street roots
Nov. 23, 2012
What better time of year for us to list our ‘gratefuls’
BY MELISSA FAVARA
C O N T R IB U T IN G C O L U M N IS T
o, we had a spontaneous deep
bedroom cleaning today. We sorted
clothes for Goodwill and hand-me-
downs for little Maret down the street; we
excavated year-old New Yorkers and dust
cattle from beneath our bed; we even found
a dusty pacifier down there — as our
Ramona, the owner of the pacifier is now
six, that’s evidence that we were in sore
need of a clean. We got so enthusiastic that
we skipped lunch, and then Ramona turned
into the Tasmanian Devil and tried my
patience by hurling clean laundry all over
her bedroom floor and I almost wanted to
strangle her.
I am grateful that I have a partner in this
project who tagged me out, stepped in, and
made the kid a waffle while I turned down
my internal temperature enough to prevail
over my temper. In fact, this Thanksgiving
week, I am mightily grateful that Marshall —
Number One Dad — and I have each other
to compensate for our deficits.
In the past year, I have done that dance
between decrying the condition of our home
and life and realizing how unspeakably lucky
we are to be a family, together, and in our
house in Portland.
I was not grateful, initially, when Marshall
and his family colluded for us to spend a
week on the Delaware shore in August. I am
not a beach person, and I have a phobia
about being away from my house for any
length of time; I worry inordinately about
the cat and dog, and wake up wherever I am
in a cold sweat worrying about whether I
have turned the stove off. Seriously. And I
hate the sun. And heat. I think I am
reincarnated from a salamander and miss
the days of cozying up indefinitely under a
favorite damp log.
However, I am grateful looking at the
photos from the trip that feature my East
Coast in-laws with their arms around my
shoulders, accepting me, the only person on
the beach with a vintage bullet-bra swimsuit,
massive black sunhat, giant sunglasses,
gleaming white Oregon skin and visible
tattoos. In the background, Ramona frolics in
S
Melissa favara
Melissa Favara
teaches English in
Vancouver and lives
and writes in North
Portland, where she
parents Ramona, age
6, hosts a bi-monthly
reading series, and
counts her husband
and her city as the
two great loves o f her
life.
the Atlantic. Thank you for pushing me out of
my comfort zone to beachify our little gal.
I was very grateful three years ago when
Marshall forgave me for violating the
No-Cat-Until-New-Years rule and let me
adopt Bentley the orange tom in October
2009.1 was even more grateful when this
lovebug, ostensibly an indoor model,
discovered the dog door and abandoned the
litter box for the great outdoors, sharpening
his claws exclusively on the telephone pole
in front of our house and decimating the rat
colony that was eating my kale and
threatening the sewer line.
I was not grateful this early October
when Bents came home one afternoon with
the fur glued to his forehead by pus and I
had to throw down $120 for antibiotics, a
shave and wound drainage. I was even less
grateful when he was gone overnight two
weeks later and limped home the next
morning with blood on his chest and
forelegs and a bruise so bad he yowled when
I tried to pick him up: vet tab, $160.
Apparently, there’s some gangland-style turf
war in the feline community on Kerby
Street, and Bentley’s a casualty.
We have closed the dog door for good,
and Bentley is an indoor cat now. I am
grateful for the following things: though he
came close to death with the last infection,
he pulled through; I no longer have to fret
over the possibility that Mr. B. will be hit by
a car; I will no longer find the tribute of a
dead rat at my bedside — and most of all,
Marshall, who hates a litter box, has
graciously remained stoic about the fact that
if I forget to scoop for a day, our house
smells a little like pee. Thank you for being
flexible.
Finally, back to today. We live in a special
brand of happy chans forged from the triplet
towers of wanting to do all we can while
we’re alive, working too much, and both
being kind of bad with money and a bit
flighty. There are areas where Marshall,
Ramona, and I are all a bit weak — we’re
messy people. We’re easily distracted. We’re
all prone to flying off the handle when we’re
underfed. But man, ask me how I felt after
Ro’s meltdown and Daddy’s coming to the
rescue and the ugly moment outside
Goodwill when we dropped off our donation
and were trying to make it back to the car
with Ramona’s newly acquired roller skates
and an odd handmade instrument that I
scored for five bucks, she ran away from us
and terrified me with the possibility that
she’d be hit by a car in the dark, rainy
parking lot. I was not grateful for that
moment.
But Marsh and I made giant eye contact,
squeezed hands, and agreed not to react to
our six-year-old like fellow six-year-olds. We
grabbed the girl, got her in.the car, got
home, mainlined some cheddar cheese into
her still-hungry self, and set to making
dinner.
