Dearest Mikey,
It is now 9:30 am on my day off and I've been drinking
coffee in bed for three horns with four cookbooks, two
spiritual guidebooks, several utility bills, a pack ol 100‘r
additive free cigarettes, an emaciated checkbook, three postage
stamps and a coupon lor 25 cents oil Baker's chocolate to keep
me company In celebration of your birth, l've chosen to use
one of the stamps to send you this letter. I SW est I k damned
l or openers, please know that 1 truly forgive you lor the lime
y ou shoved me out the second story bedroom w indow and 1
landed on the rotting apples and rolled under the Weeping
Willow tree which was later uprooted in the Columbus Day
Storm of 1962 le t bygones be bygones, 1 say.
I've spent the entire summer indoors pressing Grandma
IXxlo's secret pie dough recipe between sheets ol wax paper and
filling the pastry w ith the same fresh w ild blackberries ol our
childhood. The familiar fragrance always conjures memories
of BB gun lights in Old Lady lunatake s orchard and the dirt
clod which gave Tint» hemophiliac Lynn 1 lyberg a bloody
nose Was it you or brother Bill who pitched that one ’ Or,
perhaps, it was the McArden boy who Father alway s referred to
as, "that mouth breather" No matter, those were endlessly
carefree days.
.
Each morning alter I've taken the plump golden pies trom
the oven, I bleach the butcher block and change from the crisp
white cotton bilker's apron into the green vinyl lull body suit 1
wear as a lowly "pearl diver" However many quaint tn-footed
pewter clam chowder kettles 1 must scrub, 1 find time to day
dream of your y outhful freckled face and w ild red hair, missing
the butter-drenched crawdaddy tails and dandelion green lunches
we prepared over the forbidden campfire in the shelter ol that
tall dry field grass
l^ast week, Manuel, the fry-cook who hasn't gone home to
Mexico for three years, announced that he is going home when
we close in December and he isn't returning. I will I k
promoted to fry-cook baker from dishwasher baker and will be
getting an exceptional raise to an entire (hold me up, lee
faint) $7 00 an hour! What shall I do with my new -found
wealth? Buy a house? Take a cruise? Purchase stock in a race
car? Get new odor-eaters for my Payless Drugstore tennis
shoes'’ Buy a 24-roll pack of bathroom tissue? I don't
know the mere thought of possibilities makes me queasy
with anticipation.
Did you observe the lunar eclipse Friday night 1 he
Dnftinn Restaurant certainly experiences tire crimson-hued
lunacy firsthand. A gentleman at table 5 whose party had been
seated pnor to table 7. but who had not been served their food
before table 7, began to grouse loudly about the slow sen ice.
Whereupon table 7's Alpha male asked table 5's Alpha male
to "Please keep your complaints down, we're try ing to eat
over here " Defending lus First Amendment rights, table > s
hero promptly ran over and pushed table 7's spokesman lrom
lus chair and a veritable pancratium ensued Meanwihtle in the
cocktail lounge, a neophyte sot at table F lobbed a go I ball to
jovial acquaintances at table A. The barroom athletic hopeful
at F, however, met with unexpected reverses in calculating lus
arc thereby causing the errant sphere to bonk a patron at table
B upon the' noggin The bonked at B threatened to sue the
bartender who had been busy serving seven tables and nine
barstools of impatient imbibers, so she'd been unaware o the
foregone incident. Somehow , her sober reasoning prev ailed
As calm was being restored in the bar, the poor tyke at l“ble
back in the dining room who had apparently had Rocky Road
ice cream for breakfast and cannel com for lunch (as is lus
wont while vacationing at the shore), hurled lus earlier meals
upon Iris evening meal.
