r The Professor has ciphered his tim e allocations fo r w ritin g this Hults' thing and figures he'll "double- dip" one or tw o more o f these pieces to m aximize his time at the machine. I f I give my readers another snippet o f quasi-historical stuff, I can sandwich it into that opus I'm hacking out fo r the Arts folks. Pardon my sloth, gentle readers, but I'm fra il and computer-screen weary. I thought I'd have a peek at hitch-hiking this time. In my youth days, hitch-hiking was a way o f life. Some old rattle heap invariable broke down, was stolen, or simply didn't exist. As a teen-ager, some event or diversion demanded attendance. W ith no wheels, the thumb provided the only solution to a pressing problem. One could hitch-hike in another day. Honest, clean-cut youth gypsied the roads w ithout fear o f social stigma. N ow only Road Indians, Meth freaks, wine wasters, and the homeless take to the macadam. Oh, there was a m ild degree o f incipient danger and social sneering that attended thum bing in the older time, I'll grant you that. But civilized people could participate N ow only hugger muggers and scum balls lurk the highways. W ould you pick up one o f those skulking dogs? No. We had techniques. W earing a baseball uniform helped. A soldier's uniform virtually guaranteed a ride. 50's and 60's people remembered Norman Rockwell. H itch -hikin g was M iddle American and A-okay. That wouldn't w ork today. Martha Steward doesn't like hitch-hikers, that's obvious. We had tricks. Some kid would grab his parents' car and d iive a bunch o f us to the Cannon Beach Junction. We'd park the car by the old Union 76 Station and pop the hood; the kid who needed a ride to Portland or other parts sat in the car. A few heads leaned into the motor cavity and feigned motor repair. One earnest, tidy, glib sort (usually Norman W ilcox) stuck his thumb out and waited fo r a sympathetic driver. When a m otorist stopped, he would spin a sad tale o f motor trouble and the poor kid in the car who desperately needed to v isit a dying relative. Shamefully, this ploy almost always succeeded. H itching had its bad Juju even then. One tim e A lv in Hyde and I teamed up to thumb to Cannon Beach from The City. W e wallked to the cemetery at Sylvan. In the early '60's everything west o f Sylvan was the country, fa ir game fo r hitch-hiking. The day was lazy and spring-like. A lv in stuck out his thumb, and Bang! an elderly gent in a '49 Desoto coupe took the bait and ground to a halt by the side o f the road. We ran up to the car, opened the door, and scrambled inside. "Howdy, boys," a grizzled old duck greeted us. "A in 't this a fine day!" A w h iff o f Dago Red and bad underclothes permeated the air. "I'm takin' this here car to the coast to unload her. Haven't driven in fifteen years since I lost my license! This old girl's been sittin* in a field fo r ten years. Look at that grass growin* in there. Say son, (to A lv in ), could you reach under the seat and reach me that wine. I'm powerful thirsty." A lv in glanced at me and tightened his chin, giving me "the look." He hauled out a gallon o f Fam iglia Cribari in a big paper sack and handed it to the driver. The old boy slung it over one shoulder and gulped fo r the better part o f ten minutes, slaloming the car down the highway in both lanes. Oncoming cars honked at him. "There's my friend Jake!" he'd say as some irate m otorist layed on the horn. "Boy, I've got a lo t o f friends! You boys ain't scared, are ya !" "Jesus," A lv in whispered to me, "we've got to get out o f here!" The old boy lay down the bottle and commenced gum m ing and drooling over a Pall M all straight. "Here, lig h t this fo r me, would ya? I'm havin' some trouble here." M y innards gave a peristaltic twinge as A lv in lit the spittled smoke. Just before Oney's Restaurant we squealed through that long hairpin curve above the Nehalem R iver in the oncoming lane. A loaded log truck ground down on us from the other direction. 