Ji Rheumatism X Corrected. — Willie ’’Peebles — Th« SLEEPING VOLCANOES . A thin, vapory smoke, lastly ascend» F AT*'” and end Familiar Offices. The Postoffice Department has been playing havoc with the eld familiar names of offices throughout the coun­ try. It has been obliged to discontinue the mall service at New York. To bo sure, it la not the New Yojk of the Great White Alley whose postal faclll Use have been cut off, but a town of somewhat smaller also. In the State of Iowa. It has also been the unhappi­ ness of the people of Rock Branch, in the same commonwealth, to lose their postofllce, and the records have been transferred to Correctionville. Ominous name! Let us hope the records are straight In Michigan the department has amended the name Sault do Ste. Marie into Sault Salute Marie, and- it has established the offices of Racy ami Rosene. In Minnesota that noble of­ fice known for years as Proctorknott has been shorn of its final syllable, and the famous orator is known only by his Christian name upon the mailing lists now. Bkog is a new name in Min­ nesota, and a good one. In Mississippi Chunkeye Station has been trans­ formed into Chunky. In Oregon Needy has been stricken from the list, and in Pennsylvania Arcadia has been so­ ts b listed. i In the Philippines Mas ba to has been discontinued. Equality has been estab­ lished in South Carolina and a new forget your g, WllUo. Willie Peebleo- ing from ita crater, may be the only vis­ Gee, the hone was goln----- .—Puck. ible sign of life in the sleeping volcano; Prepared.—“Bedad. the nix t aotomo- but within is a raging sea of fire, molten bobollat who runs over me will be sor­ rock and sulphurous gases. Those who ry for It, 01’11 bet yes.” “Why?“ “Oi’ve'a can av nitroglycerin In Ivery make their homes in the peaceful val­ leys below know the danger, and though pocket.”—Life. - * ' ‘i frequently warned by the rumblings and WIZARDS OF THE PO8TOFFIDC Local Oracle—Know t' Dook o' quaking«, these signs of impendingerup- ' Blankahire? Ay, I dare says 1 knows lion go unheeded. They are living in fancied security; when the giant 'Im better than any" one in these parte. * fectivs Addressee. The staff of meh in the New York Woy, my darter married one o’ ’to sta­ awakes with deafening roan,and they are loot beneath a downpour of heated rock and scalding ashea. Thousands of blood poison sufferers are postoffice who are called upon to guess ble ’anda.”—Scraps. out defective addresses are wonderful­ “It servea her good and right” “How living upon a sleeping volcano, and are taking desperate chances, for Bowlin« Grw.u. Ky., M«r. M 1902 ly successful at their brain-torturing now T’ “Bhe became engaged on a Fri­ under the mercury and pot- G»ntl»mon: For ovur four y»ua x’ »ufrarod day and married on the 13tb.” “Welli” ash treatment the external One aibsent-minded person addressed “Well, now she can’t get a divorce!'— gymtpom* of the disease di»- ir»uUy from a swaro »are of eont»«>ou» blood . l . X wont Hot aprinav. tb»r» phy- four appear, and a the deluded vic- poioon. ^u,» at a btar to ospanso. X th»n »toying oououltod a letter “2.242 Bronchitis” and. it whs New York Evening Bun. tim 1» happy in the belief of »ielsna, wbo proscribed Mercury. Nothin* did promptly delivered to 2,242 Broadway, Bhe—So you think that men are hilt tha “• Food; in tnek.khn treatment provad »"• mor» to correct address. Not long ago O. smarter than women, do you? He— a complete cure “ “ l . out e than ben»*oi»l. I m»ntion»d my os»» to A Menger, the chief of the “good Some men, but not aiL She—Well, fires of contagion have only » friand, who told mo that 5. B. 8. had oartainly guessers” In the New York office, what men are smarter? Ho—Old bach­ Haan amntharad in the avs- »ur»d him. I at on«» oommenoad ita uw, and at- been smotnerea in me ay»- teroonUautMirttiorK,m,um«oouid find no trace struck a letter mailed froor a buyn. in elors.—Illustrated Bits. tem, and as soon as these Of the diaeeaa whatever. was about two Italy, addressed tn vile handwriting to “What do you put on your faee after “Vincenzo Marchese, Harpon Harland, ahaving?” asked the man who amell?d blaze up again. Occaaional ■pltal Carotin.” 