The upper left edge. (Cannon Beach, Or.) 1992-current, June 01, 1997, Page 2, Image 2

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    The ripper Left Edge offers an ad as
a premium to encourage membership
and support for KMUN community
supported radio in these parts. We
would like to thank Parnassus Books
for their support, and urge our
advertisers and readers to support
public access, and community radio
and television where ever they live
ed-
Qev.
Hults
Editorial £
Ttv. Jtwp I) llOiniM
Of
all q rta t htrratun,m lu»0:
VV« /lU no fnte« or traihet.
Now & Then
Loi-nj <f booth an utUowu ken.
NO clerks
will fobW« m i)0ur tar.
Please Jnuke - but don't dr of tubes!
Now for some good news. “ Uncle Mike’s Guide
to the Real Oregon Coast with disturbing illustrations
by Steve McLeod” is a run-away best seller, at least
in these parts. There is barely half ot the onginal
printing of one thousand copies lelt. And it barely
got out before April Fool’s Day. Do the math. On
Memorial Day week-end the Sunday Oregonian
printed a (shall we say glowing?) review written by
Ursula K. Lc Guin, perhaps the most ‘decorated’
and some would say ‘dangerous writer (she doesn t
think like the other children) in Oregon. And as one
would imagine, she seemed to enjoy the book as
much as we do. May we quote? “To be serious for
a moment, Stev e McLeod’s drawings arc beaulilul
and masterful in their casual accuracy.”... “Anyone
who loves our coast will feel the awed, protective
tenderness under all the spoofing and will t ind this
book an endearing memento and a wonder! ul gilt.”
That woman knows how to boost sales. Speaking ot
sales, yes you too could own one ol the limited
edition, autographed (No, Steve & Mike, writer’s
cramps are not cov ered in the Oregon healthcare
plan.) First Edition of this classic-to-be, by filling
out the coupon below, and sending us money. Us,
in this case being the Lelt Coast Group. Our laithtul
and patient readers will remember that the Lett Coast
Group is a non-profit corporation set up by your
beloved Rev., so he could beg for money to do all
the stuff he really wanted to do, but couldn’t aflord.
Well, it’s working!!! With the funds from Mike’s
books (Don’t forget Letters to Uncle Mike, the
Upper Left Edge’s less than polite answer to Dear
Abby, also see form below ), we hope to hav e almost
enough to print w hat was to be our first project,
Sally LackatTs “Wildlife on the Edge”.
Sally’s book, twice the size of the limited
handbound edition ol 100 she eral ted to lutill her
grant from the Cannon Beach Arts Association, is in
fact finished and ready for the printer. Yes, we
know we have said this before, but it is very difficult
to pry it from her fingers. As our number one
absolute proof reader she tends to seek perfection, a
fault your belov ed rev. has ov ercome, obv iously.
But, she seems willing to go with it, and it we can
get a few more adv anced sales, and donations, we
expect to have it in your hands by... fall. It depends
on the fire season, if it’s bad she might be at the fire
lookout til late September, early October, who
knows. We will, of course, keep you informed.
Okay, here comes the pitch; The Lett Coast
Group began with the idea of taking piles of paper
with words and drawings and making them into
books. We love books. The plan was to give grants
to writers and artists so that they would complete a
project that would become a book. Then to work
with them until that happened. Then we would pnnt
the book with funds we had raised (1000 copies
only), distribute, promote and sell the book, give
them copies of the book to give away, and hope tor
the best. Well, as we said, it worked. Not only has
our first endeavor succeeded, in that it got a voice —
a book out there - it has done what we hoped would
happen. Based on the sales and acceptance ot
“Uncle Mike’s Guide” Michael and Darlene Dube
(who put up with Mike, Steve, Your Cranky Rev.,
the limitations of PageMaker and computers of all
kinds, as well as several ‘experts’ who apparently
didn’t speak any known language, and still put out a
product that stands on its merits) have tormed Saddle
Mountain Press (A subsidiary of The Sunset
Company.
T h ere’s so m u ch com ed y on telev isio n .
D o es th a t c a u se com ed y in th e streets?
