Dayton herald., October 20, 1905, Image 3

X--
'''
—
Why Refer
to Doctors
Because we make medicines
for them. We give them the
formula for Ayer’a Cherry
Pectoral, and they prescribe it
for coughs, edids, bronchitis,
consumption. They trust it.
Then you can afford to trust
it. Sold for over 60 years.
should ba in «very homa. I have used a gT«kt
deal of it for hard coughs and coIda, and I
know what a splandM medicine it la. I can­
not recommend it too highlv.N — M a AK B.
C ombm , Hyde Park. Maaa.
9
9
S a RSAPAMLU
O PILLS.
O MAIS VKMML
Ayer’s Pills greatly aid the Cherry
Pectoral in breaking up a cold.
Th® Difference.
There Is a good story told of Sir
Chleb-Chen'Lo Feng-lub, who was for­
merly Chinese minister to England.
Years ago he was secretary to Li Hung
Chang. He la a very able man, and
among other accomplishments speaks
and writes English perfectly.
The
story la given in "The Navy aa I Have
Known It”
Li Hung Chang Is reported to have
said to him, “I don't know how it 11
we send our men to Europe and Amer
lea, and have foreign instructors In
our colleges, as do the Japanese, but
we do not seem to derive the advan­
tage from tbeir Instruction which the
Japanese do.”
To this Cbleb-Chen Lo Feng-lub re
plied:
“That Is quite true. I was a class­
mate of the Marquis Ito in England.
He is now prime minister, and I am
your excellency's secretary.”
Turkish women do not come into con­
trol of tbejr private fortunes until after
marriage. Then they can diapose of one-
third of it without the husband’s consent.
1/
gOLÄ/NDE
“They say so, at all events,” was tha
; anaWer.----------
“And if two women have the same
wish ajid the sains hope and only one
man to say no, then it la still more likely
he will be detested?’’
“1 shouldn't say. lie had much chance
myself," Jeek Melville seid. “But what’s
now, fnwipipthfft.Ft ?**_
“Then I foresee something,” she said.
A f f W BARGAINS OF
Lin: ola County—91-A er»* Dairy Ranch, stock and
Airmiur •, H,SOO: 410-Acre Dairy Ranch and Fruit
Farm,
000: 80*Acre Fruit Farm. |l,S00. Yamhill
•Coua y—71-▲er* Farm, goud bun di ng « and fruit.
•4.W0. 4S-Aer« Farm, 13,000; 10-Acre Farm, 91,000.
—H att'la o dfc lwai y Ba w >iua wi ai i t—D d nond.
au>ra at Mt. John«, invoica. Full in­
formation at office, I275i Kcvrnth Ht. Room ft. Port
land, Oregon. Wa haveag< nia everywhere.
rot 'we shall have to ask
Mr. Italic to be very kind, and to lend
ue Duncan Macdonald for an evening.
Oh, not so very far away—not xo far
away as you imagine: because, you know,
when we hsve all gone up to Monaglen
House, snd we are all inalde, perhaps
seated In the dining room, having a littls
chat together—then what will you eay
if all at once you heard the pipes out­
side, snd yrtat do-you think Duncsn will
play,-on sueh an evening ax that, if not
Melville’s Welebme Home?”
(The end.)
Fruit Farm Bargain
On White Salmon River
«sw*s
Two hundred acres (40 leased school
land) with 1150 young fruit trees, most­
ly Spitzenberg and Newton apples. On
stage and R. F. D.'rcute; Ji mile from
school. Irrigating ditch covering gar-'
dens and small fruits. Stock and tools
with place. Price 14,000; I2.5Q0 down.
For further particulars address
H. M. AHRENS. White Salmon, Wash.
GEORGE ADE ON FOOTBALL.
How the Game May Be Played in a
Ladylike and Proper Manner.
J
CDUCfíT/ON
DUNCAN WILL PLAY “MELVILLE’S WELCOtffc HOME.
•
CtetNseut.rotem Ie us wlthttie namss
• and addresws of yourself and two of your
• friends. and the date when you wilt probably
• enter a business college. «nd we wllf Credit
• you with »5.00 on our »65.00 scholarship.
•-Our school offers exceptional advantages to
•“ students of Business, Shorthand. English, etc.
I
BUT IntTSUCTIOn—tOWHT TUITIOH.