7 of bay rum. “Court plaster, uaually,“ sores break out in the mouth, a red rash appears oh ths body, and these Applying the phonetic method, he replied the nervous chap, gloomily.— warnings symptoms, if not heeded, are soon followed by fesrful eruptions, Quickly wrote In red ink at the bot­ sores, copper-colored splotches, swollen glands, I qss of hair and other Cinclnnstl.Commerclal Tribune. tom of the envelope, “Quarantine Sta­ aickening symptôme. Mercury and potash not only fail to cure Hood “ Doeo your little girl knqw how to tion (Hospital), Hoffman Island.” The ’ • """“7 apelir “Ob, deer no. That's so ple­ poison, but cause mercurial Rbeutaati»«», "*’’'**■ sive ulcers and inflammation of the stomach and bowtes. The use of DoavlUs has ala« »»routed In Tennea hands of the immigrant /or whom It beian. and we expect her to marry a S. S. S. h never followed by any such bad results. It cures without sea, and there the mueh ■ought John man wbo is rich enough to let her may have bto home. was intended. the slightest injury to the system. We offer $1,000 for proof that it la Texas Hswiey bss been trans­ The Italian, Russian, Hungarian and have an amanuensis.”—Chicago Poet contain* a mineral df any descrip­ “Have you beard about the latest in­ formed Into Bleesinf and an Arp has Greek mails bring most of the “blind” tion. S. S. S. is an antidote for conta­ appeared, doubtless a modeat tribute addresses, which are worked out pho­ surance company?” “No; what Is It?" gious blood poison.it destroy» every to the humorous gentleman of that netically. A few recent examples of “Why. it’s one that promises to pay ali­ atom of the virus and purifies and pseudonym. Virginia has s new Dot,' the originals, with the translation» by mony to both parties In case the mar­ riage provea a failure.”—Detroit Free atrengthena the blood and Ixiilda up the a Pilot and a School, but. has lost a the postal experts are; “Blrlanoatrt, Tomsvill«”—Sarah Ann Frees. general health. Cool Well and a Dell. We will mail free our special book Street, Tompkinsville. Correapondenta who have hitherto Miss Vane—Some one told me to-day “Merryone”—Matteawan, N. Y. < that I waa the handsomest girl In our on Contagious Blood Poispn, with full directions for home treatment. addreeeed foreign letters to Beuish, “Istocblnchlstommo”—East Kings­ Llandyssll, must now use Isrger en­ street Miss Spelts—Ob, that’s not in­ Medical advice ia furniahed by our physicians without charge. ton, N. Y. - - - curable! • Mise Veno—What do you velopes and write It Beulah, Newcaatle “Soccloples”—Scotch Plains. " Emlyn, Carmarthenshire. Likewise mean? Mlsa Spelts—Your habit of Under the name of one address ap­ talking to youraelfl Llwyndafydd, New Qusy, Cardlgan- x peared the follovHng: “Chalpll Pon- West Liss, ■hire. Baxter—We had some fine music at , Aa Explained. Such Is Fame. mllcan.’i After some study, the “guess- the concert last night Caxton—1 Brownovitch—Old Biowits never at­ Hants, been complicated into West Piker—Who is that solemn-looking sr” wrote across the envelope “Care J. thought you didn’t enjoy hlgh-clam woman? Liss, East Lisa, Hants? And why tends churchy does he? PierponT Morgan,” and the letter was music. Baxter—Oh, I didn’t enjoy It; Smithlnsky—No It isn’t accessory. has Tygerfonteln, Cape Colony, been Hilow—Why, that is Mrs. DeSwymm, Brownovitch—Because why? duly delivered to an Oriental In the that’a why I know It must have been the acknowledged society leader. “erased from the list?" Does the Siulthlnsky—Oh, he’s one of those change of Victoria West Road to Piker—Society for the suppression of financier’s employ. high class.