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Biting the hand that serves you.
As faithful readers are aware, your beloved
editor is known to frequent the local public house of
an evening to conduct business in a pleasant
atmosphere (take note IRS) and to tend to the
spiritual needs of the flock, while refreshing the
personal spirit as well. It is always a privilege to be
invited to sit down at a well tended bar, and to be
served with grace and good-fellowship.
So it was with some dismay that we found
one of our favorite purveyors of barley pop, visibly
upset as we settled onto a familiar barstool.
"Scheduling conflict, my....." he was
muttering.
"Problem?"we inquired.
He explained in a rather animated manner
that the folks at City Hall seemed to have forgotten
who actually makes this little village by the sea
function. "It's not loggers any more, or fishermen,
it's the service industry!"
It seems that for reasons not clear the City
decided to cancel the monthly food handlers'
classes, given by Environmental Health Specialist,
Erica VanEss in cooperation with Clatsop
Community College, and required by law to work in
any place that sells food. Our distraught barkeep
showed us a schedule that listed the date, time and
location for the classes for the whole year.
Intrepid investigative journalists that we are, we
called City Hall and left a message with the 'desk' of
the City Manager. The desk obviously relayed the
message, because returning home there was a
flashing light on our old answering machine. It was
Helen Westbrook, the occupier of the the City
Managers desk, telling us that there was some
confusion about scheduling, and there had been a
longstanding arrangement, and that.... then the old
answering machine stopped.
We called again and left another message.
While we awaited a reply we spoke to Ms.
VanEss who told us that the City had called Clatsop
Community College a 'few days' before the April
18th class was to be held and siting the dreaded
'Scheduling conflict', canceled the class. We called
City Hall and were able to speak to Helen. We must
say we didn't look forward to questioning Helen’s
judgment, but we owed it to our readers and our
service industry personnel. “What"s the deal! , we
asked doing our best Sam Donaldson impression.
Helen patiently explained the situation, well, three
times. It finally sunk in.
We called Clatsop Community College and
spoke to Ms. Unruh. She explain the situation and
only had to go through it twice. A few more calls
and we began to realize our great story about the
insensitivity of the City Government to the service
industry workers just wasn’t a story.
Here’s what went down. The City had been
allowing the food handling classes to use a space at
City Hall as a courtesy to the College and the
Environmental Health Services, because the
previous venue, the Chamber of Commerce required
that the person running the class set up the chairs
and tables required and then put them away
afterwards, and the tables and chairs were already in
place at City Hall. Makes sense. Then in March the
City noticed that the class was scheduled for the
same day in the same room as a meeting of the
Committee on the Elderly and Disabled, and the
meeting room in question was the only one with
handicap accessibility available at the required time.
So, they called Clatsop Community College and
suggest the Chamber as an alternative site. Well, the
College felt it might as well just cancel the April
class and try to get a permanent location lined up for
the June 6th class. There was no way to notify those
who needed to take the class because you don’t sign
up for the class you just show up for the class. So,
from now on the classes will be held at the Christian
Conference Center, which, in a show of Christian
charity, stepped in and solved the space problem.
The City did the right thing the College did the right
thing, and the Christians did the right thing. Ms.
VanEss explained that anyone whose food service
card expired in the interim would be give a grace
period until the June 6th class. Again, the right
thing. So, your beloved editor wasted several
peoples time, made a few of them cranky, spent a
small fortune on phone calls and has nothing to
report other than everybody is doing their best. The
City, the College, the Chamber, & the Conference
Center are doing their best, we would like to thank
them for their service. And as for the service
industry folks, we encourage our readers to show
their appreciation with a little extra tip the next time
they are served. And we must always remember
Uncle Mike's Motto;
"If it doesn't fold, it's not a tip. ©
Ps. Congratulations to Dave & Shelly and welcome
to Cannon Beach Asa!
2
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Clip this Handy Address'
List and Use It Regulativ
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White House Contacts
Hardly a pure science? history is closer to animal
husbandry than it is to mathematics, in that it
involves selective breeding. The principal
difference between the husbandryman and the
historian is that the former breeds sheep or cows or
such, and the latter breeds (assumed) facts. The
husbandryman uses his skills to enrich the future;
the historian uses his to enrich the past. Both are
usually up to their ankles in bullshit. Tom Robbins
Comment Line: 202-456-1111
Fax: 202-456-2461
Clinton: president@whitehouse.gov
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White House: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave,
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Capitol Switchboard: 202-224-3121
U.S. Senate, Washington D.C. 20510
House o f Representatives,
Washington D.C. 20515
Senator Ron Wyden
W HERE TO GET AN EDGE
Cannon Beach: Jupiter'» Rare and Used Books,
Osburn'» Grocery, The Cookie Co., Coffee Cabaña.
BUI'» Tavern. Cannon Beach Book Co., Hane s
Bakerle. The Bistro. Midtown Café, Once Upon a
Breeze. Copie» A Fax. Haystack Video, Mariner
Market. E spresso Bean. Ecola Square A Clean line
S u rf
M anzanita: Mother Nature'» J u k e Bar.
C assandra ». Manzanita News A Espresso. A
Nehalem Bay Video
Rockaway: Neptune's Used Books
T illam ook : Rainy Day Books A Tillamook Library
Bay City: Art Space
Yachats: By-the-Sea Books
Pacific City: The River House,
O ceanside Ocean Side Espresso
L incoln City: TrUllum Natural Foods. Driftwood
Library. A Lighthouse Brewpub
Newport: Oceana Natural Foods. Ocean Pulse Surf
Shop. Sylvia Beach Hotel. A Canyon Way Books
E ugene Book Mark. Café Navarra. Eugene Publk
Library. Friendly St. Market. Happy Trails.