• THB MULTNOMAH
f BUSINESS INSTITUTE
M. Ar. ^LBlN. Fare
•
m bírth ^Í t ,...... k
PORTLAND, ORC.
WET WEATHER COMFORT
“I have UMd jour FISH BRAND
Bliokor for f ive yoara and can truth­
fully aay that I never have had
anything giro mo ao much com­
fort and aatiafaction. Enclosed
find my order for another one."
it itomi with Tow'»
ÏM
Highest Award World’» Fair, 1901.
OUR GUARANTEE 1» BACK OF THIS
SIGN OF THE FISH
_____ .
A. J. TOWER CO.
Axton. U. 8. A.
10*1* CAHADIAH CO,
E/mfted
T oronto , C anada
.
g
8
/¿a «oLlO
“Take my
advice
i......
'6
>1 F AT OF THF kV II F A I
comes to you as nature’s
food, direct from the best
wheat fields of the wprld.
Actually the Meat of the
Wheat*—nothing added
nothing taken away.
Two Honest Pounds
In Every Package.
Speak to Your Grocer
PISO S CURE FOR
ro
(MIS «HIM All Hit fill*.
I Coesa
T sm ~ UOOÍ U<
in Ura«. Sola Hy uraeei.»»
M
C ONS.U MPTiON
r
OLD SORES^ nsive -
“Vary well. I thought ahe would do
that—if she heard It was In the market.
Very well, why ahouldu’t ahe go there
met more than one grand lady, who
hadn’t half her natural grace of man­
ner, nor half her kindliness of heart."
"It ia very aad then." aaid Yolande,
who waa afraid to drive him into a more
BY WILLIAM BLACK
decided and definite opposition. “Here Is
a poor woman who* haa the one noble
ideal—the dream of ber life—it baa been
her hope and her pleaaure for many and
many a year; aud when it cornea near to
completion, no, there ia an obstacle, and
the last obxtscle that one could have Im-
CHAPTER XXIV.—^Continued.)
later, were walking one evening on the agined. Ah. the ingrstitude of it! It
And at last Yolande grew \o fear the terrace of the Houae of Commons. It has been her romanee, it haa been the
woret. One evening ahe had aent for was a dusky and miaty night, though it eharm of ber life. She has no hueband,
her father, and ahe went downstairs and waa mild for that time of year: the heav­ no children, Sbe has, 1 think, not any
found him in the Bitting room.
*
1
And beca use you are
ens wer# overclouded; the lights va Went- relation left.
"Yolanda, you are aa 1 white fflT“a minster Bridge did little to dispel th- proud you do not care thyt you diasp-
ghost."«-
pervading gloom, though the quivering point her of the one hope of ber life—
Papa,” she said, keeping a tight guard
golden reflections on the black river look­ that you break her heart ?’V
over herself,
want you to come up- ed picturesque enough; and in this dense
”Ah, Yolande,” said he, with a »mile,
Btnirs with me. I have told my mother obscurity such members and their frienda “Mrs. Bell haa got bold of you with her
you were coming. She will see you; »he aa had come ont from the heated atmoe^ old Scotch songs—ebs has been walking
is grateful to you for the kind messages phere of the Houae to have a chat on; you through fairyland, aud your reaaoq
I hive taken to her. I—I have not ask the terrace were.only indistinguishable has got perverted. What do you think
ed the doctors—but I wish you to come figures who could not easily be recog­ people would say if I were to take away
with me. Ifo not speak to her—It is nized. They, for the most part, were thia poor woman's money frern her Ma-f
only to see you that she wants."
seated on one or other of the benches, tivee—or from her friends aud acquaint­
He followed her up the stairs; but standing about, or idly leaning against ances, If she has no relatives? It is too
he entered first ipto the room, and he the parapet; but these two kept walking absbrd. If I were the promoter of a
went over to the bedaide a fid took his up and down in front of the vast and ; swindling company, now, I could sharp
wife's hand, without a word. The mem shadowy- building and, the gloomy win­ it out of her that way ¡that would be
oriex of a lifetime were before him aa he dows, and t^fy were arm-in-arm.