“Thank you, Mommy,” she said on receipt
of the cheddar. “May I please watch one
video?” Yes, you may. We then offered an
extra chapter of Harry Potter if she would
spend the time before dinner putting the
books that remained on her bedroom floor
away. “Yes! I’d like my room to be less
chaotic! Did I use that word right?” Yes,
Ramona, you did. And I’m grateful that she
put the books away and that at dinner we
did our nightly ritual that’s a riff on the
Quaker grace Marshall’s family does — when
we dine with the in-laws, we hold hands
around the table, close our eyes, and take a
moment of silence, nt the end of which my
father-in-law says, “Amen,” and we squeeze
the hands we’re holding.
At our house, we hold hands, make eye
contact with each other, then fling our arms
over our heads and shout, “Hooray!” before
going around and saying our “gratefuls”—
what are we grateful for today? Ramona was
grateful for the roller skates we got for her
at Goodwill. Marshall was grateful that we
were having dinner together. I was and
remain grateful to be partnered with
someone who compensates for my
weaknesses and collaborated with me on
making a kid who is excited to pet strange
dogs and learn new words and who, when
nourished, can turn it around and make me
feel that I’m not bungling this whole child-
rearing thing. Thank you, thank you, thank
you.
Dear City Council: A prescription for healthy streets
The following is the first in a two part
article. This first part outlines a set o f guiding
principles for Healthy Streets. The second will
offer a framework for implementation.
Bicycle
Transportation
Alliance
BY ROB SADOWSKY
C O N T R IB U T IN G C O L U M N IS T
I
write this letter to the Portland City
Council as it seats two new members:
Mayor Charlie Hales and Commissioner
Steve Novick. As you sit down over the next
few months building new relationships,
making new appointments, swapping
bureaus and considering new directions. I
offer this prescription for healthy streets:
Our streets have the potential to
transform our communities. Trans
portation policies of the past too often
divided communities, particularly those
most underserved. Instead, be inspired by
the potential offered by building livable
communities that are vibrant, active and
economically sustainable for everyone.
Transportation is regional. Policies and
programs must be tailored to meet the
unique needs of the tri-county region and
the diverse communities within the region.
Transportation systems and policies link us
all. The Portland economy is strengthened
by building connections and filling gaps in
the network that make it more difficult for
our residents and employees to move within
Healthy Streetbeat is a monthly colum n fo r Street
Roots written by the Bicycle Transportation Alliance
(BTA). Rob Sadowsky is the executive director o fB T A .
the region.
Collective action is stronger than
individual action. Portland needs to
embrace partnerships with civic,
transportation, recreational, educational,
social-change, health, environmental,
business, development and community
organizations. We need to move away from
divisive politics that pit people who walk,
take transit, drive cars, and ride bicycles, or
who help move freight around the city,
against each other. Perhaps most
importantly, we urge you and your bureaus
to listen first before taking action.
Good transportation policy
transcends demographics. Be conscious
of social equity issues in transportation and
strive to engage diverse constituencies,
particularly across lines of gender, age,
income, race and ethnicity. It is simply not
enough to hold a public hearing to engage
constituencies; you need to go out and
listen first, build shared goals and engage in
meaningful dialogue.
A truly multimodal network is a
balanced system that meets many
shared goals. Strive to achieve a balanced
transportation system that accommodates
the needs of all users while mitigating the
effects of congestion, high speed and risky
driving behaviors.
Deliver results. It’s not over when
projects are funded, plans are adopted or
policies are approved. We expect
implementation to lead to on-the-ground
progress.
Change behavior through
encouragement and education. It’s not
just about building the network. We are
building a balanced transportation network
through education and encouragement. We
must continue to invest in Sunday Parkways
and Smart Trips as well as in maintenance
and construction.
Confront reality and let data drive
decisions. We need to use current data and
transportation modeling to guide decisions.
The reality of today is that fewer people are
driving cars and more people are biking,
taking transit and walking. Our land use
policies, parking policies and on-the-street
plans for the network need to celebrate this
new reality. *
Tell it straight. If we are going to
continue to lead the nation in building
livable communities, we need to come
straight out and tell our citizens that the
transportation choices we make have a
direct impact on all of us. Larger, heavier
vehicles mean our roads are more costly to
maintain. Reducing our transportation
carbon is essential to prevent increases in
asthma and other respiratory diseases.
Ultimately, investing in a balanced
transportation system will save us money.
Be bold and unique. We are Portland.
We are innovators who set the tone for the
rest of country when it comes to many
things, transportation included. This bold
and unique character attracts new
businesses whose employees are looking for
a healthy lifestyle that allows them to easily
navigate their neighborhoods and urban
core by walking and biking. Healthy streets
are simply a key ingredient for economic
success.
Hire and recruit the best people who
can implement this vision. You will have
many choices ahead in bringing on new staff
to implement policies and citizens to serve
on committees. Let’s go out and recruit
people who not only have experience with
implementation, but also share these
guiding principles and vision.