totoVwaC^'-AHM Mot» to reader* t o r Uart« Mike ta esek e»ck n e k th u acmth. tad »long with «ending tas regrets eska os to p ria i o I Abbey thoae twta paiagona ot American truth tad n r too do tbto oa »oootioa tad oo o ta w ) Wo cheat tu » colama Mota Rarch 1 1 11 tor its w ry o tttia o w end tteetiag retereaoe to tbo OCA EAT MORE COOKIES Dear U n d o M ike M y tu r n and uncle w hom I h a rd ly kn o w are c e le b ra tin g t h e ir V )lh w edding a n n iv e rs a r y n e it m onth T h ey liv e an h o u r s d riv e away and o ur re la tio n s h ip is lim ite d to Christm as and b irth d a y cards The few u s e s I ve seen them as an a d u lt th e y ve been aloof to both me and my husband A re we obliged to g o 7 Do we have to lake a g ift? M y husband says we should but I say w h y be p h o n y 7 W hat do you t h in k 7 M a ry R Portland Cinnamon Ron* Pizza by the Sace. Muflina Eapreaao. and Cookie» 239 N H EM LO CK Ph. 4 3 *2 1 3 2 Dear M ary T h e firs t th in g you should do is slop co n fu sin g U ncle M ike w ith A nn la n d e rs At the risk o f s ta rtlin g you M a ry th e re are re a l problem s in the w o rld to say n o th in g of in te re s tin g questions To say y o u r co n cern s fa ll sh o rt of th e m ark is to h ila rio u s ly u nderstate the case T h is said we press on Should you h o n o r y o u r au n t and u n c le on t h e ir 50th w edding a n n iv e r s a r y 7 To a n s w e r this. U ncle M ike must firs t know if you w ere raised by weasels I f not y o u r d ilem m a disappears U n cle M ike refuses even to discuss w h e th e r you should b rin g a g in H l'R E L H A R R IS L IC E N S E D M . T H E R A P IS T , X?5 5 / 3 5 Dear U ncle M ike 1 ve got a guy problem You re a guy so maybe you can h elp I m 28 single and have a g re a t b o y frie n d N e ith e r o f us has much m oney but e v e ry tim e we go out Peter insists on p ayin g It s not some lame p a te rn a l tr ip In e v e ry o th e r w ay he treats me lik e an equal He even let me push the car once w h en the b attery was dead W hy can t I p ick up a beer ta b 7 A n y ideas? Jill w L in co ln City 303- 3 2 5 2 3 2 3 AN«n/»A Dear Jill U n cle M ike s firs t idea is th at you and he should d r in k b eer soon U ncle M ike s second idea is th at you m ig h t be c o n h is in g cash flo w w ith s e iu a l politics T h is can be a nasty mistake U n cle M ike loves to h e a r of yo u n g swains b e a rin g gifts o f food e n te rta in m e n t, and b eer to the women th ey love As long as th e y don I im ag in e th ey re b u y in g o r leasing so m eth in g it is w h en you stop to t h in k about it a nice th in g fo r them to do W hat true fr ie n d would discourage acts of g e n e ro s ity 7 U n cle M ike applauds y o u r sense of fairn ess and recognizes the im p o rtan ce o f y o u r p a rtn e r le a rn in g to re ceive beer as w e ll as g ive it But. as an yo n e in th e b a rte r econom y o r a successful re la tio n s h ip w ill tell you g iv in g takes m any form s Judging fro m w h at you cite as the o n ly problem in the re la tio n s h ip . U ncle M ike would bet th at you give as much as you g e t - - perh ap s w ith o u t k n o w in g it M en are fu n n y I f yours w ants to pick up the check p ractice y o u r th a n k yous Pick the r ig h t m om ent look him in the eye and tell h im how glad you are he s y o u r frie n d T h e r a p e u tic M a s s a g e S tr e s s R e d u c tio n A r o m a th e r a p y H e rb a l f a c i a l s Home V is it s a v a il J U D Y B E 7 ÏE R L ic e n s e d M a s s a g e T h e r a p is t fly A p p o in tm e n t (5 0 3 ) 7 3 ft-5 b ft9 Seaside, OR 9 7 I 3 6 c / w œ d c n c m m s Dear U ncle M ike. M y problem is my husband A fte r 16 years of m a rria g e suddenly he w ants to spend lim e w ith the boys P la y in g poker shooting pool and d r in k in g beer He says he deserves it I say his place is home w ith his fa m ily We h ave a 15 y e a r old d au g h ter Being a man you 11 probably take h is side D o n n a T M c M in n v ille s ^ e Dear Donna Perhaps w ith o u t m ean in g to you ve h u r t U n cle M ike s fe e lin g s Being n e a rly seven in dog years U n cle M ike has seen e n o u g h of both seies to sh atter w h a te v e r lo yalties or biases he m ig h t have s u ffered as a yo u th He would do v o lu n te e r w o rk for the OCA b efo re siding against an yo n e on the basis o f g en d er, even you Sadly, at least in y o u r case the sword of fairn ess cuts both ways Y o u r problem stems fro m yo u r b e in g a n e u ro tic co n tro l fre a k g e ttin g even w ith the u n iv e rs e fo r not g iv in g you a life R a th e r th a n c o n fro n t y o u r own taw d ry in secu r«L t and grudges you shooae to make y o u r husband s life as m iserable as y o u r own by w h at am ounts to g ro u n d in g h im Such spousal abuse has n o th in g to do w ith gender The w o rld is fille d w ith men stupid en o u g h to believe th at a ll th e little woman needs is him the kids and the big screen Let the poor w re tc h out to play W hat s the w orst th at can h a p p e n 7 He has f u n 7 From the sound o f th in g s you could use a n ig h t out y o u rs e lf W hy not go to yo u r m o th e r s and w h in e about th in g s T e ll y o u r husband U ncle M ike advises he e ith e r d r in k b eer o r shoot pool The o n ly s ig h t more p ath etic th a n a pool p la y e r w ith im p aired visio n is a p o ker p la y e r d ru n k en o u g h to raise on a p a ir e U C E N 6C D AAASSAGC I» « VAH5 R O S A L IN O C U S A C K . 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