1" all right, and I should remain gn lion-
regarded the emaciated cheek, and the
“A generation hence,” said one of pred member of society; but thi» won't
strangely large aud brilliant eyee; .but them, looking at the murky scene, all do—this won’t do st all. You may be
all the bitterness was over and gone around them, "Londoners won't believe' as dishynest as you like, sud so long as
now.
thet their city could hsye ever been as , you don’t give the law a grip on you.
"Georgs," said she, “I wish to make' black a pit as 'this IS.” 'J '
and> yo long as you keep rich enough,
sure you have forgiven me, and to aay
“But this geuenetloh will see the you ean have plenty of public respect;
good-by. You have been mother aa well change, will it not?” said hie companion, but you cah’t afford to become ridiculous.
aa father to Yolande—ahe loves you —
whoae voice had Just a trace of a foreign No, no, Yolande; if Mrs. Bell has bought
You—you will take care of her.”
accent in it. “You are going to make Monaglen, let ber keep it. I hope sb«
She dosed her eyes, ax if the effort to the transformation, are you not?”
will install herself there, and play Lady
“I?” .said he.laughing. “1 don’t know Bountiful—she can do that naturally
apeak had overcome her; but he still held
his wife’s hand in hie; and perhaps he how many are all trying at It: and who­ enough; and when she has had h«r will
was thinking of what had been, and of ever succeeds iu getting what Is really of it. then, if ahe likes to leave It to me
what—far otherwise—might have been.
wanted will be a wonder worker, I can at her death, I shall be her obliged and
tell you. What's more, he will be a-very humble servant. But in the meantime,
rich man. You don’t seem to think about my dearest Yolande, you and I have,
CHAPTER XXV.
got to face the world together. *
Now, it ia not possible to wind up this that, Yolande.”
"About what, then?"
history in the approved fashion, beesusq
.When they got to the hotel they paus­
the events chronicled in it are of aome-
“Why, that you are going to marry n ed outside the glass door to say good-
by.
''
what recent occurrence—indeed, at the very poor man.”
present writing the Winterbournes and
“No, I do not care at all,” ahe said.
“Good night, dearest Yolande."
John Shortlands are still looking for
'.‘That is because you don't under-
“Good-night, dear Jack.”
And then she looked up at this broad-
ehouldered. pale, dark man, and there
waa a curious smile in her beautiful,
aweet and eerioua face.
- “Ie It true," ahe asked, “thqt • woman
The American Real Estate & Guaranty Ca.
1
I
ward to their flight tpAUt-namba, when
Parliament h'as- ceased talking'for the
year. But at least the storr may be
brought as hr as possible “up to dafe."
And first, as regards the Master of Lymn!
He is in a hotel in Princes street, Edin­
burgh, in a eitting room on the first floor,
lying extended on a sofa, and smoking
a big cigar, wdiile a Clip of coffee that
had been brought him by affectionate
hands stoo^, on a small table Just be­
side him. And Shena Van. haring In
vain cudgeled her brains for Atting
terms of explanation and apology, which
she wished to send to ber brother, the
professor, had risen from the writing
desk and gone to the window; and was
now standing there contemplating the
wonderful panorama without—the Scott
monument, touched with the moonlight,
the deep shadows in the valley, the
ranges of red windows in the taU bouses
beyond, and the giant bulk of the Caeth*
Hill reaching away up into the clear
skies.
f
~~''Shetn,'”~W* be, “wti at u'tloek -ie-
It?” '
“A quarter past nine,” 'she answers,
dutifully, with a glance at the clock on
the chimney piece.
“Capital!” he says, with a kind of sar­
donic laugh.
“Excellent!
A quarter
past nine. Don’t you feel a slight vibra­
tion. Shena, as if the earth were going
to blow up? I wonder you don't tremble
to think of the explosion!”
I
“Oh. yes, there will be plenty of noise/'
says Shena Van, contentedly.
“And what a stroke of luck to have
the Grahams at Lynn! Bagging the
whole covey with one cartridge? It will
soon be twenty past.
I can see the
whole thing. They haven't left the din­
ing room yet; his lordship must always
open the newspapers himself; and the
women folk keep on, to hear whether
Queen Anne has come alive or not.
Twenty past, isn't it? 'Hang that fel­
low, Lammer!' his lordship growls. 'He's
always late.
