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“I Seem To Be A Verb.”
Yes, Bucky, we apparently are verbs. Uncle Mike
says the Chinese don’t have nouns. A verb indicates
action, a noun is a person, place, or thing. We are
reminded of this as we take this action of printing
this issue, even though we do so at the peril of our
very being. We are the movement in the medium that
is the message this May. The editorial ‘we’ seems to
help remind us we are part of something larger, and
that that larger thing is a process, not a thing. Many
folks seem to think they are nouns, they are some­
thing. They are loggers, lawyers, butchers, bakers,
candlestick craftspersons. They get into thinking
that is what they are and always will be. Always is
as Uncle Mike says, and interesting word.
To demonstrate the fallacy of this thinking, we
submit Cheri Lerma. Locals know her as the
attractive woman w ho runs the Cookie Co. and who is
alway s helping out various stray s, be they pups or
people. She has always been athletic, she fishes and
climbed Mt. Hood, as photos on the Cookie Co.
bulletin board attest. But we were recently
somew hat surprised when she informed us with an
almost embarrassed smile that she had won the State
Women’s Power Lifting title in her age and weight
group, and that she has been invited to participate
in the Nationals. She’s going to the “The Show”, as
they say in baseball. This woman is a verb!
Kelly Jurgensen, a local writer who is currently
having a great time reading children’s stories
submitted for her projected publication, (see ad
below.) also “got the call”, in her case from the Iowa
Writers Workshop, arguably the best writers school
in the country. Does this make her “verbal?”
We humbly suggest that you, our friends and
readers, remember the advice given by the
phsyciatrist on M*A*S*H, the TV show. He said,
“Gentlemen take my advice, drop your pants, and
slide on the ice.”
Buckminster Fuller
Those who were out of town when the sonic
boom tsunami failed to reduce Aspen by the Sea to
flotsam would have been proud at the calmness
displayed by natives and tourists alike as they
raced to the high ground to watch.
In a moment that would have tried lesser
souls, the men and women of Cannon Beach didn't
buckle. They only drank their coffee, watched the
surf, and waited for the hand of God and the
special effects of Cecil B. De Mille. When destiny
failed to deliver, they just shrugged, gathered up
the dogs and went back to their assigned stations,
either making lattes or drinking them
Which isn't to say the day passed without
tragedy. Even with helicopter support, the
broadcast news team from Portland failed to reach
the scene of near tragedy in time to witness what
didn't happen. And worse, no merchant had the
foresight to silk screen the t-shirts
Home to Roost: In loosely related news, near
panic was recently averted by the quick thinking of
Mark Knauss. For those out of the loop. Mr.
Knauss is the never even close to daunted night
desk super at the Tolovana Inn He was at his post
early one morning when the phone rang, badly
waking him. A female guest, on the verge of
hyperventilating, informed him there was a seagull
on her balcony and it refused to leave Several
seasons in the trenches of adult day care had
prepared Mr. Knauss for this moment. He
encouraged the woman to remain calm and
assured her that, if the seagull had not left in an
hour, he would personally call the police.
Which would, of course, bring a news crew
from Portland whose helicopter would frighten the
beast away
Now on to politics. Welcome to the primary
season. Like primary school it tends toward pre­
adolescent behavior. Cooley and Bunn and the whole
right wing of the Republican Party in Oregon and the
nation seem to be turning into a situation comedy
before our giggling eyes.
And of course the Gordon Mabon, Lon Smith, story
reminds us of the moneychangers in the temple, two
hustlers in the arena. Oh, did you know there is
another candidate on the Republican Primary ballot?
