WHERE TO GET AN EDGE (Editorial continued from page i) gang have been trying to take over from the mob since. And just like with the mob, this second generation ‘made m en’ are punks, like Gotti and Bush. But now it’s not takeovers, it’s mergers, and som ewhere along the line the Mafia, the Multi­ nationals and the Government o f the United States merged. Just like the cop/criminal relationship, the govemment/corporate one corrupts both. There is a reason Bush won the south and the center o f this country; it is the same reason that there are still cam y’s in those sections. Folks like to be fooled. They have little ego, folk in the south and the midwest, they have been humbled by the land, the weather, their hopes and dreams have been smashed so many tim es, they stopped hoping and dreaming and asked no more than to be entertained. One pundit during this campaign stated that a lot o f people in this country would vote for the dumber o f the two candidates, because they fear intelligence. They have been dumbed down to the point o f ‘ignorant and proud o f it.’ Bread and circuses Even our friends in the CIA are aware o f the deal. In a 70-page report, Global Trends 2015, they talk about the future (a little late as usual) when corporations, governments and gangs get together ‘These could include alliances between som e o f the most powerful criminal groups such as the Mafia and Chinese International triads.” Such groups, according to the Institute for CIA Studies, "will corrupt leaders o f unstable, econom ically Strategic fragile or failing states, insinuate them selves into troubled banks and businesses, and co-operate with insurgent political m ovem ents to control substantial geographic areas". The agency adds: "Their incom e w ill com e from narcotic trafficking; aliens smuggling; trafficking in w om en and children; sm uggling toxic materials, hazardous wastes, illicit arms, military technologies, and other contraband; financial fraud; and racketeering." O f course, since this is com ing from the CIA one must wonder if they think this is a good thing or a bad thing. Y ep, we have pretty much lost the right to vote in this country. W e’ve lost the freedom o f the press, because the corporations are the press. They are the government. The only speech is money, and it’s not free. And it says, “In God w e trust” on every piece. Y es, that is a Judeo Christian capitol G. No mention o f Buddha, Allah, Odin, or the Great Spirit. So, as w e enter this new time in our history, perhaps we should try to figure out if w e are going to continue to be scamm ed and ripped off, dazzled by bullshit, or if we are going to finally live up to our hope and dreams. If w e chose to do that it must start with one sim ple statement. “I disavow the government!” Happy N ew Year!!! (Poker continued from page i) Cannon Beach; Jupiter * Rare and Used Books, Osburn * Grocery. The Cookie Co.. Coffee Ga bafta. Bill s Tavern. Cannon Beach Book Co.. Hane * Bakerle, The Bistro. Midtown Café, Once Upon a Breeze. Copie* A Fax Haystack Video. Mariner M arket. Eapresao Bean. Ecola Square A Cleanline S u rf M anxanJta Mother N a tu re * Juice Bar. C assandra*, Manzanita New* A Espresso, A Nehalem Bay Video Rockaway: Nephtnes Used Books T illa m o o k : Rainy Day Book* A Tillamook Library Bay City: Art Space Yachats By-the-Sea Books Pacific City: The River House, Oceanside Ocean Skle Espresso L in c o ln C ity: Trillium Natural Food*. Driftwood Library. A Lighthouse Brewpub Newport: Oceana Natural Foods. Ocean Pulse Surf Shop. Sylvia Beach Hotel. A Canyon Way Books Eugene Book Mark. Café Navarra. Eugene Public Library. Friendly St. M arket. Happy Trails. Keystone Café, Klva Foods. Lane C.C., Light For Music, New Frontier M arket, Nineteenth Street Brew Pub. Oasts Market. Perry s. Red Barn Grocery, Sundance Natural Foods. U of O. A WOW Hall C orvallis The Environmental Center. OSU Salem Heliotrope. Salem Library, A The Peace Store A storia KMUN, Columbian Café, The Community Store. The Wet Dog Cafe. Astoria Coffee Company. Café Uniontown. A The