ViLbcirc
• • • I rom Vashon Inland
LDGC
The W M *
A good (toy to you, Rev It sure w«? • pleasure to spend some
time emonq the Oregomer» especially with old friends I think
gatherings like The Country Fair, with their im plicit emphasis
on the endurance of the extended family (and attendant values)
are my cultural equivalent of a religious retreat It did me
good
I recall making« brief mention of my latest pre-occupation,
and thought to take th u opportunity to expand, expound and
expose myself a bit There may be something here for every
taste
It all started with the replacement weather seal for a Honda
hatchback, a little piece of hi-tech molded rubber that sat me
back around $ 1 7 When I got home it was too dork to install the
seal, so (for some strange reason) I weighed it before I went to
bed 5 1 Z2 ounces
about IS O a pound*
(Maybe it actually goes back to apples and bananas The
»<$ C o w it
apples always cost more, even though they come from
someplace about a three hour drive from here
or just
b io w .d j ¡n f l y 5
I« * «
5 o * it+ .> ie s
u p river, in your case So, maybe years of festering about
apples and benenas finally produced the sperk that Itt up the
brain cell that prodded me to deposit that seal on the scale )
W ell, B illy, it's just a hoot' I get all these catalogs out and
figure out how much ever ything costs per pound, now And it is
3 rd SdPM M M ^
surprising what the real luxuries and real 'bargains’ are
Like book matches
I 0< an ounce, or ebout 85 fires for a
nickel A new Manne Band harmonica, $ 2 3 a pop, works out to
$ 18 0 /lb Another German product, a new Mercedes Berv, w ill
run you around $ I 3 - $ I 4/1 b, including shipping
The real eye openers so fa r, though, are my new eyeglass
frames These fine fashion statements, fine hinges and fine
metal earhangers, and even finer plastic (plus, mine have
pieces of monoflllament flshline that hold the lenses up)
retailed at $1 19 95 without lenses (that's another $ 4 0 ) , and
weighed in at half an ounce That puts them up there around 4
grand, by the pound I mean FINE hinges1 Most of these fancy
little dudes are imported, too
from France, Italy, Japan, etc
How many other imported fashion statements ere covered by
Health Insurance?
But now, for the really boggling pert, is whet is Qhegpl Like
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when my local purveyor of "Western Family* brands is selling
bottom line ice creem for 99< e helf-gellon, thet e lees then
4 0 t / l b 1 (about half the price of cottage cheese) 2%
acidophilus by the 112 gallon costs about the same, here
3 8 < /lb That s also about how much Weyer heeuser is paying
for good Hr second-growth export grade saw logs
about
$ I 10O/thousand board feet They must be gettinq about
60</1b from our Asian trading partners for those lovely
sticks
pity
OK, so what's a reel good deal? Used brick ( 4 < /lb ) Field
c o r n u 5 < /lb And crude oil?
about 5 1 / 2 t / l b That's
right, at $ 18 50 a barrel, crude is $ 055/1 b But the really
CANNON BEACH
SHUTTLE SCHEDULE 10-6 Friday - Tuesday
OLYMPIC BOOK
EXCHANGE INC
We Buy Books
• TIMES MAY VARY SUGW TtY DEPENDINQ OH CO N D ITIO N S •
. '»» . SOUTH
ea V ie to , Par«
•nay K4e*4R
C44444T
Msflyen
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T<too«4A« *e»»«3a
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astonishing part is that wholesale unleaded gas is only about
8 t / l b , and you and I are getting stuck Tor closer to 1 B t/lb
ouch"
Just think about the efficiency here, though (but not for too
long
it may turn you into a Republican'), and you’ll see that
despite getting pumped out of the bowels (o r some other bodily
o rifice) of the earth about 1 1 Time Zones from here, refined
( ' ) , freight added ( I I ) , you've got a local product of incredible
potential, wholesaling for 9< a pound,
and the government
is charging 2 9 t an ounce just to freight your birthday cards a
mile down the road1 See, Isn't the private sector
INCREDIBLE??'"
AND, here's a product that you never touch (or even smell.
In Oregon
someone else pumps tt for you) Can you Imagine
giving s guy $ 1 0 and he gives you a bag with 55 pounds of
•eCHTH
U « h * A HaiMoct
’ oterarva * iy « *fa
M y P«r«
Wtafloten
With a heart full of yo u -all,
I remain John H Browne, Jr
PS They're paying 3 « /lb for recycled cardboard around here
•gain
and it s about tim e'
PPS If you feel a burning yearning to start a conversation
(say about Cultural Stereotypes, o r? ? ) at your Ix e l grocery,
just head on over to the produce scale with a random,
representative assortment of paper products I guarantee ye
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Ocnitiona App»«ciil«d - No Sar.ic« on W tdnatoay S Thursday
Oth«r Slop» on n«f]uo&l
V E L O C IP É D IQ U E S
Serving All Of Clatsop County
Since 1976
gasoline in it. and you lug it home a couple of miles on foot, and
it's hot out, and the bag is herd to pour into that dammed funnel,
and then it won't all go into the tank, and you heve to tie it shut
and put tt in the shed, and hope the rats don t get it
Hey, but
it only cost I 8< a pound, and it'll get you and the fam ily to The
Fair and back SMILEI
So, you see, anybody with an eye for bargains and value,
why, they d be fools not to buy tons of this gesoline stuff, just
to heve fun with Like, you could moke great big circles in a
stubble field by pouring gas out on the ground, and then lighting
it up, and see whose fire gets around the circle firs t
kind of
like s tx k car racing without the cars and drivers and the extra
stuff I bet you can think of even funner things to do with
something as wonderfully powerful and gloriously cheap as this
gasoline, the Boon of the Bargain Hunters"
Hay, Rev . gotta go Thera's some pretty weighty etuff goinq
down, and I don't want to miss it Tell folks that a scale and a
calculator can be as much fun as TY They w ill thank you for it
Muoro
PAUL SKEEFER
iM v a i
• Design • Construction
• Irrigation • Rockeries
• Sod & Saad Lawns
• FTatainmg Walls
• Water Faatures
• Nativa and
Ornamental Planting
• Tractor Services
MIKE'S KIKE SHOP
<
CANNON ItKACII
M 1 I m I21MI
H ik i. TAI.«: rU M i-4iiz-|2iut
•’ I» M ilt SIR
I AVM IV »H Al li. HR U 7 II1 I
I l s easy to be in d e p e n d e n t w h en you we
got M oney Hui la he in d e p e n d e n t w hen
you h a v e n ’t got a t h in g th a t s th e l ord s test
M a h a lle Jackson
&
1 s PRESSO
• FE A TU R IN G STA R BU C K S COFFEE
• WIDE SELECTION OE M AC AZIN 1
• H E A L T H F U L SNACKS
HOURS
E V E R Y D A Y 8 :0 0 -4 :0 0
368-7450
500 LANEDA AVE.
I have came to th e c o n c lu s ie n a f te r
a a i y y e a rs o f seaetiaees sad e t p e r ie n c a .
th a t you c a n n e t c a s e to a a y c o n c lu s ie n
a t a ll
V ita S a c k v tlle V e st
P O BOX 698
M A N Z A N IT A , OR 97130
H it t iin FÖ6L S tP M U W
5