S lu g g o ,
C o n t.
fro m
Page 6
his Gin Rickey. Eventually, he left us at the bar
for some rest. He had hoped that morning would
bring some relief.
Rising the next day, Sluggo's worst fears were
realized. The rash had spread to a variety of
locations on his body and each movement
caused retching pain. He looked as though he
had spent the night in a rock tumbler. As I lead
him down the garden path to meet the taxi,
crowds would separate and stare, apparently
horrified and rarely sympathetic. The taxi was
waiting and we had already indicated that we
needed to go to the hospital. With one look at
Sluggo the driver began to tell us about a doctor
he knew on the other side of the island. He was
certain that the doctor could help Sluggo.
Sluggo would need to be naked and suspended
by palm ropes above a smoldering pit of coals.
The doctor would then exorcise the badness
from Sluggo's body with Conch shells that were
affixed to long wooden staffs. Sluggo appeared
interested but declined the offer.
Flame trees lined the hospital grounds and tropic
birds sailed overhead. The pleasant
appearances ended there. Upon his return from
inside the building, Sluggo said that the doctors
placed his samples and specimens in the same
refrigerator that housed the hospital staffs
lunches, that they had absolutely no idea what
was wrong with him, and that he was certain
that he would die in this place. "Easy Slug", I
said, "lets take your prescription to the chemist".
Sluggo spent the remainder of his time on
Roratonga in bed and in pain. I would bring food
at each meal and make sure that his breathing
had not stopped. I felt bad for him but could be
of little comfort.
trivialities in light of the prospects of finding
Bombay Gin at the Liquor Barn. Debbi was livid.
While fetching her bonnet from the road, she
was stung by a paper wasp. "You’re going to kill
all of usl", she scolded Bob. "You should be
more careful, you twit!" Bob quickly replied.
Because flights left the island for Hawaii only
once a week, Sluggo had no choice but to count
the days until he could escape from his hell in
paradise. He painstakingly packed his things
two days prior to our scheduled departure. On
departure day, Sluggo did not take well the news
of our flight's 10 hour delay. The Space Shuttle
had jettisoned its fuel tanks in our area and all air
traffic was halted. Being an opportunist, Bob
took advantage of his extension on the island by
visiting a beach bar where, the night before, a
squabble had developed between some German
beer goons and several locals. Sluggo simply
waited, staring at the Northern sky, looking for
the spark of the plane's running lights.
CONTEMPORARY DESIGN
Sluggo later told me that he was simply not
intended for the tropics, but he planned to one
day return to the Cook Islands. He wishes to
return to the slug-laden lagoons and mutilate as
many of them as possible. Occasionally he
unsheathes the special bronze hunting knife that
he intends to take with him on his return. He
believes that the slugs poisoned him and at the
same time pretended to hold him in high regard.
Although his physical recovery took only a
month, his mental anguish obviously continues to
this day.
FU R N ITU R E
DECOR
TAB LES
LAM PS
C H A IR S
VASES
C A N D L E S T IC K S
C LO C K S
Civilization is a method of living, an
attitude of equal respect for all men.
Jane flddams
We have lost track of Bob. If he is alive, he is no
doubt pissing someone off at this very moment.
I would like to think that someday I will find him in
another part of the world, happily clutching a
bottle of gin in one hand, and a briefcase of
sensitive documents in the other.
__
Meanwhile Bob and Debbi had grown to hate
one another. One day they picked me up for a
drive around the island. Bob had rented a small
Suzuki jeep that had a center console that could
hold 12 beers and plenty of ice. Bob was the
perfect, belligerent American tourist, especially
behind the wheel of an automobile. Swerving
around scooters and pigs, we darted in and out
of banana fields, dirt roads and mangroves. I
was nearly catapulted from the back seat when
he executed an abrupt U-turn after passing the
Liquor Barn, a discount warehouse selling beer,
wine and spirits. Debbi's sun hat ejected during
the turn but Bob could not be bothered with such
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