You might think that of all the controversial topics in the world, wine would be pretty far down there in the grand scheme of things. However, current events in the world reared their ugly head and dragged French wine into a political issue from which it may have dithculty extracting itself. , , The issue is France’s recent unconscionable test beneath the surface of a Polynesian atoll. In the month ot September the conservative government ol France led by the all-too-Bugs Bunny-cartoon-named (Black) Jacque (. hirac saw fit to conduct the first nuclear test by a country other than renegade China since 1992. Currently the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty is being negotiated by the reigning nuclear powers. Even our President Clinton, who seems to have no stand on any issue, strongly advocates a treaty that bans nuclear tests. This test flies in the face of current world politics, the will of the people of France, general good neighborlyness not to mention stewardship ot the earth. The only reason nuclear weapons arc tested in this era is (OK China does it for political gamesmanship as much as anything) to see if you can stull a nuclear bomb into an eggshell of Leggs pantyhose and still kill every living thing w ithin several hundred miles. There is no more theoretical data to be gathered. We pretty much know how they work. How small can they be made'.’ Can we disguise it as a pencil? What if we name it Fred .’ Can we make one that will, in fact, kill cockroaches? Such are the nature ot questions posed by countries slavvering to test iheir arsenal. Ah, and where does wine lit into all this? Well, people are quite pissed at France. Sure, here in the good old US of A we waggled our finger disapprovingly, stammered a lew, "Tut,tuts" like some oversized Winnie the Pooh, issued a press release through the Office ot the Person the Press Doesn't Talk To, called it a day and ordered $800 million worth of stuff on the Parisian version of the Home Shopping Network. Other countries have pulled diplomats, launched fairly massive protests, rioted in the streets and attacked French consulates in their countries. Take a little peak at a map or a globe. The Polynesian Islands (and a colony of France mind you, just in case you thought imperialism was on the wane) are about as far from France as you can get without leaving the planets surface. Just a geografical point of reference to show you that these displays of anger are entirely well merited. So somebody has to take the heat for this egregious action. As no one is going to be boycotting French movies or cars (since no one buys them to begin with) the logical choice for an economic boycott ot France is, unfortunately, their wine. It is uniquely French, well known and proably carries enough political and economic muscle in the country to put some heat on Mssr. Chirac to at least mutter in public, "Je suis un idiot." In Britain, which imports somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 million gallons ol French wine annually, they are taking this whole thing very seriously (imagine that). An ad has been put together (this is running on TV on the good old BBC) that features a Chirac lookalike sipping on an unmistakeable bottle ot French Bordeaux. As the crosshairs of a powerful rifle scope focus alternately on Chirac’s head, stomach and private parts an announcers voice says "Hit Charac where it really hurts." The crosshairs swing to the bottle of wine and the bottle explodes in a million pieces, splattering the French President with red wine. The boycott is on. Boycotts, by their very nature, tend to focus on an entity external to the situation at hand. Nitpickers have theii moments in the sun with this fact, pointing out that "the little guy ends up getting hurt." Sad but true. The burden of the boycott will rest upon the brawny shoulders ot France's national past time. Can the Leroys, Romanee- Contis, Moutons, Rothchild, get Chirac to admit that this test was unnecessary, an affront to the people of the world, entirely unexcusable and won't happen again Chirac is a stubborn bastard with a conservative streak a kilometre wide. Fortitude will be tested. Personally speaking I will engage in my own private boycott of French wines. I am a huge fan of Burgundies, am attracted a good Bordeaux and enjoy many of the other top varietales (Sauternes, Loire, Chablis, etc.). However, as a decent and principled human being and a former Greenpeace staffer (these folks recently dropped an anti-nuclear testing banner in Tianamen Square) I will be swearing off the purchases of these wines until some retraction comes from Cherac. Write to your Senator (we only have one these days), Congress people and President about how you feel. Encourage the imposing of sanctions, withholding of all Jerry Lewis material and basic nastiness. u A, awT« (K - ü - < t a » - ir * — k • '«""Q f c ) -< ■ * M h j m ' Fresh, orgonically grown produce ond whole foods ... 