—Boston Transcript self-made men who are always praising Hutchinson Indies tea disloyal ten­ __ — A tougher problem was presented by Augustus kno linger the youthful)— what? their maker. this: “Hop Lee, 4 10 Colock, Complice, ,Keeley lk > uor - morfhine - tobacco | * am m „. wiàsiowb Root«», dency in the colony? Well,, there's one comfort; they say at Texas.” Long and hard study led to The Postoffice Department is always 40 a man la either a fool or a physi­ amll PEKMANENTLY CURED Bynip th» hot remedy to uw for tbsir children busy changing names, establishing, the conclusion that the correct reading cian. Angelina (nearly swallowing a during the teething period. row rvu mrtkuaam should be “Hop Lee, Fort Hancock, discontinuing, moving offices, reform­ yawn)—And are you a physician, then? I— ronruANn^ç Camp Rice, Texas.” The letter waif“ ing their spelling and generally keep­ The Usual Way, i Auguatua—No. Aagellna-^Oh! sent there and Hop got It “Time is precious,” said the moraliser. ing them in order. For- light summer Uaed to It. — Tommy was visiting a A letter addressed to “Mr. Frederick A Pessimistic View. - . “It is,” rejoined the démoraliser, “sud reading try the “United States Official A Swift,’ with the Initial “L” beneath nelgbbor’a. At dinner the hostesa apol­ “Say, pa,” queried little Johnny Bum- I've wasted lots of it.” ' v Postal Guide.” whose yellow covers it, was sent to Lowell, Masa, ita in­ ogised to him because the table linen pernickle, “I often read about poor but “By indulging in.. foolish pleasures, appropriately hint at Ita Interesting was soiled at his plate. “ Ob ’ that ’ s honest people; why don’t they sometime! eh?" queried the party of the preface. tended destination. contents.—New York Bun. nothing," he assured her, promptly; ■ay rich but honest?” “No,” replied the other, “by being home.” Kentucky Men’kOuty. “It would be useless, my son,” replied punctual in keeping my appointments “ours is worse’n that ++++++♦+++++++++++++♦♦++■ ; the old man. “Nobody would believe it” with others. Jamboree, Ky., August 29 (Special) Brooklyn Life. —After Buffering for yeara with pain A JAPANESE H«a “That land,’ said the city nepbaw, “Is In the back Mr. J. M. Coleman, a well valued at *800 a front foot” “Thun- known citlsen of thia place, haa found ♦»♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦i* ♦»♦♦♦♦ a complete cure In Dodd'a Kidney deratlon!” exclaimed the old farmer, hastily moving back on to the side ­ Pilis. Knowing how general thia die- All Japan has been ringing with the eaae ia all over the country, Mr. Cole­ walk. “And 1 stood on it most five fame of Takeo Hirose, the first great man feela It Is hie duty to make hia minutes! Do you reckon they'll charge naval hero of the Japsnese-Russlsn experience public for the benefit of me rent?"—Chicago Post war, who was killed In Admiral Togo's other aufferera. Among a number of notes received second attempt to block up Port Ar­ “I want to recommend Dodd’s Kid­ thur. Hirose was leader of the vol­ ney Pills to everybody who has pain by a teacher In excuse for the absence unteers who set out to sink their ships In the back,” Mr. Coleman aaya. “I- was the following: “pe#r Teecber: suffered for years with my back. 1 Kindly excuse Minnie for having been need Dodd’a Kidney Pills and I have absent yeeterday, aa she fell In the by a projectile from a Russian quick- not felt a pain since. My little girl mud on her way to school, t By doing firing gun while seeking to save tho datned of her back and ahe the same, you will oblige. Her Mother.” too compì ------------------- used about half a box of Dodd's Kld- life of hit friend and subordinate, Pot­ They bad been engaged a long time, aey Pllto and ahe la sound and well.” ty Officer Sugino. Th* Now York Backache la Kidney Ache. Dodd’a and one evening were reading the World talla of other deeds of courage Kidney Pills are a sure cure for all paper tpgetber. "Look, look." he ex­ performed by Hirose. Kidney Achee, Including Rheumatism. claimed, “only fifteen dollars for a suit He first proved bls bravery in th* of clothes!” “la It a wedding ault?” war with China. After that war Lieut. Unwritten Colonial Hietory. she asked, looking, naively at her lovec. Hirose, who spoke Russisn snd French The captain of the Mayflower had “Oh, noP’ he re»H«d. “it is a business well, wss sent *a.nsvsl attache to tho given orders to reverse the engine and suit” “Well, I meant business," she Japanese legation at St. Pateraburg. swing into port replied. He cam« Into prominence there through Plymouth rock waa near at banA A military pfllcer went downtown an Incident which occurred at a ban­ “Why do you plan to land hepe?” wlih bls little daughter one' morning. quet. A Russian officer declared that asked William Bradford, with eome Before long the little lady found bersolf th* Japanes*, so smsll of ststura, could acerbity. unable to. keep up with her father** 'not, aa individuals, hold thslr own in "Why,” responded the captain. 