--Dick C avett
Tarnassus Booty
^Astoria, Ormon
9 7 '° 3 J
T m f /i Street
¿3 4
•Monday through Saturday
' 3 Z S ' ’3 63
,0 -y.'JO
V,cl>
A V A 'L A G > C £ d O b M l
Unde Mike's Guide to the Real Oregon Coast - $14.95
"There are many p re tty guides to the Oregon Coast. This isn't one o f
them
The author is a native Oregonian who assumes you want the
truth I t s one thing to live in a fool's paradise, another to travel great
distances getting to it." The p e rfe c t guide fo r people who should
vacation elsewhere
L ette rs to Unde M ike - $10.95
The N o rth Oregon Coast's sobering challenge to Ann Landers, Dear Abby
and Miss Manners answers questions about life, love, and quantum reality
from people who often wish they hadn't asked
d M Srapk.d cop,,, a n analabl, a, Japuar » Kan S U n d BaaU and UTal. Kml Call.ry fa , rilpdly n o n
CURRENTLY AVAILABLE AT —
CAUUOU rUCH — J u p ite r'» Rare A Used Books • Cannon Beach Book Company • W h ite Bird Gallery •
Ecola Square Books • H enry's • Homegrown C afe • C afe Cabana
asWPA — Parnassus Books • Brass Pelican Books
SUTTU — E llio tt Bay Book Company • Borders
H cM -
Marketplace Books
H W P O e T - Sylvia Beach H o te l • Cosmos C afe A G allery • Canyon W a y Books • Green Gables Book-
HAHZAMn — P acific Coast Books
poenAUf — Annie Bloom's Books • Powell's C ity o f Books • Looking Gloss Books
efMPTOH — Powell s Books
GUPW r -
A G re a t Shop
TtuAMOOr — Rainy Day Books
WAiPPOBT— Blue Ir is Bookstore
Place your order by phone • fax • mail • email
The Sunset Company • PO Box 1056 • Cannon Beach, OR 97110
Phone/Fax 503-436-2602 • 800-668-6105 • ddube@seasurf.com
|>~UPPERLEFTEDGËZil
Name_
Address.
E d ito r /P u b lis h e r /J a n ito r : The
Beloved Reverend Billy Lloyd Hults
G r a p h ic s E ditor: The Humble Ms.
Sally Louise Lackaff
Date.
Phone.
#of years, u p to 3.
S Enclosed_______
. @ $30 p er year
LITT COAST &WMP m o m row
D awn S mith
R easonable
R ates
C onfidential
R eferences
A vailable
M argaret K ing
P.0. Box 544
C annon B each , OR 97110
(503) 717-4035
. Date.
Phone
(we w ant y o u r p h o n e n u m b e r in case we c a n ’t re a d y o u r w riting)
U ncle M ike’s G uide to th e Real Oregon C oast”:
A utographed lim ited edition $20 e a . ------ Copies
“L etters to U ncle Mike":
A u tographed lim ited edition $ 1 5 -------- Copies
“W ild life o n th e E dge”:
A utographed Limited edition $20------------ Copies
(Checks o r m oney o rd ers only)
$ Enclosed--------------
Im a g in a tio n is th e on e w eap on in the war
a g a in st reality.
K dvertising F orm
Tim Davis
P O Box 174 Totovana Park. OR 97145 CCB # 41095
OMPLETE *
CO NSC IEN TIO US
*
CLEAN
z
UITU UFT CDU JUNE H77
Krushas
E n v ir o n m e n ta l N ew s: Kim Bosse
M r. B aseb all: Jeff Lairson
L ocal C olour: Ron Logan
J u n e 's G ard en : June Kroft
W E B B u ild er: Liz Lynch
E sse n tia l S erv ices: Ginni Callahan
B u sin ess: Becky Hart
Ad S ales: Katherine Mace
M a jo r D istrib u tion : Ambling Bear
A s s ista n t W h ite S p a c e
C o o r d in a to r : Karen Brown
A nd A C ast O f T h o u sa n d s!!
Name.
A d v ertisin g rates:
Address.
Business Card Size Ad
$30.
1 / 1 6th approx. 3 x 5
$35.
l/8 th approx 4 x 7
$50.
lX4th approx. 6 1 / 2 x 9 $100.
1 /2 page
$150.
Full page
$300.
Back page
$400.
