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Dear Uncle Mike,
,
My six year old daughter is an absolute
gem, but lately she’s become a fussy
eater. After years of giving her whatever she wants to eat, within reason or
course, she now refuses to eat anything she hasn’t seen on television. She s
very determined, especially about broccoli which they’ve found is quite good
for us. What should I do?
Perplexed in Netarts
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Dear Perplexed,
Uncle Mike assumes you’ve ruled out having your daughter adopted by an
intelligent adult.
, , ,._
Give Uncle a freaking break. The ‘very determined’ human you re dealing
with is six years old. You are, if not smarter than she, at least larger and, in
the normal scheme of things, in charge. Point this out often to the little
tyrant. You should also turn off the television set and stop obsessing about
broccoli. When children get hungry, they eat. Even if there’s nothing
around but good food.
OC,
BODY
5H O VH I G IL
INCINSI A M ) CANDLES
N I , . K inloch C annon B each OR
436
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Dear Uncle Mike
Where do you stand on ET? Is there intelligent life in the universe? Are
they friendly? Do they want to ravish our women and eat us?
Bill in Lincoln City
(ttfeanmg
DONALD THOM
PO. BOX 773
CANNON BEACH 0 « 97110
436*1114
D6If by ET you mean lipless, doe-eyed, smooth skinned salamander humanoids
from Betelgeuse, Uncle Mike can only say he’s never seen one. But then
Uncle Mike has never seen a Tasmanian. He saw someone from Los Angeles
once. That was pretty interesting.
You ask if space aliens would be friendly. Uncle Mike would bet it depends.
Everyone has off days and there are bad apples in every bushel. It would be
alienist to generalized but Uncle Mike has a dispirited hunch their feelings for
us would be much like ours for hamsters. It would be foolish to forget that any
visitor from another planet would most likely be a rich tourist or the
representative of some government agency. This is not ^ .^ ^ ^ H n n ^ k n o w s
Would they ravish our womenfolk and turn us into sushi? Lord only kno .
There are, after all, people in Newark who’ve done as much and not lost a
minute’s sleep. But Uncle Mike, ever the optimist, think’s it’s more likely
they’d take snapshots and ask penetrating questions about Rush Limbaugh.
Is there intelligent life in the universe? Do bears make poo in the woods?
Uncle Mike believes the universe is an intelligent lifeform.
In a full heart there is room
for everything, and in an
empty heart there is room
for nothing.
Antonio Porchia
cNmon DeNcri mNssNee
L IC E N S E D M A S S A G E T H E R A P Y
R O S A L IN D C U S A C K , LM T
O R E G O N & W A S H IN G T O N
(Our constant readers will note that this is a reprise of past questions by our beloved Uncle Mike..
He has promised that he will begin on the stack of letter bombs gathering in his mailbox, the
minute they let him out of the home.. . . ed.)
41SSC&*
P O
B O X 1224
C A N IN O N I B E A C H . O R 9 7 1 1 0
( 5 0 3 ) 4 4 3 5 -2 ^ 1 2 5
Cookies • Cinnamon Rolls
• Muffins • Espresso •
Pizza by the Slice
Cheri Lerma
Let us be kinder to one another.
Aldous Huxley’s last words
239 N. Hemlock
P.O. Box 825
Cannon Beach, OR 97110
(503)436-1129
CANNON BEACH LIBRARY
131 North Hemlock
P.O. Box 486
Cannon Beach. OR 9.110
Owned and operated by the Library
and Woman’s Club o f Cannon Beach
How To Write A Poem
foil
(if you have the nerve to forget
while doing it
that it is nothing
anyone will ever care about as much as you
it’s )
Atfen Mfutafa-Tmricfi, M F T
' MA Psychology,
Easy
after you take the elastic
out of the waistband of your underwear
and tie it around your head
to keep the hair out of your eyes
P h D H istory
C ou n selin g: Alcohol, Drug, &
Relationship Problems
After you turn the birds and the radio off
and your eye creeps into your ear
listening to the clouds preening
as they glide up your sleeve
to explode in your mouth
as they glide up your sleeve
to explode in your mouth
First Visit Free
T h u rsd a y s in C a n n o n B each
(503) 2 2 4 -3 9 7 2
As when a hand
sliding up your thigh
into the hole in your brain
where the silence is
and stroking until
When if you are
words whistling the song of the body
and your own metaphor
awake
that’s how
Christina Stanley RN, IBCLC
Lactation Consultant
Breast Feeding Assistance
Medela Breast Pump
Rental Station
P.O. Box 201
179 Coolidge
Cannon Beach, OR 97110
(503)436-0161
John Buckley
i
UPPER. UFT ÊME F5&MAKÍ