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W ttR u n COAST ADDUCTIONS-PO BQXtttt CANNON BtKCH OK T7II0 • 5 0 3 -W rM S
Life is what happens when
you're busy making other plans.
News Flash (too late to lazer)
I see Hults on his bicycle this morning.
"Where's my article?" he barks at me. "It’s time.
Don't forget, the topic is 'tourists' this month."
I wince in revulsion. I'd rather pick up a bowl
of steaming dog feces than handle tourists, and
that's a well-known fact hereabouts. I mumble
some promises and warn him that the piece may
come out twisted and surly. I occupy a position
somewhat left of Cleve "Chief" Rooper in my
disgust with the tourist species — my ire that of
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, jagged on Ibogaine and
lashing out at attorneys and politicians.
I have seen them streaming down the streets of
my little town for forty years, a human wave of
slack-jawed cretins yanking endless strings of
puling offspring and yiping dogs after them.
They stumble into lines ravening for the special
clap-trap and provender associated with the
"coastal" experience in these parts: a pound of
saltwater taffy, a Day-Glo painted starfish, some
exotic beach shells imported from Mexico,
postcards relating "The Legend of the Sand
Dollar," a rare, limited edition art print (#12,976)
of some Indians buried in the bushes, a miniature
sandcastle sculpted eternally with epoxy glue, and
(blush) any reliquary depicting some feature of
the Great Phallic, Haystack Rock.
The "true" pilgrims worship him and require
evidence of this faith. This need is amply filled
by scores of "Pardoners" selling pieces of the True
Cross. Like contemporary T.V. evangelists
hawking the other "Rock", our merchants flog
Haystack Rock and the Needles. How many rich
men can pass up a needle? Haystack T-shirts,
Haystack motels. Haystack bread, Haystack
chocolates, Haystack art prints, Haystack Pizza,
Haystack apple pie - my God, the possibilities
scramble the senses.
In an earlier, saner time, families "summered"
at our beach. They spent several days, a week,
even a month. Each summer the same families
arrived, expected, like the brown pelicans of July
and August. The "daddy trains" brought the
breadwinner to visit his wife and children in
their small summer cabin. Continuity and custom
prevailed.
People engaged in unique beach
activities on the beach itself: bonfires in the
evening, non-commercial castle construction,
clamming and hiking.
Our sheer numbers, demographics, and
television/ad vertising/m erchandising have
irrevocably altered that.
The typical tourist
visitor of the 90's is a "day tripper', perhaps an
overnight guest (scant wonder, with motel rates
in many cases approaching and exceeding $200
per night). Those with the wherewithal and
inclination to dispose of their discretionary
income expect to be coddled and catered to.
Callous, aggressive, and driven, they expect to be
fed and housed and grovelled to in a manner
inconceivable at home.
Being essentially mall creatures of the "Want
me-Buy me" style, they mill around the congested
two blocks of main street like labratory rats in a
biology experiment, chewing, bickering, and
burnishing the faces of their Gold MasterCards.
Blasts from car security alarms override the
soughing of the sea one block away.
I constantly hear children begging their
parents, "Mom, can't we pleeez go to the beach?"
"As soon as we do the shops, dear, if we have
tim e."
I'm reminded of an old male dog, Oliver, who
belonged to the Dueber family. He invariably
showed up in our neighborhood several days after
a dog in heat had passed along. He confused the
smell with the real thing.
The tourist who drives to our village, buys a t-
shirt that says "Cannon Beach," gulps down a
double latte Americano "skinny," and heads home,
never having set foot on the beach, is like Oliver
- he has confused the smell with the real thing.
As the locals in Cannon Beach are aware
Cavenham Tree Farm Co has begun spraying the
sides of the logging roads in our watershed with
2 4- D. Roundup and some other chemicals In
spite of the fact that n cost (by our estimates)
S20S0 (just for the chemicals) to spray a mile of
road and $680 (to rent a brush cutter) to cut a
mile of road over three times more to chemically
deal with brush than it would cost to do the same
job mechanically
So why do they do it? They did it last Monday
and it rained Wednesday, and the poison mix is
probably in the creek by now and they will
have to go back and do it again We are assured
that the City of Cannon Beach is not drawing our
drinking water from Elk Creek at this time We
are also aware that Elk Creek has recently been
designated Critical Habitat for salmon who are
using the water at this time The State
Legislature recently passed a law that would
have forbidden cities from making any laws
concerning pesticides Gov Kitzhaber vetoed
that bill
The City of Cannon Beach has had a policy of
not using pesticides in place for about filleen
years We have spoken to the representatives
from Cavenham and have not received
satisfactory answers to our concerns We are
afraid that the courts may be our only
alternative if an agreement tan t be reached
about spraying in the watershed Slay tuned'
Organically Grown
Salad Greens
Field
Washed
Biodegradable
Bag
Leslie & Peter Sroufe, Cannon Beach, OR
Packaged at: Grant's Landing, Cannon Beach, OR
Net Wt. 8 oz. (266 g.)
