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The SIÉndy Post
Editorial & Opinion
Von Braschler Publisher
C a ro lin e D uff O ffice M onager
Dan D illon, Editor
Scott N ew ton News Editor
SANDY OREGON THURSDAY JANUARY 14 1982
Beware of phoney calk for school
Parents would be wise to screen
their daughters* phone calls, if a
phoney-sounding man who claims
to be with the school board asks to
speak with the child.
The phone pervert worms his
way on the line to make sug
gestive remarks and solicit atten
dance at a girls' club His bogus
calls have been plaguing school
districts from Canby to Lake
Oswego, Molalla and now Sandy
At least five such calls have
been reported to local school of
ficials. Local grade school ad
m inistrators have written a letter
of warning to parents The local
high school is cautioning its stu
dent body directly. So far, local
residents have been wary enough
or informed enough about actual
school board membership to call
his bluff
He’s called more than one area
on the same day. The whole ugly
thing’s been going on for several
months now, but a rash of obscene
calls only recently hit this area
At times he's used the name ‘ ‘Mr
Jackson’ ’ from the board of
education.
“ There's no such person here,’*
Sandy Elementary Schools Supt
said of the impostor “ Don’t ac
commodate him. Report the call
to the police.”
Dangerous bridge needs checkup
That little Salmon River Bridge
on Highway 26 near Brightwood is
a killer motorists should keep
close eye on
A double fatality where two
women lost their lives there over
during holidays isn’t an isolated
case of trouble on the bridge The
Post has learned of at least three
other lesser incidents there in the
same two-week span
The ^.enario sounds much the
sarr? ,n most of the incidents «n
castbound vehicle starts up the
bridge, but the vehicL* suddenly
veers wildly to the left. Hoodland
Fire District, whose emergency
medical technicians generally a r
rive first on the scene, note the
new concrete bridge sets up
quickly with ice to provide peren
nial danger.
Apparently all this is news to
the state Highway Division who
admit all bridges become tret
cherous with ice, but show only
one major accident there in 1978
and none in 1980- their most re
cent compilation at hand.
Residents talk of other near
tragedies at Salmon River Bridge
and give the little strip of highway
lots of respect. That means d riv
ing very slow up the icy incline or
even around the bridge north
through Brightwood.
Whether this mountain bridge is
structurally dangerous with a
flaw in drainage or elsewhere on
ly can be answered by a qualified
engineer Persistent trouble in the
bridge’s short five-year history
suggests state highway engineers
and the county traffic safety com
missioner take a look at it.
Lives that could be saved at a
dangerous bridge certainly are
worth the short time a structure
inspection might take them.
Letters to the editor;
‘Forget Neil Goldschmidt’
Unfortunately I glanced
at the front page of that
“ fish w rap ” newspaper
called The Oregonian The
poll printed in their Sunday
issue is an early move on
the part of this liberal
publication to gain momen
turn for their choice for the
n ext
g o v e rn o r,
N e il
Goldschmidt
For some reason the
population of Portland may
like this idea, but hopefully
the rest of the state will
have the wisdom to see the
folly of electing this in
dividual Any politician not
on the side of taxpayer is
not worthy of office
Elimination of a budget
deficit should be handled
by budget cuts, not tax in
crea ses
Should
Goldschmidt “ mistakenly"
1 m - elected, we better be
ready for the squeeze Mr
Neil has the typical liberal
philosophy of buying votes
with promises of govern
ment money Naturally,
this money comes from the
ta x p a y e r
So consider
carefully your choice for
governor
Another priority issue is
the money policies of the
Federal Reserve for the
past .AO years
It has
amounted to shifting our
real money into “ fiat cur
rency." which makes it
easier for them to keep
printing as much as they
need to finance th e ir
worldwide schemes Just
think All these years labor
and business considered
each other the enemy
W ake up
lad ie s and
g en tle m e n
Y o ur re a l
enemy is the F ed eral
Reserve Bank
It's time the House id
Representatives asserted
their authority and put the
rlarnp on the Fed eral
R eserve, p utting th eir
' money p o licy'
back
where the ( onatitution re
quires it to ba How many
n tixem have read the ( on
stitutlon lately1’