I'll send him about his
business—that’s what it’ll come to.’ Then
Polly thinks she'll run upstairs for a
minute to see that the blessed baby Is
all right; and we'll say she's at the door
when they hear wheels outside, and ao
she stands and waits for the letters and.
patters. All right; don't be in a hurry.
Polly; you'll get aomething to talk about
presehtly.”
He raised himself and sat up on the
sofa, ao as t0 >et ■ >Hmpse of the clock
opposite;!and Shena V>n—whose proper
title by this time was Janet Leslie—
came and stood by him, and put her band
on bis sbonlder.
“Will they be very angry, Archie?”
she say».
“My dear girl," said he, “I don't care
the fifteenth part of a brass farthing
which of them, or whether any one of
them, is on our side. Not a bit. It's
done. Indeed. I hope they’ll howl and
squawk to their hearts' Content. I should
be sorry if they didn't.”
“But you know, Archie,’* said Shena
Van—who had her own little'share of
worldly wisdom—“If yon don't get rec­
onciled to your friends, people will say
that you only got married out of spite.”
“Well, let them.” said he cheerfully.
"You1 and I know better, Shena—what
matters it What they s»y? I know what
Jack Melville will say. They won't ter
much -comfort out of him. 'No one has
got two lives; why shouldn't ho marry
the girl he's fond of?'—that's about all
they’ll get out of him.”
And ao at thio point we may bld good
by to these adventurers and eome along
to another couple who, a few weeks
stand what it means,” said he, in a kind­
ly way. “You have had no pdssfbllity
of knowing. You can’t have any knowl­
edge of what It Is to have a limited In­
come—to have to watch small economies,
and the like.”
“Ah, indeed, then!” said she. “And my
papa always angry with me for my
economies, and the care and the thrift
that the ladiea at the Chateau exercised
always! 'Miser,' he says to me—'miser
that you are!’ Oh, I a» net afraid of
being poor.”
J
"
At this moment John Shortlands made
bls appearance.
“Look here, Yolande," he saMi
*1
suppose you don't want to heir aay-more
of the debate?”
“No, nq,” she ¿aid, Quickly. “It is
stupid—stupid. Why db they not say
what they mein at once—not stumbling
here, stumbling there, and all 'the others
talking among themselves, and as if ev­
erybody were going asleep?7.
“It’> lively enough sometimes. I cau
»xx ui e you,**' li e b m T u . “HiHryrPF, yn t i f
father thinks it's no use your waiting
any longer.
He’s determined to wait
until the division is taken; and no one
knows now when it will be. He says
you'd better go hack to your hotel—I
suppose Mr. Melville will see you so far.
Well," said, he, addressing Jack Mel­
ville, "what do you think of the dinner
Winterbourne' got for you?”
"I wasn't thinking of it much," Jack
Melville said. “I was more interested
in the members. 1 haven't been near the
House of Commons since I used to come
up from Oxford for the boat race.”
“How's the company going?”
’Tretty well, I think; but of course
I've nothing to do with that. I have uo
capital to invest.”
“Except brains; and sometimes that's
as good as bank notes.
Well,” said
Shortlands, probably remembering an
adage about the proper number for com­
pany, “I’ll bld ye good-night, for I'm
going back to the mangle—I may take
a turn at it myself.”
So Jack Melville and Yolande together
set out to find their way through the cor­
ridors of the House out into the night
world of London, and when they were
in Unlace yard Yolande said she would
just as soon walk up to the hotel where
her father and herself were staying, for
lit was no further away than Albemarle
street.
“Did you hear what Mr. Shortlands
said?” she asked, brightly. "Perhaps,
after hll, then, there is to’ be no ro­
mance? I am not to be like the heroine
of a book, who in approved because she
marries a poor man. I am uot to make
any such noble sacrifice."
"Don't be too sure. Yolande." said he.
good-naturedly. "Companies are kittle
cattle to deal with; and an inventor's
business is still more uncertain. There
is a chance, as I say; but it is only a
chance. However, If that fails, there
will be something else. I am not afraid."
“And I—am I afraid?" she said, light­
ly. “No! Because I know more than
you. And perhaps I should not speak,
for It is a secret—no. no. it is not a se­
cret, for you have guessed it—do you uot
know .that you have Mona glen?"
He glanced at her to see whether she
was merely making fun; but he saw In
her eyes that she wax making an actual.
If not amused, Inquiry.