______ A vailable
kt
O sbuan ' s G rocers '_____
/here to get an Edge
annon
B each: Jupiter's Rare and
»ed Books, Osburn's Grocery, The Cookie
Coffee Cabaña, Bill's Tavern, Cannon
;ach Book Co., Hane's Bakerie, The
stro, Midtown Café, Once Upon a Breeze,
Cleanline Surf
la n z a n it a : Mother Nature's,
issandra's, & Nehalem Bay Video
ockaw ay:
Sharkey's
illa m o o k : Rainy Day Books
acific City: The River House
c e a n s id e : Ocean Side Espresso
in coln C ity: Trillium Natural Foods,
riftwood Library, & Eats 'n' Stuff
e w p o r t: Oceana Natural Foods, Don
¡trie's Italian Food Co., Café DIVA,
)smo Cafe, Bookmark Cafe, Newport Bay
iffec Co., Cuppatunes, Bay Latté, Ocean
tlse Surf Shop & Canyon Way
u g en e: Book Mark, Caté Navarra,
igene Public Library. Friendly St.
arket, Happy Trails. Keystone Café, Kiva
lods, Lane C.C., Light For Music, New
ontier Market, Nineteenth Street Brew
ib. Oasis Market, Perry's, Red Barn
roccry, Sundance Natural Foods, U of O,
WOW Hall
o r v a llis : Not Necessarily News. & The
rivironmental Center
al cm : Heliotrope, Salem Library, &
tic Peace Store
sto r ia
KMUN, Columbian Café, The
[immunity Store. & Caté Uniontown
e a sid e : Buck's Book Barn, Universal
ideo, & Cafe Espresso
CORRECTED FOR PACIFIC BEACH TIDES
AUGUST - High Tides
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BASEBALL
Coors Field-
Oh, sure, it's like a hundred degrees
farenheit and you're going to play
the All Star game in Texas!!?? Instead
of the cool elevations of Colorado??
You can understand why, in a
moment of impared comprehension,
misunderstood the TV babble. In
Bull Durham' the veteran catcher
tells the rookie, "You have to play
this game with fear and arrogance."
And the rookie says, "Yeah, I know,
and ignorance."
Sorry about that and of
course about the Cubs, who,
like an old Chevy we once
owned, are still stuck in third.
P o r tla n d : Act III. Barnes & Noble,
Belmonts Inn, Bibelot Art Gallery, Bijou
Café, Borders, Bridgeport Brew Pub,
Capt'n Beans (two locations). Center for
the Healing Light, Coffee People (three
locations), Common Grounds Coffee, East
Avenue Tavern, Food Front, Goose Hollow
Inn, Hot Lips Pizza, Java Bay Café, Key
Largo, La Pattisserie, Lewis & Clark
College, Locals Only, Marco's Pizza,
Marylhurst College, Mt. Hood CC, Music
Millenium, Nature's (two locations), NW
Natural Gas, OHSU Medical School, Old
Wives Tales, Ozone Records, Papa Haydn.
PCC (four locations), PSU (two locations),
Reed College, Third Eye, TransCcntral
Library, & YWCA
L ong B each, WA: Pacific Picnics
N a h co tta , WA: Moby Dick Hotel
D u vall, WA: Duvall Books
S ea ttle, WA: Elliot Bay Book Co.,
Honey Bear Bakery. New Orleans
Restaurant, Still Life in Fremont, Allegro
Coffeehouse, The Last Exit Coffee House, &
Bulldog News
The game of life is not so much in
holding a good hand as playing a
poor hand well.
H T Leslie
AUGUST - Low Tides
\* .s|"S, !' AMl OKI < ,
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DATE
CORRECTED FOR PACIFIC BEACH TIDES
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