Street roots
April 1, 2011
EDITORIA!
Looking to pick up
a lighter load
nough already! Are we right?
After years of wars, torture, global warming and
B
unfettered corporate greed, we now have a
worldwide nuclear disaster with no end in-sight.
Thanks, Mother Nature!
And we thought we had it bad with homelessness and
poverty. In hindsight, kinda feels like we dodged a
bullet!
But seriously, times are tough. You don’t hear people
saying “no worries” nearly as often, these days. It would
simply be irresponsible.
Times are so tough; in
fact, that we thought about
We thought the
ditching the whole poverty
country was ready to
angle and switching to a
embrace civic duty
more focused cause we
and old-fashioned
might actually be able to
volunteerism. Come to
win.
But we couldn’t think
find out that, as a
of any. Literacy, maybe, but
nation, we were
then have you noticed our
wasting billions of
copyediting? Exactly — we
dollars engaging
haven’t either. <
volunteers to build
Then we thought maybe
houses, keep charities
we-could get behind the -
operating, and
Humane Society’s
supporting basic
campaign to “End
government
Petlessness” because
operations.
obviously we aren’t getting
jack shit done on
JaefflSlessness. Then we thought, that’s a lot of pets,
maybe in 10 years it could be done.
On a larger level, we th o u g h t th e co u n try was readyJp*
embrace civic duty and old-fashioned v olunteerism .
Street Roots even bolstered its volunteer base this past
year to include more people at all levels of the
organization. Come to find out that, as a nation, we
were wasting billions of dollars engaging volunteers to
build houses, keep charities operating, and supporting
basic government operations — and did you hear what
Planned Parenthood was doing? Appalling, helping
teens like that.
Fortunately, Congress will keep us from making that
mistake again.
We thought the U.S. didn’t need, want or could afford
any more wars, Could we have been more wrong? So
glad we could deliver hand made bombs to Tripoli. It’s
what we must do for peace these days. It s á hard job,
but someone has to do it.
We even considered that, maybe, we were out of,
touch, but quickly laughed it off.
We thought, the hell with it, let’s buy some animal
outfits (see page 5), get hammered and pop some
Vicadin — watch the whole thing gó to shit and have the
Willamette Week and Oregonian come after us like a
pack of wild dogs. Maybe even the good people of the
world (Democrats) will tell us we need counseling. Like
we didn’t already know that. Ever work these hours, m
a place like this? Didn’t think so.
Hmm... what else?
_
So the world is a complicated place. It’s hard to sut
through the news cycle. It’s even harder to write for the
news cycle, on the news cycle, during your cycle. The
hardest is finishing this goddamned editorial. Seven
minutes.... 120 words to go ... just gotta find an easy
cause everyone cares about
But that will have to wait, I think that’s my bus
coming. I’m going to have to go now. It was a pleasure
meeting you too. Look me up on Facebook. Great,
great. Have fun!
Ah, done...
STREET ROOTS' EDITORIAL BOARD
The views expressed in the editorials in Street Roots are the
’ consensus of members of the editorial board and
contributing volunteers.
15
GUUTWìì
Have a laugh on us, and keep supporting SR!
For people just being turned on to SR, or
have come on board in the past few months,
the newspaper, and vendor program are key
The April First edition of the paper components in being able to help hundreds
is a time when we can take a step back and
of people experiencing homelessness and
________________ make poverty
funnies with
about
an income, while educating
DIRECTOR'S everyone in the city,
thousands more on important issues facing
including Street Roots. our community.
DESK
In a time when a
In a time when it is becoming harder and
barrage of mostly bad
By Israel Bayer
harder to obtain critical and original news
news in the world
around Portland and the world*— street
weighs heavy on
newspapers serve a very important role in a
Israel Bayer is the
people’s hearts and
community.
executive directo r o f
minds we hope to
On one hand, relationships are built and
Street Roots. You can
deliver you a laugh or two or three.
people’s lives are changed. On the other
reach him at
By creating a satirical version of the
hand, you recieve award-winning journalism
streetroots@hotmail.com.
newspaper and the events of the day we are
and commentary, and voices from the
able to take ourselves less seriously while
community that you are simply not going to
also raising important points about the city
find anywhere else.
we all love to live in.