River Seaside: Buck's Book Bam , Universal Video, A Café Espresso Portland: Artichoke Music, Laughing Horse Bookstore, Act III, Barnes A Noble. Belmonts Inn, Bibelot Art Gallery. Bijou Café, Borders. Bridgeport Brew Pub. Capt'n Beans (two locations), Center for the Healing Light. Coffee People (three locations). Common Grounds CofTee, East Avenue Tavern. Food Front. Goose Hollow Inn. Hot Lips Pizza. Java Bay Café, Key Largo. La Patisserie. Lewis A Clark College. Locals Only. Marcos Pizza, Marylhurst College. Mt. Hood CC. Music Millenium. Nature's (two locations). NW N atural Gas. OHSU Medical School. Old Wives Tales, Ozone Records. Papa Haydn. PCC (four locations). PSU (two locations). Reed College. Third Eye. Multnoma Central Library, and most branches A the YWCA. Ashland Garo's Java House. The Black Sheep. Blue Mt. Café, A Rogue River Brewery Cave Junction. Coffee Heaven A Kerby Community M a rk e t Grants Pass: The Book Shop (Out o f Oregon) Vancouver, WA: The Den Longview, WA; The Broadway Gallery Naselle, WA Rainy Day Artistry N shcotta. W A Moby Dick Hotel D uvall, WA. Duvall Books Bainbridge Island. W A Eagle Harbor Book Co. Seattle. WA: Elliot Bay Book Co.. Honey Bear Bakery. New Orleans Restaurant. Still Life In Fremont. Allegro Coffeehouse. The Last Exit Coffee House, A BuUdog News San Francisco, CA: City Lights Bookstore Denver, Co: Denver Folklore Cente W ashin gton D .C .i Hotel Tabard Inn (Out o f Ü .S A ) P ari*, France: Shakespeare A Cle B righton. England: The Public House Bookstore -A small paper for a *m all planet.' l r V P P E R L E F T E DO E - .| E d lt o r /P u b lis h e r /J o n h o r : The Beloved Reverend Billy Lloyd Hulls 5000 to WOO copies are printed and distributed monthly in Oregon and to points around the world. G raphics Editor. of R e as oa /U ocle Burgess W ild life Advertising Rates $40 $50 $60 $ 110 $160 $350 $450 permonth Payment is due the 15th of the month prior to the issue in which the ad is to appear All ads must be “camera ready”. We are usually on the streets by the first week-end of the month. Business C ard size 1 /lit h approx. 3x5 1 /8th approx. 4x7 1/4 approx. 6 1/2x9 1/2 page Full page Back page The Humble Ms. Sally Louise L-acLaff C o p y E d ito r/S c ie n c e E d ito r/V o ic e M ik e /e tc .: In fo r m a n t/M u s lc Michael R e p o rte r at Large; Peter "Spud" Siegel Im p r o v is a tio n a l E n g in e e r Dr. Karkeys Education E ditor. Peter Lindsey June's G arden: June Kroft W eb W o m a n /D is trib u tio n W on der D iv a /S u b s c r ib e r's S w e e th e a r t M ym a Uhlig Bass P la y e r B ill Uhlig Ecola Ilo h c c Douglas Deur Low er Left Beat: Victoria Sioppidttt Local C olour; Ron Logan T w o D rink s Ahead: Dam n Peters W eb M o th er; L iz Lynch Essential Services: Ad Sales: M a jo r Ginni Callahan Kathenne Mace D is trib u tio n Ambling Bear Distribution And A Cast O f Thousands!! DUEBER’S SANDI’II’LR SQUARE A Gift Store fo r the Entire Family 436-2271 SANDPIPER SQUARE and the home rolled cigarettes that were making the rounds, (and more rounds, and yet another round), they forgot l was even in the room. Amidst the chatter and laughter o f those who hadn't seen each other since the week before, the play began. In the “H” game players were dealt four cards and seven cards were laid face down in the middle o f the table in the shape o f an H. One card was flipped over at a time and with each card flipped everyone bet according to what they thought they could make o f their hand. The trick to this was that a player could use three o f the cards in the H, with the center card floating up and down, to supplement their hands. As more cards were Hipped the pot grew. “Scappoose” was a game modified by the boys; they’re dealt seven cards and they pick the worst three, and then pass them in the direction designated. “This is kind o f a stupid game,” I remarked to Dam n. “That’s why it’s called Scappoose,” he replied with a chuckle, and added that it was “Joey’s” signature game. It occurred to me how their likes and dislikes are reflected in the