Keystone Café, Klva Foods. Lane C.C.. Light For
M usk. New Frontier Market. Nineteenth Street
Brew Pub. Oasis Market. Perry s. Red Bam Grocery.
Sundance Natural Foods. U o í O. A WOW Hall
Corvallis: The Environmental Center. OSU
Salem : Heliotrope. Salem Library, A The Peace
Store
Astoria: KMUN, Columbian Café. The Community
Store. The Wet Dog Cafe, Astoria Coffee Company.
Café U niontown. A The River
Seaside: Buck's Book Bam . Universal Video, A
Café E spresso
Portland: Artkhoke M usk. Laughing Horse
Bookstore. Act HI. Barnes A Noble. Belmonts Inn.
Bibelot Art OaUery. Bijou Café. Borders. Bridgeport
Brew Pub. Capt'n B eans (two locations). Center for
the Healing Light. Coffee People (three locations).
Common Grounds Coffee. East Avenue Tavern.
Food Front. Ooose Hollow Inn. Hot Lips Pizza. Java
Bay Café. Key Largo. La Pattlsserk. Lewis A Clark
College. Locals Only, M arcos Pizza. Marylhurst
College. Mt. Hood C M usk Millenium. Nature's
(two locations). NW Natural Gas. OHSU Medkal
School. Old Wives Tales. Ozone Records. Papa
Haydn. PCC (four locations). PSU (two locations).
Reed College. Third Eye. Multnoma Central
Library, and most branches A the YWCA.
Ashland Garo's Java House. The Black Sheep.
Blue Mt. Café. A Rogue River Brewery
Cave Junction: Coffee Heaven A Kerby Community
Market
Grants Pass: The Book Shop
(Out of Oregon)
Vancouver, WA: The Den
Longview, WK. The Broadway Gallery
Naaelle, WA. Rainy Day Artistry
N ahcotta, WA Moby Dick Hotel
Duvall. WA Duvall Books
Bainbridge laland. WA Eagle Harbor Book Co
S eattle, WA Elliot Bay Book Co.. Honey Bear
Bakery. New Orleana Restaurant. Still Life In
Fremont. Allegro C offeehouse. The Last Exit Coffee
House, A Bulldog News
San rran claco. C A City Lights Bookstore
D enver, Co: Denver Folklore Cente
W ashington, D.C.t Hotel Tabard Inn
(Out o f U.S-A)
Paria, France! Shakespeare h Cle
Brighton. England! The Public Houae Bookstore
•A sm all paper for a amaU plane!.~
|>~UPPER«L E F T -E D G E -4
DC: 202-224-5244, Fax: 202-228-2717;
Portland: 503-326-7525, Fax: 503-326-
7528; Eugene: 541-431-0229.
senate@ wyden .senate. gov.
Senator Gordon Smith
E d lto r/P u b lis h e r/J s n lto r:
The Beloved Reverend Billy Lloyd Hults
Graphics Editor. The Humble Ms Sally
Louise l^ckaff
Copy Editor/Science Editor/Volcs
of Reason/Uoclc Mike/etc.: Michael
Burges«
W ildlife Info rm sn t/M u sic Reporter
at Large: Peter ’ Spud" Siegel
im p ro visa tional E n g in eer
Dr. Karkeys
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Myma Uhlig
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Life on the "O ther Edge":
Meg Stivison
Local C olour Ron Logan
Two Drinks Ahead: Damn Peters
Web Mother: Liz Lynch
Essential Services: Ginni Callahan
Ad Sales: Katherine Mace
M ajor Distribution
Ambling Bear
Distribution
And A Cast O f Thousands!!
DC: 202-224-3753, Fax: 202-228-3997;
Portland: 503-326-3386, Fax: 503-326-
2900; e-mail:
Oregon@ gsmith.senate.gov
Rep. David Wu, 1st District
DC: 202-225-0855, Fax: 202-225-
9497; Portland: 503-326-2901, Fax:
503-326-5066; e-mail:
david.wu@ mail.house.gov
Rep. Greg Walden, 2nd District
DC: 202-225-6730, Fax: 202-225-5774;
Medford: 541-776-4646,
greg.walden@mail.house.gov
Rep. Earl Blumenauer, 3rd District
DC: 202-225-4811, Fax: 202-225-8941;
Portland: 503-231-2300; Fax: 503-230-
5413; write.earl@mail.house.gov
Rep. Peter DeFazio, 4th District
DC: 202-225-6416, Fax: 202-225-0032;
Eugene: 541-465-6732, Fax: 541-465-
6458, 1-800-944-9603;
peter.defazio@mail.house.gov
Rep. Darlene Hooley, 5th District
Advertising rates:
Business Card Size Ad
$30.
l/l6 th approx. 3x5
S35.
l/8th approx4x7
S50.
lX4th approx. 6 1/2 x 9 $100.
1/2 page
$150.
Full page
$300.
Back page
S40Û.
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requested. We are usually on
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Governor Kitzhaber: 503-378-3 111;
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Sen. or Rep. (Legislator's name),
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Oregon PeaceWorker: 503-371-8002;
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Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now
pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
H.L. Mencken
U?PCK LEFT EDGE J t t i i 2000
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