One could make a good case, and many
have, that history w ill call our time the
Age of idiocy
Given a dark sense of humor and an even
superficial grasp of the past, it s possible
to muster from this distinction a
perverse sort of pride During the long
run of humanity's slapstick lit t le comedy
on the planet, com petition between truly
stupid episodes has been nothing if not
keen
The Children s Crusade comes to mind
And Manifest Destiny And the notion that
witches, when hogt led and pitched into a
pond, would float
Forrest Gump was not the firs t to point
out that stupid is as stupid does
But the stupid is not always idiotic To
qualify as an idiot act, being dim w itted
isn t enough ignorance, if not bliss, can
at least be charming idiocy is another
m atter For an act to be idiotic, those
performing it must know better and go
ahead anyway Idiocy is the sum of
stupidity, indifference, and blind
contempt In fu ll flower, it's an
impressive force
As you may or may not have heard, the
United States Navy recently agreed to halt
bombing exercises in and around a marine
sanctuary off the Olympic Peninsula The
ceasefire w ill give them tim e to consult
federal "fish experts" about the possible
negative effects involved in pattern
bombing salmon runs
Sure, it sounds farfetched, but you just
never know
A spokeshuman for the National Marine
Fisheries 5ervice acknowledged that "a
potential to damage Chinook salmon and
other protected species migrating to the
Snake River" might follow from dropping
SOO lb cluster bombs on their migratory
route
Hi, we re from the government and
we re here to annihilate you
Fish huggers. small surprise, see
At the risk of beating a dead horse, we
can t help seeing a lit t le irony in the
tim ing In June of 1982. while one branch
of the government was unleashing hiqh-
tech mayhem and destruction upon the
region's totem fish, several other
branches were arresting River People for
catching a few of the shell shocked
survivors
It s hard to imagine a Big Picture in
which this makes sense
Lest we forget, the late David Sohappy,
a Yakama priest, did hard time in the
federal slammer In a just and less
idiotic world, hed be followed by scores
of pilots, an admiral or two, the
Secretary of the Navy, and the Chairman
of the Joint Chiefs of S taff
Shall we all, once again, hold our
breath?
strafing endangered species as an act of
umblemished insanity Everyone has an
opinion To the m ilita ry mind, air strikes
might be just what s needed to toughen up
the salmon for the real challenge leaping
forty storey dams
Looking for a few good fish, that sort
of thing
Anyway, idiotic as it might sound in
the face of vanishing salmon runs, attack
aircraft from Whidbey island Naval Air
Station have been blowing up the ocean
off Gray s Harbor for at least fifte e n
years Fortunately, no damage was done
"At this point," a government
spokeshuman was quick to calm concern
for the nearly extinct, "the Navy has
reported no evidence whatsoever of fish
k ill ’
Talk about luck
c o r a m l c s c u lp t u r e • c e r a m i c g a r d e n a r t
EAT
M ORE
C O O KIES
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C in n am o n RoMe
P izza by the Suca
Muttma FspreMM)
and C ookies
239 N
HEM LO CK
P h. 4 3 4 2 8 3 2
by Northwest Gallery
2 3 » N o r t h H o m lo c k
P O
C a n n o n B o o th
5 0 9 /4 3 6 0 7 4 1
O regon
M lA R U P itE
What would you have done?" That was the
question he asked after hed told me the story
didr11 really have an answer He s a farmer, 63
years old In 1983, after 30 years, he paid off
the mortgage on his farm He and his w ife are
completely dependent on income from the fru it,
berries and livestock they produce
a while back he read an article in the
newspaper Sunday supplement about a rare,
perhaps endangered plant found along the Oregon
coast
Darlingtoma Jacobs Pulpit, sometimes called
the "Cobra Plant" because of its shape it looked
fam iliar to him That afternoon he walked to a
small low spot in the middle of his cherry
orchard Less than an acre, it is always damp
from a s**ep in the hillside He was right The
damp ground supported dozens of Darlingtoma
He thought about a report he d seen on
television about this rancher in the southwest
It had been discovered that this rancher had an
endangered snail living in a pond on his land
Eventually, in order to use any of the land around
the pond, he had to fence it off at his own
expense He was also forbidden to use any
pesticides w ith in a half m ile of the area
The cherry orchard earnings are the largest
part of my friend's income He walked back to
the barn He ftile d a spraycan w ith herbicide He
went back and kille d every Darlingtoma He s
checked since to see that none have survived
"if they were declared endangered." he said,
they might have done me like they did that
fellow w ith the snails
"What if they wouldri t let me spray my
cherries? The cherry processors have a zero
tolerance policy on worms One worm in one
cherry and they refuse the whole crop That's
one, one single worm
"That isn t a l l I d have s t ill had to pay
property tax on the land I couldn t use They
won t let you set it off into a separate tax lot, so
if you don't pay taxes on it the county takes your
whole farm I m sixty three I just couldn t take
the chance What would you have done?"
I ih io k the one lesson I have
le a rn e d is th a t th e re is no
s u b s tilu U f a r p a y in g a tte n tio n
Diane S a v y e r
B o« 1021
» 7 1 1 0 __________J O Y C E L I N C O L N , D i r e c t o r
/'u< i/ic North A rtl Contem/turury Art <t Cruft
( elebrating 5th fear in Cunnun Btoch
ANTHONY STOFTIELLO
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— Architect
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DON PETRIE’S
ITALIAN FOOD COMPANY
613NW T h ird 2 6 5 F O O D
Nye Beach, N e w p ort
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