A little more free enter
prise is what we need plus
a sound dollar to invest in
those enterprises All a per
son has to do is took at Mr»
lam or the Soviet Union Io
»«e the» government con
trot of tree market doesn t
work
O ur p a r tic ip tio n in
government doesn't stop at
the voting booth. Find out
w hat those people in
Washington I) (' are doing
If we don't like it, let’s run
the rascals out
Ralph A Sandercock Jr
Sandy
Banfield tricky
Thanks to the Depart
ment of Transportation or
w hatever other agency
deserves the credit I would
like to compliment the peo
pie responsible for installa
lion of a new computer that
directs stop and cross traf
fic turning lights at busy in
tersectlons It makes drlv
mg much safer and the in
tersection easier and faster
to negotiate
On the other hand, the
public's reluctance to give
the
D e p a rtm e n t
of
T r a n s p o rta tio n
m ore
m oney
fo r
h ig h w a y
maintenance is beginning
to show Highways I 5 and
I 84. along with other main
highways, are tM-gmning to
deteriorate from excessive
wear because of lack of
maintenance
Recently an evening trip
from Sandy to OMSI in the
rain was frightening From
lack of maintenance, two
ruts are developing in each
of the main driving lanes
In rainy weather these
depressions fill with water
On the night in questions,
we were blinded by large
anxMints of water splashed
from these depressions on
to our windshield by pass
mg cars
The w ipers
couldn t handle such large
amounts of water
This condition is not
noticeable in dry weather
Next time you drive in the
rain, notice the ruts The
department employees are
ready willing and able to
correct this condition if the
public will realize lack of
money now means poten
tial accident conditions and
greater maintenance coata
in the future
Jack Travis
Sandy
Sympathy helps
We would like to thank
everyone (or extending
their arms and hearts out
to us during our time of sor
row To think that our boy
was here only 12 short
years and had touched so
many hearts' Words just
can not express how we
feel
Our thanks especially go
out to our families, friends
and Ken Hallgren Without
these people we never
would have been able to
take the hurt and pain in
side us
We had so many wonder
ful, kind friends to help
The Hood Chalet Mobile
Court, Scout Troop 662,
Simtustus neighbors and
Pete Carlson all extended
their love and help There
are so many that it is hard
to name everyone
Thanks again for the
many gifts of love and
donations for the Scouts
Charles A Lynne Fischer
Sandy
State shortfall a big budget problem
by JACK Z IM M E R M A N
Associated Oregon Industries
Oregon's record-setting 61st
Legislative Assembly appears
likely to establish yel another
new mark
It adjourned its regular bien
nial session last Aug 2, after
posting new records on length
and cost of regular sessions It
met again for roughly ighl hours
Oct 24 to conduct the record
shortest special session
Those same lawmakers again
come together in Salem Monday.
Jan 18, for what some observers
believe may become the longest
special session ever recorded
This second special session of
the cu rren t Assem bly was
forecast even before the regular
session a d jo u rn e d
A lm ost
e v e ry o n e knows the m ain
reasons The economy stinks, and
(he budget is out of whack
The economy is so bad. in fact,
estimated tax revenues to pav for
expenditures fall short about $240
million The state constitution re
quires that revenue and spending
must match, so Gov Vic Atiyeh
has called the Legislature to
make necessary adjustments
By itself, the adjustment pro
cess could take longer that the 23
days consumed by the longest
special session in 1967 The
economy that generates tax
revenue has been generating less
that anticipated for many mon
ths so long that state spending
repeatedly has been curtailed by
both
the
G o v e rn o r
and
Legislature Carving another
delinquent taxes He plans to pick
up the balance of some $98 5
million thre ih adjustments of li
quor inventory, operating ex
penses and the restoration fund
He advocates some $3 7 million
in additional spending to collect
those delinquent taxes, bolster
econom ic d nvelopm ent and
restore some positions on the
depleted State Police force
Altogether, the Atiyeh package
would produce $242 million with
an ending balance to $31 4
m illion
Reaction to his proposal has
been swift Minority Republicans
are only lukewarm
Majority
Democrats, most organized labor
and H ig her E ducation and
Human Resource advocates ob
ject loudlv.
