embezzles
money from the bank to wager on
sporting events, in card games and
Atlantic City gambling sprees — big
binges for this outwardly modest,
reserved character. Minnie Driver plays
Mahowny’s devoted girl, John Hurt
plays a casino manager. R. Bijou.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The New
York Times says, “… director Gore
Verbinski’s penchant for logistics —
combined with … producer Jerry
Bruckheimer’s desire to spend like a
drunken pirate … melts into an often
frenetic, colorful and entertaining
comic adventure that often seems to
be using ‘Butch Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid’ as a template. The daz-
zling, high-flying silliness is quite an
achievement. The movie is better than
it deserves to be, given its origins: a
ride at Disneyland and Disney World.”
Stars Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush,
Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley.
PG-13. Cinemark. Cinema World.
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas:
DreamWorks animated pirate adven-
ture tale stars the voice of Brad Pitt as
Sinbad, Catherine Zeta-Jones as
Marina, and Michelle Pfieffer as the
goddess of chaos. Joe Fiennes plays
Proteus, a rival pirate. Directed by Tim
Johnson and Patrick Gilmore. PG.
Cinemark.
Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines:
Jonathan Mostow directs, and Arnold
Schwarzenegger comes back to save
the world from annihilation once again.
John Connor (Nick Stahl), is 18 now,
and he’s fighting off a female killer
cyborg from the future, (Kristanna
Loken). R. Cinemark. Cinema World.
See review this issue.
Twenty-eight Days Later: Danny
Boyle (Trainspotting) directs this really
scary horror film set in a post-cata-
clysmic future, where a deadly virus
sweeps through earth’s population in a
few weeks, and leaves people in a
chronic state of killer rage. Stars
Christopher Eccleston, Cillian Murphy,
Naomie Harris, Megan Burns and
Brendan Gleeson. Advance word is that
it’s a great movie. R. Cinemark.
Two Fast Two Furious: John
Singleton directs this sequel action
adventure about street racing. Stars
Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Cole
Hauser, Eva Mendes. PG-13. Movies 12.
View from the Top: Bruno Barreto
directs this 1960s era comedy about a
girl’s dream of becoming a first-class
international flight attendant. Stars
Gwyneth Paltrow, Christina Applegate,
Mark Ruffalo and Candice Bergen. PG-
13. Movies 12.
Whale Rider: Winner of the World
Cinema award at Sundance 2003, Niki
Caro’s Maori drama about a spunky
girl, played by Keisha Castle-Hughes),
who decides to show her beloved but
authoritarian grandfather that she is
able to lead the tribe, despite being a
girl. A wonderful, inspiring drama that
features the exquisite New Zealand
coast. A don’t-miss movie. PG-13. Bijou.
Online archives.
X-Men 2: The next link in the evolu-
tionary chain? Directed by Bryan
Singer, stars Patrick Stewart, Hugh
Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry,
Famke Janssen, James Marsden and
more, lots more. PG-13. Movies 12.
Bijou Art Cinemas (686-2458)
Cinema World 8 (342-6536)
Cinemark 17 (746-5202)c
Movies 12 (741-1231)
NEW RELEASES ON VIDEO
Releases subject to change.
Available the Tuesday following date
of EW publication, sometimes soon-
er. See archived movie reviews at
www.eugeneweekly.com
Ararat: (2002) The Village Voice
writes, “Atom Egoyan’s Ararat
addresses a genocide that predates
the invention of the term: the
slaughter of 1.5 million Armenians by
the Turkish Ottoman army during
World War I. …This conflicted epic,
sprawling in scope yet painfully
aware of its limitations, widens the
frame … to give Egoyan’s reserva-
tions free rein.” Stars Christopher
Plummer, Charles Aznavour, Elias
Koteas, Arsinee Khanjian, Bruce
Greenwood, Eric Bogosian.
Read My Lips: (France, 2002)
Directed by Jacques Audiard. Carla
is a long-time employee of a proper-
ty development company. Loyal and
hardworking, Carla is beginning to
chafe at the limitations of her
career. But as a nearly deaf 35-five-
year-old woman, she is not sure how
to climb out of her humdrum life.
Into her life comes Paul Angeli, a
thief, fresh out of jail and very good-
looking. Stars Vincent Cassel,
Emmanuelle Devos, Olivier Gourmet,
Olivier Perrier, Olivia Bonamy,
Bernard Alane.
Next week: Daredevil, The Quiet
American, Solaris, I Love you to
Death, Spider, Till Human Voices
Wake Us.
EUGENE WEEKLY JULY 17, 2003 21