street roots
8
April 1,2014
Asian workers to donate to new OHSU
cancer institute
Workers at a Nike Factory in Vietnam say they will donate 3
percent, or 30 cents of their weekly salaries to help build a new
cancer research facility for Oregon Health and Science'University
(OHSU) in Portland.
"We feel very honoredlo work, for Nike," said one factory
worker in a small, dimly lit break room, known as the bathroom to
workers.
Phil Light, Nike's co-founder has offered nearly 5 percent, or
$500 million of his net worth to OHSU for cancer research if
Oregon taxpayers and donors can match that amount. Light's net
worth is thought to be more than $12 billion.-
I OHSU executives have promised that donations from Asian
workers overseas w on'tgo towards their million-dollar salaries,
saying that Oregon taxpayers are already on the hook for that.
"The money will go to a good cause," said an OHSU
spokesperson. "Baby boomers from around the U,S. are starting to
look at their own self interests, realizing they are only months away
from cancer themselves."
Indonesia and Korean workers who have also started a
* campaign to support the cancer institute say that donating 30 cents
a week isn't enough. "We've decided to donate our future, -
.including our health care, to Americans suffering from cancer," one
worker said. "It's the least we can do; We're indebted to Mr. Light
and Nike for letting us work away our lives."
GOP unveils new plan to fight childhood
obesity
House Speaker John Boehner and Rep. Paul Broun of Georgia
announced a bill this week to fight childhood obesity by drastically
cutting food stamp programs across the country.
"The reality is, city kids are fat," said Broun at a press £
conference attended by several top ranking GOP officials. "We
believe the best way to fight childhood obesity is to starve them
out. This is about the values of the American people."
I ■ "We're confident that when Americans are hungry enough,
they'll take whatever job they're offered," Boehner told reporters
with a tear in his eye. "Frankly, this issue spans so many problems
in our society, from small businesses to immigration. Have you
seen how many Mexican and Chinese family-owned restaurants
there are today?"
Democrats responded forcefully saying that Boehner and Broun;
were out of touch with the American people and then agreed to
go along with parts nfthp new hill
-......
President Barack Obama said that he was sympathetic to the
hundreds of thousands of families affected, but said he would sign
the bill in an effort to show the American people that Democrats,
and Republicans can still work together.
■Advocates for the poor have already created an avalanche of
petitions with various messages to Congress that took nearly 45
minutes to delete.
The new bill is expected to cut theamounf of food stamps
Americans are able to qualify for by 40 percent by the year 2016.
- "The American people are going to be a lot healthier when it's
all said and done," said a spokesperson for Broun. "If we deny ■
people food for long enough, they'll stop asking for handouts of
apple pie. It's a win-win for the American people."
Media Roundup!
he Oregonian has announced that it will go to a
new zine format this summer with the hopes of
boosting readership and cutting costs. “We’re very
confident that readers are going to enjoy smaller
Associated Press articles about dogs in Missouri, and cats
in Idaho,” said a spokesperson from Arizona.
It’s being reported that The Portland Mercury and
Willamette Week are battling it out to see which
newspaper can get to a 20-page weekly format first. “Our
advertising departments are working hard to get there,”
said a spokesperson for The Portland Mercury. “It’s all or.
nothing.”
Oregon Public Broadcasting says that producing the
news has never been easier. “We typically wait for the
most juicy news story developed by other media in town,
and then jump all over it.”
The Portland Tribune is publishing an 27-part
manifesto on homelessness called, “My chosen voices: ■
Advocates and local government’s failure to get anything
done, ever, at anytime on homelessness.” The series
features economists from North Carolina and Maine who
mathematically point out that, it’s true, Portland is failing
to end homelessness.
The Portland Business Journal is celebrating being
the most read newspaper in Portland by anyone making
above $60,000 annually, or over the age of 60.
Street Roots continues to plan for weekly publication
next year - a plan that no one in his or her right mind
actually believes will work.
S
T h e A sia n R e p o r te r reported that P aridabearsin
■duHa^^^Re’SewTcomin^aRScSonTTuSt1 w is
apparently publishing a newspaper for the LQBTQ
community. Bike Portland and Blue Oregon are still on
the Internet the last time we checked. Portland Monthly
isclaim ingto be the most browsed magazine in the city —
.^ ^ JiG W re^ rted ^ ^ firesJn ^ P orllan ^ th is^ j^ r, while
KOIN reported from a helicopter that traffic on Highway
26 is still backed up. Meanwhile, KATUran a special
report about Portland area residents beingscammed by
both KGW and! KOIN news teams, claiming they don’t
actually report any news* ’
Human services spending
keeps pace with 1980s
ov. John Kitzhaber arid key members of the Oregon
Legislation are touting a. new bill that would bring
spending for human services in Oregon to levels not
seen since the 1980s.
“We’ve worked really hard to get the numbers up,” says
a spokesperson for Kitzhaber. “After gutting social services
for the past 35 years, we felt it was important to prioritize
the people of Oregon.”
The spokesperson also said „that Kitzhaber believes th a t|
with the passing of health care reform, social service -
fundingmost likely wouldn’t need another boost until 2045.
Insiders iri Salem say that once the so-called website,
known to the public as Cover Oregon, was up and running,
that people would have the' opportunity to get healthy and
that’s all that really mattered.
The spokesperson gave an example of a poor old lady
not having access to an air conditioner, saying, “When
we’re talking about people suffering, we need people to '
remain cool.”
When asked why housing — in the midst of this slow
economic recovery - wasn’t more of a priority for the
governor, the Spokesperson said the governor^ housing is
fine. “In fact, he’s doing quite well.”
'Oregon Republicans sent out a press release following
-the governor’s press conference, saying, they would keep
fighting. “Oregonians won’t be happy until funding levels
for human services were rolled back to a pre-1950s level.
Oregonians don’t want more human services or health |
care. Oregonians simply want to keep Uncle Sam out of
Uncle Jed’s gun closet.”
H
Georgia policy makers crafting legislation
to divert 21st century from Peach State
A Policy makers in Georgia are working on a bill to avoid having
to enter into the 21 st century. -
"We're tired of intellectuals from New England and California
telling us what to do," says Stonewall Mayor Rod Miltonmeyer.
"My granddaddy's granddaddy's granddaddy always said New
England was overrated in the tall. We all agree."
• State Rep. Luther BoDine from Savannah agrees, saying that |
keeping Georgia in the 20th century probably wouldn't go far
enough. "Tm hoping we can reach an agreement about placing
our 19th century values at the forefront of our Southern politics.
Tm confident that our brothers and sisters in South Carolina and
Alabama will join-us."
"The Mexicans, queers and especially women are-trying to .
change Georgia," says BoDine. "I won't have it. Not orvmy
watch."
Bodine says that beyond carrying out family traditions, he's - I
worried that the Southern way of life is becoming a laughingstock
• in the rest of the country. "How will places like Utah and Idaho - ;
feel if Georgia just tucks and runs? We will not run, for anything, I
mean when is the last time you saw a Georgian exercise? It's not
happening."
' The bill will be voted on sometime next month, which on the
Georgian calendar will be August 1971. Bodine says that following
the upcoming votes to destroy Obamacare and raising the
minimum wage to $5.20, an hour, "We're going to knock this one
of the park."
depending on how many groceries readers get at any one
time.
Salem's Larry M arksm an totally photobombs Gov,
John Kitzhaber a t a press conference unveiling a new
pla n to keep social service spending in pace with the
previous generation.