Opponents appear not unified
Generally, however, they all ad
vocate additional revenue in
creases in place of Atiyeh s spen
ding cuts
Personally speaking
This ‘dancer’ a hoedown sensation
P ro b lem s, problem s, pro
blems My 1951 American College
Dictionary defines the word as
"any question or matter involv
ing doubt, uncertainty or difficul
ty ” Well. I ’ve got one
There is a lady in my life who s
a dancer Or what I really mean
to say is that I hops* she becomes
one
My potential dancer obviously
wouldn't be your normal every
day dancer No, siree She'd have
to be something just a bit dif
ferent. coming from my neck of
the woods on my side of the
mountain
Now I don't envision my dancer
making it too big jn the dance
world, nor would I expect her to
go to New York City to dance
herself on and off Broadway All I
would expect her to do is he able
to sit on a roost in my
chickenhouse every night
Confused’’ You see, my dancer
is a hen Yeah, that's right—a
chicken She’s got class, though
We, the employees ol
Dancer's a beautiful two-
Hood Machine Company,
legged, two winged banty She
would publicly like to com stands about 10 inches tall, has
mend and thank the Sandy midnight black eyes and is a top
Fire Department, Rescue notch egg layer She has seal-
Squad and Alpine Am
black feathers with an oil green
hula nee Service
shine
So what's my problem, you
Our employer, Frank
Geierman, suffered a ma
ask* My first problem is that
Jor heart attack Jan 5 here there's more than one problem
at our Sandy Plant In spite My second problem is that my
of adverse weather cond»
chicken can’t stand on a roost,
lions, all of the above agen
due to some horrible disease
cies were here in a very every chicken rancher dreads I
short time
think it's called the “ Not On My
Thanks to ail of their
Roost, You Don't!’ disease
hard work, they were able
Problem number three is that
Io save his life
she's living with me You heard
E m p lo y e e s of Hood me In fact, she's in my house
Machine Co
right now making herself right
at home
And my fourth big problem is
LETTERS POLICY
that my Grandma doesn t know
The Post asks that
yet that some chicken who can't
all tellers to the
even sit on a roost has been caus
e d ito r be ty p e d ,
mg me a lot of problems by mov
double-spaced and
mg in lock, stock and barrel
signed. I>eadllne Is
Granny, being in her eighties,
noon. Tuesday, l e t
may not take kindly to me living
ters »houid be ac
with a chicken on Mount Hood
c u ra l« ,
fre e
of
It's her dream that I settle down,
libelous remarks and
get married and have a couple
in good taste. This
kids- especially a boy to carry on
newspaper attempts
the fam ily name <as though there
to publish oil letters
aren't enough Jones already in
It receives and may
the world! That way, she hopes.
edit material Itgblly
I ’ll get normal and maybe even
to
ro o fo rm
to
end up in a story about the boy
g o id e llo e s . M u
next door who makes good
imam length is ZM
Now being one who'd rather
words
avoid problems than go find
J
them I decided not to tell Granny
Aid saves life
L eg ntaiive Report from the Stete Cepitet
f X C LU S IV E »0 Oregon s Weekly Ne*->pa
per* Iron« A w ocieled O e g o n Industrie»
$240 million from sparse expen
ditures cuts deeply into many
services long enjoyed by Orego
mans during balmier days
Gov Atiyeh last week announc
ed his plan to balance the budget
He is asking lawmakers on one
hand to accept reduction in basic
school support of $16 3 million
produced by enrollment declines
He also asked cuts of $28 1 million
and $11 million for higher educa
tion and Community Colleges
» respectively >. $68 million from
Human Resources. $10 million
from the Emergency Fund and
$13 6 million from other state
agencies
On the revenue side he pro
poses a one shot speed up of pay
ment by employers of employee
withholding taxes that would
generate $73 3 million this bien
mum He would boost beer and
wine taxes to bring in $3 6
m illio n
A tiye h a n tic ip a te s
another $17 4 new million from
more aggressive collections of
by MICHAEL P. JONES
about this odd live-in situation
and try to solve the “d u c ky“ pro
blems myself
How did I get mixed up with a
chicken, you ask* Well, it hap
pened about a month ago I was
catering a dinner of egg mash,
bread
crusts, crushed oyster
shells and over ripe tomatoes
from the drop box down the road
when I noticed her I really don't
how it happened, but she caught
my eye She was stumbling
around a nesting box
I knew she wasn t intoxicated,
since I don't feed my chickens
whiskey mash, as some mountain
people do Since the strongest
brew I was serving was fresh rain
water. I knew it had to he
something else
She must have stum bled
around the chicken coop for five
minutes, more resembling a tap
dancer than a wobbly chicken
Then she took to the air and land
ed on the roost for only a mo
ment When she came down, she
landed smack dab in the middle
of the chicken feed'
That just didn t set right with
the other hens Hansel, the Chief
Rooster in Charge of All Coop Ac
tivities. had his wings full, keep
ing the other hens off her There
w ere wings flap p in g , hens
squawking and feathers flying.