games they choose. “The Game” was exclusive to the Thanatopsis Literary and Inside Straight Club, Western Chapter, and was brought down from Portland by “U ncle George”, though the “Curmudgeon” deals it most. Everyone’s dealt two cards; they can challenge other players if they think their cards are the best. T h ey’re redealt two cards every round and the pot grows by $1.20; cards are passed back and forth and peanuts arc distributed. It was so complicated 1 don’t think they even knew what was going on. The deal m oves on, the game called out and a general grumble erupts, “How do you play this *#@**!I* game?” “How many d o you pass?” Stupid this, stupid that. “Sasquatch”, a bit confused, asked, “Is this a different hand?” It was a different hand. “Same cards,” he remarks in ironic exasperation, “I’m out!” “Joey” was having a bit o f luck that night; the “Professor” observed that he’d worn the shirt with the big pocket. “Sasquatch”, among others, was soon needing more chips; he dug deep for five more dollars and >nvested in poker futures. “Uncle George” called out as he dealt, “five card hand, low ball, two bit minimum.” “Auction” was the most verbal game, five cards are dealt to each player and four are placed face down in the middle o f the table. The first card is flipped over and the players can bid to buy the card. When a card is bought the bid is tossed into the pot and the player w ho bought it has to place one o f his cards in the middle o f the table to be auctioned off. The contesting bidders can become very passionate over their desire for a caid, or their desire just to outdo the other player; the bid was going up to $5.00 for one card, which I noticed was more than the pot was worth. Legend has it that bidding for one card has gone up to $14.50. “Auction” encompasses the most competitive and irritating aspects o f a game, like bidding higher just to outdo your fellow competitor. Darrin told me that he’ll wait for the dealer to go through his spiel, ‘going on ce’, pause, ‘going tw ice’, pause, and then bid on the card even if he really doesn’t want it, all just to irritate the deal in' auctioneer. At this rate the game “Auction” can take a long time. There arc games that involve no peeking. Cards are dealt and the dealer calls out, “N o peeky”. But this invariably fails; it’s so instinctual to pick up your cards to look at them. I watched several attempts at no peeky games; none o f them were successful. The “Professor” would fold before the game began because he’d looked at his cards. A couple times they tried a redeal, but it wasn’t working. It was an interesting experience, to be let into the fold o f the elusive and mysterious, all-male poker club. I’m still considering playing, but not without money to bum. The games are numerous and complex and I’d need som e tutoring before actually jum ping in. But, a little female energy might liven up their stuffy ways. By the last hour their behavior was rapidly degenerating. Their motor skills were nonexistent and their intellectual faculties were dissolved in liquor. It occurred to me that a girl with a clear head, a little savvy and a push-up bra could make a killing. Women 's Boutique , _ 436-1718 Shorêliriesj N.W. E C Ó G A ’d á S Ü Á R E Finest Shell Cofl^ction in the Northwest 436-9350 This photograph can be found at “Billionaires for Bush or Gore” on the Net. (We hope they give us permission to print it before you see it, but if not, close your eyes.) SANDPIPER SQUARE Comfortable, Classy Clothing fo r Men A Women 436-2366 SANDPIPER SQUARE Home Gift Boutique 436-2723 DUEBER F A M IL Y STORES A i/ftfe Bit o f the Best o f Everything nORTH IO H S I um is W -Î- For Holly: IH G U The nature of everything is illusory and ephemeral, Those with dualistic perception regard suffering as happiness, Like those who lick honey from a razor’s edge. How pitiful they who cling strongly to concrete reality; Turn your attention within, my heart friends. “The only true aging is the erosion of one’s ideals.” Ralph Nader 2 IttraillFTEWt JAHUMW 2-001 i -Nyoshul Khenpo <