Dear Uncle Mike,
I read your column all the time
and you sound pretty cool so I
thought I'd write and ask your
advice. I'm 17 and will graduate this
year. My grades are good and I
don't get into trouble The only
problem I have is my boyfriend Or
rather my parents He's 22 and my
folks think he's too old for me. He's
not. We love each other and do lots
of stuff together.
It's not like I'm going to run off and get married. Does our age difference really matter?
don't think so What do you think? I promise I'll listen
Pamela Truzinski
Certified Midwife
L.D.E.M., L.M.T.
755-9607
Home Birth
Prenatal & Postpartum Care
Massage Therapy
Herbalist
Kirsten in Lake Oswego
Dear Kirsten,
Uncle Mike is glad you think he’s pretty cool. There are those who would tell you
you're young and have much to learn.
Does age difference really matter? All things being relative, it depends. As any
used car salesman will tell you, it's not the age it's the mileage There are 17 year olds
Uncle Mike would trust with his car, if he had one. There are 22 year olds who need
instructions to chew gum. The issue is maturity, a boring word that means having the
experience necessary to make sound decisions. One of the soundest decisions you
can make is to listen to your elders. Especially those who know and love you.
Uncle Mike is glad to hear of your lack of plans to marry. It reminds him of one of
the many parables of poker There are good hands, there are bad hands, and it's a long
game
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Dear Uncle Mike,
E m m a W h it e B u ild in g
1064 H e m lo c k - M id to w n C a n n o n B e a c h
Do you think they're going to legalize marijuana? I know you're in favor of it. Why?
Have you tested its effects on yourself?
,
Brad in Portland
Cookies • Cinnamon Rolls
• Muffins • Espresso •
Pizza by the Slice
Dear Nosey,
Christina Stanley RN, IBCLC
Lactation Consultant
Breast Feeding Assistance
Cheri Lerma
Does Uncle Mike think 'they' are going to legalize marijuana? No, that would involve
a loss of face They're just going to make it available to anyone who can demonstrate
signs of stress. Yes, Uncle Mike is in favor of this. As a human, Uncle Mike thinks he
should be able to eat, drink, snort, or smoke anything that grows in the garden. He also
believes he is the sole caretaker of his body. Has Uncle Mike tested the effects of
marijuana on himself? Yes, many times It's what makes him drive cars into trees and
rob 7-Elevens.
239 N. Hemlock
P.O. Box 825
Cannon Beach, OR 97110
(503)436-1129
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179 Coolidge
C annon Beach, OR 97110
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Dear Uncle Mike,
Why do people sniff wine corks?
Valoree Gift,
North Coast
Dream Circles
Unenlightened in Astoria
I
Dear Unenlightened,
Because Uncle Mike knows no one who does, he’s unable to say. He does know
people who look to see if the cork is damp. Uncle Mike can't remember if it’s supposed
to be or not Even now, he doesn't care. He drinks sour mash whiskey and so, doesn't
have to.
Dear Uncle Mike,
Is there proper bathroom etiquette when people spend the night? When you're
ready for bed, should you offer your guests first use, or leave the bathroom for them
after you've retired? I know it's not an earthshaking issue but I was just curious.
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Dear Mariah,
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Uncle Mike whimpers at the thought of anyone imagining an issue exists. People
he knows well enough to let them sleep in his home go to the bathroom when they need
to and go to bed when they're tired If your guests start yawning (something Uncle Mike
would bet happens a lot) and you're sitting on their hide-a-bed, by all means go brush
your teeth and give it a rest
" I t ’s like journeying to another w o rld ."
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Dear Uncle Mike,
Becky Ryan Hart l . m . p .
A long time ago, you mentioned three rules for living on the planet I forgot what
they were Sorry
By appointment 360-665-4306
Gift certificates available.
Visa and Mastercard accepted.
On the Long Beach peninsula.
Melissa A ,
Dear Melissa,
Supporting “Upper-Left-Edginess" in all its forms
It's okay, not to worry, don't let it happen again. The rules you refer to are Reverend
Billy's Three Rules for Peace in the Universe: 1) Nobody hits, 2) Everybody eats, 3)
There is no third rule
To this, Uncle Mike would add a corollary: we get to love whoever we want.
There are also, just in case, Reverend Billy's Three Rules for Surviving on the
Planet Never play poker with anyone named Doc, never eat at a place called 'Mom’s',
never sleep with anyone crazier than you are
C astle
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