Street roots
March 1, 2013
Losing it - or maybe not
After a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, illustrator Ellen Forney worries medication will wipe out her creativity
BY JIM DOUGLAS
Forney rides the roller coaster so familiar
to people being treated for bipolar disorder.
he extreme and unpredictable highs
Unpredictable periods of mania and
and lows that come with bipolar
depression lead to changes in medication.
illness can be like having a
When a blood draw shows negative effects,
frightening head “full of frantic rats.” And she has to stop taking the medication even
even with treatment, the symptoms may
though it is helping her symptoms.
continue seemingly without relief. Family
Expressive cartoons illustrate her reactions
and loved ones, as well as the person
to the many different medications. (These
suffering the problematic behavior, can feel
reminded me of the humorous conversation
mystified and frustrated by its seemingly
in the Oscar-nominated film “Silver Linings
inexplicable nature.
Playbook” between the characters played by
Ellen Forney’s “Marbles” may help. It is
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, in
an engaging, unsettling and informative look which they discuss the effects of the various
at the author’s own experience with the
medications they’ve taken for their mental
illness, unique in that it is a graphic novel,
illness.)
rather like a black-and-white “comic book.”
In her efforts to gain stability, the author
Forney’s illustrations add an element to her
does yoga, tries to make herself swim and
descriptions that words alone cannot create.
keeps a journal of her medications and her
The author is a cartoonist whose work
moods. She uses what she learns from
regularly appears in Seattle weekly, The
Karen in cognitive behavioral therapy to
Stranger. She illustrated Sherman Alexie’s
“talk back to the internal critic,” listing her
“The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time
“automatic critical thoughts” and the
Indian” and teaches at Cornish College of
corresponding and more accurate “rational
the Arts. She is not shy in describing the
responses.” She also learns to be more -
lengthy process by which she attempts to
open about admitting that she has a mental
come to grips with — and achieve some
illness and confides in the few friends who
relief from — her condition.
are able to accept the variation in her
Diagnosed at about age 30, Forney
moods without being judgmental.
describes her treatment with a psychiatrist
But, perhaps above all, because she is an
throughout the entire book. However, she is
artist, she sketches. “Marbles” includes
slow to completely buy into the idea that
some of those drawings, which very
treatment might actually help. She worries
effectively capture the moods she
that controlling her mania with medication
experiences. Although the story line in the
will squelch her creativity:
book is drawn in a very straightforward way
“Art was my blood, my heart, my life.”
When she was first diagnosed, “the sense of with simple, bold lines, the sketches vary
significantly depending on how the author is
heaviness was alleviated by a back-handed
feeling at the time and what emotion she is
sense of cred.” She imagines herself as a
r P i V 'r T n q fT----- -■ -
member of “Club (Vincent) van Gogh:
Despite all these efforts, the author
Eccentric! Passionate! Tortured! Scary!
continues to experience periods of mania,
Deadly! Fire! Ice! Unmoored! Unbridled!
during which she “perseverates,” unable to
Unpredictible! (sic) Dangerous! I was
let go of her frustrations. And she has bouts
officially a crazy artist.”
of depression, which leave her with only
She resists taking medication and
enough energy to get from bed to couch and
experiences a succession of increasingly
back. She has problems with her memory.
manic episodes. As her thinking becomes
There is a cartoon drawing of Forney in a
more and more revved up, her cartoon
rowboat, being pulled away from shore by a
illustrations almost vibrate, and her words
wave that is filled with symbols of her
wrap around her head. Finally, desperation
illness. She says, “I was sideways, I was
leads her to put herself in the hands of
upside-down, too energetic to be depressed,
Karen, the psychiatrist. But taking lithium
too anxious and sad to be manic.”
makes it “official.” She is “crazy.”
C O N T R IB U T IN G W R IT E R
T
Marbles: Mania,
Depression,
Michelangelo,
and Me, by Ellen
Forney
2 1 1 in fo
CGNTRAICITY
fY W W T l
If you need help with
any of the following:
Food Resources, Health Care, Public
Agencies, Legal Services, Employment
Changing Lives
Building Communities
Creating Opportunities
Resources, Counseling/Support Groups
Housing/Emergency Shelter and Much
More!
From your cell: 503-222-5555.
Throughout the book, Forney has a
constructive rapport with her psychiatrist
P H O T O BY
j a c o b peter f e n n e l l
and is o p en ab o u t h e r th in k in g and
activities, with one exception. She doesn’t
reveal to Karen that she has held onto her
pre-diagnosis habit of regularly smoking
marijuana. It is only after several years of
treatment that she is able to resolve this
issue. Forney’s description of her mental
health challenges offers great insight into
the ways bipolar illness affects people and
their overwhelming challenges to gain
stability. Her insight may also provide
reassurance to people who are going
through a similar experience.
Reprinted from Real Change, Seattle, Wash.
Pacific Power wants to invest me
money in coal plants without
proper analysis of other option
? tffiggPbsing coal plants ea
is good for your pocketbook
and the planet.
four membership gives us the power to
fight Pacific Power’s coal investments!
'
“ Support CUB today.
http://oregoncub.org/streetroots
w w w .c e n tr a lc ity c o n c e r n .o r g
5 0 3 -2 9 4 -1 6 8 1
C it iz e n s ’ U t ilit y B o a rd
M any thanks to all o f our volunteers who contribute their tim e a n d energy toward Street Roots! Inquire about
volunteeringatwww.streetroots.org/volunteer.
■I