“Well, Yolande," mid he, “of course
I know of Mrs. Bell's fantasy; but I
don't choose to build my calculations for
the future on a fantasy.”
"She has bought Monaglcn," Yolande
said, without looking up.
George Ade has come to--the assist­
ance of the rules committee ou foot­
ball with eome suggestions that con­
form, in part, to the idjas'Of President
Eliot. The lady-like code is as fol­
lows:
Selection of players—The
players
shall he selected by. the faculty, and
the student who has received the high­
est grade In Greek, anthology shall be
captain. No student shall be eligible
unless he has an established reputa­
tion for piety.
Weather—In case of rain, snow,
high wind or extreme heat, a contest
may lie postponed or transferred to a
class-room.
Preliminaries—When a
team ap­
pears on the Held of contest It ^ball
be greetetT wtth the Chautauqua sa­
lute, whlctr consists of waving tiro
"handkerchief. After this a few min­
utes of social Intercourse shall follow,
with friendly chats concerning books
and writer».
The toss—Instead of tossing a coin
to decide which team gets the ball,
.the two captains shall be called upon
to extract the, cube root of a number
given by the professor of
mathe­
matics.
Advancing the ball—The ball having
teen put In, the center of the field,
the umpire, who must be a professor
of geology, exhibits to the team hav-
ndr the ball a specimen of a fossil’
A ilthu member a of the team -who
think they can name the geological
period to which It belongs hold up
their hands. Any player may be
chosen, and If be answers correctly
his side gets two yards. If be also
knows the scientific name of the fos­
sil he can take five y'ards more.
Conduct—No pushing, scuffling or
boisterous conversation will be per­
mitted. Both players and apectatora
must maintain absolute silence dur­
ing the mental tests.
Penalties—Any player who makes a
grammatical error, mispronounces a
word, or Beeks assistance from a fel­
low player, shall bf deemed guilty of
an outside play, and his side shall be
penalised five yards.
Resuming play—On, resuming play
after a totich-down. one of the play­
ers known as “it" is blindfolded, and
the other-players join hands and cir­
cle round him, singing:
London bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
London bridge is falling Sown,
So farewell, my ladies.
While the players are circling round,
the player known as "It" touches one
of the players In a gentlemanly man­
ner. and asks‘him three questions,
which must be answered. Then bu
tries to guess the name of the player
If he succeeds, be advances the ball
five yards.
* I - z
Nothing is more offensive than an old aore VAHUJEsKVUta>
that refuses to heal. Patiently, day after day, it is treated and nursed everv '
sadve, powder, etc., that is her^d of is tried, bnt doX no gtSf u^Ultte^S
■iffht of it grows offensive to the sufferer and he becomes disgusted and mor­
bid. Th«yare not only offensive, but dangerous, because the same germ
“Did Maud and ClaA kiss and make
up?” “They kissed and spotted their
make-up.”—Ex.
“Hao the circulation of your new
magazine gone up?” "No. But the
magazine baa.”—Life.
Doctor—Do you talk in your Bleep?
Patient—No, I talk in other people'a.
I'm a clergyman.—Brooklyn Life.
"Bob Smith la alck abed.” "Haa he
got anything dangeroua?” "Woll, be’a
got young Dr. Jonee.”—Town Toplce.
Knlcker—Ie be a aucbeaaful busi­
ness man? Bocker—1 suppose so, he
boasts that he is going to be investi­
gated.—Puck.
Husband—Well, I must say that all
fools are pot dead yet! Wlfq (affec-
tlonately)—I’m glad of it, dear. I
never look Well in black.—Illustrated
?
Bits.
* ,----- ----------------- -------------------
The Greatest invention.
"Tommy, why la it that yoq are al­
An Optltnietlo View.
TWhat dojyou censider the greatest in-
ways fighting with little Willie Bus
Muggins—80 you finally mustered up
eourege to propose to Miasttiprlngor, ah?
kirk?” “’Cause he can’t.run as fast vention of- modern times?”
"The’p&5tjpg?aph.'' answered the po­ What was the result?' ' _
as me ’n’ I can lick him.”—Chicago
litical baaa,,who was having trouble with I
Huggins—She dismissed mo without
Record-Herald.