'Good C hrist!" yelled A lv in , and grabbed the wheel ju st in time to save our lives. When we got to Oney's a m ile down the road, my je llie d knees and fib rilla tin g heart nearly failed me. "I'm going in fo r a beer and some grub. You boys cornin' in?" "We live just over there," I told him "Thanks." A lv in and I scrambled out like two rats from a house afire and headed fo r the drainage ditch and the tim ber beyond. "You boys ain't scare, are ya?" A lv in yelled hysterically. "That was somethin' crazy." WHERE TO GET AN EDGE M y friend V io le t Thompson died Saturday. For the past thirty years, V i and her husband Don occupied the Wave Crest Hotel, a place o f refuge fo r a vast and scattered assemblage o f guests and friends. Those who were fortunate enough to spend time in that special place cherish the memory as I do. Their conception o f the hotel as a gathering place, a place fo r sharing ideas, flights o f imagination, good food and good fellowship persisted throughout those times. M y gratitude to them both is w ithout bounds. In her quiet and thoughtful way, V iolet influenced by example, illustrated w ith humor, piqued curiosity w ith query. "W hy is that," she would insist. V i had scant time fo r sloppy thinking, far less fo r contemporary conceits and superficialities. She has been a confidant, teacher, sounding board, and the best o f frie n d s-tru ly the finest kind. "Just because you find yourself in the m inority," she would tell me, "that doesn't mean you're wrong! Lots o f people out there who make the decisions are idiots, that's obvious. Stick to your guns. There are lots o f ways o f doing things, but most o f them aren't the right way." Vi's interests ranged wide. She read tw o or three books a week, kept abreast o f contemporary issues, challenged one to engage in considered action. A vast repository o f information, she served as a keen intellectual resource when questions o f history or philosophy arose. She rarely erred. " I f you had only one day left on earth," she would ask, "what would you do?" , I would confess some confusion about those matters. "W hy, plant a tree, o f course," she would tell me, sm iling gently. V iole t didn't have the opportunity to plant her beloved Sitka spruce trees this spring. For those o f you who knew her, I would suggest taking her part this spring and planting a spruce seedling in a place close to your hearts. "That's ju st fine," she would say. SMon - (5al 9 am - 6 pm 57 Cooperative Clore CFoods Qrocery Astoria Uane , ) 3 2 5 -0 0 2 7 Q o o d fo r y o u ... Q o o d fo r tbe P ia n e ti The reward o f energy, enterprise and thrift is. . . taxes. W illiam Feather C annon Beach: Jupiter's Rare and Used Books, Os bum 's Groceiy, The Cookie Co., Coffee Cabaña. Bill's Tavern, Cannon Beach Book Co., Hane's Bakerie, The Bistro, Midtown Café, Once Upon a Breeze, Copies & Fax, Haystack Video, Mariner Market, E spresso Bean, Ecola Square & Cleanline Surf M anzanita: Mother Nature's Juice Bar, C assandra's, M anzanita News & Espresso, & N ehalem Bay Video T illam ook : Rainy Day Books B ay City: Art Space Yachats: By-the-Sea Books P acific City: The River House, O ceanside: Ocean Side Espresso L in c o ln City: Trillium Natural Foods, Driftwood Library, & Lighthouse Brewpub Newport: Oceana Natural Foods, Ocean Pulse Surf Shop, Sylvia Beach Hotel, Green Gables Bookstore/ B&B, & Canyon Way Books Eugene: Book Mark, Café Navarra, Eugene Public Library, Friendly St. Market, Happy Trails, Keystone Café, Kiva Foods, Lane C.C., Light For M usic, New Frontier Market, Nineteenth Street Brew Pub, O asis Market, Perry's, Red Bam Grocery, Sun dance Natural Foods, U of O, & WOW Hall C orvallis: The Environm ental