Dear Uncle Mike, As one man to another, do you ever think a significant par, o f premenstrual syndrome is self- indulgence? Are women as out of control as they'd like us to believe, or they just taking their suffering ou, on us? Should they be indulged9 A, wha, cos,9 Victimized in Portland Dear Victimized, Because Uncle Mike doesn't believe in death and so doesn't fear it, he'll resist the urge to pretend your letter never reached him. As one man to another. Uncle Mike would suggest you stop asking questions like this. Premenstrual women can detect innuendo at great distance. Does Uncle Mike think PMS is partly self-indulgent? No. Uncle Mike thinks it's altogether self-indulgent. It's from this its great horror springs. The lunar chemical imbalance women go through, many would say entirely too often, evidently makes the world, and every unsatisfactory and irritating bit of it, a personal matter. The way you daub your mouth with a napkin can be, for she who yells, a snide reference to imaginary weigh, gain. The formulas of body chemistry are no laughing matter, and this one seems to prevent so much as a thought of self-restraint. The blurting out of lunatic venom and accusation can be, from safe distance, a sight to behold. You ask if our ladies of the moon are as out of control as they’d like us to believe. Man to man. Uncle Mike dares you to find out. He only hopes they're as ou, o f control as they'll get. As it is, he’s seen them do things that curled his hair and made him sleep lightly. Are they taking their suffering ou, on us? Is this a serious question? Uncle Mike has seen the chemically unbalanced take it out on furniture, small animals, and trees Any portion o f the world will do, but the universal law governing the chaos of their emotions seems to dictate that, the closer they feel to you, the more efficient the abuse gets. Should we indulge them? If you've go, a better idea, Uncle Mike is all ears. Until then, he'll go on indulging them whenever it’s no, possible to avoid their company. He avoids them with great zeal and sees this as giving them their space. Uncle Mike read a story once aboui a primitive tribe whose women would, in response to mysterious inner signals, walk a short distance from the village and build a small getaway hut. Uncle Mike sees this as genius, and wonders that any culture but theirs has survived. r Sometimes A Great Lotion E l it a B rand C otton B ras .r and P ant « Cannon Beach Athletic Club LlNGtRIE AND SLttl'VtAR V lT H AN tMPHA5l5 ON COTTON A N ) 5 0 27 SCI NTS Of PIR1UM OIL AND CUSTOM SCtNTlD MASSAGE OR., BODY LOTION, AND BATH & SHOVER O IL 171 Sunset Blvd. iNCtNSt A f® CANIM.tS Dear Uncle Mike, 4 36- 01& 9J 39 N. HtNLOCR C annon B ia c h OR Let CBAC be your Athletic Club away from home. Come visit our exiting new facility. Why are potatoes called 'spuds'? CBAC Offers: Robert D., Molalla Dear Robert, Christina Stanley RN, IBCLC L a cta tio n C o n su ltan t Before he begins, Uncle Mike would like to thank you for your question. Other people ask Uncle Mike advice on personal matters the details of which he'd rather no, know You ask about potatoes. Uncle Mike likes you. Potatoes are called spuds not because they were invented by someone with a silly sounding name, but because of a confusion. A spud is a tool, a tree branch cleverly carved by hungry rustics. It has a long handle and a foot piece which, when pressed down by the foot, makes a six inch deep hole in the dirt. The potato is, of course, what you put in the hole. It's a funny world. l