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Street roots
Dec. 23, 2011
Leska Emerald Adams’
‘New Found Aspirations’
A photo story of Asperger’s Syndrome
by Leah Nash
BY LESKA EMERALD ADAMS
C O N T R IB U T IN G W R IT E R
he first time I read about another being
having anything near the same
experiences' and consciousness as me
was the vampire revelation, as a teenager
reading Anne Rice’s first vampire book, -
“Interview with the Vampire.” It was a
delicious lightning bolt recognition that let m e
know that somebody out there could relate,
albeit a mythical character in fiction.
My abiding similarity to Rice’s vampire is an
inner voracious extreme pleasure in life, an
amazed appreciation and drinking in of detail,
endless close up fascination with beauty and
the Spirit within God’s pristine creation. The
drumbeat of progress, of insatiable learning,
curiosity, drive for improvement pulses a
subterranean rhythm under the current of my
existence, leading and driving me, unseen but
overwhelming, sustaining, giving rise to
intense joy and core enrichment. But, also,
when uncontrolled, overtakes all else and leads
to executive dysfunction, but a very happy
interior.
Still have never actually met anybody on
Earth in person that I can recognize as being
similar in the most fundamental prevailing
aspects.
Sometimes I briefly wonder if I am autistic
because of previous inner inclinations, or it’s a
karmic result of lifetimes« spent relishing the
interior life, or if it’s God’s protection in this
life, underlying whatever organic chemical
biological environmental or other causes for
this neurological abnormality which is
becoming epidemic. Autism has its blessings
as well as challenges. The intrinsic ability to
focus, concentrate, obsess is an invaluable
boon to the spiritual life and yields the most
fantastic adventurous inner results wrapped in
an ever-new peace.
I was able to get a doctor’s prescription for a
service dog. My spatial disconnect and
clumsiness was deplorable, could not walk in a
straight line, needed help with balance
maneuvering navigating, needed to be given
water TP and barf bucket constantly, needed a
loyal, loving, cheerful serviceful entity to help
me back on my feet, among many other
necessary tasks. Also, transitions are torture
for me; the autistic proclivity toward repetition
and staying in the groove held me prisoner to ,
my intense one-track joys and absorptions. I
need transition cues so eompellingly
enthusiastically tuned to joy that the switch is
bearable. And then the next activity becomes
infused with that welcome beautiful happiness,
in the zone, zinging with accomplishment and
functional pleasure, then help onto the next
thing.
Sensory issues with autism, especially
hearing, forme. Sensory input is processed
differently. Gaps in neuron connections in
some areas with over burgeoning connections
in others. Autism = neurological wiring is
different, broad spectrum, no two people alike,
affects each uniquely. Some signs that autism
S
Regional Arts &
Culture Council
This is the fifth in a special series on five
individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome as told
through the lens of photographer Leah Nash.
The project was made possible in partnership with
the Regional Arts & Culture Council in an effort to
chronicle the diversity of this complex diagnosis of
autism, illustrating the challenges and beauty of an
may be an evolutionary advantage in the
direction humans are progressing in the info
age. Nerds and geeks reign and rise, hold the
keys to advancement, to thinking creating
producing outside the box.
I love to kayak, more motivated by kayaking
and going way out into nature unblemished by
idiotic man’s destruction than anything else, be
surrounded by glorious God unobstructed.
Kayaking can be hazardous so it is
recommended to always go with another
kayaker. But being autistic, the social
connection is not there, so need a water rescue
buddy. Decades ago I watched in astonishment
at George Rogers Park, a sight too splendorous
for earth; teams of people and huge furry
amazing dogs practicing water rescues,
working together with such precision and
intelligence, such intuitive teamwork, vowed
then: Someday I am going to be part of this.
The Newfoundland. Strongest dog on the
planet, webbed paws, largest lung capacity,
constructed by centuries of waterwork
evolution to be the most powerful efficient
swimming dog, gentle giants, noble gorgeous
bears, hilarious sweet personalities, intelligent,
loving, loyal, serviceful, versatile, endurance
pullers: the perfect service dog for my needs.
Searched the globe for a Newf with good
health and water lineage.
Since getting Orka in February 2010, my life
has dramatically changed and improved. Orka
is helping me immeasurably. My goal was to
breathe and stay alive; now it is to get
completely better and return to full functioning.
Because my condition is changing rapidly his
sendee tasks are changing. Training will be
lifelong, ongoing. The autism lends to desire to
be still, to live only the inner life, so I have to
challenge myself physically to function and
overcome outer inertia.
Walking/Nordic power walking, hiking,
backpacking, snowshoeing, skiing, kayaking,
swimming, all with Orka pulling me, known as
dog powered driving joring, doing/starting/
learning it all and loving it! Also, I will be
biking and Rollerblading with him beside me,
and scootering with him pulling. And tracking.
I am teaching Orka water rescue so we swim
and kayak together. He is learning to pull a
cart and wagon, drafting, which is very helpful
when one cannot yet drivé a ear. We go
everywhere via bus and Max. We are having a
blast together and I am getting better every
day.
Learning (again) I had autism later in life — I
am 51 — has been a consciousness earthquake.
So many revelations and explanations. It has
changed my thinking, my mental orientations
with respect to the world. A huge relief relax
valve: no longer even trying to fit in or .
connect Tension of puzzlement gone. I know
I’m incredibly fortunate to be alive, to have
Lynn providing for me and God and guru giving
me the opportunity to get better.
See photos on pages 8 and 9
About this project:
uti&m is the fastest growing disability in the U.S. with an economic impact of more than
$90 billion. The Center for Disease Control reports that now one in 110 children are being
classified with autism spectrum disorders, compared to one in 10,000 in the 1970s, and
according to the Autism Society of Oregon, our state has one of the highest rates of autistic
diagnoses in the country,
The objective of this series is to explore the diversity and complexity that exists across this
spectrum, for it is often said that people with autism are like snowflakes—no two alike. This
work is especially relevant given controversial revisions proposing to do away with the
Asperger’s diagnosis altogether in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM), the diagnostic encyclopedia of American psychiatry
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unconventional life.
Leah Nash is a documentary photographer based in Portland, More o f her work can be found at
www.LeahNash.com.
Leska Emerald Adams-, 51, lives with friend,
boss and domestic partner Lynn Szender
and Leska’s Newfoundland service dog,
Orka, in Oregon City. Diagnosed with
autism in fourth grade, Leska says, “I knew
I was different but I didn’t know why and I
had no idea how different! was. I realized
that everything I wanted socially, to talk to
other little kids and play with them, never
happened. It did not happen.”Leska’s
autism symptoms were not at the forefront
until an unexpected divorce led to an autism
regression and subsequent Asperger’s
diagnosis almost 40 years later.
P a rt IV: Pretending
to be normal
Elesia Ashkenazy is many things — a
mother, wife, ballet dancer, writer. And
yes, She is on the spectrum of autism.
Her story and Parts I, II and III in the
series can be seen at www.streetroots.
wordpress.com.
" I don't need to be fixed, and I
don't need to be cured. And I
wouldn't want to be fixed or
cared. I want to be
acconunodated and I want to be
respected. And I want to be
understood." — Elesia Ashkenazy