We thank you for your support and
It’s also a time when SR kicks off its
appreciate your readership. We hope this
Spring Fund Drive. In each edition of the
spring you will find it in your hearts to keep
newspaper you will find an envelope
the SR newspaper and vendor program
attached — asking you to support SR in the
strong apd vibrant. Without you, none of
work we do.
this is possible.
For many loyal readers and supporters —
We hope you enjoyed this edition of the
you already know what we do and how
newspaper, and had a laugh on us. Keep
important it is to support an organization
coming back for more. You won’t be
like SR. All of us at SR, including the many
disappointed.
vendors selling rain or shine, thank you for
it
elcome to the third annual April
Fools edition of the newspaper.
W
LETTERS
Street Roots partners a concern fo r activists
WHAT DO
YOU THINK?
Street Roots
encourages readers
to submit letters and
columns for
publication. Send
letters to the editor
to the Street Roots
office, 211 NWDavis
St., Portland, OR
97209, or e-mailed
to streetrootsnews®
gmail.com.
T ” m really concerned about the 8
I leadership of thé organization after
JLrealizing that you’re partnering with
groups like the Portland Police Bureau to
Jiave a column in the newspaper.
As a dedicated anarchist, I believe the ••• <
quickest way to overcoming oppression and
capitalism is to alienate all institutions
working with people experiencing
homelenssess — including shelters,
affordable housing groups, and others.
I’ve suspected SR of being sell-outs for a
long time, but after reading the newspaper
over thé past few months, me and my
friends are convinced of it now.
From now on, I will be supporting
vendors, and still reading the newspaper,
but I will be encouraging all my friends to
join a silent protest of SR leadership.
MASKED MAN
NE Portland
After moving here from the Midwest, and
taring several classes at Portland State ,
University on Marxism and starting to
understand the relationship between
capitalism and poverty — I’m çonvinced that
the model Street Roots is using is
counterproductive to a people’s led
revolution.
Over the past several weekends I’ve
gotten to know many people on the streets
and have become an expert on
understanding what homeless people need
and want in our community. In my opinion,
it starts with overthrowing the government
I think your publication is a tool that
actually allows people on the streets to
make money through capitalism, and your
advocacy should be called ou t
I thought you should know that I will be
personally leading a Friday night discussion
at a local coffee shop about ways to start .
another homeless paper in Portland.
It’s my hope that the new publication will
be Marxist focused, free and will actually
allow people oil the streets to understand
w h a t th e y actually n e ed .
I ’m hoping th e publication will come o u t
sometime in April, and will run until at least
summer break when I will have to go with
friends traveling around Europe to better
understand how socialism works there.
When I get back, I will continue working
with people on the streets at least until
finals, and then spring break next year.
Hopefully by then, a people-led revolution
will have occured and all of this will be a
moot point.
Power to the people!
WEEKEND WARRIOR
SW Portland
It’s become clear to me over the past
year that SR has become poverty pimps and
are way too close to powerful institutions in
Portland;
The idea that you would somehow try to
work with a broken system to help
homeless people is appauling.
MAD AT THE WORLD
NW Portland
I wanted to write and say why don’t you
do more for the community. I find many of
the articles really informing, and have come
to respect that you’re covering many
important topics, t love the vendors. Still,
it’s not enough, and if you worked harder,
or possibly smarter than maybe Portland
would have a decent street newspaper week
in and week o u t
MIXED MESSAGES
Downtown Portland
CONTACT YOUR CITY COUNCIL
Sam Adams
Mayor
1221 SW 4th Ave,
Room 340,97204
(503)823-4120
mayorsam®
portlandoregon.gov
Amanda Fritz
1221 SW 4th Ave,
Room 220,97204
(503)823-3008
amanda®
portlandoregon.gov
Dan Saltzman
1221 SW 4th Ave,
Room 230,97204
(503)823-4151
dan®
portlagdoregon.gov
Nick Fish
1221 SW 4th Ave,
Room 240,97204
(503)823-3589
nick®
portlandoregon.gov
Randy Leonard
1221 SW 4th Ave,
Room 210,97204
(503)823-4682
randy®
portlandoregon.gov