*
,
T • ,
some of!ple loquacious subordinates. “It ' ceremony. __
“That man says a dishonest dollar never sayiP'a thing that hasn't been told I Mnsgina—Oh, well, don't yon cars.
never passed through his bande.'
Not. to it by somebody that knows what be ia The absence of ceremony saved you ths
if he could help it,” answered Senator | ialking about.’’—Washington Star.
1 minister
------------- ’s fee.
-
Sorghum; “he.always-held on to it.”—
You Can Get Allen’s Foot-Ease FRER
He Never Smiled Again.
Washington Star.
Write Allen 8. Olmsted, Le Roy.N. Y., for a -
Miss Stringern-^ Yes. 1ft. Muggsby, I
-æ ■ a m i .I a ni
tilan '■
a aa
Ie aisr^
“Genius,” lie said, “should never be think T > wfo, rf L.kL . in.. .
mm pie of Allen
's Foot V
F.^e.
It cures
think you »Hold make-a lovely eome- e«eatlna. hot awollen, aching feet. It makee
hampered with-the cares of a family.” dia n.
sew or tight shoes eaay
A certain cure fos
"Mistake," said the married man', "in
Muggsby—Yen flatter me. But do you corna, ingrowing nella and buntona. All drug.
giataaelllt. 25c. Don’t accept any aubatitut*
this extravagant age It takes a genius really think I have talent? V ’ ‘
Miss Stringent—Oh, not necessarily;
-to keep a family.”
Grounds lor Action.
but you have such a fuqny facs.
Scribbles—Have you seen my naw
Cltisen—What possible excuse did
book?
you fellows have for acquitting that
riTO Perm»nently CurM. No nnor n»rvou»ne«B „ CriticuB—No whBt'B th» till» of ir?
du^derer? Juryman—Insanity. Citi­ Nl0 Rffr«™M>*aJ1SeUrPr.Kl1n«',Gre.lNTv. I
’L"*1 * ,n.e.
0\‘t7
Scribbles—The “Unmasking of s Hum-
zen—Gee! The whole twelve of you? RMtorvr. Svnd for FW a SB trial bottieand treailM.
Dr. K. H. Kline, Lid.,»31 Arch 81.. rblladelphla, Pa. bug.”
—Cleveland Leader.
I CriticuB—What! Do you mean to tell
Much jp.JLUti«,..
Citizen—Why don't you nominate a
me that you have written your auto-
“Multum in Parra/.’ read the man biography?
good, honest, incorruptible man for
--------------------------
this office? Politician—What'a the across the streets, ¿^ay, that's a queer
B tatx or O hio , Crrv or T oudo ,
use? We'll have a good majority with­ motto for a shoemaker.”
"Guess it's all right, though,” rejoin-
_
c ° vmty ,
I '
out It.”—Cleveland "Leader.
ed the obese policeman on the corner.
“Poor fellow, ! pity him! The en­ “You see. his specialty is ladies' Bhaes.” C'o.,dolngbu>lnesBlntbaCHyofToiedo,ia>un-
ty and Htate aforesaid, and that said Arm will
gagement ia at an end.” “Gracions!
pay the sum of ONE itl’NPRED DOLLARS for
Do you mean to say the girl has gone
Information Wanted.
each and every case of C atarrh that cannot bo
cured
Uppson — Yes. me dear boy, I am CUr by > the
‘he use
u»« of
o( R all ' s C atarrh curr .
back on him?” “Worse than that!
She has been married to him.”
very proud of me family tree, doneber
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
know.
presence, this «th day of December, A. D., USS.
“Pa,” asked Tommy, “whnt's the
e Downing—Do you ever whitewash it? 1
>
A'W'
difference between 'assurance,’ and
Uppson—Whitewash it! What
Insurance;?’” —
—
»-
iLrwnina
»K a
inaant-
nft off,
"Weil, my gpn. Ótl£_Js,__4^
own;n^ ____
— Iraan
To -keep
the
insects
what .the agent has aud tlie other la d o u cher k n ow?
SCtiaireeUy
a -
on th.- blo<xl
viwu
and mai'i
un.......
iiiu ' oud
uurfaoM
non___
what he persists In trying to sell you.”
I oi the ay^tem. Send for testimonials, fr«e.
Piso's
Cure
Is
a
good
coush
medicins.