. . . p e r m o n th . Paym ent is due
th e 15th of th e m o n th p rio r to
th e issue in w hich th e ad is to
a p p e a r. C am era re a d y art is
re q u ested . We are usually on
th e stre ets by th e first
w eekend o f th e m onth.
436-0679
hris Beckman
B ass Player: Bill Uhlig
P o etry E d itor: John Buckley
W in e E xp ert: Jim Anderson
P o litic a l C o n su ltan t: Kathleen
Distribution
U. LL
[AMLET BUILDERS, INC.
Karkeys
Myma Uhlig
Address.
L icensed
B onded
I nsured
C o p y E d ito r /S c ie n c e E d ito r /V o ic e
o f R e a s o n /I n d ia n C o u n tr y /U n c le
M ik e/etc.: Michael Burgess
W ild life I n fo r m a n t/M u s ic R e p o r te r
at Large: Peter "Spud" Siegel
E d u ca tio n Editor: Peter Lindsey
I m p r o v is a tio n a l E n gin eer: Dr.
P a s t e /P r o d u c t io n /P r o o f R eader:
Name.
D Ci Mi IftUUOftXftV-
Well. D o rftitju st figger.
Reverend Hults called me into his office two months
ago and sheepishly, regretfully, notified me that I was
pink-slipped, placed on permanent waivers. After the
shock wore off, I retuned home to my roost, crestfallen
and hollow, and informed my loved ones that the string
had ended. T ie Professors writing duties and The Upper
Left Edge itself had ended.
I tried to relax, sighed, choked back the tears, dusted
o ff the chaise lounge, chilled down a flagon o f Sheafs
Stout, and settled in for the humiliation o f forced
retirem ent
Gradually the mortification subsided. Well-
intentioned friends consoled me.
"You’ll have blocks o f quality time to yourself now."
"You should take up golf!" (Golf! Who do they think
I am? Spiro Agnew?)
"Look on the bright side. Those enemies you made
may forget you now.”
"Volunteer for a few hours a week at the Chamber o f
Commerce. Maybe help with promoting the Sandcastle
C ontest"
"Get a pet. Dogs can take your mind off problems in
a time o f loss. I read about it in Redbook Magazine."
Ye Gods and little fishhooks! I conjured visions of
Schnauzers and Cockapoos running amok in my
bachelor's quarters, scroffling and soiling my carpets,
slavering on my feet, rubbing scabrous hot spots against
my bare legs. Loidy! Tliat fairly gave me the Pan Tods.
Tlien Bill’s Tavern went down hard. I don't need to
describe for you the horrors, the spiritual vacuum, that
cataclysm created. For the first two weeks I encountered
scores o f grown, men mumbling piteously to themselves,
vacant-eyed, shambling, and disoriented. At the
emotional nadir, I sunk lower than a maggot in whale
excrement. I was that low.
Last week Billy cast out the lifeline. He planned to
jum p start the Upper Left Edge after a two-month lay­
off.
"I'll want your piece by the 15th. We're going to
press."
So here I am again, rummaging ab o u t sniffing for
some grots and bits o f material, trundling out the old
saws and shopworn lines, cadging the odd quote o r
phrase. For this lead o ff article on the ledge o f the New
Edge, I thought I'd begin with a few observations, maybe
sling a little m ud to loosen up the caustic muscles.
Seaside, Oregon's premier resort, introduced its
fabulous outlet mall during the Edge's downtime. My
friend Betsy refers to it as "Attica W est" some allusion
to predominate architectural features. "A diamond in a
billy goat's arse" comes to mind, perhaps a zircon in tins
instance. The city's comprehensive land-use plan must be
written on the back o f a discarded Pamper. I’m told that
in certain o f that city's circles our town is referred to as
"Cannot Beach." Harrumph.
On tic sliinier side, our own library addition seems to
be progressing nicely. W eather conditions remind the
Professor of Fiji. The cathedral at Bill's received a
liandsome web work o f beams last week, a promising
harbinger o f early completion. T ic verdure o f early
sum m er lias never been more pronounced and varied.
Soon tire pelicans arrive. The Upper Left Edge should
hit tic streets by June. ATI's right with the world.
Phone.
Starting Date__
Size of a d .
N um ber of issues.
Tear sheets?_
Contact Person___
_ $Enclosed___