Street roots
April 1, 2013
MEPIA BOOWDQP
A snapshot of what's happening this week in
Portland's top rags and mags
■ The Portland Monthly is featuring the Top 10
headlines published by the magazine in 2012.
Coming in at number four was, "Oregon is
beautiful." Number three; "Oregon is beautiful on
red wine." Number Two; "Beer and wine makes
Oregon look beautiful." Coming in at number one;
"Oregon looks looks beautiful on weed, wine and
beer."
■ The Oregonian will begin a new revenue
generating model in the summer that entails
renting out most of its empty office space to
advertisers in exchange for actually buying an ad in
the newspaper. The newspapers editorial board is
thought to be moving its office space to Clackamas
where it will feel closer to its bat-shit crazy roots.
■ The Willamette Week is working on a cover
story about Portlanders whose past is so jacked up
that they should never even think about running
for office.
■ After ten years, The Portland Mercury is still
hoping for its first Oregon Society of Professional
Journalist award.
■ Portland Afoot, PDX's 10-minute magazine on
buses, bikes and low-car life, will be upgrading to a
15-minute read this coming summer.
■ Bike Portland announced that it has the most
readers of any blog in Portland with the least
amount of diversity.
■ For the fourth year in a row the Portland
Business Journal claims to be the most read
newspaper in the region that has yet to question or
break any investigative news on the business
community. The advertising department say they
couldn't be more thrilled.
■ KGW was the first to report a crash on SE 122nd
and Stark. Not to be outdone, KATU reported
another crash on I-205 Westbound. Reporters at
KOIN claimed on Twitter that the two crashes
resulted in a traffic jam. Fox 12 reported rain.
■ Street Roots, a paper for "those people,"
continues to report drivel that most of Portland
couldn't care less about.
‘You betcha’ Palin eyes CRC from Alaskan home
S T A F F R E P O R TS
thing,” she said.
Local consultants who have been making
roject managers for the Columbia
money hand over fist for the past five years
River Crossing, also known as the
say that their grandkids’ retirement should
“Bridge to Nowhere II,” announced
today that the $27 billion project will get be
a taken care of by the time Palin takes
over and they’re fine with the changes.
new consultant in the spring.
One former Oregon Democrat named
“We’re really happy to be bringing on
Jefferson Smith says if he were still in office
Sarah Palin,” says Richer Bytheday, a
he would lock himself to his desk and go on
spokesperson for the project. “We know
a hunger strike over proposed changes.
that by completing this project, Alaska will
“Luckily, Jefferson’s only platforms are
be that much closer to Oregon residents.”
Facebook and some dog on Twitter,” says a
Oregon and Washington Democrats have
Democrat who wanted to remain
struggled to convince their state’s
anonymous.
Republican officials to sign onto the Bridge
Asked why he changed his vote in the last
to Nowhere II project. This move sends
two months after railing against the project
strong signals that they’re willing to work
for the past three years, the Democrat said,
with anyone to get the job done, sometime
“Politics are complicated. Have you ever
in the future, at a price that has yet to be
thought about how hard it is to actually
determined.
build a bridge to nowhere?”
Palin declined to comment on the details
Voters concerned with the project are
of the deal, only saying that if she takes the
being asked to call a hotline that to-date has
job there will need to be significantly more
not been set up. Testimony given on the
studies done on the issue. “There’s still so
outline will be duly noted by someone,
many unknowns. It will be important that
probably.
we understand exactly how to build this
P
< « / „ s. i / « '
n *
to
tope for unveiling
In a bid to offset the perpetual economic
suspension system known as the Columbia River
Crossing, Oregon has agreed to let controversial
and usually nonsensical artist Cristo perform at
the proposed bridge's unveiling.
Cristo says he will pay to wrap the new
bridge entirely in red tape. Cristo says he's
chosen the motif as a stark contrast to the green
environment and the muddy waters of sketchy
accounting the bridge spans. Cristo became
famous for wraping islands and whatnots in
■Bl
The unveiling event - which has already cost
taxpayers $179,000— is still in its planning
stages, but organizers say it willl include a
traditional mushroom planting on either end of
»
noge.
Meet Your Local Branch Manager:
“Com m unities a re n tju st streets a n d build
ings. Comm unities are thriving places
where cultures, commerce a n d souls grow
stronger together. ”
- M ary
Mary Edmeades
Social Impact Banking
503.445.2155
medmeades@albinabank.com
Memb ei*
6OU*tHCW8«6
LENDER
Time is running out!
At Albina Community Bank the most ordinary
financial transaction can have an extraordinary
impact on our local community.
You’re going to bank somewhere,
why not let your banking make a difference in
the places where you live and work?