Jeff Lewis. Yeah, he’s a software guy, lives in
Eugene, 54, ran for the legislature a few years back
but had to drop out to get a heart transplant, lie’s
healthy as a horse now and taking on the money and
the messiah. What’s his platform? He’s for a
woman’s right to chose, for the right reason: the
government has no business in your womb. He
believes the same about your bedroom and your
wallet. And he also believes the resources belong to
the people and should be used for the benefit of the
people, not just those who camp or log, but those who
fish and breath, and drink the water. Readers will
notice a 1/4 page ad for Jeff Lewis in this issue. We
offered to run it free so our Republican and
Democratic friends would know there was someone to
vote for. And to send a message to the right wing
that folks are sick of their dog-and-pony show, and
would like to get on with business. It says more
about Mr. Lewis than it does about us that he
insisted on paying full price for the ad. So, folks,
you don’t get many opportunities to thumb your nose
at millionaires and demagogues; it used to be an
American’s best thing. Jeff Lewis: it’s an easy name
to remember. Democrats are welcome to vote in the
Republican primary, so let’s all do it. He is that
rarest of candidates, the reluctant one, who sees no
other way to change his party and his country for
the better, than to get involved himself. He has our
endorsement and our vote.
In the City of Roses by the River we have had our
attention brought to a Mr. Kent Sny der, a Democrat
running for State Legislature in the bth District,
downtown to Sellwood, or so. He’s another rookie and
has been endorsed from the Republican side of the
aisle in Salem. Not bad for a card-carrying
environmentalist.
These guys, one a Republican into computers and
civil rights, the other a Democratic bankruptcy
lawyer try ing to save small parts of the planet, are
both doing what the constitution not only guarantees
but demands of its citizens, they are taking
responsibility for them and theirs. We applaud
them. We have found that the average honest citizen
is better at governing on the behalf of average honest
citizens, than millionaires, messiahs, and
scoundrels.
Don’t forget democracy is a verb.
Home Not to Roost: No truth to rumors the
Cannon Beach Conference Center plans to donate
the newest wing of its destination religious resort—
the neomonastic inn sprawled, hands outstretched,
in the high rent district at the northern foot of
Spruce—for low income housing Contrary to
reports, the need for tax shelter never entered
discussions. Just as well No reason those who
work here can't live somewhere they can afford
Thinner Blue Lines: In a sincere attempt to halt, or
at least slow, the mutterings about the Cannon
Beach Police Department (New Cars 'R Us), we
offer this news from Dundee
Oregon State Police have decided not to file
criminal charges against, David Strand, head of
Dundee's police and fire departments, after
investigating allegations that he and John Stock,
police detective and assistant fire chief, furnished
alcohol to a minor, drove police and fire vehicles
while drunk, and answered police, fire, or medical
emergency calls in states that would have got them
cut off at Bill's
This was no shallow victory for Chief Strand
who's career in public service has weathered
allegations of swimming nude in the presence of a
minor, 'mooning' city employees, letting a house
burn down by failing to call the fire department, and
being a public drunk in uniform
Perhaps now we can forgive and forget
Yes, our town constables did roust Mayor Kirk
Anderson while he was walking home last summer.
And why not? How were they supposed to know
who he was? Remember, not only was the man
walking, he was also carrying grocenes. During
high season, this qualifies as suspicious behavior.
Had he been somewhere ordenng dinner, or
holding the reins of a matching set of afghans, he'd
never have been questioned The second car was
just in case he was the Unabomber
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BASEBALL
As the Cubbies muddle through May,
you might want to remember that this
year there will be 162 games, and the
Cubs keep fighting back to the top of
the division. And though few but Die-
Hard Cubs Fans take them seriously,
this could be the year. This could also
be the year that Boston beats the
Yankees.
So who would you bet the farm on?
Go Cubs!!!'.!
Cookies • Cinnamon Rolls
• Muffins • Espresso •
Pizza by the Slice
Cheri Lerma
239 N. Hemlock
P.O. Box 825
Cannon Beach. OR 97110
(503)436-1129
Story Contest: Talking Story With Coastal Kids, a new publication, is
announcing its first fiction contest, open to anyone writing lor children Subject
matter open. Target age 12 and up. Stones judged on merit, story appeal
Stories must be original and unpublished Length 20(X) words or less
Postmark on or before May 31st, 1996 Cash prizes $200, $ 100, $50, and $20
(2 HMs) and publication in Talking Stones \\ llh Coastal Kids, beginning with
the first edition. Stories must include $10 reading lee. \\ nlers may send more
than one story. Send check or M.O. only, made out to Kelly Jurgensen 1S K)
Box 723. Cannon Beach, OR 97110
When you educate a man, you educate an individual;
when you educate a woman, you educate a whole family.
Dr. Charles McIver
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