1 b swinging stride, and she was obliged 1» sny war. Hiros* smilingly defied any great dtoguat at the other’e Ignorance, cry a halt "Please, pa,” She said, “I thro* Russians to overcome him at “if we didn’t how would poultry-breed­ would like you not to walk so fast, wreatllng. Roars of taughter greeted ers ever get a name for their big 'dom- for I can’t keep up with you. Can’t tho challenge, for in those dsys Jsps- inecker* chickens r* yon walk nice and alow like a police- neso Jiu-jitou wss not described in Bo humiliated waa he by this reply every newspsp«r. that Mr. Bradford forgot for two hours man?” “A woman can’t Reep a secret.” de­ At test, for tho fun of It, the Rus- to electioneer for the goVernorebip.— clare* the mere man. “Oh, 1 don’t stan officer s«nt for thro* targ* snd Baltimore American. know.” rttorta the fluttery woman; sturdy soldiers. The little Japanese Deafness Cannot Be Cnred “I’ve kept my age a aecret since I was threw th* Russians, one after another. S4." “Yes; .but one of these day» you Hiro** remained in BL Petersburg way io cure d»*ln«»», and that 1» by oun»tltu- will give it away. -In time you will thro* year*. Th* daughter of a Rus- tlonal remadlaa. Dealoau I, cau»ed by an In- simply bsvs to tell It” “Well. 1 think alan naval officer fall in love with the Bamad »ondltlon of th» mucoua Unina of th» Buatachlaa Tabe. When thio tube la Manaffi that when a woman has kept s secret gallant young Japaneee. Her father, you have a rumbling eound or imp»rtect hear­ for twenty yesrs she comes pretty near who greatly admired Hirose, let it be ing. and when it la »nUrelv oloeed, Deatneea la knowing bow to keep It”—Judge. known to him that he would not be During the late Boer war, just sftef unwelcome as the young girl’s suitor. tho fall of Bloemfontein, soldiers were Hiros*, who slso cared for the girl, which 1» nothtas but an Inflamed »»edition of ** D iab MB s . P inkbam : Foor yeara ago I wee nearly dead with Inflam­ struggled with bls sffectlon for three called upon, owing to the »earcltyof thrmuooua aurfioee» . .... . mation and ulceration. I endured daily untold agony, and life was a burden We will give One Hundred Dollar» for any civilians, to work the rsllwsy. The caee ot Deafneaa teamed by catarrh) that can­ to me. I had used medietoee ibd washeo internally and externally until I not be cured by Hall'» Catarrh Cure. Bend lor weary men were lying’ in camp one made up my mind that there was no relief for me. Calling at the home of a Then he wrote to her father, and ^remar.,^ night after a hard dRy’» work’ wben ■ friend, I noticed a bottle of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. pointed to the inevitable war between sergeant called out: “Any of you wish My friend endorsed it highly end I decided to give it B trial to if >t would Russia and Japan. He said: “When to put your name down as rsllwsy por help me. It took patience and aereeverenee fori was in bed condition, and I my country calls mo to dnty I shall have to turn to account all the valua­ The vast retinue of servsnts employed ten. drivers, »tqker», guards, or sny before I was cured,, but whs by the late Queen Victoria are being other sppOlntment connected with th« misery to th* delightful exhih ble professional hints received from csrefaHy reduced in numbers by King railway 7’ The silence was broken only not change back for a thouaai your Vegetable Compound U a your kind Ups and so help to do mortal by »noree Then one of the men slow­ ffrand medicine. Edward VIL hurt to your country's navy. Thus 1)1 S3 ly raised bls hesd. “Put me do#n as “ I wish every sick woms must patriotic duty make me repay H askbll ., Silver Lake, Maas. s sleeper I” be shouted drowsily. all your kidness. With this in my mind A curious snd smuslng mixture of Good Templars. and in my heart, bow ean I presume ■ successi al in more than a million to sue for yonr daughter’s hand, know­ When a medicine ha* early piety and worldliness canro to to nay, witboat trying it, *1 do not ing that after the outbreak of the moot ll^it In a city school room ou* d*y cases, is it jnstice *oyeu when ths teacher bad asked the ebil- Surely yoa cannot wish to ramala weak* and lick and.dis- likely of wars the band of fate might drea to writs on their pads of paper coaraged, exhausted with each day** work. You have some destroy the the happiness of your something about the profession or oc­ derangement of the feminine organiem* and Lydia E. Pinkham** daughter In the most ruthless of wny% cupation jn which they would Uke to Vegetable Compound will bel» row just aa rarely aa it haa other*. engage when they became men and won her hand." You know the medicine that women.' One little girl wrote briefly Hirose in his poetic temperament as makes pure, rich blood*— but effectively, “I would deelrerio be ■ well as In his dauntless spirit truly Ayer’s Ssr»»P*M,t-\Your lady rider at < clrruss if ft was the represented the old warrior class of — Another little girl with Lord’s witt- ’ Japan, the Samurai. equally mixed Ideas wrote, "Mission­ sooner, fori tried many remedies without find­ An Optlmlot. ary, but if not that, millinery or clerk ing anything Which helped me before I tried the “Do you think that the standard of Vegetable Compound. I dreaded the approach of the menstrual period every month, as it popular taste to higher than It need to The Difference. atssfot mush Buffering and pain. Some months be?” “ Far as I ean learn, ” said the Prun- it. Their doctors trusted it. “Certainly." anewered Mr. Storm- tytown philosopher, with his- usual Your doctor trusts k. Then Ington Bern«. “You most remember raapiabneea. “the only difference—ex­ two months f became regular and natural, and so that people of the prevtone genera - trust it yourself. There Is ■I eoutianad uatil I felt perfectly wen, and the cepting. of course, in the slse of their health and strength in it. parte were strengthened to perform the work . 4inne bad bo opportunity of seeing my bills—between the fashionable city without assistance and pain. I am like a differ- Interpretattoue."—Washington Star. physictan, with several mysterious Ini­ Ay«r*» foreM»’1"»- »• tials after bls name, and the plain, It Happane FreqaenUy. ■ran a. B ab Mrs. tendera— It’s absurd for Henry every-day village doctor, wbo is com­ B M »MOI». monly called 'Doc,' and swaps horses to think of marrying that Mise Beleber. — for on the aide, 1« that the former klag noeae your malady and the latter than he. ■imply tells you whst's the matter— the medicine they Uncle George—Oh. that's all right y > P. Q DEPARTMENT IS ^UBY. ^POTASH r _ Mrs. Haskell, Worthy vfce Templar, Inde­ pendent Order Good Templars, of Silver Lake, Mass., tells of her cure by the use of Ayers Mrs. Tillie Hart, of Larimore, N. D., says: Sarsaparilla Rich Blood V O N S U M P an’s Home Companion. -, A ten-pound baby can make more Transcript coat nil I Paradoxical though It may amai, a Just Mie ■polled child la always fresh. look cosy is to arrange the chairs that you can’t move in the dark without falling over them. CASTOR IA The Kind You Have Always Bought has borne the signa­ ture of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his personal supervision for over 80 yearn. Allow no one to deceive you in this. Counteneita, ImlL'.tlona and “ Just-as-goo«A FROM YOUR u. HEN writing to advertisers please mentina this pepar. DEALER PRUSSIAN STOCK FOOD, _ H iussiah _ STOCK-FOOD the G re. teat Conditioner .nd Stock Fattener known. NORSKS do pi ore work on less feed. COWS give more and richer milk. HOGS grow and fatten quicker if given thia food. MAKIS PIGS GROW. GOOO FOR STUNTID CALVIS.___ lh«,e been ff^dine miMlsn Huwk Fund to my thorouskkrvd «win., itrivm tbaw .. tppotlw and makM cbe plga fro» 1 also triad it on Maud oai«ao wiih >a*laek b* It —take no anbeUtnte. Bold by oboe dealers everywhere. Fo»i CWor XgtMt used ejrelmteelf. “AS GOOD AB B7.Od BHOEB.” • fée mor* ojepma I o * shoos.” KKOWLIJ, dtp JoUcHor, HiHs. Lautbar •frurtlosi futur i