street roots
14
Sept. 14, 2012
In The Darkness
Homeless
By Marc Cordova
By Leo Rhodes
It’s cold outside, and sometimes it rains
And all I have is a light coat.
Sitting in my place
I can hear the people outside
Their laughter is loud and clear over their muffled words
It reminds me of many a nights out on the streets
Many times I worried if I were safe
Trying to stay awake until they leave was useless
I was too tired from the nights and days before
Mentally drained from not enough sleep
Physically drained from walking and carrying my bags all day long
Pointlessly existing
As the dark cloud hangs over my head
I remind myself
It’s just another day in paradise
My feet hurt because I walk a lot, and I don’t even own a pair of shoes,
I have to use the bathroom but nobody will let me use theirs without purchasing
something,
and I’m broke because I’m homeless.
So I go off to find a place to take a much needed shit
I don’t care if people see me, let them watch, I don’t have no shame.
I’m hungry but can’t go into a restaurant because I don’t have shoes,
and I’m homeless.
I smell really bad because I haven’t had a bath in months,
will I ever find the right one for me to cure my loneliness?
I miss my mom, I haven’t met my dad.
I have eighteen children and never even met them,
bet maybe somewhere they’re doing better than me.
I guess I will go panhandling, I ain’t proud to beg.
People just walk by me.
They don’t even look at me, like I’m not even there
Like I’m just the dirt you sweep under your rug and forget about.
I’m so hungry right now, there wasn’t much luck begging today.
I look down and see a piece food on the sidewalk, so I eat it, and it was good.
Well it’s cold and I’m tired, guess I’ll try to find a dry place to sleep tonight, maybe
tomorrow I’ll have better luck, my heart is heavy and my outlook is glum.
So why is there no hope for me you ask? For I am an abandoned stray dog.
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The laughter and muffled words
Remind me of the times I spent in indoor shelters and tent cities
Watching the couples pair off
Their love for one another
Their bond and support for one another
Watching the single people
With their strong will to survive
It’s beautiful to see all of them work together
To encourage, support and help one another
Then there are those that have been through a lot
Watching them well I know and feel their pain
In the darkness
I sit here by myself
Many thoughts going through my mind
The good the bad the ugly
Many times in the cold, in the rain, in the snow, in the countless
meetings and hot days
and nights
I wished for my own place
And now I have my own place
Away from but so far from the world I used to know