Dear Uncle Mike,
I think I've got a problem. My
boyfriend's ex girlfriend is still part of his
circle. This woman and I have never liked
each other, wouldn't like each other whether
we had a lover in common or not. There's
nothing going on between them but they're
obviously close and sometimes this makes me
furious. I know it's stupid, 1 know it's jealousy
over nothing. My boyfriend is getting fed up
and I can see why.
I know what I have to do, change my attitude and behavior. 1 guess
what I'm asking you is, know any quick and easy ways to do this?
S.R., Reno
Dear S.R.,
Interesting words, quick and easy. Uncle Mike eagerly awaits any
signs of quick and easy solutions to anything. There are quick and relatively
easy actions which, if appropriate, lead to eventual solutions. Interesting word,
solution. The first thing to do is separate your feelings from your behavior.
There is no rule that says you must bond with this woman. There are rules
that say you must, or at least should, be courteous and polite. You simply
promise yourself you'll carry this off come hell or high water. Anything less
than grace and charm is, or should be, beneath you. If, for no other reason,
than that this woman is important to your partner.
Will this be easy? Probably not. It can, however, be fun. Or at least
entertaining. There's nothing phony about charming the socks off unpleasant
dinner companions. It comes under the heading, or used to, of social skills.
Even cow persons in sawdust saloons think twice about calling someone a
polecat. Make the first move. Take her hand, or hug her with an acceptable
level of insincerity, say it's nice to see her, then move on. She'll be baffled
and you must resist the urge to take advantage. Behave impeccably while
maintaining reserve. You're not trying to make a friend, you're eliminating an
enemy.
Changing your actions changes the system and her actions will change
as a result. Next comes thought. Find something good about this woman
(there must be something if your partner, a man of obvious good taste, was
with her) and admit to yourself she's not the devil incarnate. When you think
something negative about her, relentlessly balance it with something positive.
It might help to say this aloud, in the bathroom, with your hand held over a
candle flame.
Change in thought will result in change of feelings. Mental activity is
electromagnetic, quick and active. Emotions are biochemical states, slow to be
flushed away and replaced by something more appropriate. With the right
attitude, you'll begin to feel differently about her. Unless, of course, she turns
out to be the cheap hussy you thought she was and confuses your lack of
hostility with weakness.
1235 S. Hemlock, Cannon Beach, OR
(503) 436-1016
“ In n o u a tiu e
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the ta s te ”
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3201 S.
No diet will remove al, the fat from your body because the
brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good,
but all you could do is run for public office. Covert Bailey
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4 3 6 - O I2 9 J
Dear Uncle Mike,
Custom fashions
for the home
I feel silly calling you uncle since I'm probably older than you are.
I've been married for twenty-seven years and still my husband amazes me.
We went to my sister's for a family reunion. Just about everyone was there.
After dinner (we ate at about three), my husband asked my brother in law if
he could borrow an upstairs bedroom for a nap. I was mortified. Right in the
middle of things, he slips off for half an hour. I didn't know what to say to
the family. And he still doesn't think he did anything wrong. You'll probably
agree with him but I thought I'd give it a try. Dear Abby gets so many letters,
she'd probably not answer.
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Leslie
Wood
4 3 6 -0 2 7 9
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A SHO E & A C C E S S O R Y B O U TIO U E
503 4 36 0 577
239 N HEM LO C K
Laura D., Seattle
Dear Laura,
CANNON BEACH, OREGON
Surprise, Uncle Mike thinks you're right about two things. Dear Abby
probably wouldn't have answered your letter. She's very busy trying to help
people with real problems. Uncle Mike is busy too, but he's a much nicer
person. You're also right about who Uncle Mike sides with on the question of
naps. Naps are a big part of the pursuit of happiness which means countless
of his countrymen and women have died to defend his right to curl up with a
blanket whenever he wants.
Uncle Mike doesn't know your family. He can only hope for your
husband's sake it's peopled with those who'd also agree you're full of beans.
There's no item in the social code that says he can't slip off for a short snooze
and Uncle Mike seriously doubts the festivities foundered as a result. If so,
your family needs to be put to sleep. Feel free to try Abby for a second
opinion.
—
Q
Cannon Beach
In Coaster Theater Courtyard
Established 1977
Featuring Norlhwcsi, California
& Imported Wines
Collector Wines From 1875
Through Current Vintages
Featuring Over 1000 Wines
Wine Racks, Glasses &
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W ORKS
□ LA
© o
' ©
Dear Uncle Mike,
My son is nine. He has a friend who's having a birthday party. The
friend has a sister a year younger whose birthday is two days later. The party
is for both of them and many of the children are planning to sleep over. I'm
not sure about youngsters this age lolling around in their jammies watching
videos together. I've met the parents only once. They seem nice, but who
knows? Am I being old fashioned?
T i e -----------------
J im
P o s t
O f f ic i
C annon
P hons
BANK OF
ASTORIA
K in o w c u l
B a x
I cach , OR
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• 4 3 6
3 B 2
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Every Saturday Afternoon
1-5 PM
Member FDIC
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From Around The World
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A Mom, Portland, Oregon
Open 11 AM-5 PM - Closed Tues.
Astoria Warrenton
Seaside Cannon Beach
Dear Mom,
436-1100
124 N Hemlock
P.O. Box iS2, Cannon Beach OR 97110
No dear, you're not being old fashioned. You're being ridiculous.
You should be delighted your son and his friends even want to be in the same
room with girl humans. Uncle Mike doubts seriously that the party will
deteriorate into anything resembling the debauchery you imagine. If you
want to play it especially safe, give your son a squirt gun and tell him
to use it on anyone who suggests playing spin the bottle. Especially if they're
in bunny pajamas.
G e n e ra l
C o u n s e lin g
In d iv id u a ls
The cherry tomato is a marvelous invention, producing as it
does a satisfactory explosive squish when bitten.
Miss Manners
C o u p le s
&
V ic to r
4 3 6 -9 2 2 5
Oortrx
Awaken Your Body...
'
awaken your mind, awaken your heart,
awaken vq wr life.
X.
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Chuck Sve, LMT
^Sarahjoy Marsh, PRYT
Wo»h*rxgton Steif« L»c»rw«
-A A F 2 0 0 0 0 4 0
223-81Q 0
Portland
Personal Injury Lawyer
GREGORY KYFOl KY
202 Oregon Pioneer Building
320 S.W. Stark Street
Portland. OR 97204
beservatiohs :
Phone:
<503) 224-2647
436-2661
JSHJJHEMmCK^CANNOJTBEACH
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