2 - SANDY (Ore.) POST Thurs., Feb. 24, 1977 (Sec. 2)
The Soul-searchers:
Giving, getting all part of being friend to aged
by Suzanne Ash mu n
“ Old age is a great thing when you consider the alter
native.”
With this note of concern laced with humor, the Rev.
Stuart Lindahl, chaplain at Fairlawn Care Center,
summarized the recent Project Compassion.
Ninety people from East Multnomah and Clackamas
county churches registered for the four-session workshop
aimed at being a friend to the elderly. Included in the
group were teens to retired.
One unifying idea emerged: It isn’t how long a person
lives, but how well.
Meeting with Lindahl recently to discuss Project
Compassion were Terry and June Williamson, Boring,
who attend Hoodview Seventh-day Adventist Church; and
Kathy Henton. Gresham, who attends Redeemer
Lutheran Church, host for the workshops.
Some participants came to learn more about how to deal
with their own parents. Others wanted to reach out as
Christians to those in nursing homes. SUH others wanted
to help elderly neighbors.
“ There are people perhaps 30 feet away who could
change an older person’s life.” Kathy said.
“The elderly need people younger than them,” Sandra
added. “ Often their contemporaries are gone.”
* ÇTfccxe ane people
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an olden person's feje. ' '
Kathy told of visiting Fairlawn with a Bible study group
and having a woman tell her that “ Friday is my birth
day.”
“ We’ll send her a card,” she promised.
Little things do mean a lot.
“ I am their chaplain and I see the patients all the time,
but when their own pastor comes to visit, that’s really
something.” the pastor said.
Another generation has the ability to “ put a high m ark”
in the older person’s day, Sandra said.
“ But don’t treat them like children,” she advised.
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"Daughters are taught to be mothers.” the chaplain
added, “ but not how to mother their parents. Soon the
parents can begin to maniqulate them, especially if the
children have guilt feelings. The kids can come unraveled
when the parent gets sick."
In some ways it is easier to work with a fam ily member.
“ Love is a memory and that’s how it grows,” Terry
said.
“ A fam ily member can remember what the elderly
person was when he or she was young—love and com
passion is strong from those memories.” Stuart said.
“ The staff doesn't have that close relationship—the
history—w ith the patient that fam ily and friends do."
The older person has many losses to deal with, June
said.
“ They’ve lost their loved ones. They can’t see as well,
hear as well, walk as w ell,” June said.
“ Couldn’t you imagine what it was like to be in solitary
confinement with all your friends gone?” Kathy said.
“The aged need a friend to remain in contact, someone to
see they go to the doctor, eat the right food. ’’
One way to reach out to the elderly is through the
“ friendly visitor" programs of homes like Fairlawn or
through the Sandy Senior Center.
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“ Friendly visitors can fill a void,” the chaplain said.
“ The person can check with the nurses to find out the
loneliest people in the facility who would respond best to
the visitor.’’
It isn’t always easy to become a friend to an older
person.
“ You have to earn their friendship,” Stuart said.
“ These people have been poked, pushed and plied w ith
pills and needles. The friendly visitor comes in and the
patient wonders ‘What are you up to?’ ”
The workshop participants outlined a list of Don'ts on
visiting the elderly, whether it be relative or just a friend.
—Don’t ask “ How are you?" They may tell you.
—Don’t ask what you can do. Maybe they’ll say ’Get me
out of here.”
—Don’t take something to eat without checking first
w ith the nurse.
—Don’t smother a person with embraces.
—Don't make promises you can’t keep.
—Don’t be unwilling to accept honest emotion.
—Don't try to change their politics or their religion. And
an • old corollary: don’t carry a big Bible.
—Don’t argue and try to change what they are.
—Don’t believe everything they tell you. (Most nursing
homes don’t poison their people and lock them in, the
chaplain said, although this is the impression some
patients give to visitors).
Creative listening is what a visit is all about, the church
people agreed.
“ If they want to tell you something really very personal,
let them” Kathy said. “ They may have worried about thii
for a long time and need someone to share it w ith.”
“ Perhaps the person needs to confess some g uilt—that’)
what a friend is for,” the pastor added. “ On the othei
hand, if you’ve got great news, share that, too.”
^Asuako* bq
smile.
Oddly enough, old people who have always said “ We're
a close fa m ily ” are the ones who suffer the most in in
stitutional care, the Lutheran m inister said.
" I f the fam ily begins to leave and spread out, it is the
independent person who makes it best.” he said “ Those
that have strong ties find that all that support system is
gone.
“ You—the fa m ily—are their props ”
When old age comes, all the barriers are down. It might
include some cussing
“ The independent, free-spirited person—that’s when
they’re healthiest,” Sandra said, “ although they’re
sometimes the hardest to work w ith.”
The church preaches stewardship, Lundahl said, and
that ought to be one reason to help people stay out of in
stitutions.
He pointed out only 5 per cent of the elderly are in
9 û ia ia ^Pefciscs
nursing care facilities while the other 95 per cent are out
in the community.
“ And about 50 of these are isolated out there without
fam ily or friends to help,** he said.
When physical ailments hit, social skills often go, too ••
“ When an older person has false teeth and they aren’t
working right, he might hesitate to go out to dinners
anymore They start regressing and the regression keeps
going,” Terry said
Old people shouldn’t be divorced from the community
where they live, the people agreed.
And working with the elderly isn’t just a matter of
giving. I t ’s getting, too.
