Also in this issue, we will be teasing you with an
excerpt from "The REAL Guide to the Oregon C o ast' by
Michael Burgess (we call it "I ncle Mike's Guide to the
Upper Left Edge"), w hich will be available, hopefully this
summer, in bookstores near you, or by mail through this
paper.
tìev.
Hult»
Editorial
The Oregon Coast Today
Now & Then
Well, lliis issue begins our filth year ot publication,
and we are as amazed as anyone. We would like to thank
each of our readers, subscribers, advertisers, and triends
who made this possible You make us proud and humble
with your faith in our limited abilities You will be
mentioned at vespers, except Wednesday s.
We usually print the covers of the last twelve issues on
the front page of our April number each y ear, but we felt
the release of Terence O'Donnell's history of Cannon
Beach deserved the front page this tune You will lind the
covers of our last year's issues distributed thoughout the
paper
Another internal matter: We will not be
ac c e p tin g y early su b scrip tio n s a fte r this
m o n th , so as to give ourselves the options ot continuing
on past our promised five years, or not. Now, stop that
whining, it is very probable that Hie Edge will keep on
keeping on well into the next century , assuming we get
some help with publishing, advertising sales, billing,
distribution and all those other business type things that
are driving the beloved Reverend to an early grave, not to
mention the constant threat of bankruptcy.
We will be doing something soon that we have always
feared; we will be starting a non-profit corporation. Yes,
w e know that is popular liberal response to tax reform.
And yes, we are much too silly to be trusted with large
bundles of w hat Baby Gramps calls the currency, "frog
skins." But we seem to have won the revolution alter all.
It appears that the ideals that we and in fact most
generations professed in youth have somehow survived in
some Sixties folks In spite of the fact that they have
slaved in corporate America, fought for the freedom tliat
financial security gives, they still believe in doing those
things we all said we'd do if we ever "won the lottery "
So this is to announce the Upper Left Edge Foundation
for the Arts, or something, perhaps a name to be named
later Now, we know that giving money to artists is
always a dangerous thing, but to punish them for the gifts
they offer is a tragic thing Every one says they support
the arts, but mostly they mean they consume the arts.
They buy art, books, go to the theatre and attend concerts.
But to support the arts you have to share the real risk of
art. After all, artists risk their lives. Be at the planting as
well as the harvest. Write us at good old Box 1222
Cannon Beach, OR 97110, and we'll tell you more and
show you our bona lides.
And now the news. If elected. Bob Dole promises to
complete a declarative sentence before his death or
inauguration, whichever comes first. Dole has wrapped
up the Republican nomination. The first out, the last
standing.
No, Pat doesn't count -- he isn't standing, lie's
crouching and snarling.
On the incumbent side, Slick Willy is facing Ralph
Nader, in California, whose motto should be; "It's the
Environment, Stupid!" We have little doubt of the
outcome in either the primaries or the general election
We recently finished lYimarv Colors, by Anony mous, and
would recommend it to political junkies. We believe if
Mr. Clinton is to prevail he would be wise to parrot the
words of Ins parodied self, "...who can do this better than
me? You think there's anyone out there who'll do more
for the people than I will? Think about the other
wonderful possibilities. . . Is there any one else out there
with a chance to actually win this election who'd even
think about the folks I care about?" The right is
collapsing and the middle is holding, the Republic is sale
The polls tell us 75% of Americans consider themselves
pro-environment and pro-choice, and tliat 75% of
businesses in America are small businesses. Any
questions? Only, do you vote?
One last point, we have recently heard that Leonard
Peltier's parole was denied, and the parole officer who
recommended it w as fired Please, in a spirit of healing,
call the White House comment line at (202) 456-1 111,
and ask for executive clemency now! And to our friends
who get the Edge at the Hotel Tabard Inn in Washington
D C., give Hillary a copy the next time you see her
It's all well and good, believing there are no bad
people Faith in humanity is a virtue Naivete is
another matter Confuse the two on the Oregon
Coast and things turn ugly fast
. OICK „
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on W illa p a Bay
Nah« o lla , W a s h in g to n 9 8 6 3 7
Foi RpM’ivations or Infom ialion
(360) 665 4543 - Fax (360) 665-6887
Your best intentions won’t matter a jot These
are people too miserable to care It's senseless
suggesting to someone in a ragged tarp and
patched rubber boots to have a nice day Your
villagers may be slow but they're not stupid
They know all too well what sort o f day they're
going to have, just as surely as they know what
the rest o f life has in store for them
These are humans who, from the cradle to the
grave, never really get warm and dry It's
nonsense to think their inner child is somehow
nourished by the endless gloom and damp Just
as you would if you lived here, they hate their
lives and being cheery is just not in them Your
smiles and laughter will only grate on their
nerves, reminding them that, unlike themselves,
you'll soon be going back to a world with
sunlight, dry bedding, and meals not involving
underwater mollusks and kelp
E
Keep O n Keepin O n
x a c s o r. œ k
Siile
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A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.