.^4
b
nfiiuts
*
C0
'
Toledo
>
°-
Teacher—If a man gets four dollars
Hall's Faimfy HtUari the be.L
forx-worklng eight hours a day, what It has cured coughs aud colds for forty
years. At druggists, 25 cents.
would he get if he worked ten hours
Unspoken Words.
a day? Johnny—Ten hours a day?
Not So Remarkable.
Charitable Lady—My good maa. what
Gee! He'd get a call-down from de
Parker—Hear about
ths fire this ' would you-eay to a steady job of work
morning? Seven people barely escaped ¡with three square meals a day?
union.
Meandering Mike—I'd stay all right to
“Now,” said the teacher, who had with their lives. Remarkable, wasn't it? j
Kerwin—I fail to see anything very . de t'ree square meals, ms’am, but wot
ben giving an elementary talk upon
remarkable about it.
I I'd say ter de steady job uv work
architecture, “can any little boy tell
Parker—Why. isn't it remarkable that | couldn’t be said in de pretence uv a lady.
me what a ’buttreaa’ la? ” "I know,” the seven people eseeped with their See?
shouted Tommy Smart. 'fA nanny liresr
Boat.”
Kerwln-Xo. Had they escaped with
t
t
. । , Byrup the best remedy touso for their children
Sympathetic Lady—Very Bad that out their lives it would have been truly during the teething period.
remarkable.
1
--------------------- ——
* ..
your busband should^sve loot his
After Alfbnee
leg! How did it happen? Mrs. Mug­
Persian Dinners.
Ralph Peters, the new president and
gles—Wby, he got run over by one o’
Persian dinnera are very muck like general manager of the Long Island
these ’ere substruction engines, miss! ours, only turned the wrong way Railroad, has a new Joke which bo
—Punch.
round.
The feast is preceded by declares was cabled to blin from Paris.
Mrs. Backmedders—What's
them pipes while tea and sweets are banded It has to do with the recent attempt
numbers on the autermoblle fer, about. Then the servants of the house to assassinate King Alfonso, of Spain
Hiram?
Mr.
Backmedders—Why, appear, bringing in a long leather when he was riding through Paris in
that's the feller's score. It shows how sheet, which they spread in the middle a carriage with President Loubet of
many folks be'a run over.—Chlcfl; .go of the floor. The guests squat around France.
this, tailor-fashion. When all are seat­
Dally News.
"Whom are they after?” Mr. Peters
“Mike,” said Plodding Pete.” don’t ed, a flat loaf of bread la placed be­ declares the king asked the president.
fore every one, and the'band then com-
“After you, my dear Alfonse.” re­
you with doFVou was one o’ dese here
truat magnates?” "Naw,” waa the nn; mences to play. The various dishes plied the French chief executive, with­
*
J
swer; “it 'ud be too much like tradin' are brought In on trays, and arranged’ out a smile.
off a good appetite fur a case o' d/s- around the leather sbefft at intervals.
Na. 42-1905
The
covers
are
then
removed,
the
host
pepsy.”—Washington Star.
says “BismlllHh" (in the name of God). , r™*
“Stop!" she‘cried; “If you dnre
HEN writing to advertisers pie»««
and without another word they all fall
mention thl« paper. ,,
put your arms around me I shall------ ”
"What?” he asked when she hesitntid.
“Humph!” she replied. “If you hid
any spunk you'd go ahead and fihd
out.”—Chicago ¡Record-Herald.
“Dat dog o’ mine.” said Mr. Eras-'
tua Pinkly, “keeps on a-tryln' to whnp
ev’y four-footed critter dat comes
down de road.” ■qie must be a tight-
er.” “No, auh. He ain't no fighter.
But he don' seem able to reco'nlze de
«STORIA
"We had quite a prominent actor as
a guest at our house the other even­
ing.” “Gracious! didn't you find it
hard to entertain him?” “Oh, no, we
Just handed him a bunch of photo­
graphs and his own waa among them.
He amuaed himself for hours.”—Phila­
delphia Press.
L
?
Miss Oldgold—Before I give you my
answer. Count, tel) me one thing.
When my freshness of yoVth Is gone,
and the hand of time baa diminished
whatever beauty I
; when ad-
vanclng years cause my cheeks to fads
and my charms to vanish—tell me,
Count, will you love me then? The
Count—I do.