"The more I do for the aged, the more 1 feel I ’m
receiving m yself.” Kathy said thoughtfully. “ The more I
know about getting old. the better I ’ll be able to cope with
old age myself If your turn comes up, you’ll know how to
handle it."
H |
r oar t
Touching is another way to reach out to the elderly
Kathy said.
“ Accept anger and feelings of loneliness. You’ve come
in to listen, not be a talking machine.”
Physiology and loneliness often m ix, determining the
health of the patient, Lundahl said.
“ There are people who are as alert at 90 as they wer<
when they were 50,” the pastor said. “ But they can cro6i
over the line from loneliness and start regressing into th<
past. They make the present null and void, although the)
can remember m minute detail what happened 50 year:
ago.”
The object of friends ought to be to keep the elderly oui
of nursing homes, the chaplain said.
“ There’s always going to be people who’ll need
facilities—we won’t lack for business,” he said. “ But
nice as the place is, it’s s till an institution.”
“ My grandmother, pardon the expression, wouldn’t
caught dead in a nursing home,” Terry said with a
1
•M
r
PROJECT COMPASSION, which was organized by the
Rev. Stuart Lindahl, right, drew people from a wide
variety of denominations. Discussing the workshops on
how to be a friend to the elderly are, from left, Terry
Williamson, Boring, Hoodview Seventh-day Adventist
Church; Sandra Rurkey. Fairview. Wood Village Baptist
Church; Terry's wife June; and Kathy Henton. Gresham
member of Redeemer l^itheran Church, which was the
setting for the program which drew M participants from
teenagers to retired.
Salem Scene
1957 session also sought surplus rebates
•m
Salem
Sr*
s» ns» I«
o
(Ed. note:
Scene
is a
legislative report from the
capital provided to weekly
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newspaper by Jack Zki-
merman of Associated Orepn
Industries.)
One sunny summer’s dayin
1957, State Treasurer ig
Unander remarked to Gw.
Robert Holmes that quite a It
of money was stacking up in te
treasury.
It might be a good idea p
inve stiga te
the
s u rp lt,
Unander
suggested,
a il
perhaps the state should give!
back to the people.
. The late governor check« I
out the situation with the Ti
_
Commission and it looked as if
Oregon would generate about
$74 m illion in surplus for that
biennium.
Unander’s rem ark even
tually led to a lengthly special
session
of
the
Oregon
L eg isla tu re , d u rin g which
lawmakers found a way to
refund over-collected taxes
The recollection is prompted
by introduction of House B ill
2038 in the current legislative
session now in its seventh week
in Salem. Sponsored by 24 of
this session’s 29 m inority
Republicans, the measure is
designed to return a current
budgetary surplus of some $170
million to taxpayers through
rebates amounting to as much
as $300
Prim ary sponsors are Sen.
Victor Atiyeh of Beaverton and
Rep. Roger M artin of Lake
Oswego, m inority leaders in
their respective chambers.
They claim taxpayers have
been overcharged and say the
state should return the money
to the people from whom it was
extracted.
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The comparison between the
current surplus and that of two
decades ago becomes even
more interesting when one
considers 74 million 1959 dollar
amount to about $174 million
today.
The situation differs from
that point on however, for
several reasons The General
Fund budget for the 1957 59
biennium ws $265 million —
compared with $2 billion for the
next two years.
In 1957, both parties wanted
to pare down the surplus and
give the taxpayers a break
GOP Unander came up with the
idea and Democrat Holmes
called the special session The
only real difference between
partisan attitudes was how
much.
Republicans were
plugging for a 30 per cent rate
reduction in personal income
taxes and Democrats proposed
a 10 per cent cut.
Although lawmakers pretty
well stuck to the business for
which the session convened, it
took 19 days to come up with a
compromise and the final
version was subjected to no less
than three conference com
mittees.
The way things worked out
the income tax was reduced
20 03 per cent with rates
ranging from 3 per cent on the
first $5oo of taxable income to
9.5 per cent on all over $8 000
That compared with old rates
ranging from 4 per cent on the
first $500 to 11.6 per cent on all
over $8,000.
Those 1957 lawmakers also
used part of the surplus to add
$10 per census child to the
has'c ?c1ho° l support fund and
voided the right of the state to
impose a property tax in case
other sources of revenue failed
to meet its needs.
Considerably more generous
than
Holmes
and
the
Democrats wanted, the solution
was branded in some circles as
a move that would lead to
enactment of a state sales tax.
Comparing reaction to the
surplus then and now also
differs because the state was
fairly used to coming up with
sizeable surpluses during
World War Il's employment
boom and for several war years
gave taxpayers sim ila r breaks.
In more recent times, budget
surpluses have ranged from
$12.5 million to as much as $190
million and have been utilized
as starting balances when
computing the next biennial
budgets. Adherents of this
system say the practice
provides benefits for taxpayers
by helping reduce the necessity
of tax increases.
Republicans this year don’t
go along with that theory
however, claim ing the personal
income tax always raises more
in each succeeding biennium
because of an expanding
economy and rising wages and
salaries.
R tp.
M a rtin
says the
legislature’s
Fiscal
Office
estimates the state w ill raise
some $500 m illion more in the
coming two years than in 1975-
77. He said that’s enough ad
ditional money to take care of
necessary state spending
without including the $170
million surplus.
»
M a rtin and many GOP
lawmakers have been beating
the rebate drum for almost s
year and several used it in
election campaigns. Majority
Democrats appear to be
marching to a different tune.
Gov. Bob Straub has other
plans for surplus and although
HB 2038 has been assigned to
the House Revenue Committee,
It has not been scheduled •