Arthur Baer
J IM ~ W E A ? NEBS* '
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TIPPER-LEFT-EDGI
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N U M B tn
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If the people lead,
the leaders will follow.
humpentirkcr
The man who reads nothing at all is better
educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
Thomas Jefferson, 1743-1826
EHGLC
CALLFOn
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2420
No Matter Where You Go.
__There You Are
L ib e rté . Egalité. Fraternité
All I know is what I read in the papers.
Will Rogers, 1879-1935
Editor/Publisher/Janitor: The Beloved Reverend
Billy Lloyd Hults
A ssista n t E d itor/P u b lish er/G rap h ics
Editor The Humble Ms. Sally Louise Lackaff
Copy Editor/Science Editor/Voice of
Reason/Indian C ountry/Uncle M ike/etc.:
Michael Burgess
W ildlife Informant/Music Reporter at Large:
Peter "Spud" Siegel
Education Editor Peter Lindsey
Improvisational Engineer: Dr. Karkeys
Wine Expert: Jim Anderson
Political Consultant Kathleen Krushas
Environmental News: Kim Bossé
Movies, Food, and Music: Rob Milliron
Mr. Baseball: Jeff Larson
Local Colour: Ron Logan
June's Garden: June Kroft
Ad Sales: Katherine Mace
Major Distribution: Ambling Bear Distribution
OREGON COAST
SUPPORT CROUP
I
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Life is what happens when
you're busy making other plans.
|>- u p p e r - left - edo M
Anybody can make history; only a great man can write it.
Oscar Wilde, 1856-1900
jsssk
Righteous Persistence
Ünngs Reward
AUtiUST OT5
History records the names of Royal bastards,
but cannot tell us the origin of wheat.
Jean Henri Fabre, 1823-1915
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¡ITO- LETT f
l—UPPER-LEFT-EDG
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s
If you must venture out among them, keep your
money in your boot and your children and pets in
sight Don't lunch in quaint inns that lack a back
door Avoid eye contact with anyone not
obviously from out o f town and tell no jokes
whose punch line involves eating blubber, luring
ships onto reefs, or hiding from the law If you
hire a guide, under no circumstance let it lure you
onto the beach
If you think education is expensive,
try paying for ignorance ' BumPerS,Kte
|-|;PPEF.L£TT
To the water-logged little gnomes peering at you
from under their rain hoods, you're a visitor from
another world A world o f sunlight, laughter, and
dry clothes whose existence they bitterly resent
Nothing you do, short o f throwing your life away
and joining them, will change things To those
who unwillingly winter where you summer,
you're either someone who buys driftwood
jewelry or can be sold to a crab boat captain with
a drinking problem
“H o m e o f th e W ild O y s t e r “
It's called political economy because it has
nothing to do with either politics or economy.
Stephen Leacock, 1869-1944
P. L£f~
Don't mistake your hosts for the happy natives ot
National Geographic specials There will be no
leis and hugs on your arrival, no serenading in the
moonlight You'll be lucky if they don't come for
you with torches and clam shovels Throw aside
your warm, fuzzy notions about the family of
man These aren't people you should get to
know Or, for that matter, turn your back on
A N TH O N Y ST O F T IE L L O
= = = = = = = = = = = Architect
Earth friendly architecture
Consultant - Educator ■
Passive solar design
Conscientious material use
Licensed in Oregon and Washington
J
3 10 Lake S t • TOB 72, Ilwaco, WA 9 6 6 2 4 ( 2 0 6 ) 6 4 2 - 4 2 5 6
UfPtR LETT Lb Gt (tfMl i i t i
1
The Upper Left Edge is a monthly Broadsheet
(approximately 12"x 21") publication with a
current distribution of 5,000. It is circulated
throughout the Oregon and Washington
coastal communities and many larger
metropolitan areas. As stated in the upper
left comer of the Edge flag, it is Free to the
vast majority of its readership; though there
is a rapidly increasing number of subscribers
worldwide. Now in its third year of continual
growth, The Upper Left Edge relies on
advertising funds to keep it in print.
Advertising rates are as follows;
$30.
Business Card Size Ad
$35
1/16th approx. 3 x 5
$50.
l/8th approx 4 x 7
l/4th approx. 6 1/2x9 $100.
$150.
1/2 page
$300.
Full page
$400
Back page
per month. Payment is due the 15th of
the month prior to the issue in which the ad
is to appear Camera ready art is requested.
We are usually on the streets by the first
weekend of the month.
Please call (503) 436-2915 for further
information; ask for Billy or Sally.