First Cabman—tybat did youcharge
that atranger for driving him around
the corner to the hotel? Second Cab­
man—Four dollars and nluety-aeven
^enta. First Cabman—Why didn’t you
mats It aij'sien .five dollars? Second
Cabman—Because four dollars and
nlnety-aeven centa waa all he had.—
Lfpplncptt'a.
\
«
“How do you get bo many subscrib­
ers?” asked the visitor to the office of
the great m«mzlne. "Jiist between
you and me I’ll tell you the secret All
the manuscript sent In I keep. I an-
gwer the contributors and tell them
the stuff will be used as soon as avail­
able. That makea them aubacribera
for life.”—Indianapolla Star.
- l —>
Serpent Immune from Ira Venom.
On» of the moxt Important things
about serpent venom is that each
species seems to be immune to Its own
poison. If a snake is Inoculated with
Its own venom it remains unaffected.
M. C. PhlBallx, who has done bo much
on thia aubject, finds experimental evl
A Terrtflo Jolt.
dence that thia Immunity fa to be at­
De Borem—You need not trouble
tributed to the presence in the blood
yourself to see me To the door. Miss of a free antitoxin. iThlk’ neutralises
Biffkins.
the poison aa It la Introduced.
Mlsa Biffklns— No trouble at all, Mr.
------------------------
De Borem. Quite a pleaaure, I assure I '
• ‘
Strange as It may seem there are h'
number of ..prominent men living to­
day whose fathers' wires never haJ
an opportunity to attend a mothers'
congress.
s
remains the sore will be Borne yean ago my blood became poisoned, and
there and continue to grow the doctor told me I would have running aorea foe
that if they were cloeed np the result
worse and more destructive. life, and
be fatal. Under thia discouraging report I
The fact that thousands of would
left off their treatment and resorted to the use o<
old sores have been cut out S. S. S. Its effects were prompt and gratifying.
and even the bones scraped, It took only a ahort while for the medicine to en­
and yet they returned, is in­ tirely cure up the sores, and I am not dead as the
disputable evidence that the doctors intimated I would be, neither have the
blood is diseased and respon­ sores ever broken out again. J ohn W. F ttktu »
Wheeling, W. Va., May »8, 1903.
1
sible for the so^f or ulcer.
Valuable time is lost in experimenting with external treatments, such aB
Salves, powders, washes, etc., because the germs and poisons in the blood
must be removed before a cure can be effected. S. S. S. cleanses and puri­
fies the circulation so t^at it carries rich, new blood to the parts and the
¿Fwto tore or ulcer heals permanently. S. S. S. not only
BL” JWnoves the germs and poisons, but strengthens tha
brood and buildfl.up the; entire system by stimulat-
lug. the orpans,’1 increasing the appetite and giving
. „
wasted constitution. It is an
exhilarating tonic, aids the digestibn and puts every part of the body is
¿
good healthy condition. Book on the blood, with any medical advice wished.
without charge,
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO„ ATtAHTA. C4,
New Job for Him.
~ '
‘ "Have you
’Lost — Twenty-four
’hours'?" asked the old lady of tbs new
clerk In the book store.
*
1
“No, nrdy,” he replied, “I ain't had
time. I only came here to day."—Phil­
adelphia Press.
or Infanta and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
I mants /( hildken
Promotes Digcslion.Chrerfui-
nessand Rest Contains neither
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral
N ot N arcotic .
Aperfecl Remedy forConstipa
non, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish­
ness and LOSS OF SLEEP.
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
A t b i ji o 111 h s < » 1 (1 f
jC » N I S
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER.
Signature
Of
À
v For Over
Thirty Years
mn
We do crown on 1 br df^work without r n n.
Our
pip r pucp In plat« work rn-
b M pr ua to Ht y or mouth comfortably. Dr.
W. A. U iiw ha« foa d a *ar« way to ealnr«
teeth at«oluiwly w> hoiit pain. ,fDr. T. F.
Wiw la an expert at «Old £lllM and < rown
and brk't work.
Eitraetla< lr^ whoa
platp« <»r orldfea are • rd rd.
WISE BROS.
DENTISTS
Fe nst RMs- f» vi »“«i WiAhinsto"
Open vvvn’nits Illi
lock. H»i> da/x troni
I '1
I ta IX <?T Ms.li Ar». _
s ■ k
41