s ta rn e ie
on
ARIES (21 Mar-19 April)
Love and money
What else? Your work hasn't gone unnoticed
The watchers like what they see, checks and
promotions in the mail Unless, o f course, you
blow it all by forcing issues or imagining
affronts Change is afoot in your love life
Fnendship to love, love to friendship
The
present always dancing into the future Think
long on this
LIBRA (23 Sept-23 Oct): In the beginning is
the act It's your movie, the reins are in your
hand, your ducks are in need o f herding Clean
up your business and money affairs On all
levels, resist your natural urge to lie down and
eat grapes What you neglect tends to neglect
you, what you need always comes Someone
am ves to play your hormones like a faery
flute
TAURUS (20 April-20 May):
Your cup
continues to runneth over, especially in the
workplace
Take everything that's offered,
give all you have Every decision is a fork in
the path, the worst decision is to forget it's
supposed to fun The goal is happiness
If
work doesn't lend itself to pleasure, you're
either doing the wrong thing or doing the right
thing wrong.
CORPIO (24 Oct-22 Nov): A good month to
leap into absolutely nothing Keep your eyes
on the horizon and your ego roped to the mast
Ignore opportunities to behave badly, make
stupid decisions and unnecessary enemies.
Just for a lark, try listening to opinions other
than your own
Expect the unexpected and
entertain the appropriate Whenever possible,
have fun
GEMINI(21 May-21 June) Oh my, the tempo
picks up, intensity nses
A good time to
productively get out o f town Something long
and large has begun and the universe helps
you celebrate by hurling interesting and pretty
people through your windows
A little
judgment keeps the fun from lurching into
lunacy, a little love keeps lust from rotting.
Mind your business
SAGITTARIUS (23 Nov-21 Dec): Beware o f
candles burning at both ends
Track your
energy
where it comes from, where it goes.
Set out to get what you want, don’t let others
take what you need
You’re hungry for
something probably understanding, certainly
adventure An affair o f the heart may provide
it. Keep plans to yourself, expect a fiscal
surprise
CAPRICORN (22 D ec-19 Jan):
Strong
partnership juju.
Mates, colleagues, friends
and a potentially nasty assortment o f wrong
choices.
You probably won't make them,
especially if you expect more from yourself
than from others and remember that the only
thing anger changes is peace and harmony.
Take o ff your armor, lead by example, say yes
to whispered questions
CANCER (22 June-22 July):
Affairs o f the
heart, change o f focus, increased depth
Yes,
the nesting instinct writ large The juju is all
good, just bear in mind you're complete
already And that, if you aren’t, you ’re hardly a
mate for anyone We all need reminding now
and then Positive forces converge in your
work Freedom, potential and money Balance
head and heart.
by Michael Burgess
ISBN 0-9657638-6-2
Uncle Mike. The Oregon
eon answers questions on
comedy from people who
asked for. Discover why,
More wit and wisdom from
Coast's resident curmudg
life, love, and the human
may get more than they|
Uncle Mike has developed
enough to qualify as a cult,
compassionate as it is
Advice as intelligent ai
makes Uncle Mike the
blunt and
unforgiving'
nightmare: someone who
victim
society's worst
believes that being human isn’t all that complicated and that we re all responsible for
over
a
the past decade,!
readership
loyalj
whatever mess we've made of our lives. If you still have questions about the wages
0, sin, the necessity of relationships, the therapeutic power 0» poker, which fork to
use with hash browns, or the role of the point conscious observer in a universe that
makes itself up as it goes along, Uncle Mike is good medicine. There is no advice
column quite like this because there is no advice columnist quite like Uncle Mike. If
you’re fond of laughing and thinking, you’ll agree.
Letters to Uncle Mike
by
AQUARIUS (20 Jan-18 Feb):
Your old
nemeses, self-criticism and doubt, nag from the
sidelines. Ignore them. Mind your business,
stay on top o f details and don’t let the world
see you sweat. Invoke compassion and serve
the guests in your life. Your spirit can be water
for thirsty travelers. Give more than you’re
asked for, get more than you need. Faith is
very high magic
VIRGO (23 August-22 Sept):
Someone
important is coming, perhaps to the sound o f
violins
Wait and watch, prepare the vessel,
discriminate between pearls and gravel
Say
yes to invitations, connect willingly and speak
your dreams. A power month if you don't let
your idiot twin short circuit in public, become
obsessive and random and rub against the
wrong leg
PISCES (19 Feb-20 Mar): Your solitude is
beautifully
disturbed
by
a person
of
importance.
Make haste slowly, consider
essentials, then fling yourself with great
abandon. Find a new perspective, renew your
faith, and depend on nothing and no one but
yourself.
You have allies you don’t know
about and strengths you haven’t measured
Find and know them
Michael Burgess
Second Printing June 2000
ISBN 0-9657638-5-4
$14.00
Coast's sobering challenge
Abby and Miss Manners
life, love, and quantum
often wish they hadn't
T he
N orth
O regon
to Ann Landers, Dear
answers questions about
reality from people who
asked.
Do friends let fnends ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ have
breast
implants?
Should one call before
dropping by? Why are men
such jerks? What do women really want? Does time go faster when you're having
fun? How do you know when your mate's cheating on you? Is homosexuality a fad?
Uncle Mike answers them all with the sensitivity and compassion he reserves for
anyone who'd ask a complete stranger for advice.
Uncle Mike’s Guide
to the Real Oregon Coast
by
LEO(23 July-22 August): The roller coaster o f
summer again Nice highs, lovely lows New
love, secret admirers, old mistakes in new
bottles You’re irresistible, sometimes to the
wrong people If nothing else, you fall in love
well, even when it’s a mistake
The real
mistake would be not to love. Lead with your
heart, spread charm and grace, don't be stupid.
$14.00
Michael Burgess
Oregon Coast written
p ro b a b ly
v a c a tio n
Uncle Mike says, “It’s
fool's paradise, another
tances getting there."
Finally, a guide to the
for those who should
somewhere else. As
one thing to live in a
to travel great dis-
here: the horizontal
Winnebagos into the
kelp, why deep-sea
mistake, why you don’,
The blunt truth is all
rain, winds that hurl
sea, the truth about
fishing is a horrible
want to be honored at
vor's guide to the na-
who could run no fur-
a crab festival. Asurvi-
tive culture (“people
ther”), the flora (“the
plan, forms are mold
reg io n 's
dom inant
and fungus"), and the
have
nothing they
leave you alone”).
fauna (“as long as you
want, most seagulls will
An award-winning journalist and native Oregonian, Burgess’s wry humor has been
praised by both Dave Barry and Ursula K. Le Guin. “Anyone who loves our coast,"
Le Guin wrote in a rare review, “will feel the awed, protective tenderness under all
the spoofing and will find this book an endearing memento and a wonderful gift.”
With disturbing illustrations by Steve McLeod.
Order Form
hok
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/2 r
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îr
O Cell: 440-0278
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Letters to Uncle M ike
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More Letters ,0 Uncle Mike
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738-7563
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Uncle M ike’s G uide to the Real
O regon Coast
ISBN 0-9657638-1-1
Bookseller
M any politicians...are in the habit of
laying it down as a self-evident
proposition, that no people ought to be
free till they are fit to use their freedom.
The maxim is worthy of the fooL.who
5 fan. A'1?
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&
Phone
Saddle Mountain Press
Email
PO Box 1096
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üfrL K L E F rZMC.ÏUU) ZOOO
I
resolved not to go into the water till he
had learned how to swim.
Thomas Babington Macauley
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