□ e a r Uncle Mike,
How do I en d u re loneliness?
How do 1 deal w ith th a t restless
feeling in m y gut th a t m akes m e
face th e reality th a t I'm not
enjoying m y life? I scare m yself
co n tem plating th e solutions to
^ F v e 'a iw a y s thought th a t w ith friends, you can g et through p re tty m uch
an y th in g T here is one person w ho really ca re s about m e, and I grew up
w ith him . H e's aw ay a t college. I love him m ore th a n anything. I m
h ap p y w h en I'm w ith him.
.
9
So m y question is this: How am I to overcom e this painful isolation.
Believe me, I’ve tried . Is life even w o rth it w ith o u t friends? I m
defin itely looking fo rw ard to college.
Lynn in Seaside
^ i T l i f ^ w o r t h living w ith o u t friends? Probably not. F ortu n ately you
have one T hat y o u 're se p a ra te d from him m akes you, for th e m om ent,
alone Alone is a n eu tral state. Being lonely is y o u r decision, an d it's a
H O PE L. HARRIS
L IC E N S E D
M ASSAG E
T H E R A P IS T
I CLATSOP COUNTY WOMEN S CRISIS SERVICE
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ShHUow » “overcom e th e pain of isolation? The only thing th a t alters
in e rtia a polite te rm for th e d ead w eight y o u r life seem s to h av e becom e
is change in m otion. G et o u t of th e house, w om an, and into w h o e v e r you
are. W h a te v e r you enjoy doing, do it, often and com pletely. Uncle 1 e
doubts you have only one friend. Seek o u t th e com pany of o th ers. Silly
asH t sounds you should have a little fun. Tried all this, h av e w e? Good,
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n a peoolee w ill tell you loneliness is p a r t of life. T hey'll b e n itw its o r liars.
Loneliness is not th e inevitable, or even th e n atu ra l, re s u lt of being alone.
It's an in a p p ro p riate response. The hollow ness you feel com es from
deciding n o t to a c c e p t w h a t is.
No, Uncle Mke is n o t denying th a t the sta te of S iam ese tw in sh ip love
triggers in all of us: th a t joining a t th e h e a rt and th e g u t w h ich , w h en
s e a r e d m akes tw o com plete hum an beings feel h alf of w ho th e y w ere.
He has, Lord know s, been th e re . B ut m issing som eone 1S ° ne thing,
f
obsessing on the void they le ft is another. L oneliness is th e m istaking of
w a n t for need, th e illusion of th e half em p ty cup, th e idiot notion th a t
th e tides of th e u n iv erse h av e gone o u t and w ill n e v e r re tu rn .
Being all b u t hum an, Uncle Mike is no stra n g e r to this so rt of gloomy
n itw itte ry and does n o t for a m o m en t u n d e re stim a te its ability to
naralvze w ill pow er, good ch eer, and th e ability to reason. Yes, he has
w allow ed a tim e o r tw o. H ere's w h a t he finally realized. Lovers have a
delightful knack for living inside each o ther. No m a tte r w h e re you are,
th e re th ey are. People have been know n to w rite poem s about this. So
tryU ncl?M ike is glad y o u 're looking fo rw a rd to college. Aside from b ru ta l
ex p erien ce, education is th e sh o rte s t p ath to u nderstanding.
C A SC A DE
A ID S
PR O JE C T \
^ ^ h a v e a large aquarium and am thinking of adding an octopus, Am I
being foolish?
IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE
5TEA* MTH.. YOU M IG H T
WANT TO FOLLOW THESE.
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M A X IM U M enjoyment
YO u RSÍLF wëmty
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TOU AMY WANT TO
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DeNo,Ay o u 're being a lunatic. Listen v e ry carefully, A rt. R egardless how
large y o u r aquarium Is, It Isn 't large enough. Octopi m ay be l u n d e rw a te r
m ollusks, b u t th e y 're n o t stupid. Squished u n d e r its rock, its disgusting
te n ta c le s cu rled coyly u n d e r its im possibly ugly face, y o u r octopus:w H l
only seem to be w hiling aw ay th e hours. It will, in fact, be brooding,
d ream in g m u rd ero u s dream s, and w aiting for th e m o m e n t y °u forget to
w ra p y o u r aquarium w ith co n certin a w ire. As y o u r slim y nightm are o
p e t drags you, shrieking and thrashing, into its lair, you 11 w ish you d
stu c k to goldfish.
Den iv e n ?ne a^small tow n. L ast w eek, a frien d told m e sh e 'd been hearing
ru m o rs. W ith o u t getting into them , th e y 're to tally u n fo u n d ed and
com p letely o u t of c h a ra c te r for me. I h a v e n 't lived h e re long enough for
e v e ry o n e to know b etter. Should I c o n fro n t th e situation o r ignore it.
y
In nocent in A storia
° U ncle Mike w ould suggest both. Unless those spread in g th e ru m o r are
m uch larg er th a n you or are know n to c a rry w eapons, w a it for a public
X o r t u X to s e /th e m straight. W ithin e a rsh o t of a t le ast tw o o th e r
people, tell th em th e ir m outh seem s m uch bigger than th e ir brain, and
th a t aside from having the ethics of w easel, th e y 're full of c ra p and
y o u 'd a p p re c ia te it if th e y 'd dum m y up. Uncle Mike assum es th e people
w ho c o u n t in y o u r life know w h a t's w h a t w ith you. The opinions of
o th e rs d e se rv e to be roundly ignored. The banishing ritu al for ru m o r is o
live th e tru th .
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