„r
Happily, I was at home partaking ot adehghtlul gilt ol
homemade chantrelle mushroom marinara atop semolina
mostaccioli with my dearest friend Evelyn while all such
excitement took place Unhappily, my dear Evelyn was up
vomiting at midnight Had I the wise foresight to join her in
the same activity, it would have prevented the gross discomfort
of diarrhea and abdonunal cramps which progressed unimpeded,
overtaking me until nearly noon the next mom W luch
happened to be tire wedding day of our much-loved waitress,
Sadie (her one and only wedding day al that, something wluch
can't be said for sev eral other food service personnel who shall
remain nameless at this time). So. short-crewed to beat the
band, the few remaining staff heroically prepped, cooked,
served, cleared and cleaned a record number ol tasty dishes lor
the eager little mouths of strangers, mouths oblivious to the
strenuous circumstances ol their servants.
In closing, my darling Bubby, I wish you a very happy
birthday and another year of continuous prosperity in the
manufacturing sector of the City of Angels. 1 express my
deepest gratitude for the many times you hav e generously
offered to share your financial success with this ne’er do well
sibling in the form of setting her up in her very own coastal
cafe; I regret to inform you that I am hav ing second thoughts
for fear of than dream being a bit too lofty. If you wouldn t
mind terribly, perhaps a small loan of fifty bucks so that I
might get my phone service restored would be a happy
compromise? Humbly, with hugs and kisses, I remain your
devoted sister
geraldine
THE
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Cannon Beach
In Coaster Theater Courtyard
Established 1977
Featuring Northwest, California
& Imported Wines
Collector Wines From 1875
Through Current Vintages
Featuring Over 1000 Wines
Wine Racks. Glasses &
Wine Related Items
★ ★ ★
Northwest Best Places
Award at Bieellaaee
The Wine Spectator
W in e T a stin g
Spirits
a Mot Sandwiches
a Home Baked Desserts
Fresh Seafood Dinners
Live M usic Every S a tu rd a y H ig h t
Every Saturday Afternoon
1 5 PM
12*7 S H e « l/e k
C . a . ' & a ï r O * » H I*
Casual D in in g
O v e rlo o k in g the H estucca R iver
(5 0 3 )9 6 5 -6 7 2 2
pacific city , oreoom
Different Wines
From Around The World
Each Week
(S*J)41*-1I7*
Open 11 AM 5 PM
Closed Tues.
1235 S. HEMLOCK
Cannon Beach
L a u r e l’s
C annon
B each
7A M — 2PM
Breakfast A Lunch
Closed Mon. A Tues.
W in e S h o p
263 N. Hemlock
(S03) 436-1666
fi
JIM WEATHERS
Cookies • Cinnamon Rolls
• Muffins • Espresso •
Pizza by the Slice
S
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Cheri Lerm a
239 N. Hemlock
P.O. Box 825
Cannon Beach, OR 97110
(503)436-1129
* 8 » 559<4
4 3 6 *1 8 8 5
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would like to invite you to try our fresh
and delicious scones, muffins and desserts.
We Proudly brew
0 Dxy
‘TijstcW, pcCcÇtS
Ink
Ht-vt oi 7« ¿i«
’
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Consistently serving the very ix\st coffee drinks
anywhere on the North Coast. Join us for
great coffee, ixistries and music in a friendly
atm< )S| there.
<9
3301 S.
OP 41110
(S03)Q36-1203
.
J
mm
H III i d
conveniently lot «iteti in Midtown
1 in y stn t k S quare
1235 S. 1 lettilo« k
C an n o n Beach. OK 97110
o jx -n daily 7:30-3:3« »through slim m er
Clock Doc
N o r th w e s t B est P la c e s
Pendulum & Striking Clocks
Safes
C liff S o w ie
“This amendment points out our true
enemy; SATAN" (Measure 26 -pro),
AWI No 26033
NAWCCNo 0120664
(503) 738-8108
S e a sid e , O regon
O ne B lock F rom T u rn a ro u n d
g
UP TER. LETT EDGE MOVErt&tR.
(503) 436-9515
Always Call first
Housecalls
Packing & Shipping
Service on Grandfathers
Set-up, Adjustm ent & Repairs
POB 974
Cannon Beach, OR 9 7 1 ,0