Center, OSU Salem : Heliotrope, Salem Library, & The Peace Store A storia: KMUN, Colum bian Café, The Community Store, The Wet Dog Cafe, Astoria Coffee Company, Café Uniontown, & The River S ea sid e: Buck's Book B am , Universal Video, & Café E spresso Portland: Artichoke M usic, Laughing Horse Bookstore, Act III, Barnes & Noble, Belm onts Inn, Bibelot Art Gallery, Bijou Café, Borders, Bridgeport Brew Pub, Capt'n B eans (two locations), Center for th e H ealing Light, Coffee People (three locations), Com m on G rounds Coffee, E ast Avenue Tavern, Food Front, G oose Hollow Inn, Hot Lips Pizza, Java B ay Café, Key Largo, La Pattisserie, Lewis & Clark College, Locals Only, Marco's Pizza, Marylhurst College, Mt. Hood CC, Music Millenium, Nature's (two locations), NW Natural Gas, OHSU Medical School, Old Wives Tales, Ozone Records, Papa H aydn, PCC (four locations), PSU (two locations), Reed College, Third Eye, M ultnoma Central Library, and m ost branches & the YWCA Ashland: Garo's Java House, The Black Sheep, Blue Mt. Café, & Rogue River Brewery C ave J u n ction : Coffee Heaven & Kerby Community M arket G rants Pass: The Book Shop (Out o f Oregon) Vancouver, W A The Den L ongview , WA: The Broadway Gallery N a se lle , W A Rainy Day Artistry N a h co tta , W A Moby Dick Hotel D u vall, W A Duvall Books j B ainbridge Island , WA Eagle Harbor Book Co. S e a ttle , WA: Elliot Bay Book Co., Honey Bear Bakery, N ew O rleans Restaurant, Still Life in Frem ont, Allegro Coffeehouse, The Last Exit Coffee H ouse, & Bulldog News S a n F ra n cisco , CA: City Lights Bookstore D en ver, Co: Denver Folklore Center N ew York, NY: The Strand Book Company W ashington , D.C.: Hotel Tabard Inn (Out o f U.S A .) P aris, France: Shakespeare & Cie B righ ton , England: The Public House Bookstore “A sm all paper for a sm all planet.” | r~U PPER-LEFT-E DGLul if RESTAURANT CasuaQy ‘E iegant (Dining Located in the Cannon 'Beach Ptotel 1116 S . yfemiocii (503)436-0908 ‘J fyservations Suggested Light Lunch 1 2 :0 0 -4 :0 0 (Homemade soups, chowders, bread a n d delightful desserts (Dinner Served 4:00 - 9:00 A w a rd winning chowders, unique salads pasta, seafood, stea ls a n d chiefen M onday - (free/(Specials "Wednesday ■ Pasta Specials Closed Sunday Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln Editor/Publisher/Janitor: The Beloved Reverend B illy Lloyd Hults Graphics Editor: The Humble Ms. Sally Louise Lackaff Copy Editor/Science Editor/Voice of Reason/Unde Mike/etc.: Michael Burgess W ildlife Inform ant/M usic Reporter at Large: Peter "Spud" Siegel Education E d ito r Peter Lindsey Improvisational Engineer: Dr. Karkeys Paste/Production/Proof Reader Myma Uhlig Bass P layer B ill Uhlig Poetry Editor: John Buckley Political Consultant: Kathleen Krushas History E d ito r Douglas Deur Environmental News: K im Bossé Lower Left Beat Victoria Stoppiello M r. Baseball: Jeff Larson Local C olour Ron Logan June's Garden: June K roft W EB Builder: L iz Lynch WEB Ad Sales: Virginia Bruce Essential Services: Ginnt Callahan Ad Sales: Katherine Mace M ajo r Distribution: Ambling Bear Distribution Assistant W hite Space Coordinator: Karen Brown And A Cast O f Thousands!! 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UPPER LtfT EWE IS now orrtRiNfr CowruTtRutss C-MML Access, wtB Sm C onstruction , B annla A rts W ith A BLACM FR j ENDL.9 ATTITUDE www us^Wftsije com im itrt -mi «»ne-------------------------------------- raw_______ (we want your phone number In case we can't read your writing) "Uncle Mike’s Guide to the Real Oregon Coast": Autographed Limited edition $20 e a .____ Copies •Letters to Uncle Mike": Autographed Limited edition $ 1 5 _____ Copies "Wildlife on the Edge": Autographed Limited edition $20_______ Copies (Checks or money orders only) $ Enclosed_________ gl The Writers' Block •»KMUN 91.9FM/6tiMát at I fun