1qi th g j2 g 2 !iQ ^ L lL » INSTOCK: n a m y k M t W C k M M W I a M . (u c y u s o iw d t o » . i n— MIc Baan. »hsetai'in* r»«w w S»ll«M Laurel’s Cannon Beach Wine Shop 263 N. Hemlock (503) 436-1666 We feature a wide selection of domestic and imported cheeses, cold cuts, and freshly baked breads. Fresh salads and hot or cold entrees daily. —-■'Ttif— Check us out, were worth the drive. 312 Pacific Hwy S. Long Beach, WA Open at 10 AM; Closed Tuesday l-(3 6 0 )-6 4 2 - 2 5 35. Cannon Beach In Coaster Theater Courtyard Established 1977 Featuring Norlhwcsi, California & Imported Wines Collector Wines From 1875 Through Current Vintages Featuring Over 1000 Wines Wine Racks, Glasses & Wine Related Items Wine Tasting Every Saturday Afternoon 1-5 PM QUIET COTTAGES CLOSE TO BEACH N ational O rganization for the R eform of M ariju an a L aws 1001 C onnecticut A venue N W S uite 1010 W ash in g to n , D C 2 0 0 3 6 Different Wines From Around The World Each Week YOUR HOST PATRICK KEALEY HIDDEN VILLA MOTEL (503) 436-2237 188 E. V A N B U R E N P.O. Box 426 CANNON BEACH, OR Open 11 AM-5 PM - Closed Tues. 436-1100 124 N Hemlock P.O. Box 652. Cannon Beach O R 97110 * & X y .Nousx ANTHONY STOPPIELLO ■ = A rchitect Earth friendly architecture Consultant - Educator ■ Passive solar design Conscientious material use Licensed In Oregon and Washington U lft0FE .A U S T B feto £ femxFASJ ,0X 217- 310 Lake S t • PC© 72. Ilwaco. WA 9 6 6 2 4 ( 2 0 6 ) 6 4 2 -4 2 5 6 tAMMOM &LA.C OR. •5 74-10 ? ¿¿A s? THE RENTALS • SALES * TRIPS ♦ CLASSES s ANNIE'S KAYAKS If SO3ZJ68-6O55W 48 7 HWY 1O1 IN WHEELER, OREGON Casual Dining Overlooking the Hestucca River KAYAKING ENHANCES LIVES ART SAVES LIVES Spirits • Mot Sandwiches Fresh Seafood Dinners • Home Baked Desserts Live Music Every Saturday night Recommended Wines for the Month: A more than respectful tip of the hat to our friends in Australia. These people are really ticked at the French and are showing it by demonstrating, rioting (politely), pouring French wine into the streets, cancelling French governmental contracts and telling them to not bother submitting any more for the time being. The Aussies (and their New Zealand neighbors) are, collectively, the worlds largest group of anti-nuclear activists. They live with a huge ozone hole directly above them for large portions of the year and arc trying to get folks like us to relize our actions affect them. They also make some damn fine wine. I have done some exploring recently and I encourage you to put down that Chateaunauf de Pape and toast Australia. Penfolds 1991 C abernet/Shraz Bin 389: Shiraz is the most widely planted Austrailian varietal. It is the same grape as the French Syrah. When combined with the typically big, fruity, tannic Aussie Cab it creates a wonderful blend that is silky smooth, broodingly deep, loaded with spicy berry fruits, leather, sweet oak and coffee flavors. Penfold is one of Austrailia's top producers and many of their wines arc fantastic deals The Kixmunga HilJ series stands out for sub-$IO wines. This one will run about $15-$ 16. It is a fine wine with foods right now but will cellar beautifully for years to come. 10 UPPER LE FT EDLE OCTOBER. 1115 (5 0 3 ) 9 6 5 -6 7 2 2 pacific city , oreoom Penfolds G range Hermitage (1990 an 92 most commonly available currently): One of the more expensive wines you will run into. Usually retails for a $90-$ 100. Consider a purchase an eligant way of boycotting high end French Bordeaux. This wine will cellar, given proper conditions, for 30 or more years. Recent vintages can be drunk now hut you will be passing up the true essence of this w ine by being impatient. Wait and drink it in the futrue on the inevitable day that nucelar testing is banned in theroy and reality. Lindeman 1994 Chardonnay Bin 65: A bit of a cliche here. Many people have beaten me to the punch on this one. Lindcmans is consistanly reveiwed as a top best bargain wine. Their Bin 65 Chard usually retails for about $7. The quality surpasses many ehardonnays twice its price. Minimal oak lets the fruit come through and despite a straight forward simplicity it has good weight and depth. Pack a picnic, get your feet in the sand, enjoy a glass ot wine and some of the last warm sunsets this year has to offer. ★ ★ ★ Northwest Best Places A w a rd al Bxcallanca The Wine Spectator 1117 S .H taU ack P O I . i 4« Caaaaa Stack, O B 9711t (« •3 )4 3 6 -1 1 7 9