All this took place right in the
middle of a snowstorm of chicken
feed
Being of sound body but ques
tionable mind < you'd have to be
to step in the middle of a chicken
fight, which rates second only to
a turkey stampede*, I rescued
her I knew she was close to the
chicken coop in the sky. as she
lay limp in my arms Warmth
would be the only hope of saving
her
Moving the other chickens
aside to get the blessing of
Hansel, I carried her near-
lifeless body into my house I
fired up my old parlor stove with
a couple chunks of cedar and
waited for its warmth to do the
trick
It took only minutes before she
started to come around I laid her
in a box of hay. equipped it with
food and water and did the only
thing I could wait.
Two weeks passed before she
showed any significant progress
1 remember it was close to three
in the morning I had just return
ed from visiting a bear in a ca
nyon when I discovered she was
out of her box and on the floor
And like in the chickenhouse. she
was staggering around By this
time, she was not alone A
packrat was staggering with her
I looked more closely and realiz
ed they weren t just staggering,
but dancing Or should I say. try
ing to dance
Was I being conned? Had this
chicken taken advantage of my
hospitality*
I looked down at her now stan
ding in the middle of the room
The rat had long vanished with a
mouthful of dog food The lone
chicken only looked like a poor,
mixed up hen who wanted to be a
dancer so bad she injured herself
practicing too hard
I felt sorry for her Here she
was barely back on her feet, and
she was trying to dance again
Not only that, but she was danc
mg with the thief that has kept
me running around, looking for
food and valuables hidden in
strange places
Yeah I felt sorry for her She
didn t want much Just a few bar
nyard get together* where she
could do her stuff Really, she
was asking very little - just a lit
tle patience and a place to stay
Here was my chance to do
something for the arts I could
contribute to the dance I began
to feel more like a choreographer
than a mere part time chicken
farm er who gave a banty a place
to stay
The chicken danced like she
was drunk not only because her
legs were weak, but because she
didn't know how to dance
Suddenly I saw my calling
I
fantacized myself as a real
choreographer for a real dancer
Dancer first would be featured
at the local egg laying contest
Then she'd appear at a barn
dance and tear up the floor Then
we'd do a few local schools
Next we'd be featured at the
Clackamas County Fair, and then
at the Oregon State F air
The media would go crazy.
F la s h
bulbs
w ould
pop
everywhere we'd go We'd have a
big enough following to form a
fan club Of course, the National
Enquirer would feature us in
their scandals
After the dance circuit, dancer
would be strong enough once
again to sit on a roost Then we’d
retire She probably would find
herself a rooster and settle down
Of course, this all was just a
dream At least for the present
Ahead of us lay hard work, in
tense dedication and practice,
practice, practice
Dancer and I went to work
quickly She easily mastered tap,
jazz and modern dance Being
country by nature, disco didn't
come easily But of all the dance
sty le s and techn iqu es she
mastered, ballet became her
best To watch her fly through the
air. grin, dip and twirl all in one
motion was as captivating as
watching an eagle sour through
the air
Dancer, the onetime common
banty chicken, looked superb To
watch her dance was like wat
ching perfection at its best
My qualifications for teaching
a chicken todance. I admit, aren't
impressive Considering what
I've had to work with, however,
my resume should lie somewhere
between impressive and c ra zy -
After all, I taught my dog.
Freedom America Jones i his
real name) how to count, say his
ABCs and pronounce his name in
full
Then
th e re
was
the
housebreaking of two roosters- a
task my dancing chicken just
can’t seem to master I even
taught a wood duck how to
understand sign language and
demonstrated to an npposum how
you play dead.
So
w ith
th is
k in d
of
background, why shouldn't I in
vest time teaching a chicken how
to dance* After all. when was the
last time you saw dancing fleas*
Probably not for a long time
But here's a tip you can take to
the bank Fleas are out thia year,
and chickens are “ in.”
*